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So I'm not new to tulpamancy. I have had tulpa ever since I was 6 years old- so approximately 14 years. I've loved and cherished them all this time, and only found out last year what they truly were. Or so I thought. I want to run how my tulpa operate past other people and get their opinions- are they really tulpa? I have been doing research into Daemons, Soulbonders, wonderlands, and many other topics, and it strongly has me rethinking everything.
To start off, albeit that I am not new to the concept, I seem to not have much practice. When I read about tulpa, I read about fronting, taking over (tulpa coming through the body to interact with the outside world). However, that does not occur with my tulpa. They have done it, maybe once, and I was not "taking a back seat" when they did it. So I'm very confused, to say the least. They function on their own, they have their own wills and personalities, they have their own hobbies, even their own relationships with other tulpa. Everyone of them works well with others, even if their personalities clash sometimes. The only quarrels I have are with "walk-ins"? I'm not sure what to call them, but every so often we get a stray entity that comes around, friend or foe, and doesn't stay long. Sometimes they cause mayhem, other times they sit down and heave tea with my boys before leaving again. I have approximately 25 tulpa as well, excluding those that occasionally come around but are still permanent. (i.e. i have a group of 3 werewolves that I see and talk with every few months)
Another thing is, I don't see "see" them, in my physical space around me. I feel the spatially, and visualize them that way. Sometimes their appearances change, alter, or warp. Sometimes they are clear and defined, when I have good days, but other times they truly feel like wispy spirits just nearby, not full entities.
I'm really distraught right now because I don't know what to call them. I don't know what to look up for research. I don't know what to practice first. I don't know how to approach anything right now, because for the past 14 years I've just head them as friends in my head, who I talk with and are their own people, but I can't feel them that well.
If anyone can offer any advice it's greatly appreciated, I will also answer any question people throw at me. Thank you all for your time.
Edit: I really need help figuring out what or who my "first" tulpa was...he's a complete mystery.
this is basically the endgoal for me switching out, i want to be able to experience the headspace while someone else fronts in meatspace. im just wondering if there any any guides out there for this process, if anyone has done it or if its even possible to do
It's a topic that has been discussed on and off, but I think it deserves its own thread. I am really curious what this is like because even though we can switch, the concept does not make much sense to me.
I have heard the following rough explanation, usually with the context of teaching switching: It is like having your body sit by itself with a quiet mind, all of the normal fronters are heavily dissociated. It still breathes and is awake, but not really aware. The most complicated thing the body can do in this state is scratch an itch.
Part of the problem is our need to label everything as either switching or not. Everything is either Cat switched-in, or me switched-in, and that is to protect ourselves against losing possession and maintain good switching hygiene. The most dissociated we ever get while switching is during our consent ritual when talking to each other about how we feel and our switching plan, but after that we move onto affirming the switched-in identity and associating. By that point, the switch is complete.
The moments Cat and I feel the most dissociated seems to be when we are thinking the most. We do a lot of talking during our consent ritual. Plus, when Cat is sucked into one of her story ideas, she isn't paying attention to the body but can also hop up and run downstairs for dinner as soon as she's called. Therefore, the idea of dissociating with a quiet mind that isn't meditation doesn't make sense to us.
It's also entirely possible we have experienced an empty front multiple times and simply never acknowledged it as having an empty front. When we switch, it feels like nothing has happened until I move around and notice the changes. It's possible having an empty front feels the same way, only I'm not aware enough to notice any changes.
On a separate note, I have heard of having an empty front for too long can be dangerous because it could lead to headmate creation. I am aware of at least one system who gained extra headmates because all of them left the front empty for too long. However, I am unsure if having an empty front could have any other negative side effects. When Cat was feeling depressed not too long ago, she kept trying to escape to her story ideas and would asleep for 30 min - 1 hour or so multiple times. This gave her a splitting headache from excessive visualization and it made her feel really groggy and "brain scrambled". Would having an empty front create similar symptoms?
1) What is is like for your system to have an empty front?
2) Do you think we have experienced an empty front or not?
3) Do you think having an empty front for too long is problematic?
4) Do you enjoy the experience?
Lumi suggested that this topic was better suited for BQ than LOTPW, so here we are!
Many switching systems report that when they first start switching, the tulpa feels incredibly tired after a few hours of switching in. This fatigue can almost entirely be eliminated by having the tulpa switch out, and seems to reset after a good night's sleep. However, many switching systems work up to the point where the tulpa can switch for a whole day without becoming tired. My question is: how long does this take? How much switching practice do you need before switching-related fatigue disappears?
After less than two week's practice, Cornelia was able to switch from about 7:30 to 5:30, though she got tired wayyyy before she switched out. My guess is that getting yourself to six hours without tiredness can be done in a couple of weeks, but getting it up to a full day could be a matter of months