soyrenato

Dividing the psyche into tulpa-partitions.

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Hello everyone. 

I wanted to share something with you, and get your thoughts, as well. 

 

Since I was a little kid, and before I knew anything about servitors, thoughtforms, tulpas, etc. I got into a habit of what I would call, "just going along for the ride". Which is how I coped going through circumstances that were very unpleasant. I would take a long of comfort, knowing that no matter what was happening to me "on the outside", that the "real me" was hunkering down in the back of my mind, just watching and observing, waiting to come back out later. Perhaps this is a natural feature of the brain, such as in the (more serious) cases of dissociative identity disorder (where the mind creates multiple personalities as a response to great trauma)? 

 

Anyway. Lately I've been very much more interested in my own psyche, the inner workings of my mind and soul. I've seen my subconscious "flare up" during dreams, as well as altered states of mind during awake, and I've recently learned things about myself I never imagined before. 

 

I deal with a lot of conflicting thoughts and feelings in my life at the moment, and am stressed out very often. I notice that I've begun to "partition" parts of my mind into various "complexes", for lack of better term. And today I've read an article about a *benefit* of dissociative identify disorder. The DID patient in particular claimed that her alters allowed her to cope with various struggles and challenges that she would never be able to do without. Of course, I think DID is serious and I'm not trying to "get DID" voluntarily. I'm merely pointing out this one positive quirk of this disorder, and I see no reason why one couldn't pursue developing this aspect for their own benefit. 

 

To name a few:

My deepest fears, some of which haunt me daily, have been grouped into a single entity, which takes the shape of a rather mean looking dog.

My passion for traveling, restlessness, in-content, and fond memories of being with my family overseas has been grouped into another entity. 

I've also created/separated an entity for my passions and sex drive, which has taken a form of a large tiger. 

 

I've created a sigil for each entity. As well as giving them a face. Some are animals, but many are faces from a AI generated face website. ("thispersondoesnotexist"). My hopes are, that I'll better be able to cope with my problems, and better explore my psyche and learn more about myself, if the mess that is my mind is neatly sub-divided into these kind of portions/entities. 

 

I have come to believe these are types of tulpas...what do you think? And do you think what I'm doing is a good idea? 

 

I'd love to hear your guys' thoughts on this.

 

Thanks in advance ! 

 

 

 

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My friend has what you're describing, he calls them 'jeffos'. He summons them whenever he wants to aim for feeling a specific emotion and his 'jeffos' help him achieving that. In a sense I have one too, as Erika only seems to appear whenever I have a burst of existential dread or nightmares.

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Using symbols to better understand yourself is a form of creative expression and there's nothing wrong with that. The biggest thing I would watch out for is how you interact with your symbolism.

Assume your symbolism is you, and make sure you are thinking for your symbolism than expecting your symbolism to think for itself. If you feel like you are talking to your symbolism as if they were a separate entity, I would stop what you're doing and change gears. Instead of talking to your symbols, imagine them as characters in a story and you talking as your symbols to an NPC.

Before discovering tulpamancy, I made "clones" of myself for a very similar reason. I wanted to talk to certain aspects of myself to get a better understanding of who I am. In reality, it was a coping method to avoid talking to myself due to my self-hatred and I was trying to understand why I was broken by creating tulpas that represented the "broken" pieces. I treated them like separate people who lived in my head, and after discovering tulpamacy realized I created at least 17 tulpas that are still around now, and possibly more that I don't wish to go looking for.
 

21 hours ago, soyrenato said:

I would take a long of comfort, knowing that no matter what was happening to me "on the outside", that the "real me" was hunkering down in the back of my mind, just watching and observing, waiting to come back out later. Perhaps this is a natural feature of the brain, such as in the (more serious) cases of dissociative identity disorder (where the mind creates multiple personalities as a response to great trauma)? 


I honestly don't know, but I would be cautious to assume this is related to DID/OSDD. You may want to ask that specific question in a plurality discord server with both tulpa and traumatic systems.

I had a slightly different idea. I assumed I had a "subconscious" and he lived in the dream world waiting for me to discover him. I assumed he observed me while I was dreaming, unaware of his presence. It turns out he is the oldest tupa in my system and currently remains very attracted to basically metaphysical power over the unconscious mind.

 

21 hours ago, soyrenato said:

I deal with a lot of conflicting thoughts and feelings in my life at the moment, and am stressed out very often. I notice that I've begun to "partition" parts of my mind into various "complexes", for lack of better term. And today I've read an article about a *benefit* of dissociative identify disorder. The DID patient in particular claimed that her alters allowed her to cope with various struggles and challenges that she would never be able to do without. Of course, I think DID is serious and I'm not trying to "get DID" voluntarily. I'm merely pointing out this one positive quirk of this disorder, and I see no reason why one couldn't pursue developing this aspect for their own benefit. 


Based on my best understanding of DID, the "benefit" is to be unaware of the trauma and continue to live a normal life. The trade off is having little control over your life, retaining some of the symptoms of having a trauma history (such as being at risk for having PTSD flashbacks, heightened anxiety, difficulty in self-regulation and ability to have relationships with others, dissociation, etc.) and amnesia.

Working together to help with life is a generally accepted benefit to plurality in general. Tulpa systems experience the same thing, where hosts and tulpas work together to get through rough or stressful times.

 

21 hours ago, soyrenato said:

My hopes are, that I'll better be able to cope with my problems, and better explore my psyche and learn more about myself, if the mess that is my mind is neatly sub-divided into these kind of portions/entities. 


I found using tulpamancy as a coping tool to not help with my problems. Writing stories and using symbolism and metaphors can help you become more aware on how you feel, creating tulpas to represent your troubles just creates a lot of in-system stress and makes you less confident in how much control you really have. I only got better until I learned how to stop making tulpas, learned how to effectively communicate with Ranger, and receiving therapy from my therapist.


Pretty much my main wonderland form minus the cat parts, that's a separate form. I'm not a hippo, I promise.

I sometimes speak in pink and Ranger sometimes speaks in blue (if it's unmarked and colored assume it's Ranger). He loves to chat.

 

My other Tulpas have their own account now.

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Posted (edited)

Hi Soyrenato: The pathways to self-knowledge are many. You have picked one and are walking it. It is said, that " those who seek, find", and in my experience, that is a truism. I wouldn't worry about giving yourself DID. You are consciously choosing this route, and the tulpas you are creating. DID is a disease process, and definitely not consciously created.

Keep on truckin' bro.   Dr. Bob

Edited by theholodoc

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