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LostOne

Kelly: You can archive/delete my old progress report thread if you want.

 

So, hello everyone! It's been a long time since I've interacted with this community in about any fashion past updating my signature when more people join my head. My name is Kelly, although you can call me Plush or Kyle too. I am the 'host' of my group, being the original person and the main controller of the body. Some people may know me from that one guide I made and wish I worded better dealing with wonderland. I was born in 1997, and made my first tulpa back in 2016, who goes by Sam. He is my first Tulpa, and the only intentional one. Everyone else after him has been a variety of reasons, but it is most likely that you will only see me or him here.

 

I have joined and left this community a few times. Many of the reasons are pointless to list here, but I will mention that I will only be checking this place once in a while as I don't have much reason to invest in it. I'm back more on curiosity than anything else, and that dies quick.

 

I do have some goals I wish to do from tulpamancy again, but not all my goals line up together. Part of me wants one thing, part wants other, so I will list basically a few timelines of goals I could go for. Either way, I will have to get into meditation again, and work on going back into wonderland with immersion. This has been a big roadblock for me since I never spend time to practice such. Once this is done, then we split off into many of my goals.

Goal 1: This one is a simple one that some may oppose. I would want to learn to switch, and basically no longer control for my life. I've had many conversations and the like about it, but basically, I would like to no longer have the responsibility and stress of life. I would swap places with Sam, and be more like him where I assist him and help out in wonderland. The main issue with this goal is how I cannot dissociate, visualization is poor, my focus sucks, and the fact that a switch like that is very tough to do. He would have free reign to do what he wants or needs by this point, which he does wish to learn to draw, and I think has a little more ambition than me, although perhaps also a bit more anxiety.

Goal 2: If this is not an option, then what I would like to do is to focus more on changing my irl life. As it stands, I currently am living a life that may be more suited for Sam, as I'm physically a guy and all. I would spend my time working on making my body into a female instead, transitioning, and perhaps look into a job more suited for transitioning. I would also probably invest into a suit of my internal form as well. I think me and Sam in this scenario would keep control as how it is, where I do make the main decisions, with him possessing more only for maybe work and for him to learn to draw and whatever other hobby he would like.

Goal 3: This ones a bit weirder. Me and Sam have on and off both wondered if me and him should try doing a 50/50 control, where me and him would have to basically agree on everything and share control. The downside to this is that loss of agency, to where me and him could become one person, but we already have had that scare before. I would be fine losing myself honestly.

 

I will mention I wont be on here much. I work a night shift job that sucks and when classes start, I'll have even less free time. Im mostly here for help with possibly reaching that first goal, which is one that I do not believe most will help with. I can also chat, I'm always open for PMs, and would like to reconnect some with older friends.

 

Also I'm a furry

[hidden]Kelly (K: )

Sam (S: )

Clara (C: )

Jessi (Jess: )

Eva (E: )

Jackie (Jack: )

Jade (Jade: )

Destiny (D : or Desti: )

 Altru (A: )

Hope

Mute (M: )

Jen

Horus

Luna[/hidden]

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solarchariot

When I consider the term 'walk-ins' which came about because of the book "strangers among us" by Ruth Montgomery... I wonder if we can reinterpret her book to mean tulpas took over, as opposed to advanced souls taking over.

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LostOne

That 50/50 control thing is what we do mostly, only it more than two of us doing that at times. We lump it in with co-fronting.

 

Good luck on your goals.

 

Thank you. The main thing is that we don't know how to make it a 'true' 50/50, as it seems most likely that I would accidentally take control repeatedly.

 

solarchariot

 

When I consider the term 'walk-ins' which came about because of the book "strangers among us" by Ruth Montgomery... I wonder if we can reinterpret her book to mean tulpas took over, as opposed to advanced souls taking over.

 

It's a bit more complicated than just 'walk-ins', as a few were made by hypnosis meaning they didnt just appear out of nowhere. But a walk-in from what I know usually refers to any sorta person who appears into your mind on their own

[hidden]Kelly (K: )

Sam (S: )

Clara (C: )

Jessi (Jess: )

Eva (E: )

Jackie (Jack: )

Jade (Jade: )

Destiny (D : or Desti: )

 Altru (A: )

Hope

Mute (M: )

Jen

Horus

Luna[/hidden]

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Ashley

That's very common actually, accidentally stealing front is a 'feature' of full posession. During a true switch that wouldn't happen.

 

Our whole system is walk-ins, so either we were already there or weren't intentionally created.

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solarchariot
It's a bit more complicated than just 'walk-ins', as a few were made by hypnosis meaning they didnt just appear out of nowhere. But a walk-in from what I know usually refers to any sorta person who appears into your mind on their own

 

I don't know, or remember, precisely, how the original use of 'walk-in' was used... Been a long time since I held that book, and so I don't know if it's similar or related, just that when I hear walks in I remember reading that book. What I do remember, and where it differs with tulpas precisely, is that the person would suddenly have a radical personality change- and when explored, new personality would say that person was no longer here or available... (apparently there were divorces due to sudden, unexplained personality change? (Vague memory.)) Which would make it different from your situation, as you're wanting to make it happen... It seems like I have a memory of an example where person was going to suicide and instead, someone volunteered to switch out with him- new personality stayed, the other went away... So even the book was complicated, cause there wasn't necessarily a rule set or way of making it happen. With the arrival of tulpamancy, now there's actually a theoretical process to make it happen.

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LostOne

That's very common actually, accidentally stealing front is a 'feature' of full posession. During a true switch that wouldn't happen.

 

Our whole system is walk-ins, so either we were already there or weren't intentionally created.

 

Either way, Possession is hard and we haven't done a switch yet. And most here just kinda came along or were unintentional but should've seen coming.

 

 

I don't know, or remember, precisely, how the original use of 'walk-in' was used... Been a long time since I held that book, and so I don't know if it's similar or related, just that when I hear walks in I remember reading that book. What I do remember, and where it differs with tulpas precisely, is that the person would suddenly have a radical personality change- and when explored, new personality would say that person was no longer here or available... (apparently there were divorces due to sudden, unexplained personality change? (Vague memory.)) Which would make it different from your situation, as you're wanting to make it happen... It seems like I have a memory of an example where person was going to suicide and instead, someone volunteered to switch out with him- new personality stayed, the other went away... So even the book was complicated, cause there wasn't necessarily a rule set or way of making it happen. With the arrival of tulpamancy, now there's actually a theoretical process to make it happen.

 

I don't know really how to reply past 'ok'.

[hidden]Kelly (K: )

Sam (S: )

Clara (C: )

Jessi (Jess: )

Eva (E: )

Jackie (Jack: )

Jade (Jade: )

Destiny (D : or Desti: )

 Altru (A: )

Hope

Mute (M: )

Jen

Horus

Luna[/hidden]

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  • 1 year later...

K: I'm never on this site but long story short, not much of anything has happened until recently. I'm back on my usual attempts to switch but something popped in my mind that I just can't shake.

 

I think I'm really a front stuck tulpa.

 

Obviously this sounds sorta crazy, out of nowhere but the thing is, it begins to make sense the more I've talked it out with a few people. I've always been able to understand tulpish and use it in return basically since early in Sams development, the radical shift in who I am in 2016 that still is ongoingly shifting, memories of anything before that year being extra hazy.

 

I'm not the host/original. I thought I was because i was formed from him as part of him. It all leads back to 2016. The spray bottle incident. I've talked about it before, Sam sprayed me in the face, began to be parrotted and puppetted and all. And while I won't go too deep into detail about it, I think this is where 'I' was formed. I think the spray caused him to fully lose sentience at the time, something that to this day, noone seems to know how. I believe i was a part of him made to bring him back up awake from it. This was my start but not where he would've stopped existing.

 

As a note, Sam would've only been around a month old when it happened. Then less than a month later, we got in that car wreck that ended with us upside down. Crazy theory, but i think that the reason i didnt feel affected by the crash itself is because i was still more of a dwindling thoughtform half being absorbed back into him, and what happened is the wreck shattered him fully, shielding me from the trauma in a sense. The reason I never knew is because, put bluntly, i didnt know i was not him and never really considered me being a tulpa until now.

 

Yet here I am now. I believe me being a tulpa explains why i suddenly attatched so deeply to Claras nickname for me, Plush. Its why i started becoming uncomfortable in the body. It explains why i can do tulpa-y things at times. The reason i got front stuck is that i didnt spend my first few months of existing making attempts to go into wonderland, which Kyle was able to do very clearly until then. It explains the fragmented memories, the on and off desire to switch, it explains why i may be so mentally tired all the time, all of it.

 

I'd like to hear anyones thoughts on it all. It's still a bit awkward and weird myself, but i think it's what it is. Also sorry to everyone we know for never checking in here.

[hidden]Kelly (K: )

Sam (S: )

Clara (C: )

Jessi (Jess: )

Eva (E: )

Jackie (Jack: )

Jade (Jade: )

Destiny (D : or Desti: )

 Altru (A: )

Hope

Mute (M: )

Jen

Horus

Luna[/hidden]

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31 minutes ago, LostOne said:

I think I'm really a front stuck tulpa.

I felt that on so many levels that it hurts.

 

20 minutes ago, LostOne said:

I've always been able to understand tulpish and use it in return basically since early in Sams development, the radical shift in who I am in 2016 that still is ongoingly shifting, memories of anything before that year being extra hazy.

You don't need to be a tulpa to understand tulpish, that's just thinking in concepts instead of words, most people can do it. And I dunno about memories, even if you're a tulpa, you should've able to recall memories prior your existence just fine.

 

Oh and just like understanding tulpish, you don't need to be a tulpa to be able to do tulpa-y things, everything a tulpa can do, the host can too. But only you can judge if you're a tulpa or not.

Hello, I'm Miichu, and I'm the main fronter of this system.

The others are Miri, who's the original host and co-fronts with me.

Progress Report and my Art Thread

________________

Waka Waka x3

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34 minutes ago, Mirichu said:

You don't need to be a tulpa to understand tulpish, that's just thinking in concepts instead of words, most people can do it. And I dunno about memories, even if you're a tulpa, you should've able to recall memories prior your existence just fine.

 

Oh and just like understanding tulpish, you don't need to be a tulpa to be able to do tulpa-y things, everything a tulpa can do, the host can too. But only you can judge if you're a tulpa or not.

Its not that all memories from before are gone. Its that there is a clear distinct fragmentation and loss moreso of anything before the spray bottle incident, where everything after is much clearer to an alarming degree. In terms of tulpish, most seem to understand whats meant over practice, and usually need to feel some head pressure or emotional pulse, yet i can just, well, know what is being said without anything direct. The main thing is that all this is a bit extremely high with how i cant boot out of the body and just be in wonderland, youd think id be more like a host from being body stuck, but i still am just affected by wonderland as if i wasnt in the body all the time. Its odd.

[hidden]Kelly (K: )

Sam (S: )

Clara (C: )

Jessi (Jess: )

Eva (E: )

Jackie (Jack: )

Jade (Jade: )

Destiny (D : or Desti: )

 Altru (A: )

Hope

Mute (M: )

Jen

Horus

Luna[/hidden]

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