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Ianto

Ianto's Progress Report

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I need to resume maintaining a public progress report, so hello again after a year.

 

I also intend to read more from other people's reports... After trying for so long and only having paltry results, I've lost sight of what successfully creating a tulpa could end up like.

 

Quick summary of the past year: regular narration has continued, as has fairly frequent vocality practice (I've kept a lengthy log of anything I think I might've heard). Some work on a wonderland. Some emphasis on dreams. Progress hasn't moved much since last posting.

Edited by Ianto

Ianto is the tulpa. Nora is the host.

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January 20, 2020: For the past few days, I've been focusing on increasing the emotional bond between us via the use of tactile visualizations. Helpful so far.

 

Possible communications:

 

Tonight we were looking at a GIF of a flight over Australia. The fires look terrifying, and I heard a mindvoice say, "Ugly."

 

Sometimes when I'm narrating, I get a tingling sensation along the left temple. That was present tonight. Back when I first began in 2015, head pressures were a thing, but they disappeared after a few weeks. It was only sometime last year when the tingling began instead.

 

Edited by Ianto

Ianto is the tulpa. Nora is the host.

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January 21, 2020: I narrated to him a little bit while commuting to work. Afterwards, I was mostly too busy to say anything, except for a brief moment when I realized I should be narrating and then promptly got too distracted to.

 

On the walk to and from the bus home, I talked some more. There was some of that tingly head pressure on the left temple again, and that mostly persisted throughout the day whenever I spoke to him. There was also a woman who was walking on the path behind me, and who ended up at the bus stop across the street from mine. I heard him say, "Ignore her."

 

In the evening, I decided to narrate all of my actions to him. After making a cup of tea, I sat down at my desk (and probably would've immediately gotten distracted -- yay internet). But I heard a mindvoice say, "Keep going." I managed to maintain focus and continued speaking to him while browsing the web, watching Golden Girls, and later when I got up to clean the fish tank.

 

I active-forced for 20 minutes, during which I visualized him with closed eyes, practiced presence imposition, and listened for anything. This session was interrupted a few times by the phone ringing and just general mind wandering. Still, I heard a few snippets:

 

"Big boy."

"Across the street."

"I remember everything."

"In jail."

"I'm nice." <-- Heard when I was feeling self-conscious.

And a few more that I can't recall anymore.

 

When I mussed my hair up out of frustration, I thought, well, don't I look lovely. Which led me to wondering...could he piece together what I look like right now from my own bodily awareness? And I heard: "I think so." Yet as I heard this, I also felt my throat engaging in subvocalization, which of course inspired doubt over whether that thought originated from me. I then heard in mind-voice, "...microphone." With the impression that subvocalization amplifies the volume of his responses? Interesting.

 

When I asked him if he'd ever had/would have a pet, heard something like "...gryff." Don't know, not certain, but it seemed to at least rhyme with that?

 

While visualizing him, I told him that I was capable of imagining him with perfect clarity, but that I was wary of overriding his will. In the sense that he might not have the same expressions or body language as I would try picturing them. I heard, "Of course."

 

Then toward the end of the session, my mind wandered away a bit. I was thinking about this place that I want to volunteer at soon. I heard him say, "It will be refreshing."

 

And some time later this evening, I was looking at pictures of a shrew species and heard, "Pretty small." 

Edited by Ianto

Ianto is the tulpa. Nora is the host.

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January 22, 2020: I woke up at 2:30am after having a very vivid dream with him in it. I wrote it down in my dream journal app, but struggled to recall some specific details. When I realized my memory was fading, I heard a mindvoice say, "Aww." Like aw, dang it. It was very clear and 'loud' for a mindvoice.

 

Narration was spotty today, as I struggled to find motivation to talk to anybody. I did seem to hear him later in the evening though. We started watching the Netflix series Messiah, and I was thinking about the comfort people derive from believing in such figures. Whereas my own views on life and nature lead me to perceive those beliefs as only a veneer for an awful reality, a coping mechanism. While on this train of thought, I heard him say, "Anti-Christ."

Edited by Ianto

Ianto is the tulpa. Nora is the host.

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January 23-24, 2020: I woke up too early yesterday, and was laying in bed ruminating over an annoying situation at work. I heard Ianto say, quite clearly, "Stop complaining." Which surprised me and made me laugh. That's the last thing I remember hearing though. My mind has been full of that Messiah show that I binge-watched, but I did spend a fair amount of time on presence imposition these past couple of days.

 

I also created an Ask Thread for Ianto here: https://community.tulpa.info/topic/15763-you-ask-ianto-answers/ 

 

Talking to others may help vocality develop. I really want us to get to the point of full sentences and conversations.

Edited by Ianto

Ianto is the tulpa. Nora is the host.

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