Rena Notes

[TB]

I never thought of that

[TurboSimmie]

That's a pretty intense backstory! I'm curious how Rena herself feels about it.

[TB]

Rena kind of feels like I'm her Jacky I guess. Otherwise she doesn't believe she's her. It's a sad story to her and kind of rings close to home with the tulpamancy issues I've had. 

[TB]

I'm going to try to meditate at least  one hour, hopefully more, for the rest of the month (and in perpetuity) but at the end of the month I will hope my concentration and discipline is higher enough to start active forcing again. If I need to, I may make it 2 months. When I start forcing again I will see if there is reason enough to continue this progress report. I feel there is a lot that can happen with Rena becoming more real and powerful, and doing things like achieving the various impositions of the many senses. Here goes nothing I guess

 

I will also practice wearing different ontologies. Right now I'm a nihilistic s!@# lord with a depressing material view of the world with no magic or interest. I want to go back to how I was when I believed in the supernatural a bit and that tulpas have souls. Idk maybe that's a bad idea. I also don't know how to just change my views like that but I will try. Maybe a different ontology to any I've ever had would be good, too

Edited February 6 by TB

[harvestmoon]

Good luck! We are kinda good at conscious cognitive dissonance ngl. You probably have to be in order to willfully change your views, since there'd probably be a transition period between the two ontologies. Or maybe there's some way people can trigger a fast and hard switch. who knows

[TB]

Thanks

 

3 minutes ago, harvestmoon said:

We are kinda good at conscious cognitive dissonance ngl.

 

And what makes you good at conscious cognitive dissonance? What is that like exactly and what do you  mean? I imagine it is painful and one should just go with the truth but reality sucks the way it is

[harvestmoon]

An example would be my host believing in the supernatural and disbelieving in the supernatural at the same time. He is fully skeptical of and actively disbelieves in the supernatural and thinks things like ghosts, gods, afterlife, etc are all phony. At the same time, he can believe in an afterlife if he wants to. He can believe in an afterlife and disbelieve in an afterlife at the same time. This is different from him being unsure or him quickly switching between two ideas (note: I think people would be skeptical of this the same way people are skeptical of parallel processing). He can believe contradictory things at once and be aware of the contradiction, and his awareness doesn't break either belief.

 

It's not painful. It is weird. I think if it were painful then one of the contradictory beliefs would have to crumble. They can remain intact because the contradiction isn't painful.

 

I don't usually attempt this. I'm usually comfortable believing whatever and don't see the need to disbelieve at the same time (which I consider different from being not 100% sure). My host on the other hand wants to reap the rewards of a more opened mind without losing his skepticism. Despite me not using this trick very much I think I inspired it and I'm what powers it. I think he trusts he can compartmentalize well enough as he created me, plus I have an interest in belief alteration and memory manipulation (still too cowardly to do a real experiment). Gee, now I'm going to be thinking about that again. But anyway he created me without losing himself so I think that gave him the confidence to think he could adopt a belief without losing another contradictory one. I do think it's easier for two contradictory personalities to coexist rather than two contradictory beliefs held by the same personality (and be aware of it, since cognitive dissonance is obv pretty common), but that's just speaking from our limited experience.

 

Hopefully this makes some sense we're getting hungry LOL. Good luck I hope you enjoy ur time with Rena!!!

[TurboSimmie]

2 hours ago, TB said:

I'm going to try to meditate at least  one hour, hopefully more, for the rest of the month (and in perpetuity) but at the end of the month I will hope my concentration and discipline is higher enough to start active forcing again. If I need to, I may make it 2 months. When I start forcing again I will see if there is reason enough to continue this progress report. I feel there is a lot that can happen with Rena becoming more real and powerful, and doing things like achieving the various impositions of the many senses. Here goes nothing I guess

 

That sounds really good! Meditating for a full hour seems like a dream! Phil and I are lucky to hit 10 minutes. 😄 Good luck with imposition of the many senses! I've always felt that the more senses you can use the better! (And the sense of smell is really underrated for imposition!)

 

2 hours ago, TB said:

I will also practice wearing different ontologies

 

That sounds like a good experiment, but you know you can observe different ontologies without having to wear them! But maybe it's not enough to observe them, you have to experience them?

 

2 hours ago, TB said:

Right now I'm a nihilistic s!@# lord with a depressing material view of the world with no magic or interest. I want to go back to how I was when I believed in the supernatural a bit and that tulpas have souls. Idk maybe that's a bad idea. I also don't know how to just change my views like that but I will try. Maybe a different ontology to any I've ever had would be good, too

 

Phil was a strictly materialist thinker for many years, but even during those times there were still some non-materialist thoughts he couldn't shake. I struggle with this a bit too; on the one hand I am inclined to be materialistic, but on the other hand I'm not sure pure materialism tells the whole story or is even a healthy philosophy. Still, I think magical thinking is far more dangerous unless it is accompanied by a healthy dose of skepticism. I really don't know how to thread the needle on this one. I wish you luck! 😊

 

21 minutes ago, harvestmoon said:

An example would be my host believing in the supernatural and disbelieving in the supernatural at the same time. He is fully skeptical of and actively disbelieves in the supernatural and thinks things like ghosts, gods, afterlife, etc are all phony. At the same time, he can believe in an afterlife if he wants to. He can believe in an afterlife and disbelieve in an afterlife at the same time. This is different from him being unsure or him quickly switching between two ideas (note: I think people would be skeptical of this the same way people are skeptical of parallel processing). He can believe contradictory things at once and be aware of the contradiction, and his awareness doesn't break either belief.

 

Yeah, I feel this. I don't believe in the supernatural, yet I pray, I believe I have a soul, and think it's at least possible that our souls can be reborn in new bodies after we die. I believe with all my heart that I first met Phil before either of us existed in this physical body. With my heart. With my head I think it's impossible. Cognitive dissonance aaugh!!! 😄

 

I think TB you're going to have to make a decision as to whether you are searching for truth of searching for comfort. Because those might lead you to two different places! My host has always been a truth-oriented person and that has come at the expense of his happiness and even his prosperity. But that's just the way he's built. With you, I don't know, I can't tell you what is best. I believe we all need something to keep us hopeful, even if it's a tad bit irrational. As long as we don't lose ourselves in the irrationality.

 

Enough philosophical Simmie for today! 😄 Hopefully some of that was interesting and/or helpful to you, TB! 😊

[TB]

Thanks for the responses. We'll see what happens. If anyone else has anything to say, feel free to say it.