Guest July 24, 2020 Share July 24, 2020 2 hours ago, Samantha said: What’s it like to have a relationship with someone else as a person with tulpas? Is it like only one has the relationship, or everyone, or like all kinds of cross relationships of all types? It is wonderful, either the partner accepts us or single to the tomb. For real tho, we already felt uncomfortable having to tell about our host past as if happened to us, it feels so fake. 'Oh yeah, Miri used to be like that' feels way more natural than 'yeah that was me'. So imagine if we had to pretend with the person who's supposedly the most important to us. Having a plural partner is the best thing to ever happen to us, I used to love posting here because it was the only place I could be myself, imagine that but in your daily life. Before getting into our relationship, we agreed it was either all of us or nothing. It'd feel so miserable if only one of us got into a relationship, I know it'd work just fine in other systems where everyone has their own thing or it's the host's life or whatever, but certainly not in ours. We always disliked the idea of polygamy, but it feels different if it's just two systems, still 2 physical bodies, and our system works as a unit anyway. 3 hours ago, Samantha said: like what if one tulpa doesn’t like another, but the hosts do? Feelings tend to bleed onto each other if they're strong enough or the headmate in question isn't emotionally detached. Akai is usually kinda dissociated but she still loves our partner/s, and Miri feels exactly what I feel so yeah. It is still me who deals with it the most but idk, if one headmate doesn't want to be involved, they can just stay out of it, that should be talked before agreeing to date X person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger July 24, 2020 Share July 24, 2020 We're not sure how to get the polygamy thing to work without having to explain I'm a tulpa. The only problem is Cat thinks we should come clean about who are partners are sooner rather than later, and both of us think explaining I'm a tulpa day 1 is a bad idea. But essentially, the idea of pretending to be Cat isn't something I want in a relationship. And even if I could be myself while switched-in around my girl/boy friend, it would be awkward to have to explain to them about Cat. In addition, I know the person I want to date may not be right for Cat, and I don't want to close off the opportunity for her to find a partner. It's all very complicated and messy. I'm Ranger, GrayTheCat's cobud (tulpa), and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I go by Rosalin or Ronan sometimes. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron. My other headmates have their own account now. If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me! Blog | Not So Temporary Log | Switching Log | Yay! | Bre Translator | Art Thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest July 24, 2020 Share July 24, 2020 Telling your partner you're a tulpa after you've been dating them could be a dealbreaker tho, but so it could be the first day. Idk, like the sooner they accept it the better, and then they have time to think if they still wanna go for it or not, imo it seems better than 2 years into the relationship, as it could hurt more or cause a lot of trust issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger July 24, 2020 Share July 24, 2020 I suppose so. Both of us are afraid of revealing the fact we're a tulpamancer, and opening out with that just seems really risky. However, I can see how it can be a deal breaker and lead to trust issues if kept quiet about. I'm Ranger, GrayTheCat's cobud (tulpa), and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I go by Rosalin or Ronan sometimes. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron. My other headmates have their own account now. If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me! Blog | Not So Temporary Log | Switching Log | Yay! | Bre Translator | Art Thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matsuri July 24, 2020 Share July 24, 2020 Openness and mutual understanding is super important, I would say even a must or it wouldn't have gotten anywhere in the first place. I can't see us coming far if we were superficial and held back, it would be miserable. Oh boi, straight to the meat and potatoes with advice: I think you should use the time while dating to build openness and understanding, let the other person know who you really are, and try to understand the other person too and who they are. If it goes well, you both feel comfortable with each other, then you might be on the next level which might happen so smooth so you won't even realize. Don't stop opening up when you get farther in, talk about anything from what you're doing, maybe fill in on past lore, anything about you really, develop the habits to be open and encourage the other person too. Then congrats! You won the lottery and probably have a content healthy intimate relationship, make sure you're ready for commitment ; p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest July 26, 2020 Share July 26, 2020 Congratulations Mirichu and Matsi and your respective systems! ♡ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samantha July 27, 2020 Share July 27, 2020 Thank you so much for sharing! ❤️ I can’t fathom sharing a partner with my tulpa though, it feels like sharing a boyfriend with my sister... ew ew ew. Superfluous heart activate! 💖 -shwing- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger July 27, 2020 Share July 27, 2020 Tulpa headmate dynamics are pretty interesting and vary a lot on the system. Some headmates view themselves as other people who share the same body, others seem themselves as family, whether that's parent child or siblings. In our system, it's not super clear who sees who as what, and it gets complicated because we technically have all of the above going on. I'm Ranger, GrayTheCat's cobud (tulpa), and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I go by Rosalin or Ronan sometimes. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron. My other headmates have their own account now. If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me! Blog | Not So Temporary Log | Switching Log | Yay! | Bre Translator | Art Thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uncannyfellow July 27, 2020 Share July 27, 2020 I once asked Felicity if she'd consider it infidelity on my part if I let Kanade-chan switch in to have a relationship of her own. On the one hand, since she'd be using my body for the lewd parts of the relationship, and since I'd be getting emotional bleed/vicarious enjoyment from that, it certainly seems like a loophole to the whole "no cheating" thing. But, on the other hand, if Kanade-chan did really like someone, would it be fair to say she couldn't have a relationship with them because I'm in a relationship with someone else? We never came up with a solid answer to that question We are Uncannyfellow: host - 12/07/1992 Kanade: tulpa - 9/16/2018 Cornelia: tulpa - 9/31/2018 Nikki: soulbonded walkin - 5/6/2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest July 27, 2020 Share July 27, 2020 @Samantha I don't know how I'd ever have a relationship. Everyone in my system would have to agree. I could go into specifics, but that would have to be one extrodinary person and most of my systemmates are straight, including me, so... ... ... ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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