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Miri and Miichu's Journey


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Guest
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I still don't fully understand what you mean. We think it's mostly realizations. Take DID, if we do have it (doubts again) then it was there since we were a kid, it didn't magically appeared once we realized it. Same with trauma, always there, we just didn't know. To be fair, it all went downhill this summer when we found out about childhood trauma, plus, we were already having a hard time with some recent trauma so that caused a massive mental breakdown.

 

As for Akai, it was a mix of antipsychotics and us realizing she never seemed as real as me for a reason. Maybe I am an alter and she's a tulpa and that's why. Or maybe Miri won the game of tulpamancy with me and lost it with Akai.

 

Oh yeah I forgot. Last night I toyed with the DID theory for our system and tried to, sheesh, talk to whoever is in our head besides Miri and I. I told them to not be afraid and that they were welcome to front and write something if they wanted it. After that I said goodnight and heard a goodnight back that didn't come out any of us, it was pretty alien and foreign but I went to bed. Now, I vaguely remember waking up and feeling energy across my body, like powerful zaps, but I assumed it was medication withdrawal, so I didn't care. Today I realized that this specific medicine stays in the body for 2 days so it couldn't have been withdrawal symptoms. So... ???

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Guest
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Wohoo, I managed to switch out again! Miri decided to front this morning and fall asleep herself to see if she would wake up fronting (we failed to fall asleep) but unlike my host, I felt like I was falling asleep and was weaker than usual, so I eventually blacked out for a few seconds. Then after around 40 minutes, I switched in again and felt a very powerful rush of senses, as if it was the first time I was feeling them in a while, then realized I did dissociate from my senses while Miri didn't. This is huge breakthrough as I thought I had lost my ability to do so.

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Guest
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Life is doing well. We forgot about dissociation, trauma, etc etc and guess what? it stopped being an issue. We haven't dissociated since who knows how long, not a single anxiety or panic attack, it's so chill in our head right now. And I wonder how much of it was self-suggestion or focusing too hard on it, I remember we used to read a lot of information about it and basically, became obsessed, which is not right.

 

Now we're focusin a lot on real life, doing things like studying, drawing, spending time with partner or hanging out with friends. We wanna get our driver license and learn Swedish before the end of this year, so that is taking a lot of time from us, which means distractions from whatever is going on in our head.

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