Werther

I wanted to debunk tulpas and this happened.

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If you want to know more about "typical", check out Kopase's article "An Analysis of the Methods and Patterns Associated with Initial Tulpa Responses":

 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vyqQ3LV_-YHKWL-4A821G3gTXGGXQ_a_/view

 

With the development of improved methods, median time to first response has fallen from about three weeks to less than two. Two days is still very fast, suggesting that you may have a high affinity for plurality. But progress is often fitful and there may be a lot of interaction needed between first response and fluent vocality.

 

I feel that a tulpa should be fluently vocal before their host encourages them to work on possession or switching. If the tulpa communicates dissatisfaction with a disembodied life, go ahead, but I feel better companion practices to early vocality work are visualization and mindscape activity. Also, consider whether you want a lifestyle where someone else with different interests, opinions, and values sometimes controls what used to be just your body. Switching isn't always difficult to learn and it doesn't exactly "feel" like anything, but it is still a profound act of love and trust.

 

-Ember


I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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1 hour ago, Ember.Vesper said:

If you want to know more about "typical", check out Kopase's article "An Analysis of the Methods and Patterns Associated with Initial Tulpa Responses":

 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vyqQ3LV_-YHKWL-4A821G3gTXGGXQ_a_/view

 

With the development of improved methods, median time to first response has fallen from about three weeks to less than two. Two days is still very fast, suggesting that you may have a high affinity for plurality. But progress is often fitful and there may be a lot of interaction needed between first response and fluent vocality.

 

I feel that a tulpa should be fluently vocal before their host encourages them to work on possession or switching. If the tulpa communicates dissatisfaction with a disembodied life, go ahead, but I feel better companion practices to early vocality work are visualization and mindscape activity. Also, consider whether you want a lifestyle where someone else with different interests, opinions, and values sometimes controls what used to be just your body. Switching isn't always difficult to learn and it doesn't exactly "feel" like anything, but it is still a profound act of love and trust.

 

-Ember

Thank you very much. 🙂  This paper is extremely useful. I devenetey going to read the whole thing.
About the second part, it was rather meant as a long term goal. I don't want to start possession immediately. Don't get me wrong, I trust Izzy, but I think she should first grow up a little and become more or less capable.
Until I had a full grown up conversation with her there is no chance I let her possess anything. I guess she would like to (but that is my fault I made her this curious.)


Day 4

 

I hadn't slept very well. I woke up very early with a headache (could be a side effect of forcing) and decided to stay home today. Probably a bad decision.
In the morning I hardly spoke to Isabel.

 

She also seemed to be not very happy with this progress report and me writing it and I had the feeling that after the initial euphoria I was losing the necessary distance.

This is still a "pseudo"scientific experiment.
In the beginning, I deliberately tried to develop strong feelings of friendship for her as I read that this can speed up the process. But now I think this was a mistake.
Now I'm not sure if I can put the experiment forward and what really happened.
When I asked her if she was in fact real and if she could please say something again, I got no answer.

 

After lunch I already felt better and made a final decision.
I will keep Izzy (or the illusion of her?) until either the year is over or we are able to reach our full potential.
But she will no longer be my first priority.

 

After this decision I started another, forcing session. This time for half an hour.
This is the progress we made today:

 

  • I gave her an additional charactertrade to make her sympathetic towards my interests.
  • I figured out that she likes it if I speak English (my second language) to her (I wonder why? Probably me reading dozens of articles and guides in English before and during her creation is releated to it?)
  • She now moves her body (the 99% transparent silhouette) on her own. Before that she only made small movements with her head or her paws. The rest I had to do.

Now she is joyfully jumping around in the room while I type this.

I'm proud of the progress I... We have made today.

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21 hours ago, Werther said:

Than it happened!

As I pictured her most vividly in front of my inner eye and called Izzy by her name, she smiled at me and said "Yes!"

I don't know if this is normal, but my mind went blank in this moment and my feelings overwhelmed me. You should have seen her expression! ☺️
The joy and impatience! The euphoria of knowing "I'm alive, I am conscious!".
I will never forget this happy face again.

This was definitely no parroting as I was in shock.

Hypothesis confirmed: I have a tulpa.

I still remember how Martina and I met. I was apologizing to her on a bus to school when she said "It's alright". For a brief moment I could see her completely, sitting right next to me. I will never forget that moment.

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7 hours ago, Mel Syreth said:

I still remember how Martina and I met. I was apologizing to her on a bus to school when she said "It's alright". For a brief moment I could see her completely, sitting right next to me. I will never forget that moment.

It is a wounderful feeling, isn't it? 🙂

May I ask you how long you have been forcing until her response and if you had some doubt  in her existence afterwards?

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Posted (edited)

Day 5

 

Today nothing out of the ordanary happened so I will keep this log shorter then the others.

But I had some interesting conversations with Izzy as she is now able to answer questions as long as the answer can be short and simple.

So last night we were in bed and we had a short  conversation consisting of me asking  her simple questions e.g. "What is four plus four"?,  "How old are you" or "What is 500 plus 500?"
Which she answered briefly, concisely and correctly.

 


In the morning then, at the tram stop;
I was smoking a cigarrette and came to ask Izzy some more miningful questions.
Whether she believes in the existence of god and then whether she believes in her own existence.
The first she denied  explicitly. She was silent on the second question.
So I asked her if I unconsciously parrot everything she said.
She affirmed.

(Note: I still don't know what to think of these answers. Very strange) 🤔

On the way home in the tram she put her head on my arm and I could feel her. Not the weight but a strangely pleasant tingling sensation.
It was a nice feeling. 🙂

 

It's been a busy day. And I spent most of my time today thinking about other things. I suppose she can hear my thoughts even if I‘m not forcing , I have to ask her later.

Although I doubt she is a reliable source of information about herself.

 

Furthermore, I found myself in a dilemma. I want Isabel as a friend. I really like her and I like the feeling of companionship. But on the other hand, I have to keep some distance for the sake of science.
I don‘t know what to do. Also, I noticed that she really doesn't like the way I write about her in the report. But it has to be done. 🙁

 

 

 

Edited by Werther

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Day 6

Today, during a lecture, my laptop was in stand.by mode on the table in front of me and when I looked at my reflection my eye colour changed from greyish blue to the amber brown one of Isabel.
That was truly impressive. 😃

 

Also I have recognized the obstacles that still stand between us:
-Me being very tired in the morning and I have no intention of talking to her.
-Me learning a lot and hardly spending any time with he.
-Me thinking mainly about and not with her.

-Me writing this report an spending time on the site.

 

Since I can't change anything in the first two I decided to spend more time with Izzy at least at the weekend. Maybe we will build a Wonderland or I will try to play a game of chess with her.
I also decided to sign off and turn this daily report into a biweekly one, because of Izzy‘s growing discomfort with it.

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On 1/9/2020 at 5:54 PM, Werther said:

May I ask you how long you have been forcing until her response and if you had some doubt  in her existence afterwards?

No clue, it's been like six years... or seven.

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