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Nyarlat-Hotep's progress report


Nyarlat-hotep

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Yazoo is bored. I think. Presence imposition is pretty easy so I've been having him tagging along behind me at work. And I can only think that either he's very bored or still very unaware. When I try to picture him to check for communcation in the form of a facial expression or anything, he's just very...neutral. Like a sleepy person or a person on painkillers. I also tried to picture him standing in front of me and got the image of him slumping over a shelf with his head on his crossed arms. Whether this is an experssion of his boredom or mine, I don't know. My narrating has been a little dry, but everything I've read says that doesn't matter. On the other hand, he did make a couple changes to his appearance, so that's good.

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Yazoo is...no longer bored? He's markedly more active and animate today.  Still no words, but facial expressions and emotions. His form got precious little screen time and was always deadpan so I've been trying to envision him smiling and laughing. Also working on imposition. I was explaining objects around the house to him and he seems interested in my scented candles. So I explained how candles work and lit the one he seems to like most for him. I don't have a question but comments and feedback are always welcome.

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Alright. Well I've been keeping Yazoo in my peripheral vision and talking to him as much as possible. Not really expecting words yet but getting emotions and expressions so that's alright. But something interesting happened.

 

He, perhaps, wants a name change. Perhaps.

It could also be me. Here’s the thing: As much as I like Yazoo the character, I’ve always thought the name was odd at best and kind of dumb at worst. It never really seemed to fit a stoic, cunning character, borderline comedic as it sounds. And today, a thought that I can't 100% attribute to either of us and therefore I'm gonna give it to him because that's how this works I feel, occurred: a variation on the name that looks and sounds better might be good.

 

Because it was boring today, I had time to ponder spellings and attempt to bounce them off him. Something similar to Iago kept coming up for spelling and the pronunciation ee-ah-zoo as opposed to yah-zoo. I, or he(still working on that) came up with Iazu. Said quickly it definitely sounds like Yazoo but has the 3 syllables instead of 2. I think the unique name is a good thing and helps him take a step away from the character. And I think I should stick with the variation unless he says very clearly otherwise because to do otherwise could be denying sentience or shoving him back into the 'character box'.

 

Another thing happened that's worth noting. I googled Iazu and learned that it's actually the name of a place in Romania. That led me to finding a pronunciation guide to see if the place was pronounced like the name variation was. I got a fairly solid feeling of annoyance, that if put into words would be something along the lines of he didn't care how the place was pronounced and googling it was pointless because the fact was it's his name and it's pronounced like he says it's pronounced.

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(edited)

Sorry I'm late to the party.

 

"I think of myself as being pretty creative, which hopefully will help?"

 

Yes, definitely.

 

"So what does everyone think [about a borrowed form]?"

 

Great, no issues afaik.

 

"I just go for narrating as much as possible throught the day, right? Is it better to chatter about whatever occurs to me and parrot for a while or focus on describing Yazoo to himself?"

 

My goal has always been to keep them all active constantly. I did this by picturing them on a couch watching me. This developed into a rich and functional wonderland for them where they can basically do whatever they want. This is controversial, but afaik, they do things there whenever and whatever they want. They've been self-forcing like this from the first few months on. They don't go dormant when I don't think of them, they're always at least passive. Also, parroting is a valid way of doing it, it might be harder to avoid parroting paranoia later, but it too will pass. After the first 8 months, they had done so many independent things, I didn't doubt anymore.

 

"I read something about imposition but they're behind you so it's more about the presence than trying to picture them perfectly?"

 

For me there's two worlds, mindspace and material space. When I impose them, they're invisible and I only get mindvoice, but I can picture them in mindspace nearly as good as real on demand. Here's the thing, if I impose them, then remember it, and it's fully real and immersive. My memories of the material event has them fully realized in them. So what I do is impose them, then remember it, but there's a little extra effort there. So I enjoy immersing in mindspace rather than imposing them, but the memories aren't as vivid. So I do appreciate the time I invest in imposition because it adds a richness and fulfillment to my memories with them.

 

"Yazoo is bored."

 

Give him the mental freedom to explore. This is also controversial, but I have proven to myself at least that they can have a rich and fulfilling daily existence without my prompting. All forcing is good, the more the better, but they will continue to develop outside of your focused consciousness, based on my experience and interpretation of others' experiences. This only adds richness, but many doubt this, that's fine, don't let it take away from forcing. If it works for you, all the better. It works for us.

 

"...name change..."

 

We've had our share.

I've enjoyed your PR so far, looking forward to more! ^-^

Edited by Bear
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  • 2 weeks later...

Mini update: trying to observe Iatsu's movements by keeping him around but not paying so much attention that I puppet him. This feels like it involves using JUST enough brain cells while keeping the rest on a mindless task like coloring. He seems nearly childlike. Energetic, likes moving/twirling/dancing. Lip syncs silently to the radio. Smiles a lot. Having seen the movie his form is from and how serious the character was on screen, a bubbly, smiling Yazoo is a bizarre image. Of course Iatsu is not Yazoo, I get it.

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Quick thought: does anyone else just randomly try to picture their tulpa without consciously choosing a pose or anything kind of just 'hey what are you doing'? I've been doing that and normally the image of Iatsu I catch is a neutral, natural expression. Just whatever comes to mind more or less. Today I got something interesting. Without any intention on my part I got him leaning with his arms on a table-like surface and laughing so hard that he laid his head on his arms. There was nothing going on at the time. Thoughts?

 

Oh and a bit of encouragement: yesterday I caught a faint 'message' from him while I was watching/helping a coworker. His first words? "Well she's boring."

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It sounds like there's progress!

 

Historically, I would catch them doing all sorts of things. Since we switched on wonderland 24/7 I don't catch them randomly doing things I didn't already know because the omniscient and unblinking eye of Bear is always watching you.

 

If I'm really focused on something they will sometimes be somewhere else. Joy and Ren used to spend a lot of time 'way back' which is to say out of my attention, which of course is controversial to say, but they would come back in good spirits and with a lot of fun to share, so who cares why or how. They also sometimes went dormant, especially Ren and Gwen. Ashley used to spend time doing other things as well, we don't talk about that here anymore, it hasn't stopped her though.

 

Now mostly the main three, which is everyone who is active post merge, will happily stay on the couch and chat as I go about my workday. They are usually watching me and ready to interject about just about anything, and I greatly appreciate it. 

 

They do move on their own, so to your question, yes.

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