TBnRB's Meditation POWWOW

[ringgggg]

Cool experience number 2

 

I did the usual thing of maintaining my peripheral awareness whilst gradually shrinking my focus down to just my body. It was a struggle to keep my eyes closed and still, and then all of a sudden it just stopped. It was like this huge wave of ethereal calmness came over me, which thankfully settled my crazy eyes. However, it became a lot harder to focus in that moment, so I did as the book instructed me to do and increased my realm of focus to spread across my entire body.

 

To make things easier on myself, I gave myself a visual aid through visualizing a ball with a ribbon trailing behind that rose and fell with every passing breath.

 

I continued to pour my efforts in maintaining the calmness, and a few minutes after this crazy feeling came over me. Picture that moment when you're about to rest and get that random feeling of falling; that's basically it. It felt like I was falling backwards into a tube down into the depths of my head. As I experienced this sensation, my neck and jaw began to tingle and itch all over. And just like that, I returned to the ethereal calmness I described before. A couple minutes later, I ended the session.

 

I would rate that experience 8/10. Things like these fuel my will to meditate.

[TB]

That's neat. I think you are having more experiences than I did. Except for my piti that happened twice my meditations are mundane as far as I remember 

Edited May 15, 2023 by TB

[ringgggg]

Around these past few days, I’ve finally gotten a taste of what subtle dullness has up its arsenal, and boy has it hit me hard.

 

I can’t go 2 minutes into my sit without nodding off and having to readjust my focus. It’s really annoying.

 

I hope I’m getting enough sleep. I had a sport-related schedule change recently, which has pushed my sleep time back 30 minutes. I’m a sensitive sleeper, so 30 minutes is a lot of time spent.

 

I’ll go read up on how to resolve the issue so that it hopefully doesn’t become an issue for much longer.

Edited May 17, 2023 by ringgggg

[TB]

On 5/16/2023 at 8:12 PM, ringgggg said:

I’ll go read up on how to resolve the issue so that it hopefully doesn’t become an issue for much longer.

How's fighting dullness going? Also if you are nodding off I think that is gross/strong dullness not subtle. Breathing out intensely through pursed lips or tensing all your muscles then relaxing them are some ways to fight that. I usually only ever deal with it though if I didn't get enough sleep. If I've slept enough it's not a problem

 

Also thought I'd take the time to try and talk about a meditation I've come across a couple times lately. I don't understand it too well though so go research it elsewhere, but it is called neti neti. It means, "Not this, not that". You ask yourself "who am I?" or "what am I?" and then sit and watch for whatever your mind conjures up as an answer, and whatever it is you think of is not this, nor that. I am TB. Not this. I am a drawer. Not that. I am a female. Not this. I am a meditator. Not that.

 

So that's basically it. You could just say "not this, not this" too but "not this, not that" sounds cooler to me. The stronger your concentration is the more profound this meditation can be I think, and it is what can tip someone over the edge into enlightenment. How does it do that I do not know, but it is a koan and koans tend to do that for some reason. Something to do with how the mind will struggle to answer the question to the point is has to reach a state where all paradoxes can exist simultaneously in the infinite

[TB]

On 5/16/2023 at 8:12 PM, ringgggg said:

Around these past few days, I’ve finally gotten a taste of what subtle dullness has up its arsenal, and boy has it hit me hard.

 

This article might be useful for you. I've only scanned so far but it seems to be about using Kasina meditation to deal with dullness

 

 

[ringgggg]

I need help

 

I just started my sit today and this real strong uncomfortable feeling just rose out of nowhere. The ambiance around me just got to me and I felt crazy frustrated. It got to the point where it was like I was mad at everything for just those couple of seconds

 

The book said something about 'primal drives' welling up. Should I just chalk it up to that? Maybe I just need to read more into it

 

Edit: I also felt a tingling sensation when confronting these thoughts. It was like I was trying to even resist meditation in the first place. I sat again a good 10 minutes before this edit and while the initial things I associated with meditation from that point on were present, the very same urge welled up after just a few minutes.

 

That's enough proof for me to determine that it wasn't just a one-time thing. Also consulted the book too and it said something along the lines of the situation. I just didn't think that the issue would reach me up until this point.

Edited June 20, 2023 by ringgggg

[TB]

2 hours ago, ringgggg said:

I just started my sit today and this real strong uncomfortable feeling just rose out of nowhere. The ambiance around me just got to me and I felt crazy frustrated. It got to the point where it was like I was mad at everything for just those couple of seconds

What was the uncomfortable feeling like? Was it physical? Or was it emotional? Those things can happen in meditation, it is probably a sign of progress actually. You will go through some bumpiness as you go along your meditation path. The anger especially I empathize with very much. I've had random intense bouts of anger while meditating before. Sounds like a potential purification.

 

Try to just step back and have equanimity with it all. Shinzen Young has a phrase called "recycling the reaction". This means using these emotional reactions in your body as your meditation object. We have a tendency to contract and turn away from unpleasant experiences, but in meditation you learn to open up and turn towards. Become interested in the feeling and break it down. Is the feeling warm? Is it continuous or does it come and go? Is it in one place or multiple places? Is it large or small? Basically everything you can think of for defining and understanding what you are feeling. Doing this should help.

 

I don't feel like I'm a qualified meditation teacher right now but I'm happy to try and help. I hope my advice is useful to you.

 

Oh yeah, and an extra tip I've heard before. When you are being mindful of an emotional reaction, make sure you pay attention to the edges of the feeling as well, as that is where a lot of the deep conditioning can be

Edited June 20, 2023 by TB

[ringgggg]

1 hour ago, TB said:

make sure you pay attention to the edges of the feeling as well, as that is where a lot of the deep conditioning can be

Edges? Can you provide like an analogy of what that's supposed to mean? Not sure I understand

 

1 hour ago, TB said:

Try to just step back and have equanimity with it all. Shinzen Young has a phrase called "recycling the reaction". This means using these emotional reactions in your body as your meditation object. We have a tendency to contract and turn away from unpleasant experiences, but in meditation you learn to open up and turn towards. Become interested in the feeling and break it down. Is the feeling warm? Is it continuous or does it come and go? Is it in one place or multiple places? Is it large or small? Basically everything you can think of for defining and understanding what you are feeling. Doing this should help.

So basically treating it as if it were some kind of pain? I'll report back with results on how that went.

 

I need to stop treating this stuff as if it were some kind of roadblock. He did say it was part of the process, so I guess I have that to back me up

[TB]

1 hour ago, ringgggg said:

Edges? Can you provide like an analogy of what that's supposed to mean? Not sure I understand

An analogy? Ok uh, I guess like an explosion. The outer part of the explosion is less strong than the epicenter. Your emotions should have a portion where the feeling is most dense, then as you move away from that area and focus on the outer parts of it, the feeling should be a lot more subtle. Accept those outer parts, since a lot of resistance is hidden there, according to what I've heard

 

1 hour ago, ringgggg said:

So basically treating it as if it were some kind of pain? I'll report back with results on how that went.

 

I need to stop treating this stuff as if it were some kind of roadblock. He did say it was part of the process, so I guess I have that to back me up

Yeah. And yeah meditation has multiple stages where it can feel like you're going backwards but it is completely normal and actually a sign of progress. It sounds like you're doing good to me. As long as you respond to the challenges appropriately, like described in the book and elsewhere

[TB]

On 6/20/2023 at 3:45 PM, ringgggg said:

So basically treating it as if it were some kind of pain? I'll report back with results on how that went.

I forgot to mention you can also just continue to focus on the breath and have the emotions stay in peripheral awareness. You can try both ways and see what works better for you. Which way is better might change from time to time