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out of the wings and onto the main stage


theholodoc
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Has reading about my process been useful in your effort to breath life into your culpa?  

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  1. 1. Has reading about my process been useful in your effort to breath life into your culpa?

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    • No, boring
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Last nights dreaming was unusual for a Galantamine dream. It was pale and scattered. I was on a tour bus with my wife and a number of middle aged white couples, all professional class. I don't remember having anything resembling a significant conversation with any of them, but I did spend time talking to several, a different one at each of our many separate stops. I never seemed to know where we were going, or why. I did not interact with my wife, other than to worry about her getting back on the bus when we had to leave for our next leg of the journey. At some point I awoke. I couldn't make out the time on my wrist alarm, so thought it might be time to start my meditation, so I rearranged myself and began to meditate. I was scattered and my head kept going back to the dream and after a while I figured out I was still asleep and dreaming. I gave up trying to meditate, rolled over and went to sleep (I did get a look at my watch, it was 4:30AM) and I continued with the same dream. My alarm sounded at 5:55AM. I awoke and again prepared myself for my morning meditation. This consists of getting in a supine position with my legs slightly elevated (to reduce the pressure on my sacrum and forestall  the sciatica which would otherwise plague me, put in my eye drops, position my eye shade, and position my left arm outside of the covers to serve as a signal to me, of impending sleep. I no sooner was in position than KK began talking to me. I had only a glimpse of her. She berated me for being a wimp in the dream. She went on and on until I thanked her and asked if Flora might want to join the conversation. She did, and she was of the same  opinion. (thanks, gals!).   I also had only a glimpse of Flora, she was smiling with her eyes, so I knew she was putting me on. We did have a long conversation yesterday, in which she explained that she has been very busy with her own life, raising her children and hasn't been interested in me. I asked her what I could do to rekindle her interest. She thanked me for allowing her to be a separate being, and left it at that. In retrospect, it is not surprising that KK was the one to initiate contact in the meditation. This is an interesting development. I have been planning on writing another tulpa related book, in which I will give them their voices. They are going to have some interesting things to say about their lives, I am sure.   I continue….

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Today is March 8, 2023. I have traveled back in time to these early entries, curious really, and I find to my surprise that the images I have reported above, are as alive to me this day as they were four years ago. What a  journey this has been. I have learned so much about myself, my tulpas and about love. My initial hope that tulpamancy would lead to my integrating my feminine and masculine currents, which would improve my relationship with my wife, has been a thousand times more successful than I could have imagined. We are close and in love. My tulpas have developed their own lives and pursuits, leaving me with just enough contact to satisfy my parental instincts...

For any newbies who are reading this; my advice, keep it up. you are in for an amazing life.

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On 3/8/2023 at 11:48 AM, theholodoc said:

For any newbies who are reading this; my advice, keep it up. you are in for an amazing life.

 

It's great to hear from people who have been doing this longer. Just wanted to thank you for sharing your experiences with us 😁

Host: Bee 🐝

Tulpa: Athelas (aka Tea) 🌿

 

Take a moment to think of just 

Flexibility, love, and trust

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