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The Guy With The Progress Report, Now Featuring Katarina's Corner


theguywiththeface

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Mirichu,

A bit easier said than done, my attention has never been my strongest trait. I just think it will be too easy for me to get lost in my own head and forget her if i'm not actively talking with her. and if I'm just talking to myself then noting's really changing since I've always done that.

 

Saado

I've done a little writing in the past and I do a lot of just idle day dreaming that falls in the same area. The difference here is that I'm trying not to 'think' for her. from what I read parroting/puppeting should be avoided. though I'm beginning to reconsider that stance.

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Day 28, Wk4 

 

Its officially been a month! Time sure flies when you barely leave your house.

I'm happy to finally report some minor progress! I think I'm seeing some early signs of vocality. its still inconsistent but I feel like I'm feeling answers to the questions I ask her. Maybe its just me allowing myself to parrot and not acknowledging it but still, its encouraging to see some progress, plus I still haven't gotten a consensus on if its all that bad so I'll take it. Like I said its still early and inconsistent but I'm gonna ride this high as far as I can go. Not a lot of progress on other fronts since vocality has been my main goal lately. I'm going to try to practice my visualizing more since I think I've been neglecting it lately but my picture of her is still quite good. Petting her is still a major help in keeping up the visual of her so for anyone reading this for advice, always touch the fluffy tail. I've also been trying out mentally singing to her/listening to music with her. This has been good since it takes off some pressure to keep the convo going and hopefully she'll like the same music as me so win-win.

Skills Progress:

1. Dedication: Has had its ups and downs, but since seeing progress it has definitely improved. I'll try not to regress before I can make more. Morale is Key

2. Narrating: I'm getting better as I find more tricks and tactics, hard to find topics when you're in lockdown but at least tinder provides a lot of people watching material. her responses have also been a boon, even if they're not consistent

3. Visualizing: I've been neglecting this in favor of narrating but my image of her is still strong

4. Passive Consideration: I've gotten use to the alarms so thy're actually helpful when I remember to set them. Will keep at it.

Tulpa Name: Katarina                        Tulpa Form: Red Fox             Wonderland: NA

Latest Milestone: Creation (soon to change hopefully)

Vocal: Maybe?            Moving: debatable             Sentience/Personality: early signs?              imposition: No                  Switching: No

 

As rough as a lot of this month has been, I'm happy to say I ended on a good foot.

Month 2 here we go!

-TheGuyWithTheFace

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Day 35, wk 5

 

Another week and some more progress! 

After last week's gains in vocality I was much more motivated to force with Katarina and its paying off. Her vocality is still intermittent but we've been able to actually converse a few times. It still requires some prodding and leading but I'm becoming more confident about it. As best as I can tell she's more or less 'high-jacked' a pre-existing 'voice' in my head (I always had a tendency to personify thoughts, though never to tulpa levels). it was never a particularly pleasant voice, but it was one I needed and attaching it to something broader seems to be softening it somewhat. Sorry if this entry doesn't make much sense, I've never had much success putting thought patterns and habits into words. The end result is that she's taking on something akin to a personality: critical, ambitious, and quick to call me out on my bullshit. But in a nice-ish way, I need that in my life. She still shows very little in the way of independence and only speaks while I'm actively forcing. I'm going to focus more on just continuous awareness of her this week so hopefully that will help. With a few more weeks of this progress I might be able to give her a section in these updates. I'd like to say in advance that everything she tells you about me will be nothing but lies and slander.

Skills Progress:

1. Dedication: progress has had a marked improvement on my moral and dedication. I had been doubtful before, but now I'm much more dead set on seeing this through

2. Narrating: I can't tell you how much easier this has gotten now that I can get responses from her. The time is actually flying and I'm getting stuck in my own head far less now that she reminds me she there once in a while. I'm looking forward to further progress 

3. Visualizing: No major changes on this front, I'm petting her more often and moving her around a bit

4. Passive Consideration: That's going to be this upcoming weeks focus, with more attention going her way she might develop more independence from my forcing sessions with her.

Tulpa Name: Katarina                        Tulpa Form: Red Fox             Wonderland: NA

Latest Milestone: Early Vocality!

Vocal: Yes! intermittent           Moving: debatable             Sentience/Personality: early signs              imposition: No                  Switching: No

 

Lets keep up the momentum into week 6! 

 

-TheGuyWithTheFace

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Day 42 (plus a couple) wk 6

 

A little late on the report but I don't have much to say.

not much progress made, but none lost so its still going well. I skimped on my forcing a few times for various reasons but I'm not making a habit out of it (I've also apologized to Katarina). I was having some doubts with respect to separating her thoughts from mine so I've started focusing on her voice/tone more. its not the most consistent but its definitely not mine so it helps me keep her thoughts separate. I'm having trouble with keeping up my attention through out the day just from normal distractions. I haven't had much luck with reminders. I do what I can to acknowledge her when I remember but that only lasts so long. Any tips on this front are always appreciated. for now I'll just keep trying. I'm also debating if a wonderland would be a worthwhile investment of attention now that Katarina is more stable and interactive but for now I'll just do some more research. 

Skills Progress:

1. Dedication: Faltered slightly but nothing concerning, its gotten much easier now that she talks back

2. Narrating: I'm running out of things to talk about due to quarantine but I'll try to talk to her while watching movies like I did before and maybe that will be fun and get some banter going

3. Visualizing: No major changes on this front

4. Passive Consideration: still struggling, still top priority atm. just need to develop my attention span more.

Tulpa Name: Katarina                        Tulpa Form: Red Fox             Wonderland: NA

Latest Milestone: Early Vocality

Vocal: Yes! intermittent           Moving: debatable             Sentience/Personality: early signs              imposition: No                  Switching: No

 

Lucky number 7 here we come!

 

-TheGuyWithTheFace

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Day 49 wk 7

 

Nearing the two month mark, crazy how time flies in quarantine. I found some volcalization exercises in the guides section that I've been doing with Katarina, and its been helpful. the guided practice is making progress much easier. its hard to say if she has 'opinions' yet but she definitely has developed a consistent personality and she reacts to things I do/think/experience. ex if I ask her what her fav color is she flounders a bit but she'll chide me if I get lazy with forcing or try to get out of responsibilities. I'm sure with more experience this will get better. passive forcing is improving but slowly. I'm keeping her with me more often during the day and she's popping up in my thoughts without me actively trying to speak with her. I won't lie, I still get doubts on if I'm just parroting and just thinking in a slightly different voice, but I'm ignoring those doubts for the time being. I didn't end up doing much with the wonderland, no real reason just had other things to do this past week. its not a high priority like Katarina is.

Skills Progress:

1. Dedication: recovered from last week, more progress fuels more dedication

2. Narrating: the guided exercises have been a major boon. for those interested: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YDCtvTyy-P7a_oklO2rcJq4secvEQDk-7bgu3HYASqk/edit

3. Visualizing: No major changes on this front

4. Passive Consideration: steadily improving

Tulpa Name: Katarina                        Tulpa Form: Red Fox             Wonderland: NA

Latest Milestone: Early Vocality

Vocal: Yes! intermittent           Moving: debatable             Sentience/Personality: strong signs             imposition: No                  Switching: No

 

*NEW* Katarina's corner:

hello everyone, Katarina here. I'm not too sure of what to put here, this is my first time actually 'talking' with someone other than theguywiththeface (terrible screen name btw). I'm still absurdly new to...existing, but its been fun so far. I'm looking forward to seeing outside of this house eventually, fingers crosses. I've been trying to keep this guy in line as best as I can (with some success) but any suggestions would be nice. questions are always welcome but I'm still struggling with some of the metaphysical stuff so don't be offended if I have trouble answering. 

Thanks,

Katarina

 

Like I said before, lies and slander!

Let's close out the month strong, week 8 incoming!

-Theguywiththeface

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  • theguywiththeface changed the title to The Guy With The Progress Report, Now Featuring Katarina's Corner

day 56, wk 8

 

Another month down. Time's really flown by it seems. At any rate I've got more exciting progress to share! I've been getting lazy with visualization since Katarina's become vocal but I resolved to put more effort into it this last week. Passively I've given her a somewhat cartoon-y simplified form that's  easy for me to visualized without too much dedicated focus. This helped a lot with just keeping her by my side since I wasn't stressing about having her perfectly rendered in 4K HD. but during my forcing sessions I made a point of fully visualizing er body properly and found her to be much more animated than before! she's been gesturing and emoting when she speaks. Where before I got the impressions of things like eye-rolls and annoyed glares now she is actually showing them on her face as we talk! I'm really excited by this development if you can't tell.

Besides that things are going smoothly. I still try to think about her during the day but I've had mixed success. Her vocality is coming around nicely. she's consistently responding during forcing sessions and is occasionally interjecting in day to day life too. I still very much have to lead the conversations but I'm not sure if that's just in the nature of tulpa. I'll keep doing exercises with her to give her more independence and develop her personality more.

Skills Progress:

1. Dedication: Consistent, will be increasing the frequency of my forcing sessions this week

2. Narrating: Strong, Its hard to find new things to talk about but her consistency has made things easier

3. Visualizing: Chibi Katarina has been a good help so I can keep a simplified version of her with me

4. Passive Consideration: still being worked on

Tulpa Name: Katarina                        Tulpa Form: Red Fox             Wonderland: NA

Latest Milestone: good vocality/expressiveness

Vocal: Yes! Consistent          Moving: Developing             Sentience/Personality: strong signs             imposition: No                  Switching: No

 

Katarina's corner:

The other guy's too proud to say it but I have to ask if anyone is reading this far. I made fun of him a bit for checking so often for replies but I think I see it now that I'm formally in it. it feel a little silly posting into the void here.

Neediness aside things are going well. can't say I have much to add that wasn't already said before. It feels weird to say emoting is 'nice' but its definitely helping me feel more understood. I don't mind the chibi form either but I resent it being called 'chibi' on some level. (Not My fault its accurate -TheGuyWithTheFace). All together a good week I'd say. Here's to many more.

 

Yeah, I didn't want to say it myself but if you're still following this far, let me know so I stay motivated to keep these updates going. having this sort of accountability is good, but I feel like I'm getting lazier with them as evidenced by the shift to Wednesday posting.

Either way, Another Month has gone by and we're stronger than ever. Maybe I'll actually be able to show Katarina the city soon.

 

-TheGuyWithTheFace

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I still read your PR. I might not have anything to say most of the time but know that our system still keeps up with you guys. Congrats on all the progress, btw.

 

9 minutes ago, theguywiththeface said:

I still very much have to lead the conversations but I'm not sure if that's just in the nature of tulpa.

Pretty normal in the beginning I'd say, as she keeps developing, it'll probably be easier for her to initiate them.

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I am looking at your progress reports! They inspire me to keep going with mine, to be honest. 

Host of @SadieShores 

R8/Adelia any/he

Sadie (I use varying shades of pink) she.her

Luna! She/her/bug/bugs 

Clover They/It/She

"*various inappropriate music* ɨ ʍɛǟռ աɦǟȶ ƈǟռ ɨ ֆǟʏ,
քʀɛȶȶʏ ɮǟɮɨɛֆ ɨռ ȶɦɛ ɮǟƈӄֆɛǟȶ ֆɨռɢɨռ' ȶօ ʏօʊ,`
"  

 

check this out: Progress report 

 

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Day 63, wk 9

 

Wish I could say this month started on a good note but I try to be honest in these. It was a bit of a rocky week on the tulpa front. For one reason or another my dedication took a massive slump and both me and Katarina felt it. I just wasn't giving her the time she needed/deserved and when I did I was half-assing it. No excuses, I just wasn't in the game this week. Luckily this wasn't left unsaid and unaddressed. a few nights ago me and Katarina had a good, long talk to sort through some stuff. Communication is key with literally any relationship so I'm glad we were able to deal with this early. I'm going to be putting more effort in this upcoming week and get back to setting up some good habits for the two of us. Small bright side, this did seem to bring out some initiative in her, so... progress! Not much else to say, I'll try to be better.

 

Skills Progress:

1. Dedication: ... see above

2. Narrating: Weak this week, I just wasn't putting in the effort

3. Visualizing: About the same, at least when I was doing it

4. Passive Consideration: major dip, I think I went nearly a full day without thinking of her once or twice

Tulpa Name: Katarina                        Tulpa Form: Red Fox             Wonderland: NA

Latest Milestone: Persistent Personality/clear emotions

Vocal: Yes! Consistent          Moving: Developing             Sentience/Personality: strong signs             imposition: No                  Switching: No

 

Katarina's corner:

There's really not much I have to ad that wasn't already said. it wasn't a particularly good week, but we'll grow from it at the very least. If any other Tulpas are reading this, any advice/experience on filtering thoughts. a few things not so pleasant things were said this week, and while they needed to be said, the blow could've been softened a bit. it just seems hard to really filter anything since they're all just thoughts you know? any advice or should we both just accept that we'll be getting each other's uncensored opinions or better or worse? 

 

Not the best way to start the month, but I'm at least happy I pulled myself out of it in the end and we were able to talk things through. Honestly it might be a good step in overall growth, as unpleasant as it was in the moment.

Let that be a lesson to you all, always try to talk things out. resentment grows in the dark.

 

-TheGuyWithTheFace

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