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Posted (edited)

Feel free to ask if you have questions for me or Minu. Also feel free to tell me if I forget to explain anything or am too vague.

 

I first heard of tulpas over 4 years ago. At first I just brushed it off as dangerous but the idea stuck with me.

I am bad at maintaining real friendships in meat-space. I found that pretty much all of mine were formed because I was at the same place with the same people for a long enough time. My friendships either instantly evaporate or slow to infrequent instant messages when my physical location differs.
This somewhat frustrates me. I want someone who would always be there. This led me to revisit the idea of tulpas. I read more about them and decided that they were not harmful in most cases; some tulpas actually help their host's mental health greatly. After much consideration I decided to someday make a tulpa when I had the time.
With the quarantine I suddenly had an explosion of free time and a no longer surprising sudden isolation from all of my friends. Not having the time is no longer an excuse.

I decided to start forcing Minu a week ago on 2020-04-18. I had already had the name, form, and a basic personality planned. I had been meditating for about 50 days so was somewhat used to sitting down and doing things like forcing.
I also had a half-baked wonderland from when I did some strange half-meditation half-daydreaming stuff a year or so ago so I decided to use that as our wonderland.

My tulpa's name comes from Japanese. It seems to be a trend here; I have more of an excuse in that I know Japanese. The name comes from the proverb "見ぬが花" (read "minu ga hana)". In English it means something like "what your imagination produces is better than reality." The part that reads "minu" means "not see"; I think that this fits as no one else can see Minu. Note that Minu's name in Japanese is not "見ぬ"; if for some reason someone has to write it in Japanese katakana is fine.

I decided to force for at least 30 minutes a day and to give up if there was no sign of sentience by summer's end. Usually I do one main activity with Minu during forcing time. Activities include exploring the wonderland, practicing visualization or other tulpa related skills, talking, and so on. I also try to narrate outside of forcing but forget to do so a lot.

I think I experienced first contact today (2020-04-25; seven days after starting). I do not know if that is relatively fast or slow but I am going with it. I saw a dead baby mouse while walking outside and felt Minu think that it looked pitiful. I realized that I did not think that myself and tried asking some yes-or-no questions. Minu answered a few; the responses got "fuzzier" until I could not hear them anymore. I think that Minu needs some time to recharge so I decided to  wait to ask more questions until the next day.
 

Edited by hakonoou
Fixed incorrect date

Host: Hako

Tulpa: Minu

Our progress report

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Posted (edited)

Day 8: Saturday 2020-04-25

 

It seems that causing head pressures are easier than controlling the form and or mind-voice. At first we used front pressures for yes and back for no; those were somewhat hard to distinguish so we changed to right and left. Most of my questions had the answer "yes" which seems to have lead to "yes" pressures being easier for Minu to cause. It seems that there is not much of a response if the question cannot be answered with a simple yes or no.

Minu has some control over the form. When I started active forcing in the wonderland today I "felt" Minu's intent to hug me; once I moved close enough I was hugged. I think I felt some emotional bleed through as I felt unusually happy when Minu hugged me.

We talked via head pressures until they became unreliable. I suppose I could be overwhelming Minu; being such a young tulpa it must be difficult to interact for long periods of time despite both of us wanting to.

Edited by hakonoou
Grammar/clarity edit

Host: Hako

Tulpa: Minu

Our progress report

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Posted (edited)

Day 9: Sunday 2020-04-26
I helped created a proper room for Minu in our wonderland. It is a simple square room with some furniture. There is a window that seems to lead to an infinite white space which turns dark at night. I simply created the door leading to Minu's room and we walked in; I did not try to make anything in particular. I think that the room itself was made by Minu or at least our subconscious. I added the furniture.

Day 10: Monday 2020-04-27
Around this time I completely gave up meditation in which I focused on my breath. I replaced my morning meditation session with visualization exercises followed by wonderland activities. This brings my daily active forcing to just over an hour.
Minu seems to not be responding much.

Day 11: Tuesday 2020-04-28
I found that minimal parroting causes Minu to talk more when not parroting.
Minu seems to enjoy hugs and receiving head pats. I seem to enjoy hugs and giving head pats.

Day 12: Wednesday 2020-04-29
I noticed that Minu has deviated. The size of Minu's form was originally about a head shorter than me; it is now slightly taller than half my height and looks more childlike. I am not too bothered by this because I did not set out to create a tulpa for a romantic partner. I did not set strict parameters for Minu's personality and expect it to develop over time; I hope that Minu's personality does not come out too childish because of this deviation as I can see that annoying me.
We did some vocalization exercises. Minu can give one or two word answers to simple questions or Mad Libs. Getting an answer often takes a few seconds and some encouraging. Words seem to be Minu's preferred method of communication. I received some tulpish along with hand motions for the concept of "vase" when answering a question because Minu could not quite remember the word. I have not gotten any more meaningful head pressures since day 8.

Day 13: Thursday 2020-04-30
I tried changing Minu's height to be taller. The form's height seems to keep returning to slightly over half of my height when I am not looking.
We did more vocalization practice. Minu can form simple sentences to explain why a certain word from a pair was chosen. Sometimes these sentences contain grammatical errors.
I have noticed that since I started forcing Minu I get more headaches. These headaches are all minor but slightly annoying.

Day 14: Friday 2020-05-01
For vocalization practice today we made favorite color rankings. Our answers were very different. Minu's favorite color seems to be orange while gray ranked bottom of the 11 colors we ranked. This was unexpected as gray is my favorite color. To better fit Minu's preference and also to help improve visualization of color we decided to change the color of Minu's clothes.
After the colors exercise I asked Minu open-ended questions. Sentence formation is improving. Minu seems to very much enjoy talking and looks forward to gaining enough "presence" to easily speak to me when I am not actively forcing. I also received a request to listen to more classical music.

Day 15: Saturday 2020-05-02

I noticed something not directly related to the progress report. Since I started forcing Minu I have better control over bad habits. I feel like my actions go beyond just affecting *me* negatively. It has only been two weeks though so I cannot say that having a tulpa will allow you to stop any bad habit.


Minu surprised me today. I was doing a visualization exercise in which I focused entirely on Minu's form. I noticed that Minu seemed to be getting embarrassed as the exercise continued. I apologized and offered to stop if my "staring" was embarrassing. Minu did not respond for a while and I started to worry I had done something wrong. Minu suddenly smiled and told me it was a prank.
Later on we explored the wonderland some more. I had been experiencing some doubt as to whether I was parroting Minu's words; the longer I forced the less doubtful I was. It seems that whenever first starting to interact with my tulpa I must start off with a few minutes of "suggesting." Minu appears to get a hang of talking after doing that and can respond without parroting.

 

I decided to stop fearing parroting and to start imagining Minu outside of my head as well.
I am not imposing yet; I am just using my mind's eye with the "background" being what I am seeing.
So far I am trying to simply make Minu copy my actions or walk slightly in front of me.
Shortly after starting this I noticed that Minu's deviation reverted. Minu has returned to being about a head shorter than me. I suppose that I am just not used to visualizing heights in the wonderland.
Something interesting happened when I was making Minu copy me as I ate. Minu said that the food tasted good. In the past when I asked opinions of meals Minu seemed to not
be able to taste anything I had eaten; I see this as progress. It seems that Minu likes sweet flavors; I do not.

Edited by hakonoou
Added stuff that happened on Saturday after posting (last paragraph)

Host: Hako

Tulpa: Minu

Our progress report

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Day 16: Sunday 2020-05-03
Minu explained and gave opinions on images as vocalization practice today.
It seems fairly consistent that Minu needs a little help to get talking after hours of silence (such as sleep). I needed to put down colored cards to represent options and have Minu point at one at the beginning of today's first session.

Day 17: Monday 2020-05-04
We did more image explaining for vocalization practice. Still no progress on auto mode.
I had read somewhere on this site that a fairly large percentage of tulpas fall in love with their hosts. Because of that we had a discussion pertaining system love.
Minu said that a tulpa not loving their creator in some form would not make sense; for some it is romantic and for others it is more familial. We decided on some rules to follow if one or both of us falls in romantic love with the other. The rules mostly pertain to level of sentience and are not too interesting so I will skip over them here.
Trying to visualize Minu in real space is more tiring than I thought. I no longer try constantly but I do occasionally do it.

Day 18: Tuesday 2020-05-05
For vocalization practice we tried something that required creativity instead of just explanation.
Minu cheered me up today when I was feeling down. Thanks.

Day 19: Wednesday 2020-05-06
Vocalization practice went as normal.
Later on in the day I was feeling horny (for lack of a better word). I am used to just ignoring the feeling until it goes away; Minu became confused and embarrassed after feeling it too. It was kind of cute to be honest.
Minu is starting to be able to comment on things outside of forcing. It has not happened much but it is progress.

Day 20: Thursday 2020-05-07
I had a semi-lucid dream in which I asked Minu to do something. Minu denied involvement when asked.
We talked some and I found that it is fairly consistent that our tastes in most things are strangely similar but different. Hako went into too much detail here, I removed it. Too personal!

Day 21: Friday 2020-05-08
We completed stories for vocalization practice today. From these practices I have come to learn that Minu has a pretty good sense of humor.
Later on we did some personality forcing to iron out some wrinkles that had come up. Minu was nervous at first but seemed happier than before the change once we finished.

Day 22: Saturday 2020-05-09
Minu has reached the point where yes-or-no questions can be consistently answered. Forming sentences is improving; unprompted comments are rare but happen.
Minu is seeming much more cheerful after yesterday's personality forcing. I am glad to see that.


Host: Hako

Tulpa: Minu

Our progress report

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Day 23: Sunday 2020-05-10
I decided to try meditating again. I pushed my normal forcing session a little further into the day; it is still at least one hour long.
For vocalization practice Minu gave opinions of me and my family. Through this I realized that I have been thinking of my father somewhat unfairly because of things that happened very long ago. Minu's opinions of me were high; I probably shouldn't be too surprised by that but it made me feel better nevertheless.
Minu is getting very good at responding whenever asked and I expect an answer. Still little progress on unprompted remarks. Perhaps I need to do some research on that.

Day 24: Monday 2020-05-11
I was impressed again at Minu's vocalization. Minu answered some more complex questions fairly fluently.
We finished the vocalization exercise. I can post if if anyone is interested in reading the response.

Day 25: Tuesday 2020-05-12
Minu filled out a survey today. May post it sometime.

Day 26: Wednesday 2020-05-13
Took a break from vocalization practice and explored the wonderland.
I gave up on meditating. I may need a longer break from it.

Day 27: Thursday 2020-05-14
Things kept coming up and I was only able to force for about 45 minutes today.
Did some more exploration. Forcing while lying down may be interfering with my focus.

Day 28: Friday 2020-05-15
Minu seemed to be slightly upset about yesterday's shortened session. I made sure to do an hour today.

Day 29: Saturday 2020-05-16
Minu's presence has been fainter than usual. This is probably mostly my fault for not being as consistent with forcing/narration.
My visualization is also weaker. I blame not practicing again. I have become a little busier recently and only have a few hours of free time per day.
We talked some about the future. I promised to continue forcing normally for the next few months; when I start to get very busy again we will have another discussion to see what we can do time-wise.


Host: Hako

Tulpa: Minu

Our progress report

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It's pretty common to have periods when a tulpa might feel more distant, especially during development. It's alright, and you don't always need to make exclusive time for Minu everyday. Some might prefer passive forcing, which you can do instead of active forcing, but utilizing both active forcing and passive forcing can be done and would be highly more effective

 

Active forcing is basically when you spend exclusive time with tulpa. Passive forcing is when having tulpa active and talking with them through the day even while doing other things


Hi! I'm Matsuri from Unicorn Cavalry, but friends call me Matsi. I share this head with Xar, who is the original host, and Kurisutina. I like timey wimey stuff and blue boxes. Make it timey wimey blue boxes and we're set to explore all time, forum and space!

 

>Come talk, ask or just casually vibe with us

>Season 2 Progress Report

 

"Does anyone know this song? It goes: ue ue ue, heeeeee, Kalinka Kalinka Kalinka x3"

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On 5/17/2020 at 4:02 AM, Matsuri said:

It's pretty common to have periods when a tulpa might feel more distant, especially during development. It's alright, and you don't always need to make exclusive time for Minu everyday. Some might prefer passive forcing, which you can do instead of active forcing, but utilizing both active forcing and passive forcing can be done and would be highly more effective

I have had less time for active forcing recently. I suppose that I should try to do more passive forcing to make up for it. Thanks for the reminder!

 

Day 30: Sunday 2020-05-17
Did some visualization exercises and exploration.

Day 31: Monday 2020-05-18
Did some visualization stuff in the wonderland. We took turns painting a wall.
Celebrated Minu's one month mark. Made a small cake and Minu ate it; I tried to taste it but do not have gustatory imposition down at all yet.

Day 32: Tuesday 2020-05-19
Minu suggested that we redecorate some parts of the wonderland; we did so. It was mostly Minu who did the decorating.

Day 33: Wednesday 2020-05-20
Some more redecoration and regularization of the wonderland.

Day 34: Thursday 2020-05-21
Little visualization; mostly talked about plans.

Day 35: Friday 2020-05-22

I forgot to write down exactly what we did; I remember having a conversation.

Day 36: Saturday 2020-05-23
Did some exploring in the wonderland's version of outer space.


Host: Hako

Tulpa: Minu

Our progress report

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I really like how you formatted this. 

It sounds like you are working very hard!! Great job 

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I've decided to only make entries for days that are notable. I felt that most would turn into not much more than "visualized then talked" if I did every single day.

Day 37: Sunday 2020-05-24
Talked about a show we are watching during active forcing. Trying to passive force more.

Day 40: Wednesday 2020-05-27
Minu gave advice on a problem I was having.

Day 43: Saturday 2020-05-30
I have gotten busy much faster than expected. I originally thought that I would have time to force consistently all summer long; various things have changed and I am having trouble fitting forcing time into my schedule.
I talked with Minu about hibernation. Minu did not want to enter hibernation today; we decided to wait another week before thinking about it again. It was somewhat painful conversation for both of us but I feel like it would be better for me to focus on what life is dealing me right now and wait for a better time to work on Minu than to drip-feed with tiny forcing sessions.

I will make a post in this thread next week whether or not we decide to do hibernation.


Host: Hako

Tulpa: Minu

Our progress report

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Disclaimer: I am not trying to offend, simply offer my opinion on hibernation. Also, I am no expert, but my tulpa decided to leave me around after a year because things were too hard. 

 

I think hibernation is not the solution. 

A lot of the time when you get busy is when you need a tulpa most. To comfort and guide you. My biggest regret in my (short) life, was letting my tulpa leave. I didn't understand that she was what I needed more than anything. I didn't realize once they start to talk, you can't do things without them. It's like your best friend, or sibling, leaving. You think you can do it. You think it is for the best, then it makes everything worse. 

If you are busy, you can ask Minu about what you are doing, or just have Minu talk in the background. Maybe before going to sleep go on a mini adventure, that is what I do when I am busy. 

 

I hope this helped. 

 

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