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Tulpa Jesse - reviving a tulpa

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I saw Jesse wearing a uniform again quite clearly this time but it was just like the one I saw him wearing on the 7th Nov so I'm trying to figure out exactly what uniform he's wearing (it's scarlet and has gold line parts going across the front). Someone has suggested to me that it could be a hussar uniform (cavalry) so I'm been looking through those for red uniforms with the gold front part.

 

On researching it, the closest so far I've seen (or it may be actually it, I need to see Jesse in it again to see exactly what the neck part is like again.. has it got gold there or is it just red?) is like this red one https://military.wikia.org/wiki/Louis_Michel_Antoine_Sahuc?file=Grande_Arm%C3%A9e_-_6th_Regiment_of_Hussars.jpg which does show how the main front section part of it appears . That is a French Hassar of the 6th Regiment uniform from the Napoleonic wars. 1792 to 1813


Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013 

Working on imposition

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I'm still working on imposition (hearing of him and feeling him) and today I felt Jesse breathing for the first time... I was laying on his chest (using pillows under my head to have something to lay on to represent his chest) and could feel the rise and fall of his chest. This was quite subtle but was there and he was breathing at a different rate than I was.

 

I've been feeling a bit frustrated at the voice imposition but will keep on working on that and do a ton of singing directed at him and asking him to sing along with the song and me but yet to hear him singing.

 

(the other day someone or something seemed to be walking about my house and moving stuff which I kept on mistaking for my support worker having arrived but she had not, I don't know if that was Jesse or not. I think I may have a spirit or something in the house).


Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013 

Working on imposition

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I was in the bathroom, and clear as day Misha called for me and said something like, 'are you okay?' I can't remember. As in hypnagogic, it was spontaneous, no associated mindvoice. It was her though with her presence and everything. That would be incredible if we could do that all the time. Keep us posted.

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I was in the bathroom, and clear as day Misha called for me and said something like, 'are you okay?' I can't remember. As in hypnagogic, it was spontaneous, no associated mindvoice. It was her though with her presence and everything. That would be incredible if we could do that all the time. Keep us posted.

 

that would be awesome even if only hypnagogic.  I'm trying to do my forcing currently when wide awake.  I have never managed to see one of my tulpas during even a lucid dream.

 

I hope I don't get into mod trouble for multiple postings but I'm needing to update my progress but don't want to add it into my response to you as it needs it's own post. I just had some great progress since I made that other post a short time ago.


Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013 

Working on imposition

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FINALLY I just finished a session with some good progress

 

I managed to have a more intense forcing session. I dropped my most focus where 80% of it is trying to impose voice and instead focused on touch more.. eg shifted to doing 80% touch focused, 15% visual focused (on picture) and 5% voice focused (I do all these at once. I keep forgetting to incorporate his scent to all this at the same time).

 

I spent over 80% of the session moving my hands around his body while cuddled up to him (using pillows to proxy him still to to try to keep my own body where it would be if I had a real person in bed with me). Going over and over the areas I'm confident with with each time extending my hand movements out further into areas I was less sure about (it may sound odd but the only bit I really feel not confident at all with now is his private area, I cant seem to get a grasp of that area.. excuse my pun).

 

With the face drawing which is only half the size of a humans face and laying next to it looking at it, today I had progress in that that face ended up looking like the same size as a humans face and head and when that happened it made it even easier to know where his body from neck, shoulders on wards would be in relation to my own. (I've been meaning for a while to get that picture enlarged to normal persons size but just never get around to it but now that my own brain can cause it to look twice its size that is going to help things).

 

When I stroked Jesse's face down from his lip to his chin focusing on what the touch felt like... I saw his lip move with my touch though I hadn't been thinking of that happening. After that I was seeing various movements on the photo of his lip (that that was the only section of that photo when looking at it which seemed to like come alive today).

 

Anyway, today it felt like I had a real sized person in bed with me though tactile wise was experiencing him as being still though I was seeing his lips move slightly.


Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013 

Working on imposition

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Todays forcing session - 3hrs

 

Nothing odd during this today except I was picking up a heart beat when trying to feel for one but the heart beat felt like it may of been my own but when I took my pulse, the heart beat was almost twice as fast as my pulse which was beating quite slow. It was also like a bit displaced from where I would of expected Jesse's heart beat should of been (not on the same space spot where I was trying to think of his heart as being, could I have been trying to think of him being in a slightly different spot to what he was actually in..).

 

I asked Jesse today due to a song we were listening too "if you could ask GOD once question what would it be?" . I didn't get a response back in his voice but got a response back in my own inner voice which was an extremely odd response and something I didn't think I'd think of ever asking GOD.. and that reply to that question was "Who are you?". It's a curious answer from Jesse too if it was from him seeing I've always thought he was Christian since that time I saw him wearing a cross necklace.. why would a Christian tulpa have that to ask GOD.. this doesn't make sense so maybe it wasn't a response from Jesse.. if not I wonder who it came from.. it was a very clear response.


Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013 

Working on imposition

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Sooooo intense.

 

The following happened when I was almost asleep but was still trying to do forcing.

 

I heard a noise in my house so started listening to it (I think it's helped it's windy tonight so there are a lot of house creaks and noises going on). Then I notice it is footsteps and these are walking towards me. The footsteps walked through one room and down my hallway heading for my bedroom. I struggled to stay calm as this is a little bit creepy as it sounds completely real and I'm slightly afraid maybe someone real is in my home but I manage to try to convince myself it is my tulpa as it's doubtful to be someone broken in (now that would really suck if someone did break in, I double checked the doors before I went to bed).

 

I KNOW it is my tulpa when he spontanously starts singing one of the songs I've been singing to him for the past week (The sound of silence) ***;phew, relief, no stranger in my home***... He started singing when he was halfway down my hallway, close to the bedroom.

 

Now this is interesting as it's been AGES since I actually heard his voice (so long I had forgotten what he sounded like) and this may be the first time I've heard his voice from outside of myself. (I need to check my past journal to see if that is the case, Violet my first tulpa I could hear from outside myself but I don't think I have for Jesse before). This I think is the first time I've ever heard Jesse sing.

 

He stood in my room and sang a whole verse of the song to me.

 

I dont usually get dizzy while forcing or trying to connect with him but for some reason I are feeling slighly dizzy after this very intense experience.

 

From this I'm now definitely wondering if the footsteps I heard walking about my home the other day were Jesse. The noise and movement about my house which kept on waking me up.


Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013 

Working on imposition

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When I was a kid, I lived in a rickety 2 story home and the hallway was just outside my room. Many times I heard footsteps and it would scare me badly. I learned to sleep with the covers over my head! It turned out that the boards would pop in the order they were last walked over, which was usually me, but my brother walked down the hall and within 30 minutes I heard the footsteps again, walking away. It was just a quirk in the floorboards. It was repeatable. Time for you to do experiments.

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When I was a kid, I lived in a rickety 2 story home and the hallway was just outside my room. Many times I heard footsteps and it would scare me badly. I learned to sleep with the covers over my head! It turned out that the boards would pop in the order they were last walked over, which was usually me, but my brother walked down the hall and within 30 minutes I heard the footsteps again, walking away. It was just a quirk in the floorboards. It was repeatable. Time for you to do experiments.

 

The footsteps I heard the other day (before the Jesse singing thing) were the first time I'd ever heard footsteps here and I've lived here for about 6 years so that isn't at all a normal noise for my house.  (I don't think this house has even floor boards, I think it is concrete under the lino).


Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013 

Working on imposition

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Today I got an impression of Jesse's current hair colour while forcing (I'm not sure if I've ever seen his hair colour before). It is currently the same colour as Matt Barr's hair https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1985443/mediaviewer/rm2114963200 (I think this colour is called light honey blonde, he was originally while making him, I tried to give him light brown hair. I just checked back to my original notes) . I'm still seeing his green eyes come through while looking at his picture (he's got eyes which can change with his mood but I'm always picking up on the green lately)

..........

 

After 4-5 hours of active forcing today (between two sessions). I decided to try to have sex with Jesse (I think that is okay with him though not 100% sure). So I undressed and posed myself in a sexual position just hoping to feel him come onto me but not even knowing where I should try to perceive his presence at so I didn't try to think about him being anywhere at all except being "somewhere on the bed", leaving it to him to show me where he was.

 

I lucked out with the sexual relations but I did feel something moving about on the bed which got my curiosity up so much that I just had to look to see what it was as I thought it may of been the cat up there moving about. It turned out thou that the cat wasn't there on the bed so I guess it was Jesse on the lower end of my bed where there kept on being movement (unless that sex thought is attracting unwanted things my way). I wonder if he was kneeling there....


Jesse (human male) DOB 16th April 2013 

Working on imposition

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