Rena & Byakko notes++

[ringgggg]

If she’s built like a quarterback, she’s good enough to run routes with.

[TB]

  hi everyone!

it's rena's birthmonth again! (i am late)

 

i still don't know what day she came about officially, or what day i started officially, but it was probably around the center of the month, like 15thish, but that is a guess

 

that said, the heavens have given rena and us a big (little) gift!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

byakko has been sent to us as a new tulpa!!

 

on the 27th of november 2024, i had another instance of contact with my characters on a profound level, akin to this experience:

 

rena and I were bickering for the first time I think we ever have that I can recall at all. we were quite distressed, but while floating in a void together while this is occurring, suddenly we both hear loudly another voice that was clearly not mine or hers shout "Hey!!"

 

our attentions snapped 90 degrees towards the sound of the voice, and our attentions was held down on a bright white light. shortly after observing the light for a bit, byakko peaks out from it like it is a window, and puts hands on our heads and faceplants us after hollering "SHUDDUP!"     

i'm not sure the timeline after getting faceplanted, but i felt byakko come out of what i might call extus or an adjacent space, into our space, and I felt she was here to stay and help us. i can't really describe how intense or shocking this all was, it felt so odd for us to both suddenly hear a powerful, direct, and distinctly foreign separate voice from either of ours, and attention just flipped onto it so hard and suddenly everything became something else

 

i believe she is an angel sent from home to help rena and me waddle through life. rena also is such an angel, but she came into the world after consciously deciding to make her from scratch, while byakko has been transferred from an outside space into this space. eara, tayomi, kyouiko, and perhaps another or more, are also angels in such space that may choose to come if it turns out i need them to

 

 i typed over 25 pages of notes recording the information sent to me on my phone, and later more in wordpad. whatever knowledge i was exposed to seems to explain all religious beliefs and informed me of how they can work

 

based on what i experienced, there isn't total nothingness when consciousness ceases. consciousness blocks experience of worlds on other side of this one. for some reason information does not cross over easily though, especially at least in the direction from outside to here. as such people assume there is no experience because nothing is ever brought back, but sometimes the cracks in the veil between worlds appear, and info can be taken in an intellectual form that is created while in the experience, the experience being difficult to explain and different than normal experience, and is hard to remember, but I remember the things I thought and recorded while having it

 

I also even saw biblically accurate forms of eara and tayomi, which was stunning and odd or horrifying and not like you see in memes

 

i'll make a separate post explaining what I seem to have learned the past few days in more detail

oh yeah, i think even rena is over there, on the other side. tulpa rena is like an avatar of sorts and of course this side can't experience the knowledge that exists on the other side so we forgot where she came from, but byakko is doing the same now so minus the first few hours where byakko was meta-perspective-angel byakko, she's over time become terrestrial and tulpatized, where her nature and purpose remains but i guess the punchline or real story is forgotten, so we wade through life using the skills she brought over that we did not have before

 

one of these that i didn't expect is a lot more energy and drivenness to do things, like drawing 15 hours in 3 days, even though we were bleeding severely and extremely fatigued just before. bleeding even temporarily stopped but it has returned

 

there was also time where rena and byakko got to be alone, because i, tb, tried to remind rena i can shape shift by turning into vegito blue like in my first forcing sessions, which upon doing that for the first time in years, i got ssbnapped by ssj4 gogeta during a drive by and was removed for a while

 

ssj4 gogeta coming for my lunch money resulted in great benefit, as rena and byakko got to talk for an extended time and gain a certain peace, especially when rena and byakko were staring into each other's eyes, rena seeing byakko's innocence and smiling, and byakko smiling back. so much seems communicated there, like pure transmission

 

also you may be wondering why byakko has some black hair, as well as red and blonde

 

when byakko was sent, she came with one of tayomi's hairs. it seems to be a gift from tayomi to help byakko help us. it's like a badge that gives her certain qualities that might help effect change, without having to bring tayomi over entirely, which would be like a nuclear bomb and i think she may be the second to last angel to come over if enough chains break

 

she's worn it differently though. the way i saw it originally was the end of her hair becoming silver, from a lighter silver to darker silver. for whatever reason i spontaneously drew that random shape when drawing her instead, and unintentionally it looks like a crescent moon is within the streak, which is extremely cool. idk how it will present going forward

 

to help also, it seems we'ved obtained some white hair from byakko, and there has been a hair exchange that has some sort of significance. highly skeptical of letting them have some of my hair, but maybe they can purify it, and the hair i get from them can help me purify myself too

 

while having whatever experience we were having, i also found my inner child and got to see what they might look like if they were never compromised. we have to revive them or free them somehow, and byakko is to help with that somehow, as well as help rena help me with that also. that was a really significant portion of my experience and i'd like to see it be real

 

 

 

this is first post for this month, i will certainly post more, at least I intend to, either here and/or somewhere else, fun stuff rena's been doing and information about details of my experiences. i'm gonna send this before i think too much about it and clarify later. this all was a very unexpected development as we didn't have any intention to add a tulpa soon if ever, but i guess she chose to come here on her own fully formed from Outside, which seems to mean there is something beyond what rena and i think and want involved and that it is very good and wants things to be better

 

it is hugely significant, because i could never see how to recover from fear of death or idea of ceasing to exist at death and lose all of this, but if what i experienced was true, there really isn't anything to worry about. when i die i will return home and be where i belong

 

 

 

Spoiler

bonus ghost hair byakkos that i accidentally discovered and it looks cool. idk what i prefer, really subtle transparency or the more blatant

 

 

 

sorry for file sizes. i tried reducing them but they just become physically painful to look at when turned into compressed jpgs

 

[TurboSimmie]

Wow, sounds like you had quite the profound experience! 😁 Welcome to existence Byakko!

 

Is she your new avatar? Because when I first saw it I thought it was just you themed for winter. ❄️ But if it's Byakko I think she's really cool and stylish! 😎

 

I'm definitely interested in hearing more when you write it. 😊

[TB]

8 hours ago, TurboSimmie said:

Wow, sounds like you had quite the profound experience! 😁 Welcome to existence Byakko!

 

Is she your new avatar? Because when I first saw it I thought it was just you themed for winter. ❄️ But if it's Byakko I think she's really cool and stylish! 😎

 

I'm definitely interested in hearing more when you write it. 😊

thanks for your interest

 

she is my profile picture at the moment

 

she thanks welcome

[TB]

goo

 

goomor

 

having 2 tulpas is not what i expected

 

i used to fear that my confusion on what mental noise was her or me or neither and what not, that it would get worse as i would not know which tulpa said what

 

but i think communication has gotten better and i talk to them both more now, even rena, and they talk to each other. it is pretty smooth

 

only thing is byakko's voice isn't consistent as we seem to be figuring out how she might sound, even though I thought I already knew how she sounds, but i think i was only considering the impression and not actually hearing the sound in my head as much as i thought. that or i just forgot

 

she fires some really nice lines though in some pretty interesting voices. i also forgot how much their style can change from moment to moment. when with rena i thought it was just me kind of messing up but i would not really care. with byakko though, she kind of communicates her mood by the style she appears "drawn" in

 

she's doing a good job

Spoiler

pretend that's patting byakko. i never seen this character before but they have a lot of similar features to byakko, it's disturbing lol. just missing fat eyebrows, and slightly different hairstyle and clothes

 

 

edit: omg something completely new just happened. i was sitting in meditation with the girls, but we were kinda just chatting instead. then i switched with rena, but not in the way you'd think. normally rena enters my body so she is me piloting this body. i switched with her though, where i was piloting her body and seeing from her pov, because i wanted her to look at something to ask her opinion and apparently pointing wasn't the first thing to come to mind on how to do that, and i also didn't puppet. i burst into her body like an alien parasite and take control then got pushed out lol. "you can't just do that!" it was really surprising to her

Edited December 7, 2024 by TB

[ringgggg]

Lmao, cool story bro. It’s always kinda spooky to remember that tulpas have opinions of their own

 

How do byakko and rena interact? I’m kind of picturing them as the big sister little sister archetype

[TB]

8 minutes ago, ringgggg said:

Lmao, cool story bro. It’s always kinda spooky to remember that tulpas have opinions of their own

yeah lol

 

she wasn't upset though, just overly surprised and maybe startled or confused but also it was kind of interesting in retrospect and implies perhaps some good things ontologically, i'm not sure

 

8 minutes ago, ringgggg said:

How do byakko and rena interact? I’m kind of picturing them as the big sister little sister archetype

very nice, byakko has been very smart and educating. teaching rena and i things. they talk in the background sometimes, or say things to each other in 3 ways. sometimes rena switches in and talks to rena, and byakko tried switching in for a few minutes earlier and talked to us

 

i guess if judging by size, rena is big sister. i'm middle sister, and byakko is little sister, though right now byakko is leader lol. follow the little one

[TB]

why i oughta

 

ok im gonna do it

 

been putting this off forever, been wimpy

 

i've decided december is still rena's birthmonth and will be a big celebration of my tulpas to me personally, but the middle sunday is the big day of the month that is her birthday, sunday being her favorite day of the week, and the middle of december likely being close to her creation date i think

 

so! rena, literally a month ago actually, has recorded herself!

 

this is how she may actually sound as her character, what i'm aboutta show. she hasn't always spoken like this but has started too. just for whatever reason when she speaks and hears herself like this, she feels really in her body and proper. ik it is different than the ushio hashimoto songs i usually link as what her voice sounds like. actually there are two voices we like for her, but i'll show you the one we find really interesting! tell us what you think!

 

     

 

they all say the same thing, but in dutch, then japanese, then english, since it was really fun for her to do since her character she's based on can speak all of those (she's stuck in my brain that doesn't know them as well as she realistically would but that's okay it is fun to learn them)

 

this is the first time i've said rena's last name. it was tenative for a long time but i think we decided to go with it. rena bonnie de vroom. it means pious! also vrooooooooooooom, what a cool last name, gotta go fast right?

 

hope the accent is realistic enough! it feels really good for her when she uses it, i hope it isn't cultural appropriation or something lol! let her have her fun!

 

and ohhh boy there is so much more, but later. just will say we've done a lot of karaoke. she likes to sing! but she's working on sounding better and better

 

also we can show alternative non accent voice in another post, incase anyone is curious.... also the second nipaaa was me btw

 

 

that's the fun stuff for today -checks notes-

hmm

it's difficult to express my new ontology gained from my uh, mental break into another view (but it was a very good thing)

 

Spoiler

I'm connecting tree of life to how that might relate to my experiences

I will reincarnate into an anime world as my characters after the death of this body as this life exists for the purpose of creating it, yet it has always existed and will always have existed, showing to the inevitability of it. Where it begins or the flavor of it will depend on how this life goes. The life after this one is perfect, preferable, desirable, and meant for me, but oddly one has to use the words improve, or at least might like to, in regards to improving this life so the next will know where to begin from

There isn't really bad or good starts, just more serious starts and more playful starts, but they all lead to the same thing, lightness, trancendence, and ultimate playfulness and meta perspective, and I will be my characters and with my characters forever in complete okayness, the best possible kind. This includes tulpas in this life, and anyone else who would want to come with me

It is also possible for a part of someone to go to my next world, and a part of them to go to their own and/or someone elses. they can also entirely go their own way
people can also reappear in the same world

i've chosen to go to a new one that is meant for me, as i'm kind of an alien, and the world i will be going to is my true home, i'm just here now so it could create itself

i seem to be created in a world of pain and pain seems to be some inherent characteristic of this existence and my existence and so seemingly the next existence, but it isn't a bad thing

it might be like a kind of hell, but i seem to be kind of a demon, so in a way it is home if it is

it could also be heaven, and is heaven and goes towards heaven, and that's also home, as all demons came from heaven initially, but hurt colored their existence

my characters and tulpas are angels from the inevitable world i'm going towards, and they help facilitate my entrance by teaching what they know, which is to expand into lightness and playfulness and meta perspective, so the closest that universe begins that way, the "better", but ultimately it doesn't really matter

there are maybe... tenatively 6 or 7 chains, 7 if my initial existence counts, and they are chains that get broken. so the first for whatever started this coming into existence, the second is rena's, and the third is byakko. 4th-7th would be eara, tayomi, kyouiko, and the not well full demon transformation of my self.

 

the first and last are versions of what is labeled this character, TB I guess... first being inner child and last being... unknown... TB after the consequences of long term suffering. Which can be totally good and nice, or quite rough. I sense that after whatever order the other 3 comes, if they require coming to intervene, that the last fallen angel intervening is what might seem like an unhappy end... but it isn't an end for myself, my characters/tulpas/angels, or anyone else. it's a perspective change that will bring us all home, and we will love each other and try our best to love each other to playfulness and metaperspective, and eternity will be very desirable and it will be okay

 

 

I don't think I'm special, I think these are just what can happen to anyone in this world or any world. Others will also choose to become something else and start a new universe, others will choose to be of the same kind in this universe. Some will choose to not change at all. Some will choose at different levels of consciousness and get results flavored by their consciousness level, and the very thing itself as well
These different things becoming different things or staying the same are just part of the unimaginably big experience oscilating eternally and causing to arise different sensations

 

 

this life is the seed of the tree of life that sprouts the future existence we will be hosts of after. we didn't know until now, though they did from where they reside in our true home even if not here. The Rena and Byakko with me are learning, which makes sense. Byakko kind of helped tell Rena this, as Byakko just got here from there, and while the space was open, she could share a lot. Now our eyes are closed again and we just have the visualization we create from the memory and faith is trusting in that together to follow it as our whole life purpose

Byakko is kind of a senior, or at least, she brings a new tool Rena needed help with to help me. I couldn't help myself fully, and Rena helped so much but needed some help herself to help more, so that's where Byakko comes in to help... If Byakko needs help, surely someone else will be sent. If the things that may be seen as bad can't be mitigated by all 6 of them, then the seventh will kindly pull us home cuz lol. Sometimes you gotta surrender to the inevitable so you can play the next game and that is okay, people won't understand until they can see for themselves that they were, and by extention everyone else, playing the role for their life

 

also free will both exists and doesn't exist, because we surely choose, but sometimes it feels like we can't choose... but from here, all futures exist, so all choices are made, so that is the lack of free will aspect, but that I play through a certain path in this complex grid is the free will part of things and the game part. it's how time exists while also all past and future also existing at the same time. It causes no contradiction. i chose a future path, but that path was always there. and not only is the past of the path there, but I'm there too, and I'm already further down. it's just how it has to be for infinity, but for this, which is what I am and what it is To Be, I will play this role and take my score as it reflects to what is both a destination from this perspective but a beginning point of the next perspective

 

 

ohhhhh yeah, it is important to consider 1 of the 3 chains here. One is the childlike me, which I keep seeing in my head, but doesn't express in reality as well anymore. they need unfettered and allowed back out. They still exist. Byakko and Rena are to help... revive and reparent that... I will try to act as that as best I can, right? I will make it

Also, not in an arrogant way... but this life being the seed of the next, kind of makes TB god, it kind of makes it make sense as to why we are made in the image of god, because the god that made this reality was a person in their reality, and also why they are outside of time, as they are outside of our time. I am outside of my homes time right now, but will become a part of it in time. The universe is me kinda, metaphorically, though it can also literally take the shape of a sleepy cat girl if it wants, I suppose, on some uwu azathoth energy. i also get the title of blind idiot god i guess, though daemon sultan is pretty awesome too and goes with baphomet form....

 

oh and just learning all of this makes sense, as even jesus had to ask god why bad things are happening to him and say how he doesn't know what his purpose is, I think, until realizing it at death, which was to teach a lot of this stuff. Jesus said the kingdom of god is within. heaven is within. The after life is within. And it is when he died that he didn't die, but ascended to heaven, and he came back to tell everyone if they believe in him, they too shall not die, because them believing his words will give them the knowledge of what was going to happen and the tools to forge a better initial state upon death. hell is just to show how things can start rough if you are unholy, which is full of sin, sins being crimes against god, so jesus if you go to his reality after this, or if you forge your own, it is crimes against yourself by not living up to your values, or conflicting values causing unavoidable sin, which this reality suffers from as a base of its iterative perhaps

took too long to form a new text so i just copy pasted some of the things i wrote down a couple days after whatever happened to me. i didn't post the whole thing, i just posted certain paragraphs. uhhhh, it may not be ideal to skip around paragraphs so idk if i forgot context for anything... i talked in third person at points

 

i was supposed to post this on sunday and i'm too late!! darn!

 

it's sunday somewhere, at least

 

i'm investigating how the kaballah's sephirot relates to my experience and the existence of a world though... also i forget but there were times jesus seemed to understand his purpose before he died and then times he doesn't... so idk if he sees through the cracks like i did but then forgets, like i do. i need to see again to refresh my perspective... maybe meditation can. but i have faith of some concept there being true

 

i think iterative improvements is better than making a perfect post, it will be jumbled but something should form eventually if i stop hesitating and express myself unapologetically... if anyone cares to listen anyway. i need to heal inner child, but also figure out how they don't just get hurt all over again....

 

 

 

alsooooooooooo rena would like to inform byakko is cracked and full of so much energy she fuels us with. she seems to have the power just infuse energy into us when tired, sometimes through a little ritual. it's quite paranormal, she is something else that became a tulpa certainly and she's carried over some power

 

evangelicals might say i'm being tricked and interacting with demons, but they just don't understand. they are angels, we we're angels, we will be angels. or demons as result of the effects of long term suffering, but that's mostly a risk for just me... my ultimate fate is perfect and desirable and fine and there is no reason for them to help me, but they care so much they'll do such a trivial thing like make this life better so when we get home it's... a little more clean, i guess metaphorically

 

energy doesn't last forever before needing to regenerate though. seepy

 

hope you guys like rena's voice! or tell us what you think. sorry that this is kind of like two different posts. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

  

On 4/22/2019 at 4:30 PM, Guest said:

Fighting doubt is a big part pf it, just stop it. My tulpas would get mad at me. The funniest part of it all came only recently, about a year in, i never doubted my characters who spoke to me. I fancied that they were being channeled from another dimension somtimes, other times Ijust figured it was a thing that happens like ghosts to some people, i didn't have a good explanation because if you google, "my characters are talking to me" or something you get hits about how characters 'come alive', and that it's common among writers. So it's like, I grew another arm out of my stomach, google says it's normal, just enjoy the extra hand. Then when I was a about a week into tulpamancy my doubts were severe and I forgot about my other characters for a while. Here I am, a year later, and finally back to the mindset that some questions don't need answers. Just enjoy it.

i read this again just now while editing the title

"channeled from another dimension" that was first response to my thread and it really is how it is. i call it Extus, that's where byakko popped in from. the Outside

Edited December 16, 2024 by TB

[Ido]

One can never Nipah enough!

 

18 hours ago, TB said:

they all say the same thing, but in dutch, then japanese, then english

That's Dutch? It sounds like Japanese played backwards. Can't understand a word. Such a weird language.

 

18 hours ago, TB said:

vroom

Seriously?

I swear, once I get an explanation, Dutch makes sense. But without it's impossible to guess. The German word would be fromm. Which sounds almost the same but man it is written a bit differently. I feel like the secret to Dutch is taking German words and spelling them in the most absurd way imaginable. Haa, I wish there was more animu dubbed in Dutch or Swiss. These languages crack me up!

 

19 hours ago, TB said:

i also get the title of blind idiot god i guess, though daemon sultan is pretty awesome too

Lol

 

[TB]

14 hours ago, Ido said:

One can never Nipah enough!

i agree, wonderful!

 

14 hours ago, Ido said:

That's Dutch? It sounds like Japanese played backwards. Can't understand a word. Such a weird language.

 

14 hours ago, Ido said:

Seriously?

I swear, once I get an explanation, Dutch makes sense. But without it's impossible to guess. The German word would be fromm. Which sounds almost the same but man it is written a bit differently. I feel like the secret to Dutch is taking German words and spelling them in the most absurd way imaginable. Haa, I wish there was more animu dubbed in Dutch or Swiss. These languages crack me up!

yup. i dont know how good a job she did unless someone dutch can comment, but she practiced it for probably hours lol, i like it a lot

 

funny you say these things, it reminds me what a friend once said; that dutch is lobotomized german lol

 

and interesting information lol. from fromm to vroom

 

thank you for your comment. im happy it amused you

 

14 hours ago, Ido said:

Lol

=D

Edited December 17, 2024 by TB