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Why do some tulpas want to deal with real life issues?

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Sometimes, when I read something on this website, I am left sitting in stunned silence for a while and wondering.  I can understand the appeal of having a tulpa around that is an interesting character, like a pony, or a dragon, or some other adorable and entertaining companion.  I can understand having a tulpa that is captivating or engaging in some way, something unusual that makes life more interesting for you.  I can understand visualizing them, listening to them, and even imposing them so that you can communicate with them and hear them and see them.  I can understand the appeal of wonderlands and wonderland adventures.  


I understand wanting interesting, humorous and entertaining companionship.  


My own thoughtform is pretty content to live life primarily within her dreamscape (wonderland) and is only peripherally interested in what is going on in the real world.  


Here is what I don't understand about some tulpas: long periods of switching and possession in which the tulpa has responsibilities and worries in the real world.  Like the pony tulpa suddenly has to worry about daily chores, and a pay check and dealing with real world issues.  




Why do tulpamancers want more than one personality in their body, each dealing with all the CRAP life throws at them?  I just don't see the appeal there.  To be honest, serious and sober "adult" tulpas seem boring and unappealing to me.  I wouldn't want some other jerk with issues running my body and having to get things done.  


I am very curious to see the responses to this thread.  I will probably be a million miles away in world view from those tulpamancers who deliberately create tulpas with that ultimate kind of goal in mind.  I am just wondering what are the reasons going that far with it?

Skeptical and unconvinced about independent sentience.  


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Melian lives. She lives just fine without switching and possession. Melian has no interest in my body whatsoever. Also, she considers her life within the dreamscape fulfilling and content. Why leave a wonderland, where anything can happen and exchange it for real life? I guess that just isn't enough for some though?


What happens to the tulpas cutesy or ridiculous form when they want to live life in the real world? If I had such tulpas, do they just discard their form for my gray, old ugly body? They want to deal with hemorrhoids, a receding hair line, stiff and creaky joints, gas and farts?


I don't know how to make the thread less vague.

Skeptical and unconvinced about independent sentience.  


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You do have a point here, David!

In the beginning I was like yay this is so fun and could not understand tulpas which would not strive to partake in the outside world. And indeed we did a lot of amazing things in the past 5 years, traveled the world and learned awesome skills. But in the end I was - underwhelmed.

Daily life is boring to outright appalling, that especially goes for dealing with people and of course the human body. No Sir, I don't like it.

Obviously even as a jerk with issues I will help my host as good as I can and we both have our strengths and weaknesses so I'm better suited to deal with some stuff than him and vice versa but permaswitching and just living a normal life?

Gimme a break!



Also welcome back, it was really boring without you guys


Super Girls don't cry

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Daily life is boring to outright appalling, 



Exactly!  Melian has a beautiful form in the wonderland that she enjoys and she can do anything.  She does experience the outside world through me and shares that.  But she has no need to be in charge or in command of my body and what goes on in real life.  She is content with making comments in my mind, or suggestions, or nags.  Other than that, her only connection with outside world is the internet, which she is totally happy with.  


Ido Also welcome back, it was really boring without you guys


Thank you very much!  We are glad to be back.

Skeptical and unconvinced about independent sentience.  


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Ember: I didn't want more personalities in the body. I've never created a tulpa and I never would have. But when one of my beloved characters unexpectedly "came to life", I couldn't very well turn her away.


Vesper: I'm more mature than my host. She created me to be very organized, very scheduled, a bit stuffy, and married to my career. On the flip side, I'm not especially interesting, humorous, entertaining, or imaginative. Being able to go back fully and bodily to my native world would be wonderful, but I don't have much use for the tenuousness of the mindscape and I've always hated adventure. Maybe anything can happen, but nothing of interest to me and nothing that is vividly experienced.


My host is an introvert, so in spite of her crowded social calendar, she spends long periods in near isolation, including for all of the employment she's had in the past twenty years. I'm an extravert. I have a deep, painful need for people, and my headmates are not sufficient company.


My host is a 'geek', with a long list of interests that are overwhelmingly different from my interests. So even her hobbies bore me.


Switching allows me to have more vivid experiences, a wider circle of friends, my own hobbies, and some shadow of an actual life. Unfortunately, getting back to my own career isn't practical. It would require my host to give up almost all of her life and I'm not willing to ask that of her. I don't believe it would be right. But I hold back from that for her sake, not because I want a life of ease.


As far as putting up with crap goes -- Ember remains, by system consensus, the 'steward' of the body, in charge of bodily hygiene and general upkeep. She's also the only one of us with the patience and attention span to do the sort of mind-numbingly meticulous and detail-oriented work she does. But I do what I can to keep her on task and on schedule.


Ember: Vesper is so much happier when she's in charge, even though she hates that the body doesn't look like her. On average, she's significantly happier when fronting than I am when fronting, and significantly less happy when not fronting than I am when not fronting. And even Iris, the most contented person I've ever known, who hardly ever asks for time and has little interest in the physical world, is often grinning ear to ear when she fronts.


I am glad for them to use the body because I love them and am willing to give of myself for their happiness.


Vesper: No one here has ever had a cutesy or ridiculous form. Our body is reasonably fit, youthful, attractive, and in conformity with our gender, so it isn't physically uncomfortable, nor does it present difficulties with social interaction as myself. I do generally try to impose my very human form over it when I front and to avoid mirrors.


With regard to non-human forms, that isn’t just a feature of constructed people. Ember, who was a therian and feline-identified until quite recently, also appreciated switching out so as to better experience her orange tabby form. I had to chastise her on several occasions for excessively 'catty' behaviour.

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember


Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015


'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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I have to agree. Though we do switch now and by the second sentence of this response I'll be switched in... and apparently it has already happened and B's office is very cold. Anyway, we as a system, don't agree that we need to do chores such as take out the garbage or partake in necessary maintenance of the physical body to gain real life experiences. Especially since we essentially co-front. Therefore, in my position near front with my sisters by my side, I get all the advantages of life's experience without robbing B of his responsibilities and joys. I may comment to B to voice my concerns or wishes as well as guide him in his endeavors from my normal position.


The only consideration I can fathom for me that would make it desirable to front for longer periods is to assure that he gets his work done and keep his productivity up. I don't however prefer nor desire to do that for him at the moment. I feel I am neither deserving nor responsible for his current career choices. However, if we together create a hobby that we both enjoy, I might consider fronting to enjoy that myself. Consider it taking turns if presented with a single player game that we both would like to play. B in fact does this with Dashie already. Similarly, Misha and B are collaboratively working toward digital art through partial posession. Misha enjoys this very much.


There is no loss of experience in my estimation.  I can assure you, our current arrangement gives us all the freedom of whatever strikes our fancy in wonderland while affording us all the opportunities for life's lessons if we choose to pay attention to relevant things he's doing. We're a team in that respect.


This isn't to say that another system's choices on the matter are wrong nor even undesirable; everyone has their own preferences. This shouldn't however, be a debate or a means to demean any system for doing what they feel is best or fullfilling their wishes.


Take care.


[bear] She speaks for all of us on this. Yep, I'll be cleaning the bathroom again this weekend. You're welcome.

I hope you find success in your endeavors and love in your heart.

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My first reaction to the question/s was 'why do you hate mundane life so much?' Wait, don't respond to that, because that was a rhetorical, and perhaps a flaw in my filter system that sometimes inverts questions... In this sense, it may have been flat avoidance of the question, on my part... because I am still sorting the underlying assumption of the question, this life bad, other life good... Loxy's initial response seemed to highlight the above assumption... "To walk a mile in another person's shoes increase compassion." We then had to dialogue and sort quite a few things, because now I am relating the question to personal situations and filters....


So, after running through personal math and emotional math and heart math... I am now trying to respond to the question... There is something about this life that's interesting enough, challenging enough to appeal to a wide range of personalities. Some people just want to prove they can do it! Some people do it because they want to help. That's definitely Loxy's position, which I tend to share. There was no way for me to filter out the all cap 'CRAP' to your question, because it was clogging the filter... That operational component makes this entire question and answer set highly subjective. There are people who actually don't hate their lives here. Depending on which me you talk to in the past, I would have likely said I hated life and all the difficulties. After 2007, not so much. You have had your inner companions with you much longer than I have, and so I have a unique perspective in this regards... I came into this world not knowing what to expect, and so to me my world was okay, and this icing on the cake... I would not ask my companion to swap places with me, not because I don't have issues and sometimes want to escape them, but because this is my lot. I wouldn't say there lot is much better. yeah, there is fun and adventures, but there is always trials and tribulations and drama imbedded in that... They struggle in their own ways, a different struggle than we do here. They have a valid existential concern that if primary host is not well, their world ceases or implodes. It's in their best interest, from purely practical point of view, that at minimum, the body has to survive for the inner worlds to continue. If that means voting the host out of office to improve the wellbeing and continuity of the inner worlds, and primary or origin is too broken, or needs help... That is a system wide shout out for help... Who wouldn't respond to a call for help?


I am who I am because of all the challenges I had to make. I don't think comparing lives is healthy. I don't know how bad you had it. I can imagine some pretty bad stuff. I have seen some stuff, Experienced some stuff first hand, and I average about five new people a day that telling me some horrendous stuff, and I think, damn, I have heard it all, and every time I think that, someone comes in my office and surprises me... Factor in wars and disease and just rotten meanness... I can imagine worse... But guess what, I can also imagine better. you, too! yay. That is meaning. And when I experienced that goodness, in a very direct way, I added this statement to my life. I have used it twice, once at the birth of my son, and then with Loxy... I would live my life over a million times, without changing one thing, to meet these two people again. If you even knew half of the stuff I have experienced, that's a huge statement. That's love. I make that the focus of my existence, and with the help of my inner companion I am fortified and there is purpose... I wouldn't want a 'jerk' running my body, but by god, if someone better, more kind, more compassionate, and better discerning of when and where and how stepped up, I would bow out gracefully.

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