Jump to content

Lacking Personality


Recommended Posts


Hello, Holly here. my host was sitting in class and all of a sudden i had a feeling i wasn't really, well, sentient for just a moment, and I've been around for just over a year. And, well, that freaked me the hell out. Upon further thought, i considered that my personality was a bit lacking, like there is nothing more to me than somewhat cute, kind, and a bit of a teaser. I suspected this is the case as we don't really do much out of the house, and I talk to 1 person besides Light occasionally. So, my question would be how would i gain more of a 'personality' or expand my horizons with experiences?

Edited by iwishtogameend
Link to post
Share on other sites

Huh, someone actually looking for a concept that previously I've only seen our system talk about. Well, we frequently talk about tulpa development continuing past the vocality/"fully-developed" stage, in the form of a tulpa growing as a person, gaining new experiences and thinking about things they've never thought about before. Having conversations (or maybe going on "wonderland adventures", if a system likes doing that) about things, maybe asking the tulpa how they feel about stuff and so on - these are important to a tulpa's development as a person, after their development as a tulpa is done. 

A normal human being has these experiences constantly, naturally. It's totally unavoidable in fact. They flesh out who you are as a person, having you think about things you've never thought about, giving you experiences to refer to or that shape you, add depth to your character. A tulpa doesn't necessarily get these sorts of experiences, if they don't have a particularly active/random wonderland or in-depth discussions with their host or systemmates.


And there's one more way, too. The same way a host has these experiences. If you so decide to learn switching/possession, your tulpa will run into these experiences naturally, probably (unless you keep them sheltered too much, not interacting with anyone or doing anything). Switching moreso, but possession works too. A switched tulpa is basically living a human's full life, with no host to rely on for random things that come up, so they'll be forced to think about them on their own. With possession, that would only be the case either 1, if you do advanced full body possession where the host is relatively uninvolved, or 2, if the tulpa thinks or talks about their experiences afterwards (or heck, even during). But even if you were there to guide or advise them, it's still leagues better for their development than sitting in an empty wonderland.


But again, if you'll simply have discussions with your tulpa, switching and possession aren't necessary. If you've a particularly vivid and active imagination/wonderland, interactions there could do the same thing, but chances are you don't if you've run into this problem.


Great question, by the way. It's nice to see someone else see a need for this aspect of tulpamancy on their own.

Hi, I'm Tewi, one of Luminesce's tulpas. I often switch to take care of things for the others.

All I want is a simple, peaceful life. With my family.

Our Ask thread: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

Link to post
Share on other sites

We've already learnt possession and full-body possession, we're not gonna really dab into switching, but I'd say the largest reason we don't go out and do things is we live butt-fuck middle of nowhere, that being on the side of a hill where the nearest actual store is 20 minutes away by car. We occasionally do things, like swimming, and i really like swimming, tough they don't really care for it, and we occasionally go to the cinema, but I guess I'm lacking in the experiences one would need to form their opinions on the world or how to react to things in my own way. I think it might also have to do with experiences, with people. I guess i live in some kind of echo chamber of me and Light, but I guess that's what happens when you're stuck in a town with old people and crack heads with, like 2 friends, and we're not sure if one of them is even open to the idea of Tulpas and we don't really want to try it  y e t. It might be a time thing, i don't know.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel the same way every now and then. Cat has a better sense of who she is simply because she had more time to figure herself out. I don't really know who I am yet, and it's pretty easy to lose interest in most of what Cat does.


Possession / Switching are useful for different things. Full body possession is great if you want to do an activity your host is at worst mildly not interested in, where with switching you could do whatever you want. However, I quickly found with possession that I was doing activities my host would normally do, where with switching I really started to realize how much freedom I really had and broke the norm. However, if you have no plans to do anything with the body, then it won't matter if you switch or possess.


As corny as it sounds, you may want to visit a library for a couple hours. Instead of picking out a book, just wander around and read the backs of the books. If anything sounds super boring, really interesting, or anything in between, take note of it. It may also make you curious about something or give you ideas on what to look into. Worst case scenario, you will learn you hate libraries.

I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff.

My other headmates have their own account now.

Temporary Log | Switching LogcBox | Yay! | Bre Translator

Link to post
Share on other sites

One way or another, having experiences is the best way to develop as a person. For created headmates, experiences that are very different from those of the host are particularly valuable. If physical world opportunities are limited and switching is off the table, fictional experiences may be your best bet. Live stories in the mindscape, write stories to keep or share, roleplay online if there isn't anyone to do it with locally.

I was very reluctant to switch until I tried it and immediately found that there were things I enjoyed doing in the physical world. I think it is a good thing for all headmates to try, even if they eventually decide not to pursue it regularly. But even with full-body possession, you should be able to try out any number of private hobbies -- arts, crafts, performance, etc -- that are distinct from your host's existing interests.


Swimming sounds like a good start, especially if Light doesn't care for it. That means that liking it is something particular to you and not inherited. Many of the things I do in the physical world are things my host would never have done, including things that she finds appalling. But we've decided that each of us has the right to pursue our own fulfillment in this life.


Edited by Ember.Vesper

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember


Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015


'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Create New...