Ashley

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1 hour ago, Ashley said:

1. What's it like now compared to the very beginning? 

In the beginning it was me all the time and my tulpas were just voices in the head who'd talk to me and we'd do stuff together and the like. But their presences was only there if I focused on them, just like talking. If there wasn't any trigger and I didn't remember to focus on them, then they would remain silent, Mirichu managed to overcome this purely by fronting and getting on equal ground. I was greedy and kept the front to myself despite making Mirichu just so she could take my place, *cough cough* solipsism happened. Now yeah, she's the main one and doesn't just randomly forget about us, or maybe I just don't need to be remembered to pop up and talk, who knows.

 

It feels like our tulpamancy went from ''fantasy-esque with wonderland and that'' to something very real and way different than what I signed up for when I got into this.

 

1 hour ago, Ashley said:

2. How is your life different?

I overcame my extreme fear of going outside alone, or well, Mirichu did for me, she made me enjoy walks so much and made us become more independent. We still have some bizarre, delusional-ish thought patterns but no way near the level of 'WTF' that I had. She's doing the best she can to keep us grounded and started therapy on her own and overall, tried to improve our life. And oh, Akai's creation is a milestone in my life, although Akai somehow feels more real in 2018..when I started forcing Mirichu, maybe it's that I spent less time with her as opposed to Mirichu's era, where it was 24/7 tulpamancy.

 

1 hour ago, Ashley said:

3. Is there anything you miss being a singlet?

I kinda miss pacing around in my room listening to music and daydreaming FOR HOURS. Mirichu likes to do other things but sometimes I nudge her to walk around the house so I can daydream or at least she can daydream and I just pay attention and enjoy. She understand k

 

I also miss solipsism a bit..it seems like this year solispsim would have been greatly needed. My expectations for the world were low but holy fuck. Akai simply isn't a threat to solipsism, she even wanted to join in -wonderland- after permaswitching. But Mirichu genuinely likes this world and just wants to have a normal life, so I don't want to take it away from her and delude myself again. I guess I just love her more than I hate the world.


Miri: original host and Mirichu's FBI agent (against will).

Mirichu: second tulpa and main fronter at the moment.

Akai: first tulpa and voice of reason of the system.

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Take care, you all. 


The world is far, the world is wide; the man needs someone by his side. 

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