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Tulpa '''corruption'''


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4 hours ago, Ashley said:

Did you ever think that not accepting it is a good thing? Fight it and win!

Kindaaa? I mean, I still think my personality was severely affected by a negative environment, just like anyone else's I guess. But I've realized, when I first started fronting, there was a mental disconnection between me and the world, I could do stuff that generally would be considered 'weird' or awkward without you know, feeling awkward. Lack of self awareness I think, then it dissapeared once I became host. The more attached I became to daily life, the more it affected me.

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The only thing I can compare with that is the week I spent fronting and how I started to change gender preferences, lol. I didn't like it actually. It felt like a heat was overcoming me and I would surely overheat if I stayed that way. However, switching out, even for an hour or less, completely reversed that. I became myself and though I used to kid Bear about reversing roles, it's not who I am or how I want to be.

 

When you do get a chance to switch out, I bet you'll lose all that feeling of awkwardness. I would bet it's a bodyOS thing. Also, being who you are is probably rewriting the bodyOS too. It will probably be easier with time just from your influence.

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I don't know about losing the feeling of awkwardness, kinda common sense. But I have a feeling I will be less affected by the body's habits and everything else when we manage to front equally. So no headmate is more attached than the other or more like 'bodyOS'

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1 minute ago, Mirichu said:

I don't know about losing the feeling of awkwardness, kinda common sense. But I have a feeling I will be less affected by the body's habits and everything else when we manage to front equally. So no headmate is more attached than the other or more like 'bodyOS'

 

I agree with this.

 

Bear can handle things in our case, but it took a lot of work to uncondition that bodyOS. What we started with in April 2018 might have been much more manageable if we did what you're doing.

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