theguywiththeface

The Guy With The Progress Report

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Posted (edited)

Day 0,

 

Hi all, after a couple years of curiosity and skepticism and with the looming threat of quarantine, I've finally decided to give tulpamancy a try.

As I've said, I'm still skeptical about a lot of the stories/reports I've seen (a dude claiming to be getting physically abused by his pony tulpas comes to mind) so I plan to take copious notes and post updates at least every week.

I will be doing my best to be as rigorous and realistic as possible while still being open to success and not embellish/dramatize these reports. Sorry if these end up pretty dry as a result, but if anyone is in a similar spot as me, I want this to be as trust worthy an account as possible.

 

With that out of the way, here's my plan for now. after today I want to spend at least an hour or so a day on visually forcing my tulpa along with regularly talking to/at it throughout the day. I already anthropomorphize a lot of my thoughts and tend to think in dialogue so this shouldn't be too much of a change for me. I'm going to start off with the form of a red fox; I figure an animal like that would be easier to visualize, less obtrusive to have hanging around, and significantly less weird to regularly pat. as far as personality goes, I want someone who largely balances me out, ambitious to my easy going, emotional to my calm, ect. but they'll also probably end up pretty cheeky to match me. 

 

Any advice before I get started? I'm cautious, but I will be as open as I can be to this and genuinely hope I succeed. 

Here's hoping I won't need to bring out the Jackie Chan Tulpa

Peace,

TheGuyWithTheFace

Edited by theguywiththeface

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I admire your intent to be down to earth and trustworthy in your account. I look forward to keeping up with your accounts 🙂

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10 minutes ago, theguywiththeface said:

As I've said, I'm still skeptical about a lot of the stories/reports I've seen (a dude claiming to be getting physically abused by his pony tulpas comes to mind)

I think in most cases (if they happen to be true) it is the host somehow expecting the tulpa to act a certain way, subconscious expectations maybe. That and not talking about it with their tulpa. So I guess try to not have bad expectations about it (easier said than done) and if there's a problem, talk about it with your tulpa.

 

Good luck with your journey!

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Posted (edited)

Day 7 Wk 1,

 

I'm back, 1 week after deciding to make myself a tulpa. I've been keeping fairly detailed notes on each day but that would be far too redundant and long so I'll just post the week in review sections (and eventually tulpa thoughts once (not if) we get there. I may post a pdf of the full (edited) journal near the end of this.

Unfortunately I have made virtually no progress on the tulpa front, Katarina (my tulpa in training) has shown no signs of vocality, sentience, or independence. while certainly regrettable, I'm neither surprised or disappointed. While I'd have loved for her to spring to life like some people claim theirs did, I wasn't expecting it. The first step to anything like this will always be establishing a habit around it and honing whatever skills are involved, in this case there are four main skills I've identified from guides that I'm working on.

1. Dedication: I need to give my tulpa the attention and time to develop. I was inconsistent with this throughout the week, starting strong and petering off as the week went on. but I will be re-committing and buckling down harder this week.

2. Narrating: I need to get better at talking with Katarina. As I mentioned before, I'm used to monologue-ing and having conversations with myself, but its hard not to get too stuck on/in myself when the partner can't respond. maybe I need to stop worrying about parroting but I've read a lot of conflicting things about whether parroting at the start is good or bad so IDK. I've run out of small talk and I can only recount her looks so many times. I've started watching and talking about movies/TV/Video games with her so maybe that will help.

3. Visualizing: I've gotten better at this the more I imagine Katarina's form so I'd say good progress has been made, I found that miming stroking/petting/scratching her has helped me greatly in this, especially when keeping her form in mind while narrating. I can visualize the feel and movement of her fur relatively well. I still need to work on keeping her consistent and all 'together'. when I'm focusing on one part the rest fades away and when look at her as a whole there some instability. 

4. Passive consideration: I'm trying to keep Katarina on my mind passively throughout the day and taking her existence into considerations. things like, remembering where she is, keeping an open seat for her, telling her where I'm going when I get up to do something/mentally bringing her with me. I seem to think about her more and more often so good progress since the baseline is 0.

 

Some misc. notes and experiences that I thought were notworthy:

When I mime stoking her I feel vague pressure on my hand (mostly joints and palm) probably just a result of akward hand position but it could be useful stimulus for this even if its not directly related.

When I was repressing a particularly cringe inducing memory I had an oddly strong reaction, like a vague seizing in my head. this was only Day 2 so I'm reluctant to ascribe it to my tulpa since I didn't experience anything else like that but it happened while narrating to her so i felt I should make note if it and see if anyone else has thoughts on this.

My commute to work was generally more pleasant from talking to Katarina about my music (no-one I know will bother trying any of it so its nice to talk about) not major progress, but still

 

Progress:

Tulpa Name: Katarina                        Tulpa Form: Red Fox

Latest Milestone: Creation

Vocal: NO             Moving: No             Sentience/Personality: No signs thereof              imposition: No                  Switching: No

 

Any critiques/advice/questions are welcome

Week 2 here we come

Edited by theguywiththeface

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11 hours ago, theguywiththeface said:

 maybe I need to stop worrying about parroting but I've read a lot of conflicting things about whether parroting at the start is good or bad so IDK.

 

People usually say parroting is bad because it can make it hard for you to distinguish from your tulpa actually talking to you and because it can lead to doubts later on. If all you do is thinking for your tulpa, then that won't help at all with their development. But there had been people who parroted their tulpas a lot and still were successful, so parroting doesn't automatically mean you're doing something wrong, as long as you don't abuse it. I wouldn't recommend it though, but just so you know that you won't fail if you accidentally parrot her on a few occasions.

 

 

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