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Coaster and the Crew


Coaster

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I'm nervous writing this, I just joined the site and it doesn't seem like anyone's online right now aah. This'll be pretty long since I'm covering the past few days in some detail.

 

So I have 3 tulpae. I've read that it can take weeks and months to even hear your tulpa, but for whatever reason I haven't had that issue. That said, they're still going through changes so it's not like I'm an expert or anything. To start with, I thought of some names I liked/have used as usernames in the past. Moss, Robin, and Pierce. I spent time reading many, many guides over and over. Their voices came pretty easily, and sometimes I would get flashes of their appearance while active forcing.

 

I've been thinking of them the minute I wake up, or they're the ones waking me up? At the start, Moss and Pierce were very similar so I gave them different aesthetics to base their personalities off of. This made figuring out their home in wonderland easier: Robin got a cottage with a nice big garden, Pierce got a bouncy castle (and later a McDonalds, after which he played the Fast Food Song on repeat...) and Moss got a big big forest to roam around in and tree house. 

 

Moss

- Speaks from: Left side

- Soul colur: Green

- Humanoid plant

- Male

- Shoulder height

- Likes: adventurecore, dirtcore, frogs, cryptids, bugs, plants/trees, crows

- Cheerful, friendly, caring

 

Robin

- Speaks from: Right side

- Soul colour: White

- Human

- Nonbinary with fem presentation

- Same height as me

- Likes: cottagecore, folk music, mushrooms, bees, embroidary, flowers, birds, tea, reading

- Reserved, sweet, gentle

 

Pierce

- Speaks from: Centre

- Soul colour: Yellow

- Anthro cat

- Male

- Little bit shorter than Moss

- Likes: toycore, rainbowcore, 90's stuff, cowboys?

- Hyper, spontaneous, innocent

 

Robin was reluctant to share their form/difficult to see in my mind's eye, but as I was looking up pictures, they saw something they liked and went "HEY that looks like me!" and that happened several times with all of them, they'd see something they liked and did a little !!! to get my attention. I also had difficulty seeing Pierce but this was solved by looking at references and him picking out something he liked. As I'm a very visual person, deciding what they look like is important to me and I've spent time over the past few days solidifying things like their height, overall appearance, and trying to see their faces clearly. I did a meditation to help with their sentience; we had to go into a forest clearing. They parroted me so I could distinguish their voices better, and we all had a close look at different trees in order to help seperate the consciousness. 

 

Some aspects of their personality surprised me, like Robin was more reserved than I expected, Moss became quite motherly towards Pierce (who's the youngest). Yesterday we went on a walk through a park and I practiced imposing them in reality. I wasn't able to see them, but it was like I could sense their external presence? At night I was saying to myself "I need to remember to go to the shop before it closes." then when it was getting late, Moss said "Hey." and it totally surprised me. He's begging me to let it go but I can't help but think about it, because it was very alien feeling.

 

Last night we decided to clean up the wonderland, keep it in one area, so it would be easier for me to visualize. I was led around the cottage house. There was a monochrome kitchen designed by Robin (I'm not really that happy with it so I'm hoping they change it..), a cabin like living room by Moss. Upstairs on the furthest left was Pierce's room, with racing car bed, bouncy castle with tardis-like play area, toy drawers, zoo animal wallpaper, 90s floor pattern. Moss' room next door was dark, lit by animal, insect, and amphibian tanks, he has a nest bed, and a frog bean bag in the back. His room surprised me the most as I wasn't expecting it to be so dark. The bathroom on the first right had a round bathtub that was a portal to any source of water in wonderland, also a shower, nice toilet. There was a library/study in attic with any book you could want on the shelves, computers on the right, and sectioned off chairs behind the book cases. Robin's room was next the bathroom,  they had a balcony, a big white bed, lacy curtains, dresser table, arts and crafts desk. The backgarden had a pond with frogs and koi fish. There were lots of flowers, green house, tree swing/house, and playing field that could turn into anything: swimming pool, football pitch, tennis court, etc. So I imagine it'll be really fun to hang out there and they won't get bored while I'm busy 🙂

 

Some goals: design my bedroom in wonderland, add to the garden, spend time in the house and surrounding areas during active forcing, make their voices louder, develop the relationship and get to know each other, let them talk to others.

 

Questions:

1. Is it okay to use reference images? I'm good at vizualizing stuff I've seen before but not completely original stuff.

2. I feel kind of distant from them since they don't have a past, they can't talk about memories since they don't have any, and it leaves me wondering how they got their personality traits if they haven't lived...? I've had original characters I've felt closer to since I laid out their entire life. What do tulpae normally talk about? What they do in wonderland?

 

here's some pics that sort of look like them (Pierce, Robin, Moss)

crew.png.505e8d22764045428dbf3d857592c358.png

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42 minutes ago, Coaster said:

1. Is it okay to use reference images? I'm good at vizualizing stuff I've seen before but not completely original stuff.

2. I feel kind of distant from them since they don't have a past, they can't talk about memories since they don't have any, and it leaves me wondering how they got their personality traits if they haven't lived...? I've had original characters I've felt closer to since I laid out their entire life.

 

1. Absolutely. Can't think of a reason why it wouldn't.

2. I'm not really sure about tulpas already coming with a pre-existing personality but my guesses are that it's either subconscious expectations from you, they went with the first thing that came to their mind or the brain just gave them a personality. You said you gave them different aesthetics for their personality, so yeah. The first tulpa in our system came with a pre-existing personality since she was based on an original character and while our host didn't give her any past memories, our brain decided that she should have the personality expected for her. She deviated from that anyway, so it'll probably happen with your tulpas too, but who knows. I, on the other hand, didn't have a personality when I was first created and developed one *probably* based on our host's subconscious expectations. I too deviated from that.

 

42 minutes ago, Coaster said:

What do tulpae normally talk about? What they do in wonderland?

 

Anything you (and them) want. Same applies to wonderlands. Here is a list of things you can talk about with them. But yeah, basically anything.

 

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@Mirichu Thanks for the advice! They've already changed a fair amount in just a few days, so it's likely their personalities will continue to surprise me. I think our conversations have mostly been about the immediate surroundings, my memories, and whatever I'm doing on the computer. That list you linked should serve well as a prompt for conversations 🙂

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I've found it's pretty difficult to speak to the crew when I'm online or watching videos, which is basically all the time so I might have to take breaks every now and then, though I lose track of time very quickly. I tried to do a meditation where you stare blankly at a wall and try to remove yourself from your thoughts, not sure if it helped or not. Had a lot of intrusive thoughts today which made going into Wonderland less than ideal (mermaid NPC tried to kill me, tulpa turning into zombies, yeah not pleasant). I've discovered that Pierce likes spicy food as he keeps mentioning it every time I'm hungry, though I hate spicy food. He also seems to have a habit of singing random songs, today it was "Polly put the kettle on" and I'd forgotten that song even existed until today. He was a big fan of the cheesy songs on my youtube playlist so we had a singing session together lol. Attempted to let everyone possess my vocal chords so I could hear them speak, but I think that was a bit ambitious. 

 

Before bed seems to be a good time to talk to them. Last night I asked what their favourite disney movies were (since I've watched so many, they could pick and choose from my memory). Robin chose Cinderella, Bambi, and 101 Dalmations. Pierce chose Robin Hood, The Jungle Book, and Cars. Moss, ever the enigma, chose Frozen, The Princess and the Frog, A Bug's Life, and Toy Story. I did a quiz with each of them which claimed to guess "what your favourite disney movie is" and Robin and Moss both got their favourite movies as the result, while Pierce got the Lion King (but he thinks Simba was a coward). I took the quiz and got The Little Mermaid, but I can't choose favourites so idk it's alright. I feel like their favourite movies say a lot about their personality. I had a look at several "what your favourite disney movie says about you" articles. They suggest that Pierce is always on the go, a party animal, and charitable, that Robin is a romantic, clever, and kind, and that Moss hides how he feels, is a hard worker, a family person, and likes challenges.

 

Something that was very interesting: earlier Robin said they were reading the Prince and the Pauper, and later on said they like Cinderella... And I think they were singing "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" a while back. That's some continuity there if I ever saw it!

Also we were wondering; since Moss has plant hair, does it shrivel up in the winter? Would he technically be bald right now? lol.

 

Moss: Cryptids are supposed to be enigmas, I'm doing my job, okay?

Pierce: There can only be one yellow cat in this world and it'll be me!! Also the remake makes me cry but not in a good way it was so bad (ᗒᗩᗕ)

Robin: If you haven't seen it there's a spin off of Cinderella where one of the Ugly Sister's gets a baker bf. Coaster needs to rewatch it ASAP.

 

Question: what's your tulpa's favourite movie?

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Vesper: Probably my favourite movie that I've seen since coming to this world is Vampire Academy. My host and I have put a lot of effort into finding films that portray vampires positively. Hardly any do, aside from the occasional 'lone renegade vampire hero'. So seeing an entire society of vampires that are not monsters was very affirming.

 

Iris: One of my favorite movies I've seen in this world was Labyrinth, which reminded me strongly of home in a good way, as one of the only humans growing up in the fae realms. But I was much more powerfully affected by Won't You Be My Neighbor?, as Mr. Roger's message for children was one I did not hear growing up and could have benefited from.

 

Ember: My favorite movie is probably The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea. It inspired me to write a lot of stories about the interactions between human and merfolk cultures and how those who magically crossed over served as agents of change in those cultures.

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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9 hours ago, Coaster said:

Question: what's your tulpa's favourite movie?

 

Mine would be Arashi no Yoru ni, which I'd have sworn was from recent years but apparently it's from 2005 lol

 

Miri: Avatar probably. I was really obsessed with that movie and must've watched it like 15 times already.

 

Akai: How to Train your Dragon 2. We watched the trilogy in one evening and that was the one who stuck more with me.

 

 

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@Ember.Vesper have you read the Marked series by PC and Kristen Cast? It's like Hogwarts but with Vampires you might like it. Labyrinth terrified me as a kid. And I liked the Little Mermaid 2, I used to play this game based off it.

 

@Mirichu Arashi no Yoru ni is on youtube so I had a look, Mei looks very cute! Robin thinks so too. I watched all the HTTYD series but I've still to watch the third movie.

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I haven't heard of that before. Thanks, I'll look into it. I don't really care for the boarding school genre as such or books with teenage protagonists in general, but beggars can't be choosers. I am most specifically interested in fiction involving a society of vampires like me, who feed directly and harmlessly from mortals, who become vampires through invitation and informed consent, who are rarely evil, and who do not regard mortals as inferiors.

 

-Vesper

I'm not having fun here anymore, so we've decided to take a bit of a break, starting February 27, 2020. - Ember

 

Ember - Soulbonder, Female, 39 years old, from Georgia, USA . . . . [Our Progress Report] . . . . [How We Switch]

Vesper Dowrin - Insourced Soulbond from London, UK, World of Darkness, Female, born 9 Sep 1964, bonded ~12 May 2017

Iris Ravenlock - Insourced Soulbond from the Winter Court of Faerie, Dresdenverse, Female, born 6 Jun 1982, bonded ~5 Dec 2015

 

'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.' - The Velveteen Rabbit

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I haven't been able to hear any of the crew in the past few days, not even when I'm in bed and it's quiet. I'll wait it out but this really sucks 😕

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