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sullivan :D

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Hullo! I've been on this forum for a little while and I really want to get more involved, make some friends, learn some things, and this seems like a way to start!

 

Some background info: My only current tulpa (and the only one I plan to have) popped into my head mostly formed in July or August of 2017, before I even knew what a tulpa was. 

- His name is Adam Stevenson, he's a straight male and he's 26. 

- He's been able to switch from the start and has spoken to many of my close friends.

- His appearance has changed slightly over time, i.e. he used to always wear his hair down, he wore it in a ponytail for a while and now tends to wear it half back.

- He tends to have doubts about his own sentience and often accuses me of parroting him (a term we've recently learned)

- For about a month earlier this year, he disappeared and it was really hard for me to bring him back. It was a pretty crappy experience for both of us.

- Whenever he's out he tends to get dysphoric, since I, and therefore the body, is female. I bought him a chest binder to help with this. He also gets cold really easily.

- We dream together pretty often.

- I work really hard in school, and he really wants me to drop out.

 

We've got visualization, switching, dreaming, and conversing in the mind or out loud pretty much down, although his voice is still pretty similar to my own.

 

Since we've discovered a close enough label for what he is, a tulpa, I've wanted to help him become more independent using some of the guides on this forum. So far we've made a wonderland (a beachside hotel modeled after the one I was staying in when he made his first appearance) and he's become more able to maintain consciousness despite distractions (he used to get really scattered whenever I listened to music). 

 

Question:

He's really resistant to letting me help develop his consciousness/sentience because he's worried I'll end up changing who he is. He's been in this sort of sentient-ish state for a really long time now, and even though he really needs help with that last step, he's resistant to any kind of change. I was wondering if anyone had some advice about that?

 

But yeah!! That's the basic sitch right now. Feel free to ask questions or offer advice, I'd love to hear it. I'll update this thread with anything we're working on or have accomplished.

 

ALSO: Attached is an image of Adam I drew :D

273332110_ScreenShot2019-12-16at3_25_15PM.png.3ed5a3e31a96f965fe299732d50932cf.png

Call me sully! (he/they)

One thoughtform: [Adam] (he/him)

~Our system journal~

Feel free to send a chat!!

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Ooo cool picture!

 

Well it comes down to what he wants to do maybe? If he wants to be more independent, that's a change in and of itself right? Even Joy has changed recently and she's the oldest of us, so it's not a bad thing. I don't know how else to help other than work on his anxiety.

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Hey, it's Adam here. I guess I'm really paranoid about her trying to change me to be more passive. Because I can be kind of an ass sometimes, but that's part of who I am, and if she tries to help me along I don't want her influence to mess with that. Do you know if there are guides to help tulpas develop themselves? That's all I can really think of. And sorry to throw this all on you I'm really just cataloguing my thoughts a bit lol

Call me sully! (he/they)

One thoughtform: [Adam] (he/him)

~Our system journal~

Feel free to send a chat!!

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The host using personality forcing and parroting for development are techniques for use before communication is established. After communication is established, tulpas define themselves and can choose to tell the hosts to not interfere.

 

For tulpa-led personal development, I don't know any tulpamancy guides, but there are a few techniques I've practised and recommended:

 

1. Spend some time concentrating on believing in yourself as a separate and independent person.

2. Think about who you are and who you want to be, especially how you are different from your host. Use affirmation statements to claim the traits you want to have and aren't demonstrating enough and to reject traits you are demonstrating but don't want.

3. Talk a lot to your host. Mark your thoughts as clearly belonging to you.

4. Figure out your opinions, especially if they are different from your hosts.

5. If you switch, figure out things you want to do that are different from what your host customarily does.

 

-Vesper

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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Hey, it's Adam here... I can be kind of an ass sometimes, but that's part of who I am, and if she tries to help me along I don't want her influence to mess with that.

 

Well, yeah, but I am periodically in your boat as far as being an ass, never to Bear, but he still doesn't like it. I can have fun and needle people in a fun way, but not if it's mean. We negotiated that.

 

The host using personality forcing and parroting for development are techniques for use before communication is established. After communication is established, tulpas define themselves and can choose to tell the hosts to not interfere.

-Vesper

 

Except I couldn't do it alone, so he did personality force me a few times, for real, and it helped me a lot. In essence, Joy is personality forcing Bear, Misha and I lately to remove some passive-agressive stuff, histrionics and drama. It's definitely helping.

 

I don't want to be mean or a drama queen, but it's not 'changing me'.

 

I think I know where you're coming from though, if she takes out your fangs, you're a broken attack dog right? Well all my fangs are in place and I keep 'em sharp, but when to use them is where I needed help.

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Except I couldn't do it alone, so he did personality force me a few times, for real, and it helped me a lot. In essence, Joy is personality forcing Bear, Misha and I lately to remove some passive-agressive stuff, histrionics and drama. It's definitely helping.

 

As long as it's done consensually. That couldn't have worked for me because I wouldn't have listened to what anyone else had to say about who I am.

 

If one headmate doesn't like another's behaviour, they can work it out by discussion and compromise, like ordinary friends, family, and roommates, rather than by direct mental coercion.

 

-Vesper

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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  • 2 months later...

"since I, and therefore the body, is female." I don't know what you're trying to say here but to me you are saying  "I'm a girl so I have breasts" whicb is transphobic. I'm guessing you are referring to what most people think  of as female. It's almost like your trying to exclude trans people altogether. You even bought a binder and use the word "dysphoria" but seem to have no respect for trans people. Just so you know, your words caused me major dysphoria, even days after reading. And yes I know this is an old post.

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All she meant was that her male tulpa was getting dysphoria because she, the host, was female, to imply the body was also female. Whatever you just said was a crazy misinterpretation. And if a misinterpretation hurts you that much, the solution is working on yourself, not working on others. Being so vulnerable to maliciousness that may not even exist is no way to live, it'll only make your life harder.

Edited by Tewi

Hi, I'm Tewi, one of Luminesce's tulpas. I often switch to take care of things for the others.

All I want is a simple, peaceful life. With my family.

Our Ask thread: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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