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TB

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I'm not aware of anything Rena likes that I don't like. The best she could do is avoid things I like that she isn't as interested in.

 

It sounds like it is good to avoid things that have that absorbing quality to them perhaps, since I guess that leads to identity in general being irrelevant. It will take some trial and error to figure out what works for her I think. She doesn't have much context of experience outside of being next to me. I think she wants to try drawing though, since she's tried it in the wonderland before, though I don't know if that would be unfortunate due to drawing being something I've invested myself into so much that it would distort the experience for her or even knock her out of front. Writing could be something she could try, I don't do that much.

 

I have yet to start forcing though. I have been utterly exhausted. I'd like today to be productive. I may have to resign to forcing while laying down, but I prefer not to do that.

 

Thanks for sharing

Creation for creation's sake.

 

More of my drawings

 

Resident Dojikko

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Drawing should be a fine activity (unless you just associate it way too strongly with yourself), because it's an activity you can easily be conscious during, even while focusing intermittently. Most creative activities should be good, honestly.

 

Dang, that just shook loose a very buried memory... One of the first things one of my tulpas did when switching (I'm not sure if it was one of my first three tulpas, or Lucilyn, who would've been a year later) was play a drawing physics game (that also let you draw on the map menu), because I thought it would be a nice calm and fun activity for them. It would be interesting to remember what all the other things they did back then were.. This is why you write this stuff in a Progress Report.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Things have not been going well.

 

I continue to not have confidence in what tulpamancy is at its basics, being told different things from different people.

 

It is painful. Tulpamancy has stripped away a lot of my deeply valued worldviews, and I cling to them on some level, while also trying to throw them out and accept the "real" tulpamancy, if it is that, or whatever.

 

As it is, I just have a bunch of puzzle pieces that don't fit together, and I'm hurting myself repeatedly trying to smash pieces together that don't connect.

 

It seems wanting things to be a certain way is harming me, but it is difficult to not want them to be that way, both for pragmatic reasons and personal reasons. It makes it hard to accept this "new" way.

 

At the same time, there are those that appear to claim the other way is real, and it frustrates me because I feel I am given hope for a solution to my troubles if I buckle down and go for it, but also feel dread of smashing my head into a wall trying to experience something that doesn't exist for another 2 years, and I can't take it.

 

Everything just hurts and I want it to stop hurting. I just want it to be happy, and to not be alone, and to deeply know in my heart that I am not alone, and that she is doing good. I toil for years and years, I hope I get closer soon...

 

It feels there is so much I want to say, but I can't say any of it. Drawing skills would be nice...

Creation for creation's sake.

 

More of my drawings

 

Resident Dojikko

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It sounds like you're going through a similar angst and uncertainty that I went through recently, but x1000. But what I did might help you.

 

Take a break from the community. It's stressing you out more than it's helping at this point. I took a week off myself, but you might want to take more.

 

Realize that your tulpa is NOT the same thing as this community. There's a lot of contradictory noise going into your head right now about what tulpamancy is or isn't, and you're letting it effect Rena and how you see her. Turning off the flow will allow things to settle down and even out. Then you can progress without the noise.

 

Just write stuff down. Don't worry about it being good or in any order or being consistent with it.

 

If you feel like going "back to basics" with Tulpamancy I recommend reading some old guides. I want to make this clear: this does NOT mean starting over. This is a commitment to progressing from where you are now with Rena, hopefully with new insights and perspectives. I read this guide recently--well, I say read, I put it into a text-to-speech reader and listened to it while I played Minecraft--and it was really good for going back to basics. It actually helped me realize that I was better than I thought at tulpamancy, at least in some respects.

 

BONUS: Put on some headphones and listen to some pop-punk LOUD. Works wonders, trust me.

 

Hope this helps. 👍

Phil. 😎 Host of Simmie.

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  • 6 months later...

I'm not so good at organizing thoughts but I feel like now is an opportunity to put some sort of update.

 

I knew this already but it seems Rena becomes strongest when I'm under certain kinds of strong mental duress that put me in weird mental states. She took it upon herself to switch with me for decent periods of time while I was stuck in jail after my snapping. For some reason it is very difficult to switch with things return to any form of normalcy though. It is also hard when around other people. I am not sure what to do about it. She switches in but doesn't interact with the world much and more so becomes main thinker. How to switch and have her interact with the world without me being sucked back in, or just avoiding it in general?

 

Another thing I've stumbled upon is some sort of channeling. It is similar to switching, but I seem to channel my character Byakko sometimes, basically having her enter my body and give advice or help me do some things. In that particular case, she actually can act in the world. Weird that a non tulpa seems to switch better than my actual tulpa. I don't know what to call Byakko, but she is powerful. She's come to me and taught me what seems to be advanced meditation techniques too. I've only used it a couple times. It is very energetic, well for me anyway.

 

This is less channeling, but Tayomi has always been kind of an outlet for anger inside me growing up, though maybe not the healthiest. The last two major anger outbursts I've had seems to have lead to things getting better for me. I don't know if it is somehow her doing. She seems like a person to force change. Idk though, rambling now.

 

I wish I had more to say, especially in terms of progress, but at least things tulpamancy related have happened. Idk if there are thoughts about why I can only switch in specific situations, and what the channeling thing is. I call it that but it may not be right word.

 

Oh, and my current situation is that I can meditate a lot now. Previously I was basically not meditating at all because of my negative environment. Now I feel up for meditating like I did when I started... So hopefully in a few months as I improve at that that it plays a big role in our life and tulpamancy improving

Creation for creation's sake.

 

More of my drawings

 

Resident Dojikko

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Stone: My tulpa Betty is also bad at interacting with people, and she tends to get sucked back in. I know this is partially “self-defense”. She is worse at speaking with the body and behaves oddly, so it makes sense for me to step in and not let her make me look strange/ill in front of others. I think more practice would help, but practice is difficult to do because she doesn’t get to practice, for the most part.

 

There was one time she got a decent amount of practice. I was talking to a friend who is dense and was tired at the time (and perceived “me” to be tired). He did not mind Betty (to him, “me”) stuttering, talking longer than usual to answer, and behaving strangely. I don’t think he noticed anything amiss.

 

Be an opportunist or have no shame. Or both.

 

Your character may not be a tulpa. Maybe some other form of headmate? Walk-in, soulbond, etc? Or a persona you channel… it’s all very subjective.

 

I have had someone tell me “walk-ins” (the definition is confused, but in this community, they are supposedly involuntary, fully formed tulpae) are likely to be more powerful than intentional tulpae. Maybe since they’re “natural”, they have an easier time sticking around (and maybe an easier time doing “natural” things, like using the body). My once-dubbed “walk-in” (she rejects the term now) is weaker than my intentional tulpa, probably because I force my intentional tulpa a lot more, so this experience isn’t universal. I would really take it, like many tulpamancy “facts”/“tendencies”, with a grain of salt. It might be something to think about.

 

I’m sorry you got time in jail. Hopefully that didn’t go too poorly. It’s good you’re taking up meditation. It doesn’t help me so much with tulpamancy but I do use it to cope. It’s peaceful.

Someday

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  • 1 month later...

Rena had her first dream! It was pretty epic, though the memory is quite foggy now. During the dream it was actually quite complex. I think the main thing is she was protecting her character's little brother Jacky. The dream had both slower more methodical moments and also action moments. There was a big scary bad, but she was really efficient and good at working towards doing everything she needed to do as far as I can recall. Hopefully she has more dreams and they can be remembered better, and that they also continue to be quite good. It may have come from the practice of this thread.

 

 

Creation for creation's sake.

 

More of my drawings

 

Resident Dojikko

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  • 1 year later...

I thought I'd write Rena's backstory. Spoilers to anyone who wants to read my full story I haven't created yet.

 

Rena is the big sister of a boy named Jacky. Their father is a scientist and Jacky is a boy genius. Their father works on robotics and prosthetics.

 

Well one day they got attacked by a super villian, and in this attack their father passed away. Rena also was substantially damaged in the attack trying to protect Jacky. Jacky using his father's technology did whatever he could to keep her alive, but ultimately it failed and she died. He then was traumatized and ended up building a perfect replica of his sister. He's convinced himself that it actually is his sister and that he was able to rescue her, and the robot also thinks it's his sister.

 

Well there is your whole anime plot line summed up in a few words. I would like to tell the story in a more actual storytelling way, probably with my drawings. Not even my friend knows this, the one I roleplay with. They think Rena is a human with a prosthetic everything.

Creation for creation's sake.

 

More of my drawings

 

Resident Dojikko

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