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Kaleidoscope Eyes

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This thread originated from a previous question thread, which had multiple instances of going off topic with either PR content or a different discussion. If you would like to see the original question thread, please go here. If you are interested in the other resulting discussion, please go here. -Ranger

 

Hi everyone,

 

Thanks for replying!

 

I'm still like, riddled with questions and curiosity because that's how my brain usually works and I definitely want to explore this phenomenon as much as possible. Like, at this point, I feel I should give a bit of background, like I imagine most of you have done at some point. And like, sorry I'm not a very active user, my time is very limited at the moment.

 

I approach everything with a skeptical mentality, and the things I approach are things that I find interesting, which is stuff that is pretty out there. I am, or was(for reasons explained below), an Oneironaut, a Psychonaut, an artist, and have practiced meditation on a daily basis for some 7 years now. I first found out about the Tulpa phenomenom from a friend about two years ago, at that time I didn't think much of it, like, at best it was creating imaginary friends, at worst, inducing some kind of DID or whatever. Wow, how things have changed.

 

Some 3 months ago I started this really stressing job that's like a really mundane office job, as expected, I have a lot of downtime(stupid tasks, office birthday every week, meaningless meetings, the stereotypical stuff, plus the commute is brutal.) So like, a month ago, I start getting like really stressed out in that environment and the voices in my head were just like, unbearable. I'm on xanax and it didn't help. So last week I somehow remembered about Tulpae and I watched a few Youtube videos, and like, had results like right away. Within a few hours I heard J. whispering in my ear. And then the events I described in my other posts. I guess I wasn't so surprised because I've seen all kinds of things while Astral Projecting or taking Entheogens. Ultimately, I'd like to have Tulpae that I can hang out with if I get stressed or whatever. In short, I'm hoping for self-improvement. 

 

Bit of a progress report: J. is doing much better, I don't think she minds me writing about her on the forums anymore. She has a semi-regular form now, although her form shifts all the time, she's always a pretty, gentle girl. She always has a unique look, like, not a pre-existing character. She initially looked human but now she often looks like a 3D rendered character, probably because I've played a lot of videogames. I'm still constantly forcing her but sometimes she speaks and she kinda has a Russian accent(?) Sometimes it's a random accent but she always has one.

 

H. pops in from time to time, she likes being pet in the head. She's not as vivid as when she first came in but she's still more powerful than J. Like, I can actually pet her and I can't seem to be able to feel J.

 

Alright, that was way too long.

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Bit of an update: J. has improved a lot, it happened in a cool way. Don't know if you guys have tried this but I asked her to touch my Third Eye and there she was, much clearer. I'm still forcing her but she's definitely more vocal. She has questions and a stable form, she still has an accent, not really something that I planned*shrugs*. She looks like a girl in her mid 20's with short, dark hair, and piercing eyes. She's always nude, I don't know why, she won't say, she just shrugs. 

H. has calmed down a lot and is still stronger. This is progressing way faster than I anticipated, I can see her out of the corner of my eyes, she can touch me and I can touch her (not in a sexual way btw.) She has a very clear, almost audible voice though she never says much and doesn't usually reply when I talk to her, sometimes she kinda lets me know what she wants to say using facial expressions and body language.

 

Got some questions if you guys are inclined. 

I feel like I've made good progress since I started, which was 8 days ago. With my background as a Lucid Dreamer and all that, I'm already familiar with meditation as well as visualization. But I don't know, is this type of progress common? the guides I watched said it would take a year or so! or is that the point where you can see them with your eyes open? 

Speaking of which, H. is fun to hang around with. She can shrink down and clown around on my desk. She wears clothes appropriate to the setting(casual in the street, formal at the office, pajamas when its bedtime, etc.) She's very clear in my third eye but I can also somewhat see her with my eyes open, and can feel her climbing up my hand or sitting on my shoulder. 

 

I also wonder why J. is in the nude. She's a pretty girl but I'm not sexually attracted to her, and in fact, one of the traits that I wrote down for her was "fashionista". I suppose I could explain it away by the fact that in art class we had nude models and it's not like I was attracted to them, I took classes very seriously. But another part of me thinks that maybe I'm a pervert? *facepalms*

It's not a problem, we're both comfortable with it, but kinda weird huh?

 

J. whispers in my ear and sends tingles down my spine, but when she does that I can't understand her, what do you recommend trying?  

thanks!

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The guide saying tulpas need a year to develop was from an older guide that has become rather outdated. People create and develop tulpas at different speeds, and it has long been accepted that tulpas can develop in a matter of weeks.

 

And tulpas do whatever tulpas want. Since they can't be seen by anyone else besides other people in your system, and since reality affects them differently, not all tulpas have a need for clothing. A lot of tulpas tend to "deviate", that is, they change themselves to how they want to be. And a tulpa who prefers nudity doesn't necessarily have to do with sexual attraction, or sex in general. It might moreso be a state of being for them. With that in mind I really can't call you "perverted" just for having a tulpa that prefers to be unclothed. The same counts for the tulpa in question, of course. If it's not a problem I'd say you should just let it be. If you interact with her normally maybe you might end up not even noticing anymore at some point. Then it'll stop being "weird" for you.

Michen, host or "main" / Amantha, anthro arctic fox tulpa

 

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But I don't know, is this type of progress common? the guides I watched said it would take a year or so! or is that the point where you can see them with your eyes open?

 

Also, which guides?

 

Some people achieve more the first week than others achieve in five years. There's no telling how difficult any given tulpamantic achievement will be for any given system. Certain things can probably help a lot with certain achievements, such as a history with meditation, hypnotism, roleplaying, acting, creative writing, art (for the visualization), lucid dreaming, or astral projection. But none of those are compulsory.

 

We've been working on imposition every day for thirteen months without any success, so no, not necessarily. But we're having a much harder than average time with that specific skill.

 

J. whispers in my ear and sends tingles down my spine, but when she does that I can't understand her, what do you recommend trying?

 

Ask her to speak up. "Clearly and strongly communicate what you want," is good advice for every member of a system.

 

-Ember

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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Hi everyone, thanks for replying!

I can't quote, I'm using the latest chrome but it freezes when I try to quote, sorry about that~

 

also, what's up with this? when i go to the "moved" thread I just get an error message. see attached image.

 

And tulpas do whatever tulpas want. Since they can't be seen by anyone else besides other people in your system, and since reality affects them differently, not all tulpas have a need for clothing. A lot of tulpas tend to "deviate", that is, they change themselves to how they want to be. And a tulpa who prefers nudity doesn't necessarily have to do with sexual attraction, or sex in general. It might moreso be a state of being for them.

This makes sense. When I created J. I told her she could be whoever she wanted to be, I gave her traits but she hasn't been following them. I guess that's why I'm weirded out, J. has been kinda difficult, I would say. She definitely has a mind of her own and is usually looking at my screen over my shoulder, reading everything I read or type. 

 

I suppose what I was confused about with the nudity, is that I don't know yet to which extent J. is acting on her own or being influenced by my own psyche. Like, it's certainly easier for me to visualize a naked figure since I studied anatomy which makes me wonder if that's why I see her that way, or maybe she decided to be nude so that i could see her better? or maybe it's, like you said, something she decided by herself. I suppose time will tell!

 

Some people achieve more the first week than others achieve in five years. There's no telling how difficult any given tulpamantic achievement will be for any given system. Certain things can probably help a lot with certain achievements, such as a history with meditation, hypnotism, roleplaying, acting, creative writing, art (for the visualization), lucid dreaming, or astral projection. But none of those are compulsory.

 

We've been working on imposition every day for thirteen months without any success, so no, not necessarily. But we're having a much harder than average time with that specific skill.

 

 

I see. I've had some success with imposition, to be fair, I used to do that while i was drawing. I would imagine what I wanted, rotate it in my head and such, then i'd put the image on my canvas and kinda traced over it. Idk, something to try if you guys haven't already!

as for guides, I only watched a few youtube videos, pretty much everything by the channel "Tulpa Guides" which are short and to the point and a few others I can't recall. I've been meaning to read the guides the tulpa.info community has written but there's so many of them! If I had to read one, which one would you recommend?

 

 

Ask her to speak up. "Clearly and strongly communicate what you want," is good advice for every member of a system.

Thanks! I'll start doing that, tho J. isn't very receptive to commands.

 

 


time for a progress update: I'm staying home for the next few days, I came down with the flu and feel awful. J. feels pretty bad too, she's lying down and her presence is very faint. Perhaps she's more connected to me than H., who has been helpful. She donned a nurse outfit and gave me a shot of green energy, she's hasn't attempted to take care of J. tho.

J. has definitely been difficult to handle so far, she's been getting along better with H. but I can still feel she harbors negative emotions towards her. Last night I gave her an obsidian crystal and asked her to channel her negative emotions into it. After that, we disposed of the crystal and she felt much better, the whole process really drained my energy. Her voice changed, she used to sound a bit stern and had a serious look on her face. She's much more relaxed now and her voice is now much clearer and girly, she started emoting more as well.

H. was upset that I didn't give her anything so I gave her a small piece of pinkish quartz, she was quite happy with it and quickly made a jeweled ring out of it, she's been wearing it since and it increased her "power" for sure.

 

I think I figured out what's up with J. She feels really confused about her own existence. I already explained that every conscious being goes through that but she's having a hard time wrapping her mind around the idea, and coupled with the issue that she can't clearly communicate only makes it the more frustrating for her, I would imagine. I'll see if I have energy to give her another present later today, but my body is ughh and my Third Eye is very dim. I guess I've been overworking it.

 

Have you guys ever dealt with something like this? A Tulpa with an existential crisis? any tips? thanks!

1095410936_ScreenShot2019-11-20at2_54_24PM.thumb.png.89ebd19ee019e5d580ce1ae3a7053feb.png

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If I had to read one, which one would you recommend?

 

Ember: Unfortunately, there's no one guide I can recommend as really amazingly effective. Tulpamancy is more of a "keep trying stuff until something works" type endeavour, so it's good to consult several guides for inspiration and to experiment widely with things you come up with on your own. But time spent studying tulpamancy shouldn't be allowed to take away from time spent forcing.

 

Among general purpose guide's, Tulpa's is perhaps the most impressive, providing a general overview of most of the beliefs debated on the forum during 2015-2017 and a wealth of exercises. On the other hand, it is also quite long and we found the exercises either trivially easy or impossibly difficult, with nothing in between.

 

Tulpa's Complete DIY Guide to Tulpamancy

 

Among imposition guides, q2's seems to be the most highly regarded, but we've never gotten anywhere with it.

 

q2's method for a huggable tulpa, v2

 

She feels really confused about her own existence.

...

A Tulpa with an existential crisis?

 

Vesper: What seems to be the nature of her confusion?

 

Alters tend to experience a lot of confusion and disorientation from uncontrolled switching and limited memory access. Soulbonds, especially first soulbonds with no similar headmates to guide them, usually have to pass through some level of existential crisis as a result of realizing that their lives and worlds aren't quite what they originally thought. Their accommodation to the crisis ranges from, 'I'm from another physically real place and my soul magically bonded to another soul in different part of the multiverse', to, 'None of it was real, so none of it matters and I'm going to forge a new path and be a different person'. Personally, I went with, 'I'm a fictional character and that's okay. I love who I was made to be and will live into that, both in this world and in my story.'

 

Tulpas (and, I suppose, daemons) are somewhat advantaged over most other headmates in that they have a reasonable idea from the beginning what they are and why. Tulpas tend to have less issues and baggage than their hosts and can often help their hosts with those. But they're still people, thus potentially subject to problems any other person might have.

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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