OneWithTheVoid

Zero & Night - The Void

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CELEBRATION

January 2, 2019

 

This was my first year celebrating Christmas, and my first year in a while celebrating New Year. If you're expecting some kind of mushy feel good story about me discovering the joy of the holidays, I'm sorry to disappoint, because that's not what I'm here to talk about.

 

I've never really understood holidays. They're a day of the year to indulge in unhealthy food and spend time with family, neither of which are activities that I have any real interest in. Food isn't my thing and Zero is the only family I've still got. There's Zero's family, of course, but they don't know about me. Except for one of them. But that's a topic Zero wants to cover herself since it's so personal to her. Anyway, Zero's kind of the outcast of the family, so even if they did know about me, they aren't much for conversation. Not that I mind. I've never had more than a few close family ties at once anyway. In my opinion, there's no use trying to get close to someone that you honestly just couldn't care less about.

 

But the holidays are important to Zero, and she wanted to celebrate them with me. So we did a little of our own celebration. One thing she was really concerned about was gift giving. How are we supposed to give gifts to each other when we inhabit the same physical body, and when both gifts would be coming out of the same pool of money (Zero's)? Eventually we decided on getting something that we can both enjoy together. So Zero got two video games, the old Pokemon Red and Blue, so each of us can have one and journey through the game "together". I hate to admit it, but it's kind of fun. I got Red, by the way. Wouldn't have it any other way. Zero's still salty that I got the game with scyther in it while she got stuck with pinsir, hah.

 

As for New Year, we just stayed at home and yelled happy new year at midnight, and that was about it. But then Zero spent ALL FREAKING DAY cooking a metric ton of food. Again, not really my thing... Still, we spent more time together playing video games and reading afterward, so I suppose that was nice.

 

In conclusion, to everyone who loves the holidays, more power to you. I just think they're kind of stupid.

 


 

PROGRESS REPORTS:

About Us

12/13/2018 - Vocalization

12/15/2018 - Visualization

1/2/2019 - Celebration - [YOU ARE HERE]

3/11/2019 - Intervention



| Zero || Night |

 

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Nice to hear things are doing well. Hollidays are overrated if you're not actively involved with organized get togethers.

[Hidden]

They do call me Bear in many places since high school and i prefer that, but AB is fine too. My tulpas call be B here because they refuse to think of me as a 'bear', which i'm obviously not. (Unless i am.) B represents my given name.

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We really agree with you! We admittedly got excited, probably mostly as a result of Venny's excitement more than the actual holiday excitement, but not a whole lot happened and it definitely wasn't that glamorous. Her family is not our family so we felt no connection to the actual time spent together with them. Venny's memories tell us it used to be far more exciting in the past, since as a child, there were gifts and big family games and whatnot, while today the family is partially broken and there are no kids anymore! But it was still enjoyable to some extent. Our favorite part was probably the fireworks on the new years!


~ We are Venny, the host, and Viper, my soul! ~

        Click here! Come join us on the chat!

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I think the appeal to holidays (other than being off work/school) is the collection of memories from when people were younger associated with them and maybe who they have to spend them with now. Like sharing a favorite song with someone special, I guess? The colored lights and fireworks were pretty, some of the music was happy and cheerful, but Lance has a big empty hole where family is supossed to be and as a result, not a lot of fond holiday memories. They are in part then, just regular days to us but I've been doing my best to be his family now and the two of us have been trying to make new memories to be able to look back fondly on and appreciate not just certain days but everyday more in the future. Try making holidays special in your own ways and hold those memories fondly for years to come. :3

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Good morning, Zero and Night. Nice to meet you both. I hope the two of you are doing well. In your intro in the other thread, you wrote: "I suppose my current goal is to get Night to be a little more vocal and autonomous." If you will permit some questions, I am just wanting to pursue clarifications, and is in no way meant to be nitpicking or be construed as arguments of semantics; it's just I had these thoughts and I would rather avoid making an assumptions. When you ask that question, helping Night to be more vocal an autonomous, is that in all settings? Inner world and outer world experiences? Based on your narrative, Night seems present, and is capable of insight and communication, to the point I wonder if being more assertive or interactive across all domains is better than autonomous, as it appears she has demonstrated autonomy. Again, this doesn't mean the question is bad; I applied it to myself, and found it helpful, in that I clearly experience variations across domains in levels of perceived strength of sovereignty. saying that probably demands explanation: fully immersed in an inner world, wonderland, or lucid dream, there is clear boundaries and deliberateness of interaction that is not scripted or expected, where as when I am focused on external reality, it takes some effort letting go of expectations to get that 'oh that wasn't me' experience.

 

You wrote, in that same intro, "Obviously this was a sudden and shocking development, so I consulted the internet to make sure I wasn't losing my mind." I found this humorous, in a couple ways, and can relate. With my experience, I was expecting auditory stimuli, but still had that sense of 'shock' when it occurred, like being in a day dream and hearing something that draws you out, and knowing it couldn't be, you get up and you search the home to make sure there is nothing on or anyone there, and then only to hear it again... (Be careful what you ask for? :) ) Consulting the internet, though, to determine level of mind loss... I am just curious how that went? Did your first search lead you right to tulpas? Clearly you found answers that comforted you.

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Hello Solarchariot, nice to meet you as well. We're happy to answer any questions you may have about our experiences or our previous statements! I agree that Night is certainly present and vocal. Perhaps autonomy wasn't necessarily the proper word for me to use in this context. When I made that statement, I essentially meant that I want Night to do more things on her own, like starting conversations, participating in forum discussions, and just generally interacting with others such that I'm not really involved. Whenever Night and I are talking or doing an activity together, she clearly demonstrates that she is independent. It's when interacting with others that she gets a bit more reclusive. So it seems our experience is similar to yours in terms of inner reality versus external reality.

 

In retrospect, perhaps it wasn't the brightest idea for me to consult the internet, of all places, about my mental health, haha! Based on my limited knowledge at the time, I started with a google search for "adult with imaginary friend" and started at the top. The first result was a Psychology Today article that didn't even have anything to do with imaginary friends in the first place. The next two results were health forum posts made by people concerned about having imaginary friends as adults. I read through them and their replies, but it just didn't connect. Night didn't feel like an "imaginary friend". And none of the people in those discussions described anything close to the experience I'd had with her.

 

Finally, the fourth result was this article about tulpas. While I disagree with the article's insistence on calling tulpas "imaginary friends", the general overview of the article seemed to click with us a little more. So then I did a search for "tulpas" and got tulpa.info. And now here we are!



| Zero || Night |

 

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Intervention

March 11, 2019

 

Zero has a long history of not following through with tasks she has set out to accomplish. But I wasn't around for that long history. So now I'm going to pester her to finish the things she starts, and that includes making progress reports. So consider this a hand-possessing intervention on my behalf.

 

Things have been very... busy in Zero's life. She gets distracted easily by all the stresses of the college experience. With that, we haven't had much time to do anything together other than chat throughout the day. And sure, that's enough to keep me present and aware, but it isn't necessarily enough to satisfy a friendship. So I've been pushing her to take some time for herself, as well as for me, and so far it hasn't been too difficult to get her to listen. I want her to understand the importance of finishing things, not only because of responsibility but also just for the thrill of it all, to see something through to the end and be able to look back and say "Hey, I did that thing I said I was going to do. Pretty cool."

 

Of course, it helps that I've now gained the ability to possess her hands. Full body possession was achieved once for a short while, but it was difficult and exhausting and we need to work a little more before we try again. It wasn't so difficult on my part, I could say that I'm a bit of a professional (long story/inside joke), but for Zero it is very awkward and uncomfortable. I can respect that and accept that we need to give it some time.

 

I basically just wanted to share that we've been experimenting with possession, and that I'm intervening a little with Zero's short attention span for projects and coursework. We've been playing more video games, which is a lot more interesting now that I can play them myself. (I already beat her best time in a game she's been playing for a while, and she's a little salty, mwahaha!) And I'd say that it has been a definite benefit to both her and to myself.

 


 

PROGRESS REPORTS:

About Us

12/13/2018 - Vocalization

12/15/2018 - Visualization

1/2/2019 -  Celebration

3/11/2019 - Intervention - [YOU ARE HERE]



| Zero || Night |

 

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