Fastdash

Fastdash Attempts to Tulpa

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The human brain's support for multiple people living in one head is glitchy and buggy. So this sort of thing will happen occasionally. For us, it's been best to accept and appreciate the experience we have at any given time. If a component of the experience doesn't make sense, we just flag it 'glitch' and move on. Over time, the experience has improved greatly. So keep believing, keep practising, and some of the current annoyances will gradually fall away on their own.

 

If Wigglytuff seems fine, he probably is fine. If he says he is, it's probably best to treat him as such, as it is very disheartening when someone close to you refuses to take you at your word. If you feel you've done badly, you can apologize once, but then let it go, as dwelling on it is counterproductive.

 

-Vesper


Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, Not a Tulpa, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Unseelie Court, Not a Tulpa, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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Posted (edited)

It's not entirely clear by what you said, but the impression I get is that both "Thank you" and "You're welcome" were said in Wigglytuff's mindvoice. I'm hesitant to say this to a new person, especially one who just said they have doubts, but mindvoice isn't a good indicator of who's talking. Try and think in Morgan Freeman's voice right now - I think you'll find it's not that hard. And you know what? Unless you have a Morgan Freeman tulpa, your brain isn't used to thinking in Morgan Freeman's voice. We steal each other's mindvoices all the time, and not as a practical joke thing! Completely on accident, I'll be talking in my host's mindvoice, or he'll be talking in mine. You can also have intrusive thoughts in a tulpa's voice. When stuff like that happens, it's best to ask "Did you do that?" before you ask "Why did you do that?" Tulpas are susceptible to your host's opinions, so if you assume both "Thank you" and "You're welcome" were Wigglytuff's doing, that'll increase the chance that Wigglytuff thinks he said both of those things

 

What if Wigglytuff did indeed say both of those things? Here's a rather common situation - a waiter says "Have a nice meal" and the patron says "You too" even though the waiter isn't eating right now. Sometimes speech just happens on autopilot, especially when we're making polite noises instead of saying things of substance. When Wigglytuff starts to have intense political debates with himself, then you can start freaking out

Could your doubts affect Wigglytuff? Yes, probably, but like all new systems, I think you're both mistaking your thoughts for intrusive thoughts you were slow to dismiss. Next time "you" doubt Wigglytuff, follow it up with "I don't actually think that. That's just an intrusive thought." Of course, Wigglytuff will need to agree that such a thing can be sincere - but it can indeed be sincere, so he should agree with that pretty quickly

Edited by Felicity Ravenlocke

Account used for when Cornelia and Kanade are merged

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1/16/2020

 

Things have been normal since the incident mentioned in my last post. It's not even something that's really on my mind anymore. 

 

Yesterday, Wigglytuff and I started trying to work on possession. It was something that I thought about a decent amount, but we never got around to trying. So, instead of doing our meditation/wonderland forcing, we sat down and tried that.

It actually went pretty well. I could feel my fingers twitching along with some tingling in my body. He even managed to raise my right arm at one point. We were both really excited about this as you may expect. It didn't feel like completely alien movements, but there was something so different about them. Slow, shaky, and overall like he was putting lots of effort into moving my body. Even after we stopped, I could still feel my fingers twitching, although less so.
 

We tried it again while I had some free time at work, in privacy, of course. The movements were still slow and shaky, but he raised both of my pointer fingers, and even my wrists and hands at some point. I clearly remember him dragging my hand off my leg very slowly until it dangled from my side. This time, however, he couldn't raise my arm. It also seemed like he'd at some point drop any part he was controlling and told me he lost focus.

It's pretty hard to practice, though. Usually soon after starting, my body feels uncomfortable. I'm not sure how to describe the feeling. In a way, it's tense, but I wouldn't say I was feeling like that. Maybe it had something to do with the tingling I felt.

There's been some pretty promising results so far. I can't wait to see where this leads. 

 

Edited by Fastdash

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A lot of that sounds pretty similar to my first attempts at possession. Keep up the practice, and soon, Wigglytuff should be able to do anything you can


I live in a castle and have two tulpas, Kanade-chan and Uncannyfellow

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2/18/2020

 

Sorry for not updating this for a while. Not too much has happened over the past month sinc emy last post, but I want to get down the few things that have been going on.

 

WIgglytuff and I began trying a different kind of meditation last month. Instead of just focusing on him and doing any random activities we think of, we've instead been creating various scenes that we relax and talk in. During these sessions, I try to imagine details to make it more vivid, like how the ground feels beneath me or what kind of sounds and smells I'd notice if I was actually in that place. We've done this in scenes such as a bamboo forest, a rocky beach, a temple in the mountains, and a forest clearing. I'm hoping learning to focus on just the stimuli around me will help with possession in the future. 

So far, it's been working pretty well. It was helping me focus for a while and there weren't many issues. However, now I keep getting intrusive thoughts and they just won't leave. I've had this issue before, but now it makes it difficult to get anything done without some kind of preparation period where I watch or listen to something relaxing with Wigglytuff, and even then they eventually crop up. These thoughts are usually visual and tend to get in the way of the scene, and no matter what I try, I cannot get them away. I've tried to cover them up, push them out, or even just ignore them, but they don't stop. Then the're usually followed up by random phrases and other "auditory" thoughts that drag my attention away from what I'm trying to focus on.These make meditation pretty much impossible. 

If you have any advice for me about how to silence my mind or anything else, please let me know. I'd really appreiciate it.

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