Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Day 2, July 10th

 

Second day of forcing with Redd. Mostly passive with about 30-45 minutes of actively reading tulpa guides to him. I can more strongly feel when he's paying attention, now. It's like a big smooth rock in the back of my head, with a little bit of pressure. I can get him to pay attention by thinking his name at him, and especially if I say it out loud.

 

After reading more guides with him I decided to take a break by watching a makeup tutorial on YouTube. Instead of that feeling of pressure fading away like it usually does when I'm not talking to him, it actually sharpened and I got the distinct impression he was watching with me. I was not expecting him to be interested in makeup, so I guess this is the first surprising thing or "deviation" he's done. 

 

I can't wait to see what comes next.

Link to post
Share on other sites
(edited)

Day 3 (july 11) with Redd, getting very specific head pressure from him. Left means yes, right means no, forehead means maybe/unsure. Back means I don't know. 

 

I asked him around noon if he wanted to keep reading tulpa guides with me or watch Netflix, assigned each option to a side of my head and he wanted to watch Netflix!

 

I'm very sure that this is Redd communicating with me, I can't purposefully make myself feel head pressure like he makes, and the consistency with answers appearing soon after I ask a question means that it isn't just random headaches.

I'm absolutely floored this is happening so quickly.

 

(Just asked Redd if he was surprised too and he answered "no" hahaha)

Edited by Cloud
Formatting
Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 3

 

Redd: I'm trying out having Cloud type out my thoughts, we read a guide saying that it would help me with vitality. The current setup with me giving head pressure is unsustainable, it causes too much discomfort in Cloud to maintain long conversations. I'll let them finish up the report. 

 

So yeah! That's Redd. He's a lot more formal in his writing than when we're chatting. He says he wants people to understand him more clearly.

 

Headaches while talking to him are becoming incredibly uncomfortable, I think I'll be taking a bit of a break tomorrow. We tried a bit of parroting to help Redd find his voice, he says he found it helpful because he didn't know what to sound like. 

 

So there you go, not all parroting is evil. We still need to work on separating his mindvoice from mine, it still sounds like it's coming from me.

 

Redd: Only time and practice will tell. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Day... 10? 11?


Had a great moment with Redd! I was feeling so stressed out about some stuff I couldn't really do anything about, and we decided to try and meditate on it. I very vividly imagined Redd sitting crossleged in front of me in the mind space, and we had a great conversation dealing with what was stressing me out. We then symbolically got rid of the worries that were bothering me. I instantly felt 100x better, it was incredible. He's surprisingly sweet and understanding, considering how much of an arrogant asshole he pretends to be.
This was also the first time I saw him without booting up what I imagined him as, he chose what he looked like.
He's not human anymore, more like some kind of elf/pixie. In his words "why would anyone choose to be human when you can be literally anything?" 

Link to post
Share on other sites
(edited)

Day something

 

Redd has been rapidly switching ages and feeling very sad and unsure of his place. The youngest he was, was around 8 to 10? I've noticed he gets younger when he's feeling stressed out or sad so I can comfort him. We did our meditation,  talking about what's been bothering him and pulled out a big staticky ball of anxiety that we dumped in the river. He's feeling a lot better and I assured him that I'll always be there for him, no matter what age he wants to be. 

 

We read a post on the subreddit about how you shouldn't start making a tulpa when you're depressed or have anxiety issues, and that people with tulpas are inherently more fragile than singlet minds, and got really freaked out that he was going to hurt me. Like make my anxiety worse or cause my intrusive thoughts to manifest into a demon. I assured him that everything was going to be okay, we'd start going to a professional if we needed help. We both calmed down a lot and he's back to his birdlike form and adult age. 

Edited by Cloud
Link to post
Share on other sites

"We read a post on the subreddit about how you shouldn't start making a tulpa when you're depressed or have anxiety issues..."

 

I was in the deepest depths of depression. I don't think I would have made it out without their love and constant support, and they absolutely loved to help. In fact, one of mine was a little nostalgic when I recovered, lol.

 

As far as I've seen, issues with mood and intrusive thoughts are very common.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...