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Kelsey's Progress


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This is a dialogue I had with Jane and Daniel this morning. It happened while listening to a debate on YouTube. 

 

Jane: I quite like this.

 

Me: Thanks. Was that you, Jane? 

 

Jane: No, it was Richard. 

 

Me: But I don't have a-

 

Jane: Just kidding. Yes it was me.

 

Me: Ok. But we're not getting another tulpa right now.

 

Daniel: Hey.

 

Me: Is that you Daniel?

 

Daniel: No, it was Richard.

 

Me: We are not getting a tulpa named Richard right now. We just got Jane and we need to spend more time on her.

 

Daniel: Aww

 

Jane: Aww

 

Me. Look, if we do end up with a tulpa named Richard someday, it's your fault. You asked for it.

 

Jane: Ok, that's fair.

 

Daniel: Riiiiiiiiiichaaaaaaaard!!!

 

Why are my tulpas so persistent like this? This is the first time I've said no to a request for a new tulpa, and they respond by pretending to be a new tulpa.

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  • 4 months later...
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We did not get a Richard, but we did get a new tulpa named Summer of the Phoenix, Summer, Phoenix, or Nix for short.

 

As for our long absence from this forum, several months ago, or maybe a year, I joined a discord server. It was supposed to be an autism support group. One of the rules was types of people who aren't allowed to be there. One of them was people with non-traumagenic systems.

 

I asked why this was, and they said that tulpa systems are harmful to DID systems. I tried to refute that and also explained how it was helpful to me to have tulpas. They restated that it's harmful to those with DID and said that even if it's beneficial to me, it's cultural appropriation. I said that I don't believe that's a bad thing, that I'm a globalist, and that it's not cultural appropriation because I am a Buddhist (not Tibetan, but Zen, but they didn't need to know that). They said that it doesn't matter, and that if I replied again, I would be banned. So I left the server.

 

It's probably for the best anyway, because it's likely to be a toxic community if they're gonna treat tulpamancers that way, but I'm still really upset that I wasn't let in for the sole reason that I have tulpas. Maybe I shouldn't have argued about it, but the fact is that they are discriminating against people who have made certain choices regarding mental health treatment. My face is hot right now just thinking about it. I would have understood if it was a DID server, but it wasn't. It was an autism server.

 

Despite knowing that they were wrong about tulpas, I still felt guilty about it. So I took a hiatus. I have since asked multiple people with DID about it over the internet, and they were all fine with it. I dunno where the people from that server got the idea that it was bad, but they're certainly not the majority.

 

So now I'm back. I plan to keep tulpaforcing, but we have given up on switching, because it scares me to not be in control. Possession is fine because I'm still awake and can take control back at any time, but I am just not comfortable with the idea of switching.

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  • 7 months later...

Ok so my tulpas have changed their names.

Kelsey- Merida

Maria- Addison

Daniel- Scot

Teagan- Windy

Makoto- Tòrr

Sakura- Moana

Yui- Ris

Alicia- Elena

Kido- Terry

Summer- Sam

Jane- Jasmine

Akira- Lea

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One of 3 things happened last night, and I'm not sure which:

 

A) Lea split into 2 separate tulpas named Lea and Carla.

 

B) Lea didn't split and we've got a new walk-in named Carla.

 

C) Lea and Elena somehow merged into Carla, but despite having unmerged, Carla is still there.

 

Either way, Lea and the others (except Windy) want nothing to do with Carla and Carla likes to constantly tease Lea and the others (Except Windy). I don't like Carla either. Carla doesn't tease me, but she does act all snooty about me. Whatever happened, none of us (except Windy) wants to keep Carla, but Carla wants to stay. Windy on the other hand, has not experienced Carla's teasing and is quite fond of her and wants her to stay.

 

Carla did not know her name until recently. She suggested Carla as I was typing this post and we decided to run with it. She is not sure of her name and is considering changing it to Sunset. She is also considering using both, either by going by Carla Sunset or Sunset Carla. She is also considering merging both names into Carset, Sunla, Carsun, Suncar, Setla, Laset, Setcar, or Lasun.

 

When typing Lasun, autocorrect suggested Käsin. I forgot what is was soon after, but I knew it started with Kä, so I went through looking for what it could be. I found Käsin and also Lähellä, Käpylä, Kärki, Kärpät, Käveli, Kädessä, Jälkeen, Käkelä, Jälleen, Kävi, Kännykkänumero, Kännykkä, Lämmin, Lämpötila, and Kämppä. Carla wants to go through these potential names and change them a bit, both the spelling and pronunciation, and then choose one. Or 2. She wants to change it because these are Finnish words and she wants to Americanize them a bit. Perhaps add some Scottish pronunciation too.

 

At this point Carla and I are starting to like each other and her teasing is starting to calm down. Windy is elated at the idea of keeping Carla. Lea is starting to warm up to the idea and the rest have no opinion.

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