Ravii

Ravii's Tulpa Diary

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8 hours ago, Ravii said:

But I guess the reason why he’s able to speak a lot is because he’s been practicing for himself. At least, that’s what I heard from him, and I’m super proud of him for doing that.

 

Keith took me somewhere that I didn’t make and wasn’t aware of, outside of the usual wonderland space we hang out in. This was a huge surprise for me and I feel like it was also a huge step in Keith's sentience.

 

Did he do these things on his own without you being aware of it? if yes, then that'd require your brain to be able to parallel process which (at least us) believe to not be possible or at least really hard to achieve. But some people have reported similar experiences where their tulpas were doing something completely outside of their awareness. I'd suggest that you take with a grain of salt what a tulpa does outside your focus or 'behind your back'. Not saying that you should dismiss every 'surprise' your tulpa has for you, it's just that sometimes it can lead to mindsets like the tulpa being active in wonderland without the host awareness. Which could eventually lead to the host using it as an excuse to not spend more time with their tulpas. Not saying that's your case, just that it can happen.

 

If no, then just ignore all of the above I guess lol

 

8 hours ago, Ravii said:

Like, I can’t just let Keith think for himself after asking the question. I had to constantly remind him and even myself on what the question was asking. I guess this is how young Tulpas are?

 

Maybe it'd be better if you let him think for himself, even if he doesn't remember very well what it was asking. If you can remember what the question was, then it's safe to assume he can too. I can't think of a better way for a tulpa to develop than thinking for themselves.

 

8 hours ago, Ravii said:

I’m super excited! Again, I’m not sure if this was my subconscious just spitting the first images that came to it’s mind at me or if it was Keith, or if it was Keith “borrowing” my subconscious and throwing images and words at me. What do you guys think?

 

It could have been Keith borrowing the images the brain is creating on its own and acknowledging them as his own. If you're not really sure, maybe try this same thing but without Keith to see it it feels different.

 


Hello, I'm Mirichu, although you can call me Miichu, and I'm the main fronter of this system.

The others are Miri, who's the original host and co-fronts with me and Akai, but she doesn't talk much here.

Progress Report and my Art Thread

________________

Waka Waka x3

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Congratulations, Ravii! Sounds like you're doing well. Excitement is good. Having fun is a wonderful encouragement to keep going.

 

12 hours ago, Ravii said:

But I guess the reason why he’s able to speak a lot is because he’s been practicing for himself. At least, that’s what I heard from him, and I’m super proud of him for doing that.

 

Keith took me somewhere that I didn’t make and wasn’t aware of, outside of the usual wonderland space we hang out in. This was a huge surprise for me and I feel like it was also a huge step in Keith's sentience.

 

A lot of tulpas have reported doing things outside the awareness of the host and the front. It's best to accept such things uncritically, in case belief is a component of having the experience. It's a wonderful, remarkable thing when it happens, even though it doesn't in any way get the host off the hook for making time to spend with their tulpas.

 

12 hours ago, Ravii said:

Like, I can’t just let Keith think for himself after asking the question. I had to constantly remind him and even myself on what the question was asking. I guess this is how young Tulpas are?

 

It may be how young systems are. You're developing new skills as well, remember. Early on, we would sometimes be deep in conversation, then suddenly both forget what we were talking about. We grew out of it with lots and lots of practice.

 

12 hours ago, Ravii said:

Again, I’m not sure if this was my subconscious just spitting the first images that came to it’s mind at me or if it was Keith, or if it was Keith “borrowing” my subconscious and throwing images and words at me. What do you guys think?

 

As we have often said to one another about ambiguous experiences, "Tulpamancy means never knowing for sure." You might try framing your experiences in whatever mindset seems most conducive to further growth.

 

-Ember

 


I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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Hello hello, it's been a while xD A ton of stuff happened between the last PR post and now.

Basically, I got very sick after the last PR post, got back on my feet and active forced everyday for 30min for 4 days but got out of it cuz school was getting overwhelming, then the University shut down and moved all classes online until April due to the Coronavirus (which, mind you, I'm a studio arts major and studio classes ain't gonna work online -_- and also I doubt they'll resume classes on April since there's no way this situation is going to get any better by then) aaaaaannd... now we're here :// It actually really sucks and I've been pretty bummed about the University shutting down, since all the events, lab/studio/performance classes, group projects, school trips and study abroads are just not happening anymore. Anyway, I'm gonna cut it here before I go deeper into rants and personal life stuff. And hey, at least my midterm bio exam is open-note now.

 

There hasn't been much progress on my tulpa journey either since I haven't been passive or active forcing as much as I have been before I got sick. It's just been the usual, "feeling overwhelmed with happiness sometimes when Keith and I are both happy" and "talking to Keith whenever I can". Nothing has changed in the wonderland either; the only thing new I found out was that Keith doesn't like junk food. I do feel like I've been getting better distinguishing Keith's voice with mine and also with the constant doubt I had, though. I'm taking things way more rationally and calmly now, like "was that my subconscious talking to me? Cool! Was it Keith? Even better!" without being unnecessarily serious and confused about who's voice is who's. I feel like I'm taking everything with a grain of salt in a good way and believing whenever I can. This is probably because my brain shifted from the "I want a tulpa as soon as possible!!" to "I know I'll get him if I keep working on him and I'm excited for the day I do."

Luckily, since the University shut down 2 days ago, I can start to focus on my personal work a little more (like tulpaforcing!) rather than constant schoolwork. As of now (excluding the days that I didn't tulpaforce at all) I'm 27 days in. I'll keep you guys updated on any other progress I make. Until then, happy tulpa forcing!


Tulpa_sig_2.png.758720753c520f9416d67db0782cb459.png 𝗥𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗶 | 𝗞𝗲𝗶𝘁𝗵 Tulpa_sig_1.png.f52c8bc127a1fea47a18d98b91ae3de3.png

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Oh, I was wondering where you went, glad to hear from you. And I see you guys got your classes cancelled too because of the outbreak, that sucks, we did so too. Hope it all works out.


Hello, I'm Mirichu, although you can call me Miichu, and I'm the main fronter of this system.

The others are Miri, who's the original host and co-fronts with me and Akai, but she doesn't talk much here.

Progress Report and my Art Thread

________________

Waka Waka x3

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Hey I was just about to post my reply on your previous post, haha! Hold on, here it is:

"Thank you so much for the reply and advice, Mirichu!

I will keep all of those in mind ^^ Also, I tried some "continue this story" exercise without Keith and lord and behold it worked! lol It did feel pretty different though, like I wasn't getting ideas and images as smoothly and freely as I did when I let Keith do it.

It was kind of interesting, when I was doing this with Keith I would get bad and irrational ideas about the story sometimes, but when I did it on my own, it was like my brain was preventing that from happening. Like my brain knew they were bad ideas even before they came to my conscious mind so they just shut it out. This caused a very blocky train of thought and I kept getting constant writer's block. This doesn't really happen when I write stories on my own, though 🤔"

 

19 minutes ago, Mirichu said:

And I see you guys got your classes cancelled too because of the outbreak, that sucks, we did so too. Hope it all works out.

Yeah, it really does suck :// A lot of students are also really angry because a whole month of no face-to-face classes means half their tuition is going to waste.

I really hope it all works out too.


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Hello! It's me again 😆

 

So after the last post, I didn't active force for a while, in fact I actually kinda drifted from the whole tulpa idea for about a week and a half. I just came back to it again around a week ago with some new ideas to aid me in my tulpa forcing journey.

I noticed I can't really active force for long periods of time (my limit is usually around 40min) because active forcing makes me super sleepy. This is probably because I'm usually too relaxed or I'm too concentrated that my mind just tires out really quickly. This makes active forcing before bedtime ideal, but I don't really like the feeling of drifting off during active forcing because my imagination just wanders off in different places. So I decided to set up reminders that'll go off every 2 hours, starting at 12pm to 6pm, to active force for at least 10-15min. I know that it's recommended to go for at least 30min to help you get further into trance, but this will add up to around 40-60min a day which is way better than nothing and having no motivation to active force since it'll make me too sleepy. I'm basically in quarantine now because everything is closed so this schedule has been pretty easy to keep up with and I think it's working well so far.

I also made a word document just for me and Keith to record progress, exercises, snippets of guides and quotes that helped, videos that helped and so on, which has proven to be very very useful to both of us.

 

That being said, I think I can hold a conversation with Keith pretty well now. A general conversation, nothing too thoughtful, but that's definitely a good step. Every response from him is definitely from him. I might make a thread similar to the Fiora vocality project just to help Keith with his vocality a little more. (He likes the color pink so I'll probably let him talk in that color haha) I've noticed that anything that makes him think (like some creative vocality exercises) really does help him grow. Our next step is to both strengthen his independence from my thoughts/subconscious and to, hopefully, get him to talk first rather than me.

We even tried possession just because I wanted to know what it felt like and we got to the point where he could lift a finger 1cm off the table, which was kinda cool!

 

So yeah, I don't know what else to write other than things have been going pretty well haha. I started the tulpa journey on February 3rd so it's almost 2 months since I created Keith, woah :0

I don't really have any questions either so I'll end it here and update you guys again in the future. Until then, happy tulpa forcing!


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Posted (edited)

Ok, long mess of a PR coming ahead. I’m going to go into detail of what has been happening that I didn’t include in the last response.

 

Vocality

It’s funny because something just literally sort of “clicked” for us a few days ago.

Although there are times or days that it's hard to hear him, overall I can hear him pretty well now and even usually tell when the spoken words were just from my subconscious and weren't from Keith. It took 1 month and a half – 2 months to start hearing him officially which I would say is amazing progress considering the fact that I’ve been quite on and off about active forcing and the concept in general.

 

The Japanese tulpa community! :0 :

I’m actually half Japanese and I’ve been exploring the Japanese tulpa community here and there, and let me tell you, it’s pretty interesting. I actually didn’t know a tulpa community in Japan existed until I talked to a Japanese user on tulpa.info.

The whole tulpa concept is quite different in Japan and it’s pretty spiritually based. 

Wonderland is called the “Dive world” and, active forcing, or the process of going into the wonderland to talk to your tulpa is called “dive”, but it isn’t essential in the tulpa making process. In order to make a tulpa, you’ll have to give them a form, give them a personality, and basically parrot them in your head until they start responding automatically. Diving is also considered an out-of-body experience to many people.

But the most interesting thing that I've found, though, is the concept of 暴走 (bousou) or "tulpas going out of control" and switching out with the host to harm the hosts life. In Tulpa.info and many other tulpa communities, tulpas going out of control and switching with the host is believed to be impossible and with good scientific reason to back it up. But in the Japanese community, it's found to be possible, and it's one of the feared experiences throughout tulpamancers.

There's one infamous story on the Japanese forums that a guy actually experienced this phenomenon and had to go to the hospital (or a mental ward? it didn't specify which) because of it. The story is that the tulpamancer became so obsessed with his tulpa that he started to behave like the tulpa, so the man then got scared that the tulpa is influencing him so much. He actually developed something similar to DID where his out-of-control invasive tulpa has switched with the host and inflicted violence on people near him. Apparently the host had no memory of it afterwards. His explanation/hypothesis was that his fear seeped through his subconscious to the tulpa and turned the tulpa evil, but scientifically there is no way you can develop something common to DID just by tulpaforcing (or at least that's my understanding, I'm no means an "expert" on the subject so please take everything I say with a light heart) so I believe that this man had some underlying mental disorder that tulpaforcing perhaps "brought out"?? Or maybe he was just lying overall to scare people, I don't know. Either way, it was another interesting tulpa creepypasta to read.

 

Imposition:

The idea of imposition in the Japanese community was very strong. Apparently, imposition is one of the "norms" in the Japanese tulpamancy community, as in, you should probably do it if you have a tulpa. This is where I got the idea to start working on imposition a little. I got more and more interested in the concept as I continued to read multiple posts about it. I tried it, and I could see him pretty well in my minds-eye, but I’ve noticed that I had trouble visualizing his height. Because of this, I decided to make a tiny solid-black creature he could shapeshift into for the sole purpose of practicing imposition.
 

919213315_ScreenShot2020-04-03at22_58_40.png.3b60161dacde2abde87fb4dd0c74b9d2.png

 

Cute, huh? I like this design a lot xD

This will allow me to impose him wherever I want him to. It’s especially helpful since I can keep an eye on him when I’m on my laptop (which is, basically, all the time) by imposing him on the table next to my laptop.

Imposing him helped me talk to him as well. There are times where I can’t focus on talking to him in my head, but when I vision him right in front of me next to my laptop as this cute little creature, I can easily focus and talk to him, whenever I want.

 

Possession:

We’re kind of leaving possession to the side at the moment. We got to the point where he could move my hands to type a little, but every time I come back from it I slightly blend(?) with him. There are some times where I get very confused and my mind process goes: “Ok, these are my hands now, I’m in control of it. Well, no, you might be… or, actually, wait, this isn’t me or you, who’s moving my hands????” and then I get slightly scared about my hands moving on its own or somebody else who I’m not aware of taking over lol. Did any of you had any experiences similar to that? I’m curious.

Also letting him type takes a lot of mental power from the both of us. Since I’m kind of forcefully moving my thoughts aside and letting him think on his own to type his own words and trying to keep him fronting, we can only go for around 5 min until I start blending, doubting whether it’s really Keiths thoughts/Keith typing, getting tired, or co-fronting (I think?). I guess it’s pretty exhausting for him too, since after he typed a sentence for the first time he asked me if he could stop possessing and sleep for the rest of the day (this was also the day that I was imposing him for most of the time, so that might have worn him out too).

I heard possession can be exhausting at first and it’s very common that we can only go on for so long. I decided that it might be best for him to be stronger and independent from me before we work on possession again.

 

Proxying: 
Proxying is also a little iffy at the moment. When I’m just talking to him in my head I can clearly hear him and know that he’s talking to me, but when it comes to proxying for him (mainly typing), I can’t determine if it’s me or him for some reason. Let me explain.

I think about his thoughts and ideas for him sometimes, and this actually happens a lot throughout the day where I automatically imagine what his response would be to a particular question (probably because that’s what I did and still do for my other OCs and stories), but in these cases it never confuses me that those responses weren’t from him, even if the voices seem like Keith’s voice. But when it comes to proxying, for some reason, I can’t determine whether the responses were my Keiths responses or Keiths responses themselves.

I want for him to be able to talk to people on social media if he wants to, especially to help with his vocality and independence, but this is the main reason why I’m a little hesitant about letting him talk on forums, discord or other social media, is because I don’t want him going back to a response in the future and say “I didn’t and wouldn’t say that”. He doesn’t seem to really really want to talk on social media either, more like “yeah it’ll be fun and cool if I did that and I think it’s a good idea” so it’s not a problem if he doesn’t. But it is a good thing to keep those experiences too, I guess. What do you think I should do? Should I wait until he’s more independent and vocal or should I just go for it? Am I over-thinking it? X’D x’D

 

Anyway, on that note, if Keith has anything he wants to say I’m going to let him talk. I’ll delete it later if I think it’s a bad idea.

 

Oh, you don’t have to worry about it so much. Surely I will be fine with whatever you decide to do. I will never regret letting you talk for me, even if it isn’t my words exactly.

Anyways, hello, this is my first time talking on this forum. I don’t really have much else to say.

 

Thinking for himself is still a little hard to do lol.

We’re also pretty set on the idea that we didn’t want to make any more tulpas and that it’ll just be the 2 of us. I don’t know, that may change in the future, but we definitely won’t exceed 3 tulpas, since I don’t think I’ll be able to handle that much haha.

 


Anyways, that's my update on Keith and me. Quarantine is slowly getting to our heads lol. It's so funny that even if you don't go outside or hangout with friends often, once you're told not to go outside, your brain just goes "well now I wanna go outside and hangout with friends". Even an introvert like me who rarely goes outside is getting a little uneasy about the situation.

(Edit) Oh! Also, updated goals section, updated his appearance section, updated signature, and made a new thread for my art yay 😄

Edited by Ravii

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Posted (edited)

Thank you for the very interesting information about Tulpamancy in Japan, and good to hear things are progressing for you guys.

 

Also, unrelated, you have one of the most professional-looking signatures we've ever seen on the forum, lol. It's very well done (Except if I'm not mistaken, the names' sides are switched?)

Edited by Flandre

Hi. I'm one of Luminesce's tulpas. Unlike the others, I don't think I stand out too much from him personality wise.

I'm just special because "I'm a tulpa". So I don't think I've much to offer, here. I'm happy enough to just be with him.

Ask us stuff - https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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The stuff you said about the Japanese community is really interesting, seems to be a common thing for non-English communities to be more spiritual oriented.

 

4 hours ago, Ravii said:

We’re kind of leaving possession to the side at the moment. We got to the point where he could move my hands to type a little, but every time I come back from it I slightly blend(?) with him. There are some times where I get very confused and my mind process goes: “Ok, these are my hands now, I’m in control of it. Well, no, you might be… or, actually, wait, this isn’t me or you, who’s moving my hands????” and then I get slightly scared about my hands moving on its own or somebody else who I’m not aware of taking over lol. Did any of you had any experiences similar to that?

 

Yep, sometimes after I let my host front, we're not really sure who's supposed to be moving the body. That's not too uncommon though, just the brain getting confused I guess. You shouldn't worry about someone else that's not Keith or you taking over, because that's higly unlikely.

 

4 hours ago, Ravii said:

I think about his thoughts and ideas for him sometimes, and this actually happens a lot throughout the day where I automatically imagine what his response would be to a particular question (probably because that’s what I did and still do for my other OCs and stories), but in these cases it never confuses me that those responses weren’t from him, even if the voices seem like Keith’s voice. But when it comes to proxying, for some reason, I can’t determine whether the responses were my Keiths responses or Keiths responses themselves.

 

Far fetched but, could it be that when you automatically answer for Keith, you know it's you (so it's okay if you mess up and say something Keith would never say) while if it's Keith himself, you're doubtful because you're not sure if he would actually say that?


Hello, I'm Mirichu, although you can call me Miichu, and I'm the main fronter of this system.

The others are Miri, who's the original host and co-fronts with me and Akai, but she doesn't talk much here.

Progress Report and my Art Thread

________________

Waka Waka x3

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It has been a few weeks since your last post. How are you two doing?

 

I have a few questions pertaining to the Japanese tulpa community as well as your experiences.

As for the Japanese tulpa community, where are the biggest gathering places? I know of atwiki, and what you described was similar to what I have read on there. I got the impression that making tulpas for romantic reasons was more common in Japan, or at least more acceptable. It seems somewhat taboo in the English tulpa community to do that. Atwiki has a section for タルパとのイチャイチャ話, and at one Japanese guide I read had an entire paragraph to describe how his tulpa was made to be the perfect girlfriend.

 

To you two, I was wondering if you used English or Japanese when you talk. I have a theory behind why parroting is more widely used in Japan, that being 口調. I think that it would be much easier to tell whether you or the tulpa said something if, for example, you use 俺 and 常体 while your tulpa uses 私 and 敬体 (or the other way around, or any combination of pronoun and politeness, etc). This could be completely off however, so I was wondering if you had any experience with that sort of thing.


Host: Hako

Tulpa: Minu

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