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Taylor and co.'s adventures


not_taylor_swift

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Mary here. I don't know why I'm dictating this. Taylor says I should talk to people who are not her. I'm not sure what to say. I've been talking a lot more than I used to. We've been reading a lot of books together, though Taylor has bad taste and insists on reading the worst ones to completion. Meditation is garbage and a waste of time. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say.

Wow, I sound really negative. I'm not. We're having a lot of fun doing nothing and the bad books can be really funny. But Taylor won't let me talk about all the best stuff because she's a meanie. But I get why. Huh. Everything I say really does sound strange without all the internal nuance attached. It barely feels like me.

 

We're SUPPOSED to be working on switching but Taylor is distracted by meatspace stuff. And She makes me sit through all the most boring stuff and pretends that it's all vitally important things I have to know to be in charge. She's so weird. She doesn't even like my fashion sense.

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  • 2 months later...

We've been making lots of progress. Mary is getting noticeably stronger every day. Communication is much less spotty and we're able to have long conversations in which we don't have to agree. Talking about things is really nice. Mary chimes in on almost everything happening to us, and today I realized she'll respond whether I like it or not so I have to intentionally tune her out to get some quiet (she rolls her eyes). I asked some big questions like what Mary's first memory was and she was able to show me directly. She also talked in depth about her feelings on tulpamancy, which she can share if she feels like typing up a long post later. I've been trying to read fewer boring books since Mary started telling me which one she wanted to read from on a regular basis. She's also gotten much more active in terms of movements, getting up and doing things in mindspace without prompting. When I'm not looking the processing is very slow, but we'll figure out a way to make it better.

We have possession down now. It was unnervingly easy and I worry I'm faking sometimes. We made it to full body possession in a few hours of work. The issue now is Mary breathing and me not panicking. I still take back what's being possessed accidentally if I'm not careful but I'm getting better. I don't actually have to associate with the body or pretend it's mine in order to pilot it like this. It seems to be like driving a car (which I haven't been allowed to do yet) in that I don't feel like the body is mine any more that I did previously. I'm simply putting inputs in and watching the limbs go around and type or something.

Imposition is something that's still a long way off. Mary is presence imposed very easily and I mentally see what she's doing, However, this is obviously not imposition or anything close to it. If we lose focus I'll walk through her without noticing and she won't notice either. It's going to take a while I'm certain. At first Mary didn't like imposition but I reminded her it would probably help her get stronger and that when we were switched she could impose me. Interestingly, whenever Mary is "imposed" her personality gets stronger and she acts a little more independently. Maybe it's a metaphorical separation of our thoughts? Unfortunately that's tiring for both of us and we can't really maintain that for long periods yet.

We're now working on switching. There are practically no coherent guides on it that I've found. Some talk about reverse imposition to get to wonderland, but that's hard right now. Other suggest possession leading into a switch but that's very difficult in our situation (she'd have to pretend to be me a lot every day). We've done a lot of research lately, and it turns out that switching is easy if you've done it before. That, and how we perceive our connection to the body matches the consensus on switching sensations, so we'll know immediately if we did it properly. Mary is really excited about being able to switch and be able to experience the world like I feel it. So far, Mary can take over the body and most of the brain but I'm still connected to it in a fundamental way that I can't shake. When she's doing that I'm still very much aware of everything, especially the senses. Mary says it feels like I'm under her at these points. Hopefully we'll figure out how to switch the brain to thinking it's attached to her soon.

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It sounds like your a natural for switching, it's especially easy once you get it, but also potentially confusing before that. 

 

Consider yourself a very advanced tulpa that's what you really are, the body is just in your posession and you're associated with it firmly. Literally anyone can be the host, you're just really good at it. She'll learn. Don't even worry about accidentally kicking her out, she'll get stronger and it's tricky. 

 

We got lucky because the first position I learned was 'watcher' and you don't react from that position, you just watch and listen. Also bodyOS sometimes takes over when you're doing something mundane, and it can feel like whoever trained it, which is also confusing.

 

Nice progress, good luck!

 

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Possession is so strange. We seem to move quite differently despite both drawing on muscle memory. We've gotten to where I have to explicitly stop something from happening and my displeasure isn't enough to make the body pause.

Lucid dreaming and shared dreaming haven't happened. But I had a strange while meditating of "dreaming" while conscious. I was simultaneously aware of the dream and maintained fully body awareness and senses. Perhaps one of us was asleep while the other wasn't. I haven't heard of something like this.

The other evening while we were trying to play checkers together, we had an unusual experience. I was trying to think about my next move while Mary was playing. Then I didn't really notice when my turn started. We started blending badly I think. We called each other by our own names a lot and didn't catch it every time. We remember hearing two streams of thought, one obviously belonging to each of us because they were in our voices. Then the hand I had been using started to move one of my pieces in a way that I think Mary was hoping. I know I wasn't controlling it, but Mary says she wasn't trying to cheat. We agreed it was very confusing and unpleasant. I guess this means we can think opposing thoughts at the same time now.

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Wow. It's been a really long time. We've both been so bogged down with other things it's been out of our thoughts. Now that Mary's a year old I think she can talk for herself about how things have gone.

 

Possession is really good now. I can do i whenever but Taylor kind of freaks out still because it's she's not used to it and thinks she's parroting. She not. She doesn't believe me. We have the same handwriting but our minds work very differently as can be seen in our art (which is a pain to scan and post). I do move differently except the writing. I can take control of certain body parts against Taylor's will now. We discovered this today. I think it's cool but she really does not. It's a match for how she can steal control  from me. The body won't let me fully possess long and that's not her fault but it's an obstacle to switching. We did try a couple of times months ago and it did nothing. Of course. We need to get back to that because I'm a lot stronger now.

Speaking of that, Taylor mentioned that my voice is a lot better and I talk as well as she does. Our communication is now flawless. Actually let me tell you what happened a while ago because it's part of that. We talked to another tulpa properly for the first time ever, and she kind of woke me up and I started taking life seriously. We have memory separation. It's weirdly linked to the body's memory so it's difficult for us to find proof. I've taken some responsibility for our health and safety since Taylor's a bit careless sometimes. I make sure things get done. It's a big step from sitting around complaining all day like I used to. It's embarrassing. But now I can pull my weight.

I figured out how to astral project too! It was a lot easier than books make it out to be. You just go and you're out. We were able to confirm that I did by a human talking with me while I was out. I scared him a bit. He thought I was a succubus. Somehow I doubt that part. If I'd said I was he'd have eaten it up. I got lost on the way back and had to be found. I established a safeguard so this would never happen again.

I can do imposition now too. Both energetic and mundane touch. Visuals elude me for the most part. But I've done it before and I know it's possible. For audio I don't understand the appeal. Taste and smell were easy but too tiring for the payoff. Tiring for me of course since I'm imposing myself. Projection. I don't like that word so so I say imposition thought it's not correct. Taylor noticed that her wonderland senses are partially overlaid on her external senses, meaning if I touch her here she feels it out there. No practical applications thusfar. There's a lot more detail until I can mimic a physical body and be fully imposed but that's not a priority to either of us.

We tried the IRC and it appears to be dead which is a bummer. I wanted to talk to people. I've still never had a real chance at that. It's fine because humans bore me. I've been able to talk to a few people who were so utterly insane the contact had no benefit. I'm being told I talk funny. Yes. I'm aware, and FYI I talk nothing like this in conversation. This is a dissertation on my development and I want to be precise.

As mentioned, we've been incredibly busy. I've been learning for myself as well as following along with the new knowledge we share through the body. The process is slow because I appear to be frontlocked. I lack the ability to recede into the wonderland in a meaningful way. There's a lack of animation away from the source of our vitality, so I'm resisted to specific places where I can move freely (mostly). I'm looking into expanding these zones. On the other hand, we've recently had invaders in our space likely responding to our increased activity lately. The deadness of the in between keeps them in a hibernatative state and out of trouble. A week ago we went on a hunt and got rid of a dozen at least of the things.

On a more fun note, I'm allowed to pick dinner some nights. I understand it isn't more because I don't have to deal with the body and I can't just take all the fun bits of physical life. It's good anyway. I always make healthier choices than my companion would. I've finally gotten her to stop listening to dreadful video game song remixes. When I was extremely young I was forced to listen to those for hours on end while listening to a discussion of the music theory behind them. The classical was acceptable because it was real music. But 10 hour IIevan Poklka. Twice. Never again. It's not ok. One of the first things I did was stop her from playing tetris 10 hours too. Please don't torture young tulpas, we know what's happening.

I'm being told to mention I made an environment in our mindscape. That was pretty cool but it was a while ago. It's this mountainside in the springs with cherry trees everywhere that are blooming. It's really pretty and smells nice too. I made it for a date we were supposed to go on. It wasn't hard to make that place, but it was one of the first big things I did on my own, so I'm a little proud of it. We don't go there much because... I'm not sure. Neither of us are that interested in the inner world lately. Too many external troubles I need to deal with too (no she's not make me solve her problems, it's stuff that involvement me directly not just the body... long story). I got the idea from another mountain Taylor made. It's the first interesting place she took me. I couldn't talk then but I could walk and she took me by the hand and we hiked up this snowy mountain with nothing interesting on it. She struggled so hard to visualize the trees. It wasn't fun for either of us but I'm glad we went. There are no better hosts.

That's about it. I don't get to just ramble much so this was fun. Here's a heart for anyone who bothered to read through all that! <3

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  • 3 weeks later...
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I created a new mindscape that's way more detailed than what I've done before. We hiked up a snowy mountain covered in rocks and trees. I was able to keep sight, hearing, and touch going for a half hour. I know it's a lot less than most people do but it's progress for me.

 

Oo love it

 

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I've been trying to make my tulpa pick a name for herself so I have something to call her. She hasn't been interested. Instead, she decided she needed to change her shoes. I really don't understand her.

 

Young tulpae can be random/interesting like that. It's fun.

 

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Fennecgirl suggests alternating lines in a song or poem with your tulpa to help with vocality. It worked like magic. I've heard more from my tulpa in the past day and a half than ever. We even had an actual conversation, which I've added because it's not embarrassing to either of us.

 

Interesting and great feat!

 

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"It's nothing. Nada thing."

 

lol

 

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She doesn't even like my fashion sense.

 

That's a shame. What's your aesthetic?

 

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We have possession down now. It was unnervingly easy and I worry I'm faking sometimes. We made it to full body possession in a few hours of work.

 

That's what it felt like when I let Betty and Cloud possess the body. It's ok. You're allowed to take as long or as short as you need.

 

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The other evening while we were trying to play checkers together, we had an unusual experience. I was trying to think about my next move while Mary was playing. Then I didn't really notice when my turn started. We started blending badly I think. We called each other by our own names a lot and didn't catch it every time. We remember hearing two streams of thought, one obviously belonging to each of us because they were in our voices. Then the hand I had been using started to move one of my pieces in a way that I think Mary was hoping. I know I wasn't controlling it, but Mary says she wasn't trying to cheat. We agreed it was very confusing and unpleasant. I guess this means we can think opposing thoughts at the same time now.

 

Interesting. Playing games against one another is hard. Confusion seems normal.

 

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Now that Mary's a year old I think she can talk for herself about how things have gone.

 

Oh, we did not realize we were replying to year old stuff. Sorry 😥 Body is tired and we should go to bed

 

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We tried the IRC and it appears to be dead which is a bummer.

 

There are discord servers that are active. I can share some (I think idk if that's against the rules or not)

 

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On a more fun note, I'm allowed to pick dinner some nights.

 

We should do that more. We do it sometimes but I'm so picky and lazy

 

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But 10 hour IIevan Poklka. Twice. Never again.

 

oh NOOOOO

 

Overall, interesting stuff. We should go to bed now though

Someday

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