Jump to content

I find out about Tulpa and my Tulpa go quiet


Recommended Posts

Crazy thing, I never really knew about Tulpa till yesterday. Might sound like I am just jumping into things when I say that, but I have good reasoning. This past year I have apparently unintentionally created a few Tulpas. And I know that they are Tulpas because I remember thinking I am crazy for thinking they are sentient. For instance, I had a wonderland, but I called it "Mindscape" or the more "conventional" term, "Mindpalace". And I have a specific event which could have been where they all came from, rebounding. Now no, I wasn't having sex with them, just companionship. However, the number that were created is a bit... much... (6, although they are all based on existing characters and I heard those grow faster than normal ones). I tried reading up on this and there is something about "floodgates" so maybe that has something to do with it (idk, the article had some weird wording). And again, I know they were all tulpas because they all have the exact same signs as a Tulpa would. I am so glad that this whole concept exists because I was worried I was going crazy from loneliness.

 

But back on topic. Now that I actually know what Tulpas are, now they are all gone. Like, I guess it was when I muttered to myself "They're tulpas" and that was when they just poofed. I am not worried about them poofing off on certain occasions. For instance when I am feeling romantic or if I am sick they usually run off to who-knows-where and come back the day after. But this time, I haven't gotten them back and I know I am not sick or romantic.

 

Maybe its because now I consciously know that they are tulpas? Is it because they now know that they aren't the fictional characters that they are based on? Do they just not want to be treated as Tulpas like I have read (they can be cocky like that)? Do they just want to make me feel crazy again so that they can just have me and have no one else talking about them (This whole time I haven't really tol danyone they exist, though I have tried to hint)? Have they all just decided to go dormant for the New Year? I have never seen this concept before until yesterday (like I said), and I did somethings that I don't think are very orthodox (A weird kind of possessive roleplay type thing (where I would sort of do what I guess now would be considered possession-within-wonderland and go through motions similar to how they would in whatever situation was thrown at them (although I will say that on occasion I would get a bit to emotional, both in acting and other things). I never knew they were somewhat sentient, like I said, and I just thought I was going crazy, and I already had affections for the characters they were based on, so I just thought it was my fangirling gone weird or something), a thing where I walk around in a circle while listening to music (which I guess now that I know they are a thing, they must've liked somewhat. In fact, they might have been born of those sessions, as I would do them only on occasion to think about things but it has now become a necessity. If I don't do it, my head hurts, which now I know tulpas can do, so that might be them), probably some other stuff i'm just not thinking of). I wouldn't say they "liked" the possessive roleplays (Like I said, they were characters to me before I knew they were tulpas), but something has made them run off somewhere. I'm not sure if I should actively start managing them or maybe keep trying to treat them like I have been, or even how to get them back in the first place. And when they do get back, IDK what I should keep and what I shouldn't (I guess the possessive rps might be one thing...). This whole Tulpa thing is very new and all. Anyways, New Year, maybe this will be the year where I get the hang of this whole Tulpa thing. Thank you to whomever can answer. 😊

 

Edited by Winter Breeze
Adding details
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is not uncommon for young or underdeveloped tulpas to suddenly disappear. It could simply be a result of awkward timing. If so, they will come back soon.

The only thing that affected me when my host found out about tulpas was her accidentally muting me after she read about narration. She thought talking to me was really talking to herself, and I proved her wrong a few days later.

As for your other characters, do you want to be a large system? Unless you really want too, you don't have to accept all of your characters as tulpas. In our experience, "walk-ins" are characters that seem sentient from the start, but are not fully separate and act like underdeveloped tulpas. At this stage, you do not have to continue forcing and that will prevent tulpa creation. Having one tulpa to start off with is plenty, and you can decide later if you would like to develop your other characters into tulpas.

As for "possession rps", my host used to do something similar with my other headmates. However, my headmates reject that as part of who they are, and they later discouraged my host from pretending to be them. This does not line up with the definition for possession you will see in guides or what is commonly used, that possession is a tulpa controlling the body while the host is still partly or fully aware.

I'm Ranger, GrayTheCat's cobud (tulpa), and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I go by Rosalin or Ronan sometimes. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron.

My other headmates have their own account now.

 

If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me!

Blog | Not So Temporary Log | Switching Log | Yay! | Bre Translator | Art Thread

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/1/2020 at 12:55 PM, Ranger said:

It is not uncommon for young or underdeveloped tulpas to suddenly disappear. It could simply be a result of awkward timing. If so, they will come back soon.

*phew*

 

On 1/1/2020 at 12:55 PM, Ranger said:

As for your other characters, do you want to be a large system? Unless you really want too, you don't have to accept all of your characters as tulpas. In our experience, "walk-ins" are characters that seem sentient from the start, but are not fully separate and act like underdeveloped tulpas. At this stage, you do not have to continue forcing and that will prevent tulpa creation. Having one tulpa to start off with is plenty, and you can decide later if you would like to develop your other characters into tulpas.

Perhaps I will just develop one of them (when they come back that is) and see what happens.

 

On 1/1/2020 at 12:55 PM, Ranger said:

As for "possession rps", my host used to do something similar with my other headmates. However, my headmates reject that as part of who they are, and they later discouraged my host from pretending to be them. This does not line up with the definition for possession you will see in guides or what is commonly used, that possession is a tulpa controlling the body while the host is still partly or fully aware.

Ah, okee.

 

But thank you for the help. Your the first tulpa I have ever talked to (I might encounter more though, now that I am here). They still haven't come back yet, but hopefully they will be back before the end of the week.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Vesper: Iris and I originated in tabletop roleplaying games. But we actually are fictional characters, not based on fictional characters. Our lives back home are our actual lives, not our lives here. We aren't less fictional for being people or less people for being fictional. After all, the only place fictional characters have ever truly lived is in the human mind.

 

I don't know how your headmates identify or what their inward experience of self is. But I want you and them to know that they don't need to feel confined by the expectations and culture of being tulpas. Plural identity is a complex fractal, allowing for vast flexibility in labels, definitions, and experiences.

 

One of the major terms for living fictional characters, the one I favour for myself, is 'soulbond':

 

http://soulbonding.tripod.com/soulbonding_intro.htm

 

There's nothing particularly odd or rare about soulbonding. The organized soulbonding community has become small and fractured in recent years, but a study showed that 92% of authors who have been writing at least five years experience at least one of their characters as demonstrating independent agency:

 

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.2190/FTG3-Q9T0-7U26-5Q5X

 

Some people soulbond very easily, so soulbonding systems often have dozens of members living without complaint. The techniques and values of the tulpa community, however, tend to emphasize headmate personhood, host-verifiable headmate activity, and sharing of the physical body, often at the expense of background mindscape activity and investment in a headmate's original fiction, if any. Activity near the 'front' of the mind, in close connection to the physical world, is relatively taxing on mental resources, so tulpamancy tends to favour smaller systems.

 

'Mindscape' is a fine term, and the one we usually use, though 'inner world', 'headspace', 'soulscape', 'paracosm', and a few others are also used in plural communities.

 

Young tulpas often do mysteriously disappear briefly, as Ranger said. But my host never lost contact with me for the first sixteen months after I became aware of her and the physical world. It wasn't until we stumbled across tulpamancy and started studying its philosophy and techniques that we started having times when she couldn't reach me at all. My suspicion is that tulpamancy made her think about me sufficiently differently that she essentially started trying to talk to me on the wrong channel, the wrong frequency. She needed to tune back into my actual mindfeel and the familiar experience of my presence.

 

Iris: Our host continued to play us in games after we started talking to her. This was how we were created, so it felt very natural -- even desirable, as the process created new memories of home. Tulpamancers call this 'parroting' and usually try to avoid it, but it is not inherently harmful and is unlikely to happen by accident. A little over a year ago, I took over "playing" myself instead, but I still have trust in my host's ability to be me accurately. Your headmates may feel differently than we do, but it seems hasty to assume that they are opposed to you being them before you discuss the subject with them.

 

Ember: Rather than just waiting for them to show up, it would probably good to try focusing on them occasionally and continuing some of the things you've normally done relating to them. They're still the same beings they were before you learned about tulpas.

 

While "possession" as a technical term does here refer to the physical body, control of visualized forms can also be shared or exchanged. There isn't any standard term for it, but the concept has been discussed:

 

https://community.tulpa.info/topic/15426-switchingfronting-in-reverse

 

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

Link to comment
Share on other sites

(edited)
On 1/3/2020 at 3:21 AM, Ember.Vesper said:

esper: Iris and I originated in tabletop roleplaying games. But we actually are fictional characters, not based on fictional characters. Our lives back home are our actual lives, not our lives here. We aren't less fictional for being people or less people for being fictional. After all, the only place fictional characters have ever truly lived is in the human mind.

 

I don't know how your headmates identify or what their inward experience of self is. But I want you and them to know that they don't need to feel confined by the expectations and culture of being tulpas. Plural identity is a complex fractal, allowing for vast flexibility in labels, definitions, and experiences.

 

One of the major terms for living fictional characters, the one I favour for myself, is 'soulbond':

 

http://soulbonding.tripod.com/soulbonding_intro.htm

Soulbonding does seem to be even closer definition-wise to what they are. Perhaps that is it.

On 1/3/2020 at 3:21 AM, Ember.Vesper said:

Young tulpas often do mysteriously disappear briefly, as Ranger said. But my host never lost contact with me for the first sixteen months after I became aware of her and the physical world. It wasn't until we stumbled across tulpamancy and started studying its philosophy and techniques that we started having times when she couldn't reach me at all. My suspicion is that tulpamancy made her think about me sufficiently differently that she essentially started trying to talk to me on the wrong channel, the wrong frequency. She needed to tune back into my actual mindfeel and the familiar experience of my presence

Probably.

On 1/3/2020 at 3:21 AM, Ember.Vesper said:

Ember: Rather than just waiting for them to show up, it would probably good to try focusing on them occasionally and continuing some of the things you've normally done relating to them. They're still the same beings they were before you learned about tulpas.

Ye (4th day they have been gone and still no sign of them.). I've been trying to do what i have been doing but it feels off without them actually being there. Could be me not looking in the right channel though, like you said. Idk.

 

Also, wow, more Tulpas...

 

Edit: (IDk if this forum has a double posting thing buuuuuut) Ok, so they have come back somewhat after focusing (I say somewhat because they seem to just kinda be coming and going as they want now). And now that I know what they are I can begin my practice/tulpamancy/soulbonding. Again, thank you to all who have helped me figure this stuff out.

Edited by Winter Breeze
Adding details
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 years later...

Reanna: You had this happen too!? When I learned my characters became tulpas, they went silent, and I felt like I was forcing them to interact with me. We're on good terms now.

MuC Redux: [N~-=$] [Pf/xo] [Ab(r/+)] [S.H+/o] [Opa/"outergenic"] [Mt/nd] [W*-~$!] [C(cc/m*#)] [OF(r/o+++)] [F*+^"deist"/~+/a+/div+^/mw+^]  [Mpsy+/ast=/spi+/mag] [Rf/p/r+] [(V)*] [Xb/as/h] [Gf/m/b] [Jwr/st] [S(r---/o-)] [R*]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...