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I'm not aware of anything Rena likes that I don't like. The best she could do is avoid things I like that she isn't as interested in.

 

It sounds like it is good to avoid things that have that absorbing quality to them perhaps, since I guess that leads to identity in general being irrelevant. It will take some trial and error to figure out what works for her I think. She doesn't have much context of experience outside of being next to me. I think she wants to try drawing though, since she's tried it in the wonderland before, though I don't know if that would be unfortunate due to drawing being something I've invested myself into so much that it would distort the experience for her or even knock her out of front. Writing could be something she could try, I don't do that much.

 

I have yet to start forcing though. I have been utterly exhausted. I'd like today to be productive. I may have to resign to forcing while laying down, but I prefer not to do that.

 

Thanks for sharing

Creation for creation's sake.

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Drawing should be a fine activity (unless you just associate it way too strongly with yourself), because it's an activity you can easily be conscious during, even while focusing intermittently. Most creative activities should be good, honestly.

 

Dang, that just shook loose a very buried memory... One of the first things one of my tulpas did when switching (I'm not sure if it was one of my first three tulpas, or Lucilyn, who would've been a year later) was play a drawing physics game (that also let you draw on the map menu), because I thought it would be a nice calm and fun activity for them. It would be interesting to remember what all the other things they did back then were.. This is why you write this stuff in a Progress Report.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Things have not been going well.

 

I continue to not have confidence in what tulpamancy is at its basics, being told different things from different people.

 

It is painful. Tulpamancy has stripped away a lot of my deeply valued worldviews, and I cling to them on some level, while also trying to throw them out and accept the "real" tulpamancy, if it is that, or whatever.

 

As it is, I just have a bunch of puzzle pieces that don't fit together, and I'm hurting myself repeatedly trying to smash pieces together that don't connect.

 

It seems wanting things to be a certain way is harming me, but it is difficult to not want them to be that way, both for pragmatic reasons and personal reasons. It makes it hard to accept this "new" way.

 

At the same time, there are those that appear to claim the other way is real, and it frustrates me because I feel I am given hope for a solution to my troubles if I buckle down and go for it, but also feel dread of smashing my head into a wall trying to experience something that doesn't exist for another 2 years, and I can't take it.

 

Everything just hurts and I want it to stop hurting. I just want it to be happy, and to not be alone, and to deeply know in my heart that I am not alone, and that she is doing good. I toil for years and years, I hope I get closer soon...

 

It feels there is so much I want to say, but I can't say any of it. Drawing skills would be nice...

Creation for creation's sake.

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It sounds like you're going through a similar angst and uncertainty that I went through recently, but x1000. But what I did might help you.

 

Take a break from the community. It's stressing you out more than it's helping at this point. I took a week off myself, but you might want to take more.

 

Realize that your tulpa is NOT the same thing as this community. There's a lot of contradictory noise going into your head right now about what tulpamancy is or isn't, and you're letting it effect Rena and how you see her. Turning off the flow will allow things to settle down and even out. Then you can progress without the noise.

 

Just write stuff down. Don't worry about it being good or in any order or being consistent with it.

 

If you feel like going "back to basics" with Tulpamancy I recommend reading some old guides. I want to make this clear: this does NOT mean starting over. This is a commitment to progressing from where you are now with Rena, hopefully with new insights and perspectives. I read this guide recently--well, I say read, I put it into a text-to-speech reader and listened to it while I played Minecraft--and it was really good for going back to basics. It actually helped me realize that I was better than I thought at tulpamancy, at least in some respects.

 

BONUS: Put on some headphones and listen to some pop-punk LOUD. Works wonders, trust me.

 

Hope this helps. 👍

Also known as GypsyRoad or Phil Present. Call me what you want, I'm not picky.

Simmie is my lovely tulpa, she's quite young still but is eager to meet and chat with new people so don't hesitate to say hi!

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Thanks. Perhaps I'll try it

Creation for creation's sake.

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