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Need help with an invasive tulpa


Ice_M

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One problem with this intrusive thoughtform is that it pretty much never shuts up and talks 24/7. When I try to think to myself in my mindvoice (you know, interlocution), it attempts to cover it up with static or its own voice. In addition, it somehow has the ability to replace my inner voice with it's inner voice. This aspect can feel very confusing. I don't know how it works, if its replacing my mindvoice, or overlaying its own voice over it, but doing something like reading to myself in my own inner voice is a struggle.

 

Also, it's not that certain activities summon it, it's more like it's around and active 24/7. In addition, another post mentioned talking to it sustains it. Could someone further explain what is meant by sustaining it?

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1 hour ago, Ice_M said:

One problem with this intrusive thoughtform is that it pretty much never shuts up and talks 24/7. When I try to think to myself in my mindvoice (you know, interlocution), it attempts to cover it up with static or its own voice. In addition, it somehow has the ability to replace my inner voice with it's inner voice. This aspect can feel very confusing. I don't know how it works, if its replacing my mindvoice, or overlaying its own voice over it, but doing something like reading to myself in my own inner voice is a struggle.

 

Also, it's not that certain activities summon it, it's more like it's around and active 24/7. In addition, another post mentioned talking to it sustains it. Could someone further explain what is meant by sustaining it?


With that context, I'm starting to wonder if there's more to the story here...

Even with my host having depression, she never had an intrusive thought she couldn't get away from. I'm curious how this formed, because I feel like I'm missing some important context.

I'm Ranger, GrayTheCat's cobud (tulpa), and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I go by Rosalin or Ronan sometimes. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron.

My other headmates have their own account now.

 

If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me!

Blog | Not So Temporary Log | Switching Log | Yay! | Bre Translator | Art Thread

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There was no point at which I ever thought this sounded like an "intrusive thoughtform". I've had to swat down intrusive thoughts now and then, but once swatted, they stay swatted. I don't see an intrusive thought becoming a persistant persecutor. I also don't know how much hypnosis can actually accomplish, especially subliminal messages hidden in hypnosis. This sounds like an implausibly strong effect from hypnosis. But it does sound very familiar to me.

 

One of the alters, C., of my wives' system was persecuted unmercifully for decades by another alter, T., an alter of hatred and rage. T. never stopped lashing out in omnicidal nihilist fury, desiring nothing but revenge against the world for the harm done to her as a helpless child. She wasn't always strongly present, but she was usually present to some degree, driving C. to despair, including a suicide attempt. She didn't require attention to be active. She would say every hurtful, threatening, and defeatest thing she could think of to C., trying to make her give up. None of it had to be true or self-consistent. C.'s coping strategy was to stay busy -- always talking, always acting, never still, always trying to distract from the hostile voice in her head. C. often suffered confusion and cloudiness of mind as well when dealing with T, though not perceived physical interaction.

 

Alters have their own memories to sustain them, so they don't dissipate. They can be forced into dormancy sometimes. They can also slip into dormancy for years at a time, even for no clear reason. But even the most vicious alters are still, at root, people who have been traumatized. Many omnicidal alters have been reached by therapy and become kinder, gentler people.

 

If the techniques suggested by other posters help you, that's fine. But if they don't, the next step, if at all possible, would be to talk to a therapist about the problem and see if you have a dissociative disorder. If you do, you may eventually need to work with a therapist specializing in them.

 

Since you asked about other forums, you might take a look at this one:

 

https://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/

 

-Ember

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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Even though I'm aware alters can be confused for intrusive thoughts, I don't think it's a good idea to assume that's the next step. We're not doctors, and DID is often confused for lots of other things.

 

Going to a doctor and describing what's going on and not what label you think you have is the best way to get an accurate diagnosis. What you're describing may not be DID at all, maybe you're taking something we're not aware of or you have something else like schizoaffective disorder. I wanted to ask for more information, but at this point you're best off seeing a medical professional who is qualified to help you.

Edited by Ranger

I'm Ranger, GrayTheCat's cobud (tulpa), and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I go by Rosalin or Ronan sometimes. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron.

My other headmates have their own account now.

 

If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me!

Blog | Not So Temporary Log | Switching Log | Yay! | Bre Translator | Art Thread

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