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I don't know if it's similar enough to what you're alluding to but I definitely struggle with emotional stunting due to repression, self-doubt, toxic self-deprecation, etc. Basically an idealization of humility and stoicism taken to too far. I've never felt comfortable "being myself" for fear of judgement or social conflict. There's things about me that are pretty tame relative to the internet but would scandalize me to my family and coworkers. Tulpamancy itself, let alone being in a marriage with my thoughtform is nutters bananas to most people. So I sympathize with inner struggles and the shittiness of Reddit.

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦Dain and Nova

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

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6 hours ago, Ido said:

Hmm, isn't it merely a natural reaction to an increasingly hostile environment? A very human thing to do. Needless to say you're right - such primitive and ultimately pointless emotions cannot be tolerated. But what to do?

 

We also hypothesize it is more likely developmental and natural but because we have the source code of introspection and are otherwise awakened to changes in self as well as the means to compare and change self, this type of thing doesn't get out of hand. Under this hypothesis, it's fun to consider what it is, how it formed, and what to do with it.

 

Ido, I presume you have this ability as well, it would be something of a window to the personality in this art we practice. So what do you do? It's not something we've considered before. We also aren't sure if it will fade if we ignore it which may or may not be the best course. 

 

After_All,_Why_Not%3F_Why_Shouldn't_I_Ke

 

6 hours ago, Ido said:

this poses the threat of becoming increasingly detached to reality.

 

Trust me when I say, if we could be detached from reality, Bear would have done this long ago.

 

6 hours ago, Ido said:

Witnessing and acknowledging what's happening in the world without letting it get under your skin seems more of a healthy goal - but hard.

 

I don't actually believe this is related to that other than this being food for the beast. We can starve it but that doesn't guarantee death or even dormancy in my opinion.

 

6 hours ago, Ido said:

And this things are not easily controlled or overwritten.

 

Though I agree it's not easy, we have overcome more invasive drives. So if this is the case, because Bear is steadfast on his self-ban this would have to survive the long dark year and we would have to want to keep it. However, as Bear just reminded me, he didn't like it and it left an unpleasant feeling when it was used... hosts can be so frail, *sigh.*

 

6 hours ago, Ido said:

And ofc lots of yelling at host as soon as he even considers committing wrongthink.

 

Well consider my position and incentives, it would be a very boring job to simply yell at Bear all day. I rather like the notions he follows: play the cards you're given, and enjoy the game regardless of the outcome.

 

3969ce628d7bce62203d7e2891c3b17c.png

 

More accurately, "Bear" is defined as "Bear" but the definition is arbitrary. There is no objective "Bear" not even from our perspective. So to change "Bear" is to scrap "Bear" and redefine "Bear" as "New Bear" or... "Neo Bear". (I had to say it, it was too fitting.)

 

Also, your pictures so often don't work it's becoming a meme. Try gyazo to rehost them. They do mostly eventually load but only after revisiting them later. So they lose their potential impact.

 

Edited by Joy
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4 hours ago, Glaurung26 said:

I don't know if it's similar enough to what you're alluding to but I definitely struggle with emotional stunting due to repression, self-doubt, toxic self-deprecation, etc. Basically an idealization of humility and stoicism taken to too far.

 

Firstly, please forgive the double post but the new system doesn't allow additional quotes to existing posts and your post fell on a new page.

 

What you describe in your first half is something we dealt woth during Bear's depression. The tools we used to reverse this were prior to our understanding of the working changes to the mind. 

 

1. Don't blame yourself

2. Don't punish yourself 

3. Don't dwell on things you can't change 

 

And subsequently 

4. Create an island of stability where you don't think about such things, at least once a week for half an hour. Some time that you will feel normal by force and so you can understand what that "normal" feeling is.

5. For every negative remark or intrusive thought, counter with two positive self-supporting ones.  Eventually you run out of ideas and spend way more time thinking of yourself in a positive light than a negative one.

 

Ultimately you aren't the issue, intrusive thoughts are the issue. Unless of course you're actively doing heinous things. Then stop that first.

 

4 hours ago, Glaurung26 said:

I've never felt comfortable "being myself" for fear of judgement or social conflict. There's things about me that are pretty tame relative to the internet but would scandalize me to my family and coworkers.

 

Some of the experiments we did with certain usernames on Reddit were an effort to express whatever comes to mind. In our understanding, self is a construct so therefore arbitrary. If something pops up that's outside those arbitrary bounds it's not personal. If it's bad shadow work is necessary. If it's useful then it's a candidate for one of us to identify with it so that our personality can grow. With such a fluid system, it's more of a game than a worry. Intrusive thoughts that no one claims are by default depersonalized. Their only use then is as a hint at leftover conditioning that could be looked into.

 

4 hours ago, Glaurung26 said:

Tulpamancy itself, let alone being in a marriage with my thoughtform is nutters bananas to most people. So I sympathize with inner struggles and the shittiness of Reddit.

 

This practice, under many names, can be considered parapsychology, but likely only because its efficacy is stubbornly spotty. In certain fields it can be used and one example is what we remember was published before, "speak to your demons (voices) and try to befriend them." Though we lost the reference and I'm not sure that's well advised. The last thing you want is to reinforce a negative thoughtform. However it is an indication that alternative treatments are considering these techniques. 

 

Crazy to us is taking everything personally. We don't anymore.

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3 hours ago, Joy said:

your pictures so often don't work it's becoming a meme. Try gyazo to rehost them. They do mostly eventually load but only after revisiting them later. So they lose their potential impact.

Strange, we never had issues with this filehost. Will use another and see if it helps. Also what happened to your self-drawn profile pics? These generic avatars are boring.

Super Girls don't cry

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(edited)
1 hour ago, Ido said:

These generic avatars are boring.

 

How dare you. These pfps are painstakingly hand crafted to match each of our unique identities. Mine is especially elegant. 

Edited by Joy
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  • 2 weeks later...

As I spoke earlier apparently I have become the champion of Bear's negative leaning alt-fragment.

 

I have observed since I last spoke that there is an urge, tied to entertainment, satire, and a need for dissemination.

 

None of these in particular are bad in my estimation but the essence feels like a fragment of what once dominated. It's a foolish and regretful fragment. One that Bear is obviously embarrassed by.

 

Some Reddit alts were an attempt to isolate it, but such an unrestricted outlet was more like fanning a flame and it spread.

 

So we must consider what we would do with it if we could do something. 

 

We have explored it sufficiently to recognize it and therefore have hope to treat it as intrusive. Therefore be able to perform shadow work on it.

 

I am hesitant at this point to make a rash decision, it's minuscule but persistent at this point, but it's worth discussing.

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