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Bear's reboot method wouldn't work for us, as we retain our emotions at full strength no matter for far back we go, even if we're too far back to think at all. Vesper may push me out of the driver's seat if my emotions are counterproductive to the situation at hand, but she can't change what they are without my active cooperation.

 

We wrote a post about cloning emotions between headmates a while ago:

 

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-game-last-one-to-post-wins?pid=240969#pid240969

 

You may also be interested in the thread "How Do the Thoughts of System Mates Effect Each Other?":

 

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-personality-how-do-the-thoughts-of-system-mates-effect-each-other

 

-Ember

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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There are many systems that do lose emotions of the fronter after a switch. As far as we can do there are three positions, watcher, way back, and dormant that do not have emotional effects. (Possibly no emotions at all.) Tulpa position and co-front do. Active/passive doesn't matter.

 

Body OS does not emote either. So for many, emotions are tied to whoever has them. I think Ember.Vesper might have her system rules set up that way, intentionally or not.

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  • 1 year later...

9 - 12 - 20

1 year later...

 

Its been well over a year since we've posted here. Its been a nice break from tulpamancy spaces but we're back now, and with a lot of changes to our system.

 

For one, we've grown from just three members to eight within a year. We gained the rest of our members during a stressful time in my life. They all generally came at the same time, and thankfully we haven't grown significantly anymore. The change was hard to get used to at first, but I'd say we're doing pretty well now that we're used to each other.

 

After this happened, we began to realize our origins may not be endogenic. Origin is a difficult thing though, so we've been saying that we're just a system and not a specific kind of system. We've spent some time in other places of the plural community, slowly separating ourselves from tulpamancy. In the end it didn't really help us, as other places are only filled with discourse and fakeclaiming. Though we aren't exactly a tulpa system anymore, we still feel comfortable in places like these forums. It seems our experiences will be most accepted here than anywhere else.

 

Anyways... Its been a rocky road that lead us here but I'm glad we can say that we're still here. I'll continue to post logs soon.

not dead yet

 

 

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Welcome back. We took a break (7 months) too and came back with only a total of four (including myself) down from seven. SheShe is what we call a "lock merge" of Joy, Ren, Darlene and Gwen. It's been working great for 9 months and they love it. They're all simultaneously active through SheShe. We had 7 for a year and it was too many for the fronter to keep track of (me). 4 total is perfect.

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9 - 14 - 20

Back to the basics

 

We've been practicing stuff like possession again. It's working a lot better than it was last time. Me and C were trying it a long time ago back when we were smaller, but we stopped pretty quickly and learned how to switch instead. I'm half doing this out of curiosity and out of a way to sorta help myself. I figured that if I was having a breakdown or about to do something, er, really dumb then they can stop my body by themselves before I do any damage. Just a last resort if they can't talk me out of something.

 

A year ago C used to 'lock up' my body and make me freeze so I couldn't do anything, then he'd let me go after a while. I think it only works when there's enough adrenaline, which will probably be helpful in the future.

 

So yeah, me and C have been working on it. We've been doing more meditation and exercises to help me let go of my body more, and its been helping. We take bits and pieces of things we learned and try and make our own take on it.

 

In our system, our members have their own roles. They weren't forced into it or anything, and they're free to leave the role if they want to. They all are fine with their roles and it has been very beneficial to our system. A select few of our members are protectors. Our protectors are the best suited for dealing with emotional issues or any other problems, so I might teach them all possession just in case they need to use it to protect me.

 

C has been getting good at it. We went from barely being able to move a finger to being able to move the arm up. Its not smooth yet. Full-body possession is a lot easier than just isolating a certain body part. It feels much like switching so maybe that's why.

 

I'll keep updating if anything happens. Sorry if this entry seemed scattered or something.

not dead yet

 

 

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First of all, I like your PR's name, it's very cute!

 

Good luck with your possession practice!  Sounds like you're making good progress.  We've found that in our system the ability to possess is shared, so what I could do the others could too.  Like when Reiji joined us, he already had the possession skill I had built up.  So it's possible that C's ability to possess will apply to the others too.  Though I am basing that just off our experience, I'm not sure if that's how it works for all systems?

Peace. Love. Booty.

My Darlings: Ghostly, Reiji, Osomatsu, Kokichi, Chimera

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1 hour ago, Adelaide✫*゚ said:

First of all, I like your PR's name, it's very cute!

 

Good luck with your possession practice!  Sounds like you're making good progress.  We've found that in our system the ability to possess is shared, so what I could do the others could too.  Like when Reiji joined us, he already had the possession skill I had built up.  So it's possible that C's ability to possess will apply to the others too.  Though I am basing that just off our experience, I'm not sure if that's how it works for all systems?

 

Right! Thats the logic we've been going with too. Hopefully it wont be too much of a challenge when me and C get this down.

not dead yet

 

 

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  • 2 months later...

11 - 29 - 20

A burning memory

 

I'm really bad at keeping up these logs huh? I've been writing on my personal one and on a social media site about our happenings and progress as a system. I slowly stopped posting or writing as much. It's a hobby I need to get into again. 2020 is almost over and I have over 60 entries within our own private log. It's like looking at baby photos of your system. We changed so much over the year, and discovered so much about our system. Honestly its... kinda overwhelming.

 

Maybe I'm overreacting, but its hard to think about how my system might be here when I'm older. I'm still a teenager, so my life is just getting started. I dunno, I'm still in that "Am I crazy? Is this just a really drawn out phase? Will they disappear eventually?" the last question is what I worry about the most. I bring it up to C sometimes and he says that he'll stay as long as he needs to. C has been extremely patient with me over the year. I've been healing from my trauma, slowly, and uncovering things about what might've happened to me in my past. We've all learned to work together and tolerate each other through all the mess that I call my life. 

 

Considering we've mostly been keeping to ourselves, we've been doing pretty good on our own. Our members adopted roles, front in a certain patterns, and have frequent meetings to discuss things happening in our system. I like feeling organized, and honestly I think that'll be the death of me.

 

I just needed to get this all out somewhere.

Questioning ourselves and our diagnosis might not be the best thing to think about right now. I'm trying to take it easy. 

 

I stopped trying to force myself into places where I thought we could be accepted and instead just went with the flow and hung out wherever we pleased (not to say we invade places we aren't supposed to be in). Our system does seem to be formed from trauma, but I feel comfortable in tulpamancy spaces due to my own uncertainty and attachment to the community. I have this sense that I don't belong in other plural communities,and I'm glad this site is around for us to still go to when we feel unsure of ourselves.

 

I know this was kinda venty, sorry bout that. I think I enjoy posting more of my personal thoughts here.

 

If anyone wants to talk personally via messages I'm here. I'd love to make some buds.

not dead yet

 

 

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  • 6 months later...

6 / 9 / 21

 

Things change a lot huh? I'm kinda disappointed I didn't keep up posting here, but I know if it did it would've turned into a mess so *shrug* maybe when I get over myself and stop feeling cringy I'll read back on my logs again. I'm gonna have to anyway if I wanna understand how things were back then. it turns out I miiiight (most likely) ((definitely)) have a dissociative disorder or dissociative symptoms that are connected with my system, and thats basically all I learned over the past 2 years.

 

I was talking with C yesterday about what it was like when he and Terra first came here. When this whole tulpa thing had finally hit me and I thought that this was what I was experiencing. it seemed perfect honestly, and I was happy that I finally found something I could relate to with a bunch of people I could relate to. but yknow, stuff happened and I realized a lot of things.

 

I was talking to C and while we were reminiscing I told him that I was regretful that things weren't so happy and positive as I thought they were in the beginning. he then told me he wasn't proud of the reason that he was here, and he felt the same. he wanted to be here for positive reason. he poured his heart out for a while and I just felt so sad hearing it.

 

I told him that he, and everyone else in our system, is here for a reason. I've done a lot of pushing away from them for 2 years but I think during May I realized that all we have now is our affinity, and what happened in the beginning isn't what we're experiencing now. and thats okay.

 

so, now I try not to yearn for or hate what we had in the beginning, because things are surely a lot different now. I'm just glad that I can look at C and Terra (and possibly Memory) and be happy that they've grown so much and gotten stronger with me. and most of all be happy that they're still here even after all we been through.

not dead yet

 

 

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6/13/21

 

wow it has been a very, very long time since I posted here. I honestly forgot this thing existed. I feel like we're all doing pretty well considering our current circumstances. we have a therapist that actually believes us and a host that believes themselves. I don't wanna jinx it but, I'm genuinely happy. if I can, I'll interject with more posts of my own :)

 

host has been working on self hypnosis some. Terra has been getting involved with it too. I know very, very little about hypnosis but it seems interesting.

 

goodbye now 

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