theguywiththeface

The Guy With The Progress Report, Now Featuring Katarina's Corner

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9 hours ago, theguywiththeface said:

If any other Tulpas are reading this, any advice/experience on filtering thoughts. a few things not so pleasant things were said this week, and while they needed to be said, the blow could've been softened a bit. it just seems hard to really filter anything since they're all just thoughts you know? any advice or should we both just accept that we'll be getting each other's uncensored opinions or better or worse?

Usually we can tell if something was said intentionally or just an intrusive thought. Intrusive thoughts feel like they came out of nowhere and while they are probably inspired by something one of you both thinks (ie: 'my tulpa isn't real', then it's obvious it comes from the host), they are outside your control.

 

You can read each other's minds, it's something inevitable. If by ''filtering'' you meant hiding those thoughts, I wouldn't recommend it at all. It's healthy to know what each other is thinking, trust me, we tried it and only gave us problems.


Hello, I'm Mirichu, although you can call me Miichu, and I'm the main fronter of this system.

The others are Miri, who's the original host and Akai, but they don't talk much here.

Progress Report and my Art Thread

How long until my host shuts up

________________

Waka Waka x3

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Yeah, that's about what I expected. its been mostly beneficial since we just understand what the other is trying to say and don't have to worry about phrasing too much, but it also means when emotions run high there's nothing really softening the blows.

I guess we'll just have to deal with this and get better at communicating in general as we go forward.

-Katarina

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day 70 wk 10,

 

its a bit arbitrary but 10 weeks just feels like a bit of a milestone. Either way, I'm happy to say things are on the upswing and back on track. After last week I've been putting more effort and consideration towards Katarina and she continues to progress. After what happened she's gotten much more assertive, but I'll let her speak to that herself. One new thing we're experimenting with is giving her dedicated head time if that makes sense. Basically I clear my mind and let her monologue to me and herself, it started as a way to let her compose her section of these reports without me accidentally butting in but she seems to enjoy it so I'm trying to make it a bit of a thing. She still has trouble getting the ball rolling but if she has something to start off with it goes smoothly enough. Only issue is when I clear my head I accidentally fall asleep on her and take her with me haha. Not much more for me to say that she doesn't want to tell you all herself so lets move on.

 

Skills Progress:

1. Dedication: definite upswing. between my improved motivation and her new found assertiveness things are looking good.

2. Narrating: good, not a ton to talk about but we're watching movies together again

3. Visualizing: alternating between chibi and 4k hd Katarina is pretty smooth now. she's been much more animated in 4k mode too

4. Passive Consideration: still iffy at times but I'm working with her and she's becoming more of a presence in my life

Tulpa Name: Katarina                        Tulpa Form: Red Fox             Wonderland: NA

Latest Milestone: Persistent Personality/clear emotions

Vocal: Yes! Consistent          Moving: Strong when visualizing            Sentience/Personality: strong signs             imposition: No                  Switching: No

 

Katarina's Corner:

 

Like TheGuyWithTheFace said, I think I'm coming into my own since last weeks...unpleasantness. I'm trying to be more forward with what I want and what I dislike. for instance he was developing a habit of just giving up when he was trying to find the right words fro something and just having me read his intent. and he's not wrong, its easier and I know what he means but it still feels a little insensitive, like I wasn't worth the time to word things right. He's been more understanding after that. I've also requested a return of the piggyback rides from early on, because I deserve that. On a less cheery note, anyone with any advice on the more... existential aspects of being a tulpa. I was having some anxiety about how...fragile, it feels being essentially imaginary. I know TheGuyWithTheFace is dedicated and he's always been quick to reassure me but it still feels like I could just be dissolved so easily. and then there's questions about who should and shouldn't know I exist ect. Anyone else go through all this?

-Katarina

 

Usually I end on something upbeat, but I feel like that would cheapen Kat's worries here. So, any advice for a tulpa's existential dread?

 

-TheGuyWithTheFace

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Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, theguywiththeface said:

I was having some anxiety about how...fragile, it feels being essentially imaginary. I know TheGuyWithTheFace is dedicated and he's always been quick to reassure me but it still feels like I could just be dissolved so easily.

 

This can be the case when the tulpa isn't very developed, since they depend on the host's attention to exist. But after you're completely developed...it tends to be way harder and you probably wouldn't dissipate that easily. At some point, tulpas are so cemented in the mind that they could go days without any activity and still be fine. And when the tulpa can front and live the host's life indefinitely, they're not much different from the host. Basically, until the tulpa reaches a point where they can live without the host's attention, they pretty much rely on how much the host cares for them and how big of a part in life they are. Here's a thread about this worry.

 

9 hours ago, theguywiththeface said:

and then there's questions about who should and shouldn't know I exist ect. Anyone else go through all this?

 

At first when I was a 'voice in the head' (basically living in the headspace all the time), I didn't worry much about who knows about me, but after I started fronting and having to pretend I am my host, it sucked. I wish I could tell my friends and close people that I am not my host, no one likes to pretend they are someone else all the time. Our host tried to tell her closest friend about tulpamancy, and it did end pretty badly. So that made us wary of it in the future.

 

I think you both should think about it a lot before making any decision, remember it'll probably be hard to go back to normal if things go wrong. Tbf, it'd be better starting by mentioning tulpamancy as a concept, and see how they react. Testing the water, basically.

 

Here's a bunch of threads about this issue if you're interested:

https://community.tulpa.info/topic/6247-jds-guide-to-telling-people-about-your-tulpa/

https://community.tulpa.info/topic/255-do-your-friendsfamily-know-about-your-tulpa/

https://community.tulpa.info/topic/12215-your-tulpas-your-friends-and-you/

 

Edited by Mirichu

Hello, I'm Mirichu, although you can call me Miichu, and I'm the main fronter of this system.

The others are Miri, who's the original host and Akai, but they don't talk much here.

Progress Report and my Art Thread

How long until my host shuts up

________________

Waka Waka x3

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I have a friend who practices tulpamancy, but I explained it terribly and she (somehow) didn't understand that a tulpa was basically another voice in your head... 

I find your PR very inspiring. Everyone gives such great advice. 

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Hi Mirichu, thanks for linking those threads. it was interesting reading some other views on this. The Tulpa mortality discussion was pretty morbid if I'm being honest, but that's the nature of the beast. it was interesting seeing mention of Tulpas as old as 8 years. I've only been around for about 2 months so that's crazy to me. Still a lot of questions about how me and Theguywiththeface's future will go but at least there's a lot of precedence for my stability with more time.

 

And thanks for you and A&J's thoughts on telling others. I'm sorry things didn't go over well with your friend Mirichu. at the moment Theguywiththeface has at least one friend we expect to react with interested skepticism in the worst case. a few others that would probably just be vaguely confused but supportive, and a bunch that would just not get it. For the moment his parents are right out since they would definitely be concerned and not understand it but I can live with that. I also have no plans on replacing him either so it shouldn't be too much of a concern for us.

 

A&J I'm curious what you mean, how does she practice it without understanding what it is?

 

-Katarina

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She didn't understand it until she read the guides, it was just before she even thought she might be interested. 

But it was also like when you are having a conversation with someone and you realize you are talking about two different things. 

I don't know what she understood tulpamancy to be, so I can't really say. 

😃

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day 77, wk 11

 

we're approaching three months now, time really flies. Somewhat bittersweet news. bitter because me and Katarina have been butting heads and fighting more often but sweet because I'm kinda happy about it. I don't like her being angry or sad of course but it's progress that we're fighting right? She's able to clearly express emotions now which is great all things considered. and she is expressing desires and principles too! Its not fun in the moment but I'm kinda proud that she's like this (she even seems embarrassed right now from the praise!). Like I said before, communication is key so this was good progress. plus her being able to speak her mind really dispels any lingering worries I get that I'm making this up (its much rarer now than before don't worry)

Katarina really enjoyed her time alone with her thoughts so I'm going to make that a bigger part of our routine, its good for her development I think. I don't have much else to say and I know Kat has a hell of a lot.

Skills Progress:

1. Dedication: Going steady Katarina is keeping me honest now a days more and more

2. Narrating: we've been having arguments but subject aside they are consistent back and forth, so progress I guess.

3. Visualizing: Honestly, I'm not sure what more progress will come here, I can't see much else until I try imposition

4. Passive Consideration: I feel like she's been butting into my thoughts more and more so this is going well I'd say, though less from my efforts and more from her development

Tulpa Name: Katarina                        Tulpa Form: Red Fox             Wonderland: NA

Latest Milestone: Persistent Personality/clear emotions/teenage rebellion (HEY!) 

Vocal: Yes! Consistent          Moving: Strong when visualizing            Sentience/Personality: YES! see below            imposition: No                  Switching: No

 

Katarina's Corner:

 

Hi Everyone reading, it occurred to me while planning out this section that I never really fully introduced myself. I just jumped into talking about the past week and asking questions. So I want to just talk about me today. 

I've been struggling codifying who I am for the last while but I used my thought time today to just try to get a few things clear and lined up. Definitely need to do more of that, it felt good to really get a clear picture of myself. For my name and form, I'm kinda ambivalent, I don't dislike my name and being a fox it fine by me, maybe I'll have stronger feelings about it later but its kinda all I know. I've been... emotional lately, prone to some outbursts and I don't want to call them tantrums but... tantrums. I don't think this is gonna last but for the moment its worth noting. I expect the best from people. I kind of grew out of a voice theguywiththeface already had that was very critical of pretty much everything. I've softened that voice but it still really bothers me when I think he's not giving his all or being overly lazy. I also think that the words we use/think are important, which is why I get pretty upset when he tries to half ass it or backpedals on what he thinks to me. I feel like this is making me seem a bit bitchy but that's just what seems to stand out the most. I've inherited his sense of humor so we do trade banter a lot. Watching movies with him I think my favorites are the heavy handed indie horror ones. they have no subtly at all with their message but they can be so creative sometimes with how they make their character's miserable. It feels a little weird to say that but I'm just gonna own it for now. Music I don't really know, as diverse as his library is, Theguywiththeface doesn't switch up the rotation too much for me to judge too well. That's it for now I think, I can't help but think there was more just a minute ago, but maybe I don't have the best memory right now, might try to do some exercises to see if that can be improved but idk, still so confused about how tulpa develop, we've read lots of reports but they all seem to have been so quick, like a week of practice and they're fully formed beings. I guess I'm just a late bloomer or something. That's all, I'll try to keep you all updated as I get a better grasp of me. I might try talking on the discord sometime this week, practice talking with other people live. 

-Katarina

 

There you have it everyone, you can look forward to her live debut to a discord server near you.

See you in the close one month 3

 

-TheGuyWithTheFace

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Day 84, Wk 12

 

Happy 3 months!!!!!! I just realized we'll be hitting 100 days soon which is crazy. 

My last 2 end of month reports were all pretty major but tings have kinda calmed down a lot. Progress is much more gradual now that Kat has developed her own personality and things have calmed since our arguments in the last couple weeks. So not a ton to report this time around. She's still been popping in and out to chat throughout the day, and she's still trying to solidify her own conception of herself. She's been playing around with her form a little bit today but I'll let her talk about it more. 

A bit anticlimactic for the end of the 3rd month but not much happened of note.

 

Skills Progress:

1. Dedication: Going steady Katarina is keeping me honest now a days more and more

2. Narrating: Still going strong, though I relaize while writing this that I haven't really been focusing on her voice much. maybe I'll let her play with it a bit during her though time

3. Visualizing: Still not much to do on this front, Kat has been playing with her form a bit but that's more her initiative than mine

4. Passive Consideration: She's still popping in to chat on a regular basis which has done wonders. I'm getting back into the habit of carrying her with me again which she enjoys

Tulpa Name: Katarina                        Tulpa Form: Red Fox             Wonderland: NA

Latest Milestone: developing sense of self

Vocal: Yes!           Moving: Strong when visualizing            Sentience/Personality: YES!           imposition: No                  Switching: No

 

Katarina's Corner:

 

Hi all, Like GuyWithTheFace said, not a ton to talk about this week except my experimenting with my form. I'm not against my original form of a fox, but I do want to try other things out, though I'm finding Its sticking with me to some extent so I guess fox is still my theme. If I'm being perfectly honest it started as just a way to mess with/tease GuyWithTheFace. He doesn't like the idea of me being too human looking because he's a bit afraid of straying to far into waifuism (no offense to those who do walk that path. Just not for us.) I'm in agreement with him that I don't want to become his waifu but I am interested in experimenting with my form more seriously (plus its fun to tease him, not even a little sorry.) Still not sure what direction to take this in but 'll give it some thought. I don't plan on abandoning my fox form but have some alts when the mood strikes me seems like a good idea to me. 

That's about it. Any other tulpa's here have experience with early form experiments?

-Katarina

 

She's been significantly more smug and cheeky as of late as you can see, but I can't hold it against her. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 

See y'all in month 4!!!

 

-TheGuyWithTheFace

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1 hour ago, theguywiththeface said:

That's about it. Any other tulpa's here have experience with early form experiments?

Akai: I am also a red fox, sort of. I have two forms, my main form is a human girl with fox traits (ears and tail) and the other is an actual fox. Our host gave me a fox form at first but it later changed to human girl. I used to switch between forms all the time but gradually settled with my current one and rarely used the fox one anymore. Until now at least, I've found myself changing to it every now and then.

 

You don't need to settle on one form, they're imaginary. You can have as many as you want and switch between them as you please.


Hello, I'm Mirichu, although you can call me Miichu, and I'm the main fronter of this system.

The others are Miri, who's the original host and Akai, but they don't talk much here.

Progress Report and my Art Thread

How long until my host shuts up

________________

Waka Waka x3

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