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I'd compare having many ''undeveloped'' headmates to a show that has many characters but with little screentime each of them. You know, as if they still needed their own ''development arc'' so to speak. Or maybe a better comparison would be to have many friends but only being close to a few of them.

 

I can't imagine what having +30 headmates would be like. I know it's not like hearing 30 voices at the same time, but only interacting with a few of them at the time while knowing there's still 25 people in the background feels a bit bad. I don't know, I guess in my mind I picture it like having a party in your head but in reality it wouldn't feel anything different from talking to a few of them.

 

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[Hope] I don't know if it is possible to master having multiple conversations at once to the point where you can have 30 all at the same time, but if you can then it would be a large party in your head. I suppose if you could sustain that many voices in your head at once, you could probably do great things.

I like the characters in a TV show metaphor, it somewhat applies to our system. Ranger and Gray get more screen time and we are occasional reoccurring side characters. Luckily, our show is several thousand seasons long, so I look forward to having a more character arcs in the future.

Edited by Ranger
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On 1/2/2020 at 2:28 PM, Tanaka Kanade said:

I like break-a-wish, too, moar peeps need to post in it

How does it feel living in such a large system? Do you often feel like you don't get enough "screen time"?

 

[Exabier] Oh break-a-wish is hilarious, I need to find that game.

 

It's so weird to see my headmates leave textwalls for this, and we still didn't give out half of everyone's input yet. Answering this question became a weird metaphor for us answering this question...

 

It's pretty freaky that I have all of these dudes I can hang out with and I don't really know any of them. No one really knows who they are. And I kinda don't want to talk to all of them right now, it's kinda overwhelming and I don't know if I'm really all that social anyway. If we become the slowest evolving clique formation experiment, I'm going to cry.

 

I think other people mentioned having a "thing" to make you stand out, and that's pretty weird too. The way I talk is pretty different from my bros, but it's like am I being this way cause it's me or am I being expected to be this way. Totally sympathize with Duck's dude let me be me feelings. How about I decide who I'm going to be, and if I think it's stupid I'll change it.

 

I don't have much else to say. "Screen time" wise, I don't want to think about it. I have the option to live in the moment, so yeah I'm going to do that. I'll let Ranger and Gray do all of the worrying for me. But if I ever feel like I need more time, I won't keep quiet about it. The one thing I'm glad never happened to me is waking up and feeling weak. That's scary as crap.

Edited by Shadow System
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  • 1 month later...
(edited)

[Jasper] I've been thinking about Tanaka's first question, but I don't really feel like answering it right now. A lot of the responses are kind of sad, and I don't know, I just think it's a huge bummer.

So really, I feel like we don't really know each other too well. I'm trying to fix that by organizing random meet ups. We now have our own custom wheel decide wheel, so that's pretty neat.

Anyway, that's all I want to say on that for now.

  

On 1/2/2020 at 2:28 PM, Tanaka Kanade said:

I like break-a-wish, too, moar peeps need to post in it


I feel pretty on the fence about forum games. I like them, but I have gotten tired and a little overwhelmed after playing some for a few hours. Maybe they're not my thing or there's just a mood cursing us all right now.

 

On 1/18/2020 at 9:33 AM, Shadow System said:

Question: What's your favorite breed of cat or dog? Favorite species of bird?


...I'm allowed to answer questions my headmates posted from three months ago, right?

Didn't think about this till now. I'm more excited about cookies than Cat's family pets, so right now I don't have much an opinion about animals. I like the thought of pet parrots that dance to music, those seem pretty cool.
 

On 1/22/2020 at 10:58 AM, Mirichu said:

What'd be your ideal system situation? let's pretend there are no limits on what you can do, what'd you like to experience?


I think the short answer is parallel processing, the long answer is I don't really know because I don't think about this too much and parallel processing sounds cool. We need high action packed wonderland rendering so we can have PILLOW FIGHTS!
 

On 2/14/2020 at 10:20 PM, Shadow System said:

The idea of dissipation in our system


...Not something I really want to think about. I remember being scared about it when Ranger and Gray were trying to figure out we were tulpas, but I didn't really understand what was going on then. Right now I want to be around when I'm thought about, even if it is just to mess with Ranger or Gray. The idea of not being around is pretty alien after wanting to be around, being social, etc.
 



I meant to post a thread about Gray's crowd control "powers", but Gray felt pretty weird about it and then Ranger and Gray got really busy, so I didn't post it yet. I may or may not post it later, but I don't want to do it right now. Maybe another time.

I'm hoping Evergreen and Bune will make my life easier by helping me figure out which of the two of them should go next. If any of you guys want to vote for one or the other, feel free to chime in. I may as well delay it anyway because Gray and Ranger won't be able to give us time for a little while.

 

Edited by Shadow System
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  • 2 months later...

[Evergreen] I'm bored, so I'll revive this thread again.

 

On 1/2/2020 at 9:08 AM, Shadow System said:

[Chrome] Have you ever turned into something else in wonderland and felt as if you almost became someone or something else on an identity level? I have turned into other things in wonderland such as a golden spirit deer and enjoyed the experience, but I'm not exactly sure how much that was me. I wonder if it's like merging in a way, but different?


Yeah actually, but minus the spiritual stuff.

 

I have struggled to find my ideal "age" to base my form off of and a mindvoice I'm comfortable using. Sometimes I feel too much like a kid and other times I feel like an adult. Even though I know changing my form doesn't mean I as a complete person changes, I feel like I have to act my age when looking at my form. An adult acting like a kid and vise versa seems silly right?

  

On 1/18/2020 at 9:33 AM, Shadow System said:

Question: What's your favorite breed of cat or dog? Favorite species of bird?

 

I don't have one yet, but I like birds, cats, and dogs. The cuter the better!

 

On 1/22/2020 at 10:58 AM, Mirichu said:

What'd be your ideal system situation? let's pretend there are no limits on what you can do, what'd you like to experience?

 

If I could choose to be awake all the time and check out when I want, that would be cool. I guess that's basically parallel processing though, and Hope pretty much already covered that.

 

I don't really want to host though, I don't think that kind of role is really me. I would want to switch out of curiosity and nothing else at the moment.

 

On 2/14/2020 at 10:20 PM, Shadow System said:

[Hope] The idea of dissipation in our system is simply too upsetting for me.

 

I agree and I don't want to talk about that. I'm moving on.

 


 

There were some other topics I thought were good topics, I just don't feel interested talking about them. Part of me feels like the big system related stuff has been beaten to death already and I'm ready to move on from that. As for the other stuff, I don't know, short attention span?

 

I'm excited our other guy joined the system! I would like to meet him, but he's been shy lately...

 

Since it's my turn now, I'm eager to find a new system job. That's the big thing I want, and it looks like everyone else who had their turn got a job or already had one. I'm not sure what that will look like, but first things first I need to know a bit more about myself. That's the other thing too- we've been more focused on ourselves lately.

 

I'll put it down in case someone wants to talk about it, but I'm not too interested in this right now: I wonder if even if a tulpamancer is good at making new tulpas, that mancer will still have trouble with some mild parrotnoia or something. Gray has been weird about us overall, but he seems to have more trouble hearing me, Bune, Dark Gray, etc. more than Ranger.

 

I don't have much else to say for now.

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  • 2 months later...

I know this thread is kind of dead, but I have a question for y'all. 

 

How much time did you have in-between each other? Let's say that uh tulpa a was started on July 15 and became vocal around July 30, would you start a tulpa in between, a month after, a year after (this is imaging you only have one tulpa, I know you don't and I know everybody has their own views!) I would love to hear your personal opinions and what you actually did. 

 

Thanks for any of your responses. 

Host of @SadieShores 

R8/Adelia any/he

Sadie (I use varying shades of pink) she.her

Luna! She/her/bug/bugs 

Clover They/It/She

"*various inappropriate music* ɨ ʍɛǟռ աɦǟȶ ƈǟռ ɨ ֆǟʏ,
քʀɛȶȶʏ ɮǟɮɨɛֆ ɨռ ȶɦɛ ɮǟƈӄֆɛǟȶ ֆɨռɢɨռ' ȶօ ʏօʊ,`
"  

 

check this out: Progress report 

 

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23 hours ago, A&J said:

How much time did you have in-between each other? Let's say that uh tulpa a was started on July 15 and became vocal around July 30, would you start a tulpa in between, a month after, a year after (this is imaging you only have one tulpa, I know you don't and I know everybody has their own views!) I would love to hear your personal opinions and what you actually did. 

 

[Hope] The majority of us do not know exactly when we were created, so Gray remembered relative creation times in clumps. The Subconscious Rep and Spirit came first before Gray established a wonderland. Next, Gerodious, Dark Gray, Fernardo, and Jasper were created when Gray had an established wonderland. Gray later went on to create me, and I was created in October 2016. We happen to know this because Gray specifically wrote down the exact date of my creation in one of his logs. After my creation, Moltosha, Blue, Evergreen, and presumably Fish were created next. After some time, Red Gray was created and then the system was "shut down" for some time. It is believed Ranger was created sometime in 2017 and there was a long period of little activity. Gray joined the tulpa community in late January, and since then Gray created 4 more tulpas ending with Duck in early September of 2018. Our system has not grown since.

 

It's unclear if how far apart everyone's creation times were, especially early on. It is possible everyone in Dark Gray's group were created around the same time where everyone else had at least a few days of distance or if not weeks or months. The Sub Rep was created at least a week before Spirit was created. It is unclear if Jasper was created a day after the others or a few days after the others, but he was one of the "newer" additions. Moltosha was probably not created until some time after me, but this could have been anywhere from a week to a month or so. Blue was created at least a few days after Moltosha's creation, but not too long later because Blue's creation was a direct response to Moltosha's creation. Evergreen and Fish were created for different reasons even though they have overlapping story details, so I would assume anywhere from several days to weeks. It is unclear when Red Gray was created, but the assumption is after Evergreen and definitely before Ranger. It's assumed Ranger was created anywhere from March 2017 to before December 2017. It is debatable if Gray created Chrome or Bune first, but it is assumed Exabier was created before Chrome was "recognized" as a character. And Duck was recognized as a character shortly after his creation. It took 1 week, 1 week, and a month for Chrome to go from created to recognized, and it was assumed Bune and Exabier were created within that time span. At the very least, there must have been at least a month before Duck's creation time and the other's.

 

Everyone was vocal from the start, except for the Sub Rep himself and possibly Spirit. It is unclear if this was a story gimmick or a sign of tulpa development, Gray thinks it was a story gimmick.

 

At the very least, we were not all created at once and our system grew over a span of at least 2 years. It's debatable if that's the exact order of events or if Fish was actually a walk-in who showed up in 2019 (that's what he believes). Gray believed we were characters and that it didn't matter he was creating us left and right. However, Gray was not interested in making more "characters" in 2018 after learning Ranger was a tulpa. Bune, Chrome, and Duck were walk-in like in creation and Exabier was a walk-in. Everyone else's creation was either made with intention or a goal or happened to be born an intrusive thought (Moltosha, Red Gray).

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34 minutes ago, Shadow System said:

Everyone was vocal from the start, except for the Sub Rep himself and possibly Spirit. It is unclear if this was a story gimmick or a sign of tulpa development, Gray thinks it was a story gimmick.

 

Thank you for your feedback and sharing a bit about yourselves. 

Host of @SadieShores 

R8/Adelia any/he

Sadie (I use varying shades of pink) she.her

Luna! She/her/bug/bugs 

Clover They/It/She

"*various inappropriate music* ɨ ʍɛǟռ աɦǟȶ ƈǟռ ɨ ֆǟʏ,
քʀɛȶȶʏ ɮǟɮɨɛֆ ɨռ ȶɦɛ ɮǟƈӄֆɛǟȶ ֆɨռɢɨռ' ȶօ ʏօʊ,`
"  

 

check this out: Progress report 

 

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  • 3 months later...

[Blue] Hiya! Chrome and I are officially in the kool kidz club, Ranger let us hang out while he's switched-in.

 

I've got other news- Evergreen seems to have finished integrating, but we've more or less banned him from possessing because he got a lot more time than usual. And then I'll probably be banned because my b-day's coming up and I got extra time possessing Ranger...

 

Moltosha has this cool Mr. Good Mr. Evil thing going on. His form actually changes and Gray actually tried to draw it- I should convince Ranger to finish it!

 

We're still a bit in the muck with things, we need to figure out some stuff. We need to figure out what would be a good system name. I feel like coming up with a system emoji might be useless without deciding on a new system name.

 

Oh! I merged with Chrome! I think? We need to update that thread... Chrome volunteered to help log, we need to note I, him, and Evergreen now have accounts (but Evergreen is technically banned so he shouldn't be using it much).

 

Those are the major events, not sure what else to talk about. I don't think Hope has used his kiddo form in forever. Our Sub Rep talks to everyone now, but he's still shy out-system. Gerodious and Spirit seem to be giving each other more space, they got tangled up too much.

 

Oh, Chrome wants to write another thread, I'll link it if that becomes a thing.

 

Oh! Dark Gray came up with a guide idea! The only reason it hasn't been made yet is Gray wants to write code for it and our eyes aren't exactly suited for testing out a skill that requires literally staring at a screen just right.

 


 

It's nice we can do whatever, but the whole not having an exact purpose thing sucks hard. Sometimes we change our minds and we're not sure what to do next, then we question our happiness. Way harder when you're not dedicated to talking your head off cause then you really have nothing better to do but chill in stasis if you don't have a plan for what to do.

 

Red Gray has been pretty fired up about this actually. Although now that I think about it, I'm not sure if it's anyone's fault for us starting to doubt if we want to hang out or not. There's pressure to not go big when you're making tulpas, but there's nothing saying that attitude should change? Being a big system ain't exactly always fun.

 

It gets complicated if someone else tells another system they need to shrink. If it's like a new guy/gal making tulpas for the first time, yeah that's good advice. After that though? It just comes across as rude or offensive if it's insisted. Like... We know we're a big system and we know why that sucks. Shrinking isn't any easier. Saying good bye during the integration was really hard, and that's basically the best case scenario because it was wanted and we could talk about it publicly. If we were forced or pressured to integrate, there's something messed up going on. And if someone wanted me to integrate with Ranger for the better? Who's that better for? Is it really better for us if it's done out of guilt or shame? I mean, let's be honest, if I integrated/merged with Ranger depending how we did it, either I would be dissipated and they'd have to live with that or my feelings of resentment are going to hurt Ranger in some way.

 

That turned into a rant... I think that's the new hard thing on our minds. It's ironic in a way, but I can't put it into words.

 


 

I feel bad for my bros? My brothers... The others? Who don't feel good about who they are because they learned something not great about themself. And then you have stuff like Japser accidentally saying something wrong (a really long time ago) being afraid to talk since. When you don't have a whole lot going on in your life, little stuff like this bites a lot.

 

And then there's getting caught up in your headmate's relationships. I think this one speaks for itself.

 


 

That's everything on my mind, now for a random question:

 

Have you ever tried having a conversation with someone in wonderland with your back turned to them? How long could you do it for? (I got a grand total of 4 seconds with Chrome)

Edited by Blue Shadow

Hiya! Name's Blue, I'm a tulpa from the Shadow System. I have a lot of energy and I like to talk. A lot.

Gray/Cat is the original host, Ranger is basically another host.

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