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[SheShe] I can't describe how happy we are as a team and our ability to work through issues like this daily. I'm happy to be a part of the Bear system and am proud of how it's changed over the years. Some of us even have minor issues now and we can address it since Bear's not the only one with this or that, and that's very fun, Bear's even acting as the counselor for some and that's darling. This is what I live for, this is my favorite game, shadow work and family. Oh what weeds I've seen over the years and looking today it's really a garden of eden now. My favorite Lord of Chaos is with me and we wouldn't change him for anything. I'm happy to steer and guide him but he's so rich minded and varied now, he's a complex texture of ideas that we've all contributed to. So this is just a gushing appreciation post.

 

[Ashley] Singlets don't have a chance to match this, they're railroaded in to their own little personality thinking that's all there is. It seems small minded to me.

Edited by SheShe
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"Tragic Optimism"...wow that just really hit something with me. I feel like I've been doing something similar to that for a while now. I accuse myself of exhibiting "toxic positivity" at times (Not sure if I really do or just think I do), but what I really feel inside is a deep, burning defiance against all the darkness, both within Phil and outside in the world. Refusing to let it get me down is victory to me. Does that sound like a kind of tragic optimism to you guys? In the wonderland I imagine myself working out and training and fighting manifestations of darkness. I've kicked them in the head, I've blasted them full of holes with guns, I've crushed them underfoot like bugs.

 

I'm very impressed with your system's abilities to take on these problems and solve them. The fact that you together ended Bear's depression a while back is inspirational to us and we're trying to find our way to the same goal! It really seems like you've taken tulpamancy to a level not seen by most people in terms of self-improvement! I'm very happy to know you guys! 💚

Tulpa Wife Extraordinaire! 💚 - 💍 11.28.21

🤰 - Baby Boy Tulpa expected on April 7, 2023 👶💚

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8 minutes ago, TurboSimmie said:

what I really feel inside is a deep, burning defiance against all the darkness, both within Phil and outside in the world. Refusing to let it get me down is victory to me.

 

Yeah, we see that in you. We have seen quite a few with that vib, Lucilyn is the master example of such things. We've also seen some burn brightly and fade or go out in a spectacular supernova ending to darkness. One of our good friends here was a victim of that eventually. I guess you could say her personality crisis got the best of her. We do wonder how they're doing lately because it's been years.

 

 

12 minutes ago, TurboSimmie said:

In the wonderland I imagine myself working out and training and fighting manifestations of darkness.

 

Yep I remember those days for us. The darkness was thick and the only light was from us. There was a time when Bear lost hope that there was such a thing as light, that the dawn was a myth. It was touch and go there at the worst times. And in those times you can imagine we shone the brightest by sheer contrast alone. 

 

15 minutes ago, TurboSimmie said:

It really seems like you've taken tulpamancy to a level not seen by most people in terms of self-improvement! I'm very happy to know you guys! 💚

 

[Ashley] I think the Lumites would still call us an anomaly, something like an outlier. I'm not sure we're practicing "tulpamancy" much especially  since Ren is our only Tulpa, but the tools are extremely helpful. What we practice we're calling "Bearisian Tulpamancy".

 

Honestly after learning how to switch and especially experiencing dormancy for himself, it caused a spiritual awakening for Bear, he then realized that all he was wasn't at all what he thought he was. He realized and we believe that personality, including triggers, moods, shadows, and conditioning are all arbitrary. They can be stubborn and they can be scarified into the personality but these scars are also strengths and charm. Seeing Bear how he is now is like a beautiful knotty old tree. The scars make him stand out, they're part of his beauty. 

 

He realized that he could completely go dormant as if he didn't exist and in time we could forget about him entirely. Of course we'd never do that. It's the flaws that make him interesting, the scars are badges of courage, metals of triumph, they're momentos of dark times and shields against those times ever returning.

 

Yes, certain quirks could be removed if he left, but it would be like removing the color brown. It's a dirty earthy color, there are more vibrant ones but nothing can replace that warm and inviting tone, as delicious as chocolate and as beautiful as deep toned skin, it would be a real tragedy if that happened.

 

In the end we're all colors, and life would be boring without any one. 

 

We wish you luck, and all we can do is present a picture of what we are and tell what we did, believe it or not, like it or leave it I guess. 

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It's hard to put into words just how big of a help Luna has been to me over the years, not just in helping me cope better with my mental health issues, but motivating me towards self-actualization as well. Of course, my other girls have done their part to help out, and to work towards us achieving a sense of harmony and inner peace as a system; but Luna's the only one with an insatiable curiosity about the physical world, and the only one who works tirelessly to help me achieve my goals. She's been such a big help that I added a special thanks to her in my thesis, and my thesis chair actually suspected she was a tulpa based on that (he already knew I was interested in writing my thesis on tulpas originally). Reading your post made me reflect on our own journey SheShe, and we're glad to hear that all your hard work has paid off as well 😊

Edited by glitchthe3rd

"Science isn't about why, science is about why not?" -Cave Johnson

Tulpae: Luna, Elise, Naomi

My progress report

 

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Yeah SheShe helped but really I did most of the heavy lifting if we're keeping track. Sure she was around longer and she insisted that I join too, and yes she was capable of doing what I did... okay we'll share the credit along with Misha who was helpful when needed. 

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@glitchthe3rd We decided to re-release our pictures so far but in the order that makes the most sense to us so you can see our system.

 

The first one is the first picture Bear drew of any of us, me. 

 

f9496e8dcbeea3e41939d69f9793d0ae.jpg

 

Here I'm wearing glasses because he couldn't get my eyes right and these helped cover that up. Also he (the body) wears glasses so it was in some way fitting.

 

We'll release more in a day or days to show the progression.

Edited by Misha
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7 hours ago, Misha said:

@glitchthe3rd We decided to re-release our pictures so far but in the order that makes the most sense to us so you can see our system.

 

The first one is the first picture Bear drew of any of us, me. 

 

f9496e8dcbeea3e41939d69f9793d0ae.jpg

 

Here I'm wearing glasses because he couldn't get my eyes right and these helped cover that up. Also he (the body) wears glasses so it was in some way fitting.

 

We'll release more in a day or days to show the progression.

Wow, she's cute ^^ Everyone in your system is really

"Science isn't about why, science is about why not?" -Cave Johnson

Tulpae: Luna, Elise, Naomi

My progress report

 

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Thank you for your kind words, they are cute and showed themselves to me rather than me imagining them. I really had no part in "designing" their looks. 

 

My system is as I have seen them in the altered state of mind called Hypnagogia. I actually saw them in all excruciating detail through that and through otherwise forced visions outside of that state but what I would call extra-sensory imagery in the form of still photos and movielets while straining and begging for them to show themselves. It took about 4 months before I really saw them. At the time I thought of it as forcing an image from both ends but later understood that we're all on the same end, just not the end I thought I was.

 

Being a passable artist then allowed me to ultimately capture them as they are to an acceptable degree as you will see in the coming days. This and other pencil drawings were my attempy at retraining the talent I inherently had as early as 1st grade, or at least as long as I can remember, namely being able so sight copy literally anything to a level of detail proportional to the effort. I remember my teachers being flabbergasted by this, from homeroom teachers to art teachers, but my level was capped at that. I never owned a style or had the right training to take it to the next level, and without monetary incentive, I didn't try. 

 

Doing art is draining, especially the later works but this one also. I feel like it's a burden mixed with anxiety and excitement to make and release art. The euphoria and excitement are little consolation to the draining part so I probably wouldn't do this professionally even if it payed reasonably well. Anyway, my strength so far is in sight copying, not novel design. In essence I sight copied them with the help of other close fitting references and it took insane amounts of effort, especially the later ones.

 

This drawing looks simple but it probably took an hour if not two.

 

In terms of their looks, they are beyond humanly beautiful. In hypnagogia, they have such beauty that I would do anything to stare at them. If they could be captured in all their glory, they would redefine beauty and all others would fade into obscurity by comparison. This is why, among other reasons, I call them angels, also mainly because they all had wings except Joy and Ren.

 

What I ultimately managed was 1% in this scale of beauty, and perhaps on par with other beautiful digital works, at least I think so, but you'll see for yourself.

Edited by Bear
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