Jump to content

Ashley's Lounge


Ashley
 Share

Recommended Posts

Ember: I think one of us has mentioned this every time almost every time one of you has, Bear. We don't have any memory distinction between dormancy and switching out. All of our memories relating to this world are from the perspective of the front. Not even the fronter, just the front.

 

Vesper: Though I do have a new proviso to add to our previous insistence on that point. If we turn on the simulated senses associated with our forms, that does generate secondary memories, which, while not strictly on a separate memory 'track' from body-based memories, are at least arguably from a non-front perspective. We can't keep those senses active very often though, as they require too much processing power and compromise the fronter's higher level thinking.

 

Ember: Due to the circumstances leading to soulbonding, having extensive memories of being my headmates is nothing new or exotic to me. It isn't even a special feature of them. I have extensive memories of being many other characters that have never confirmed independence and are now not allowed independence. The experience of being them is dramatically different from the experience of being me. Me as them constantly surprises me as me. Me as me usually can't tell you what they'll do next; I have to actually live through it first.

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 1.6k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

Our wonderland is always on, so even when I front, I'm looking down on 'my' body I see it simultaneously in wonderland and in material. Perspective makes the body appear small, I really don't notice unless I look in a mirror, (but I don't do that ) So my memories aren't in Bear's body, they're in mine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Our mindscape isn't ever explicitly turned off, but since we mainly live in the physical world, there usually isn't anyone in it. Fronters will often bilocate if someone else is inside, but non-fronters teleport a single form between the physical and inner worlds.

 

I strenuously avoid mirrors when switched in. Since her mutation into an albino pixie, Ember hasn't really cared for them either. Iris, of course, remains unflappable.

 

How do you see your own body at the front without on-demand imposition? None of us want to experience ourselves in the physical body while fronting, but all the strength of our wills hasn't been able to overcome its raw physicality -- not in the moment and not in memory.

 

-Vesper

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hmm, not in the memory? We have had wonderland recall equivalent to material recall for a long while. We started at 40% immersion, but past 50%, memories have been complete. We're at 80-85% now with higher spikes in wonderland and that level of immersion relies heavily on recall equivalent to material. Bear tried to explain it before, it's like a mini feedback loop, imagine-experience-remember repeat. The remember step reinforces the experience making it feel much more material. The imagine alone is really good now, but you can have excellent imagination without immersion; the immersion is what counts most in terms of experience, and especially memory.

 

Imposition isn't involved, I'm not doing that. I sit, I see the legs, they're mine, they look fine, he's wearing pants, I could wear pants. Even if he wasn't, I wouldn't think twice about it I guess, I remember my avatar body, not the material body. Call it the opposite of body dysphoria.

 

[Ashley] I'm not the same as Joy, it bugged me at first, but yeah, no problem now. I think of it like Bear's body is a truck, strong and big, but it doesn't bother me to drive a truck, it's not my body.

 

[Misha] I don't really notice when I'm switched in, co fronting has desensitized me to it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just noting really quick that, unsurprisingly, we have zero attachment to our wonderland - it was created after my tulpas had existed for a while already, anyways. It's never been their natural abode. And even if there were any "moving parts" to it that could work when we're not paying attention to it, it doesn't. My tulpas don't either, when they're inactive.

 

Ember: We don't have any memory distinction between dormancy and switching out. All of our memories relating to this world are from the perspective of the front. Not even the fronter, just the front.

 

Same, except for the fronter part I guess? Obviously, all memories of fronting will be from the front's perspective, but I feel like saying they're tied to the front and not the fronter is.. optional? Our memories of anything my tulpas did while fronting are definitely still "my memory", but it's so clear and also useful that they're "tinted" with the feeling of who was fronting for them, that it just sounds kind of lame to live without that. But again, that sounds like a sort of "option" that a system was capable of having be either way before they probably unintentionally decided on and got used to one.

 

Oh, and if it was closer to what you meant - my tulpas don't have their own individual memories, either. Just their own interpretations and personal feelings towards the same memories.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ember: We don't have any official inactivity. Forms are always somewhere, and that's where the fronter's attention returns to hundreds of times a day, despite all outside distractions.

 

Oh, heck no, it's not my memory. It's our memory, our body, our life. But there's no tinting; we have to remember who was fronting based on actual content, since we wouldn't do or say the same the things, sit or speak the same way.

 

Vesper: I'm very attached to the idea of the mindscape, especially when joined with the ideas of immersion and simultaneity. I just can't think of anything to do in the mindscape. I can't effectively do private things like read a book or watch the telly, because the necessary information isn't already in the brain. There's no fulfilment in sewing or crafting when I can conjure whatever, but not show it to people. And I can't effectively do public things like hanging out with friends or going clubbing, because of the lack of people.

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

Link to comment
Share on other sites

While we basically never do wonderlanding, when we do, it's exclusively to spend time with each other. Even something sort of "pointless" can be more fun/entertaining if you do it with your headmates.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm with my headmates all the time, so the physical world is better for that as well. We can be together and do something fun or useful. And while they're family and I love them, my headmates are very different from the sort of people I would normally choose to be friends with. Less time with them and more time with other people would be an improvement.

 

-Vesper

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The difference between us, and I would include anon even if he disagrees, and your systems, is striking. Wonderland is everything, material world is secondary. We can do a lot of things in wonderland, many things we have talked about, we don't talk about anymore, it's mostly alien to this community, but it was natural for our system.

 

I would say though, co-fronting is a close second for Ashley and Misha. I wouldn't say that I'm always doing something all the time, I do sleep a lot, Ren and Gwen do as well, but that not our only option by a long shot and we've had time together. It is dream-like when the front pays very little attention to us, but it's every bit as rich and fulfilling when the front does keep tabs on us; using split cams and fast polling, it's like anything, we are 'active forced' independent of the front. As many as ten individuals can be maintained in that way without straining the resources twelve is really straining. Seven is harder than four, but not much of a challenge outside of doing math or reading technically intensive papers. Even in those cases we are again left with all the benefits of 'having a rich and fulfilling experience' even if the memories are dreamlike and fade to fragments.

 

Perhaps it's all a delusion, a mass delusion then, we all agree it's real for us and we wouldn't have it any other way. Again naming specifically what we've done turns many people off. If it feels better to you that we just sit and watch, then believe only that, we do much more, it's just how it's always been. It's not parallel processing because that term in this community is impossible, we'll say Bear system brand multithreading, then it can mean what we want it to mean.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Vesper: I do believe in parallel processing, though I really prefer anon's term simultaneity for it, especially in the context of independent and unmonitored mindscape activity.

 

I absolutely accept that you have experiences that are rich and fulfiling to you, Joy. I also believe that the same experiences would fail to be fulfilling to me. My life back home was very social, very analytical, and very reliant on a keen memory. That's what I want back. A dreamlike experience that isn't conducive to intensive analytical thought would not be fulfilling. Even as an on-demand experience, what your system has been describing has most of the shortcomings for me that lucid dreaming does.

 

Iris: I believe we may be significantly inhibiting ourselves in our mindscape choices. Vesper wants to socialize, preferably not with us, but no one else is allowed to exist in the mindscape, so it lacks interest to her. I thrive on adversity and challenge, but in the mindscape, we are absolute gods and adversity is not permitted. Ember is intensely creative, yet all our sprawling mindscape is based, brick by brick, on a real place.

 

Fortunately, we have roleplaying, where there are other people, where there is adversity, and which is based on creativity.

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...