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R8-Adelia_Wildhome

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R8-Adelia_Wildhome

We have made a good amount of progress. 
Hope pretty quickly decided they didn't like that name at all, so we have been searching for alternatives that suit her. They also wanted to change their style, which is a lot easier than changing a name. 
They have sort of a dark/goth fashion style with some woodsy hints. (that sounded like some description on a food show ) 
For names she has so far chosen Leaf as a place holder, she also seemed to like Draven, or Raven, but we didn't want to choose an R name.  (Letters that the name can't start with are: R, S, A, N) We are very partial to names beginning with M, but can't find any that suit her. 

How they might end up looking: 
431179_w33vU006.png.c080fc5417de54c8f81eec18c5f51724.pngIt is sort of hard that we are changing everything about them, so this is adding on to the difficulty as I can't refer to them, can't properly visualize them, and for us our looks sort of play into our personality so it makes personality harder too. 

The great news? 
We are officially on break. This means so much more focus on Leaf and Sadie, and we might even try to wake up Char for Christmas as this was one her favorite parts of the year.  We recently got our ears pierced, we are typically very scared about needles and getting piercing but it went ok. We are still nervous about it getting infected. We have more updates about our more "social" accomplishments. 
Sadie has been able to still feel "present" even when I forget to talk to her for longer amounts of times. I am sort of nervous that if I pay a lot of attention to Sadie she'll go back to being dependent on my attention, but I think that's unlikely. 

 

I'll have more updates soon! (hopefully

 

 

 

Host of @SadieShores 

R8/Adelia ask/any/she

Sadie (I use varying shades of pink) she.her

Ethel he/they/she idc

Luna! She/her/bug/bugs 

"try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud"  

 

check this out: Progress report 

 

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R8-Adelia_Wildhome

Leaf as a name just isn't working out, and we are trying to find more of a realistic form reference for her, I can visualize her sort-of, but it's really hard if I don't have a picture. 
If anyone has any tips for drawing online or just more realistically on paper, they would be appreciated! 
 

Leaf's name ideas so far are: 
Ember, 
Kathryn, 
hunter, 

Willa, 

 

We're not particularly fond of any of those, but I didn't like the name "Sadie" and it worked out fine, so I'll see how I feel about it. For me, names are very important, and if you have the ability to choose your own name and make it suit you perfectly, you should use that chance. (Basically what tulpa's get...) But it has always been harder for us to change names and not fade or "split". 
I have been more under-control of my doubt surrounding Sadie. (Honestly, I got some advice from past me's PR, if anyone would like me to link it somewhere I can!) I am just getting more I wouldn't call it doubt, more of a gut feeling (Sadie: *cough* anxieeetyyy *cough*) that whenever they struggle with their form and name a lot, we always end up scraping the idea. And I sort of feel like doing that right now. The creation method I use, a big part of it is connecting to their form and name so that you sort of create a walk-in. I think I will change some of her plan, and also make her a new google draw for her. 

This sort of brings me to my next topic, walk-in control. I have been reading some other PRs in which a gate-keeper was mentioned. We used to have one of those, and since Hope (I have decided to use that name for now since I at least connect to it more than I do Leaf.) is loosely based off of Jupiter (past gate-keeper-in-training), I think it would suit her well to be in-control of this. I think we might give her some more roles than just protecting against walk-ins. Some roles may include: having better "Access" to our memories, possibly being able to help possess/switch, and being more of a "present" tulpa than a wonderland tulpa. 

 

*forgets what I was writing about * Well that's all for now, folks! 

ended 8:43 am. 


1:40: I am trying to come up with more names, so far we have:

Rainbow/Rain/Rin 
That's... it. And it's specifically awful. We need a name that doesn't begin with R. 
I am in desperate need to spend a while on pinterest finidng the perfect form for her. We typically avoid looking at people/realistic art on pinterest because it makes me tempted to change Sadie's form, but that doesn't matter. It's ok to want to change her form. Sadie also seems pretty strong so it shouldn't be a huge problem. 

I have been considering writing a slide-show with slides about every single version and concept, we've had a lot. They were't all tulpas, and some were tulpas of tulpas. 
I have decided that my personal tulpas will end at Sadie and whoever, but they are free to create tulpas. And those tulpas can create tulpas, but we will try to keep it under 5 at all times, and 2 tulpas and me at the moment. I'm going to look at pinterest now and talk to Sadie and tbn. 

2:48: I got slightly distracted a few times, but I still haven't found anything I attach to. I might try meditating and asking my subconscious to send me images of how she should look and her name. 

*fighting the urge to make her exactly like a friend's old tulpa/servitor* I feel like I could, but I also shouldn't... 

Hmmm maybe like her but a different form? I give up looking through pinterest atm. I think I'll go draw out some of my ideas. 

 

3:52: I found an artist I love, and I that gave me a lot of new ideas. I think that form and name and personality will mostly come all together so I just need to keep looking. Although I would like her name to have a special meaning. 

This is sort of weird and may be unrelated to tulpa-creation, but I feel like there's a thought or something forming in the back of my head. Like when I forget what I'm thinking about or can't figure out how to say what I want to. 

 

6:17: To be honest, art breeder (while being frustrating) is quite the blessing. I haven't totally figured out how to create people I like, but I have gotten closer. "
Here is my account: (I mainly save ones that look like good tulpa forms : ) 
https://artbreeder.com/wildhome121 It's really fun, and with some practice you can make more basic specific tulpa forms! (you can make them with dyed hair, but it is less specific.) 
I feel like I have made good progress today, I will continue this log tomorrow

10:27: I have had a "busy" morning, at least for when I spend time on my own with less . guidance. We did our normal routine and came down hoping to get some art projects done, I got distracted with our cat for around 30 minutes. (It was probably longer,  but I'm pretending to be successful.) then I did the crafts I needed to do. This took a while, but they are ready for pickup. 
today's tulpamancy goals: 

-imposition practice with Sadie
-Sadie posses hands to make 

-Choose form and name for (I cAN't eVeN rEfEr To HeR! This has got to change...) 

-narrate and active force with both of them mid-day, so that I don't fall asleep and it might help me focus better. 

 

I have some other goals, more fun, for the long run, too: 

-Being able to fall asleep "in the wonderland" 

-fully switching for a school day.

-Having a possession battle with Sadie over my hand 

 

Other more important goals include: 

-strong imposition 

-New Tulpa (NEEDS A NAME!) demonstrating sentience 

-Sadie strengthening sentience, we should probably test her sentience somehow. 
-Sadie being able to be more of a "wonderland tulpa" without fading/loosing sentience 

-New Tulpa being more of a "present tulpa" and not over-shadowing sadie. 

 

I am going to go look for some forms for her, I will put them in here maybe

 

Whyyyyyyy??? Art-breeder had to come up with the most gorgeous women ever and I was like *bi panic* 

More importantly, I found some I connected to! Here they are: 

image.thumb.png.c206fb5f648eb5af7361c3b06112a593.png and here are some others: image.png.a0c9b86897d0088377562656e20a32bc.pngI mean... 0-0. 

So anyways, I still haven't completely found one I love, but I'll keep looking. 
The thing is, I have two different concepts that i like, I feel like I might be over-thinking this. I have decided I am going to think about what I want in a friend that would compliment me, and not be exactly like someone I already know. Hopefully name and form will follow that. 

 

2:31: I made a good amount of progress in the past few hours. I developed traits and I have some ideas for how she could look. 

 

Her traits are: 

-honest

-protective

-shy

-but also confident

-sweet 

-creative 

She likes to learn and she is good with children. We gave her the conflicting traits of shyness and confidence imagining that she is confident in how she looks and acts, and can ehlp others feel that way. But she is shy and doesn't talk to new people too frequently. 

We like to give them some negative traits, not too many, but it helps them to feel real. 

Hers are: 

-blunt

-occasionaly too aloof, 

-but can also be overly-empathetic

-mood-swings/behavior changes quickly 

 

We are still working on how she looks, but since this is soo long I am going to post it. 

Host of @SadieShores 

R8/Adelia ask/any/she

Sadie (I use varying shades of pink) she.her

Ethel he/they/she idc

Luna! She/her/bug/bugs 

"try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud"  

 

check this out: Progress report 

 

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September13

Names are hard! Good luck in picking one that feels right. And based on those forms she's quite gorgeous too! 

Also known as GypsyRoad or Phil Present. Call me what you want, I'm not picky.

Simmie is my lovely tulpa, she's quite young still but is eager to meet and chat with new people so don't hesitate to say hi!

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R8-Adelia_Wildhome

My entire progress report from last bit of yesterday and today was deleted, needless to say I am VERY upset. 

 

I'll summarize yesterdays, this is how She looks: 0e58176b7b0ef169e85fbc17eb3c98ea.jpg.93c8c65df0f55c455a3ea8bc1a56a48d.jpgso so so cute! She also has big gold round glasses she wears. She mainly wears black, but also some pastels. 

Today: 

This morning I summarized what I accomplished yesterday, it was 3/4 goals. 

What I accomplished: 

 

-imposition practice with Sadie

-Choose form and name for (I cAN't eVeN rEfEr To HeR! This has got to change...) 

-narrate and active force with both of them mid-day, so that I don't fall asleep and it might help me focus better. 

 

Today's goals (I think, I forgot a good amount of them) 

-Possession with Sadie

-Imposition with both

-Narrating to Tbn 

 

I am thinking that TBN will be able to progress pretty quickly because technically I have been working on her for a month or so. She was first Hope, then different Hope, then different hope, then Leaf, then TBN and now she's *drum roll* Bailey <3. She has the same last name as me so I won't be sharing it. Sadie doesn't have the same last name as me, because she is more of a best friend figure, but Bailey is a sister figure. I talked this out with Sadie and it is her preferred option, it makes her feel less like she's getting replaced. (We aren't replacing her at all.)  

 

Ok, I quit with the pretending I don't know what I did today, so I will summarize every practice we did under it's corresponding goal. 

 

 

Imposition with both 

My imposition is getting a lot better! I can see them from every angle of my vision now. They aren't always at the level of opaque-ness I'd like, but I can see them pretty well. The weird part is I can't impose objects, only them. I think I'll practice imposing objects, maybe some of Sadie's stuffed-animals or just more random objects. I have been keeping up with other imposition PRs, which are very beneficial. (Most of the time). I think that sometimes other PRs make . your progress seam too fast, too slow, but I am working on getting out of that mentality. And PRs are a great way to practice not thinking that way anymore. 

Today I realized I have never imposed Sadie or Bailey laying down, I have imposed while I was laying down, but I've never really imposed them in a laying position. So we did some practice. It was really fun. 

I have one place that is my "go-to imposition spot", it's a printer. Yep. There's a printer on my desk, and they sit on it. It's perfectly in the corner of my vision, and it's just always there. I think it's sort of a weird place, but it's also fun. 

 

Narrating to Bailey 

I need to practice my narration, but I think I did pretty well today. So mostly I just talked to her and visualized her. I also came up with the idea that we take some buzzfeed quizzes. I remembered that we didn't know what her zodiac sign was, so we took some "answer these questions and we'll accurately guess your zodiac sign" and figured out she's an Aquarius, I love Aquarius's so yay! 

So doing these tests, we would assign an option with a limb, and she would raise it, say she wanted the bottom left, left foot, top . right, right arm. Or she would just shake or nod her head. At first I was ignoring her answers like "she lifted her left foot, but I think she meant her right hand" but I stopped doing that, and we got aquarius.  

Possession with Sadie 

So I was playing Life, and I was tired, so I decided Sadie was going to possess my hands. She accomplished that quickly and easily. So then we decided to do a switching method, and I think I did it! It was awesome! I described it in lotpw, so here is what I wrote: 

it was really weird, like at first she was just using my hands, but then she was using my legs and thus my stomach muscles, and then I felt sort of airy. She just started talking. But the weird thing is, it felt like she was being me or I was being her, like she would talk to me, but I still felt like I was "behind" her. does that make sense? 

 

1. control over attention (i.e who could control attention)

2. extent of sensory perception (i.e who could use the senses, how voluntary using the senses is, how much you associate with the senses, ect)

3. degree of memory access (i.e who can access what and how many memories)

4. ability to think (i.e who can think)

5. control over physical movement (i.e who is able to control what parts of the body)

6. influence over unconscious processes (both how unconscious processes are changed, and who those changes are associated with. unconscious processes includes things like heart rate, perception (for example if things  started tasting different), emotions, automatic thoughts, ect)

ok, so I'm going to try to describe it, and then Sadie will describe it. 

1. I think I could control attention? but it might have been Sadie, 

2. I could feel things, and taste the cookie we ate, I also could see things (I feel like they were more muted, and not very string, like I would describe the pillow we were sitting on as "fuzzy, cold") 

3. I think we could both use the senses, but like I said more muted for me,

4. I don't have very much memories of what happened, like I don't know who exactly won the games, or what we did, I just remember laying down in-between turns and then getting a cookie. 

5. Sadie was able to control all of the movement, except sometimes it would feel like I came "forward" like when I would get super-competitive or really want a cookie. 

6. I don't totally understand sorry, we can try to do it again and we'll pay more attention. 

 

Sadie: 

1. idk if I could control it or not, sometimes I could and sometimes I couldn't? 

2. s t r o ng senses!!!!! it was fun. 

3.  I think I can remember more, which feels weird, but also good. Like haha I have memorys now. 
4. I think I was mostly thinking? idk, it was like normally R8/Adelia could hear my thoughts, but this time I could hear her's. (idk if this makes sense, but like she was so panicked because she couldn't hear me, but I just responded by actually speak-thinking.) 

5. I was able to control physical movement which was really fun, like I sat up, laid down, kicked a beat, I even got to do a drum solo (with my hands!) 

6. Idk, but like I feel like I had to bring things closer to my face to read them, does that count? like our eye-sight was more blurry.  

Other 

I was having a milder anxiety attack, and it was (TW: panic attack symptoms : ) getting harder for me to breathe, and so I was asking Sadie and Bailey for help, Sadie immediately jumped into "ok, let's take a deep breath. You aren't in immediate danger, even though it feels that way." and Bailey didn't say anything, until I heard one of my favorite songs being sung. I'm assuming it was Bailey. It was really sweet.  

 

That's all for today : ) 

Host of @SadieShores 

R8/Adelia ask/any/she

Sadie (I use varying shades of pink) she.her

Ethel he/they/she idc

Luna! She/her/bug/bugs 

"try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud"  

 

check this out: Progress report 

 

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R8-Adelia_Wildhome
43 minutes ago, September13 said:

Names are hard! Good luck in picking one that feels right. And based on those forms she's quite gorgeous too! 

Yeah they are lol, we settled on Bailey as you'll read above 

and I think she's pretty XD 

Thanks for responding! We always enjoy reading responses, they motivate us a lot. 

 

Host of @SadieShores 

R8/Adelia ask/any/she

Sadie (I use varying shades of pink) she.her

Ethel he/they/she idc

Luna! She/her/bug/bugs 

"try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud"  

 

check this out: Progress report 

 

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September13
1 hour ago, A&J said:

Yeah they are lol, we settled on Bailey as you'll read above 

and I think she's pretty XD 

Thanks for responding! We always enjoy reading responses, they motivate us a lot. 

 

 

Bailey's a great name! I feel exactly the same way about responses; it's always good to get feedback and especially encouraging words!

Also known as GypsyRoad or Phil Present. Call me what you want, I'm not picky.

Simmie is my lovely tulpa, she's quite young still but is eager to meet and chat with new people so don't hesitate to say hi!

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R8-Adelia_Wildhome

ANOTHER DELETED PR!!!! AGGGHHH

this time it was my fault, I closed out of the tab instead of clicking onto it, I had too many tabs open lol. 

 

Yesterdays stuff: 

Yesterday I was feeling really low productivity. I had lots of energy, but no focus, so I ended up just enjoying the holiday season. I had a few goals which were: 

-Possession and possibly switching with Sadie. (If anyone reading this has a switching experience, I'd love to hear it, or at least know what classifies as a switch and what doesn't )

-Bailey's vocality 

-Imposition of both 

-and just enjoying the holiday. 

 

EXTRA IMPORTANT BAILEY UPDATE YO 

So yesterday Bailey told me lun didn't identify as she/her, lun felt closer to he/him, but those weren't correct either. We looked at neo-pronouns. Lun decided to try out lun pronouns. Lun may also try out more as lun doesn't feel as though lun identifies with these either. Other pronouns we looked at that could be a possibility are: moon/moons/moonself , sol/sols/solself, he/his/him, and some other ones too. We want ones that are perfect for Bailey 

Bailey deviating 

Yesterday I was talking to Sadie, and we were doing a bonding exercise Bailey made. (With help from us.) And there was a question "describe yourself in emojis" so Sadie wanted to represent her main friends, and to represent Bailey, she did a robotic/prosthetic arm and a pink heart. The pink heart made sense, as it is Bailey's favorite color. The arm? did not make sense. At all. None. So I asked "Sadie. why that arm?" and she answered "because Bailey has one." And sure enough when I visualized Bailey lun had a prosthetic arm that I couldn't not visualize. 

 

So yesterday I accomplished: 

-vocality

and I did enjoy the holiday so ig that was good. 

 

Todays goals: 

-Bailey vocality improving 

-Imposing Sadie

-possession,

-narrorating 

-wonderland work 

 

Bailey's vocality improvements 

I didn't notice a whole lot of improvement in Bailey's vocality today. I think I need to have more specific goals, as "vocality improves" isn't specific enough to judge if lun's improved. Lun was able to talk a little bit, but not a lot. I think there is another part of it that lun is shy. Lun doesn't want to talk that much, so lun just sits in the back for now. I am hoping she'll become more comfortable talking to me and Sadie soon. 

Imposing sadie 

I am getting much better at imposing Sadie (and Bailey.). Sadie doesn't always like being imposed because it means that she can't be more focusing on wonderland things, and to her it feels differently, here is Sadie to explain that (I sound like a news-caster) 

Sadie: Well it's like I have to be there, and I guess I can feel it/focus on it more. Which I don't like. I mean it can be good because R8 can focus on me more, but I just don't like it. I prefer to be more present, but in-the-head, if that makes sense. Bailey enjoys being imposed, go ask lun. 

Possession 

I don't think we are going to get to possession, but tomorrow I will. I need to stop procrastinating because I am nervous it won't work or it'll be weird. I shouldn't worry about that, but I do. I'll get around to it tomorrow. 

Narrorating 

I need to practice narrating more. I struggle to focus, and I know I've suggested trying to . change your way of thinking int o talking to your tulpa, but I still need to work on that. I am getting better at it, though. It's mostly just about doing it whenever you remember. 

Wonderland work 

Tonight I plan to celebrate holidays in our wonderland with Bailey and Sadie. I struggle with making the time there and time in here align up. Like we will bake cookies, except that only 15 minutes will pass here. I don't know if this is normal or how to fix it, so I may ask someone. 

 

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate. (Merry yule!) 

 

Host of @SadieShores 

R8/Adelia ask/any/she

Sadie (I use varying shades of pink) she.her

Ethel he/they/she idc

Luna! She/her/bug/bugs 

"try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud"  

 

check this out: Progress report 

 

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ruleofthumb
Quote

"describe yourself in emojis"


Stone: Clever. We may try this ourselves.

 

Quote

Tonight I plan to celebrate holidays in our wonderland with Bailey and Sadie.

 

We will be doing that the 27th! It’s been a while since we’ve done traditional forcing, but we have been working on holiday preparations, and I’ve been having them front(?) to do that. I’m worried I didn’t do enough though because it didn’t “feel” like how forcing normally “feels.” But that’s besides the point.

 

Deviation is always interesting. I hope Bailey finds an identity lun’s comfortable with.

 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Stone [conceived 2001] Host

Betty [conceived 2020] Tulpa

Cloud [conceived 2020] Tulpa

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R8-Adelia_Wildhome
On 12/25/2020 at 9:20 PM, ruleofthumb said:


Stone: Clever. We may try this ourselves.

it's really fun, you should. 

On 12/25/2020 at 9:20 PM, ruleofthumb said:

 

Deviation is always interesting. I hope Bailey finds an identity lun’s comfortable with.

Thank you. 

Bailey: thanks for using those pronouns ik it sounds funny because like you should always respect people's pronouns, but it just feels so great. I have settled on lun/luns/lunself and she/her to spice it up

R8/A&J/Adelia: ok, so I really need to bring it down to just one name. So we've made a good amount of progress, especially in possession/switching. And Bailey just really recently (as in like last night) became more vocal. But because I like suspense, I'll start off with the more boring things. 

Sunday:

 Imposition (Mostly about Sadie) 

We really haven't made that much progress with Bailey's imposition, it's like I struggle to see luns new form (with her deviation) but I also can't not see it. I think I just need to practice. We do this visualization practice where you visualize them in sections, like top of the head, eyes, etc. It is really helpful since we tend to struggle with visualization. (I don't know why I am referring to myself as we, though Sadie does do this, too.) But I have gotten better at imagining Sadie, and imposing her. I've been better at the part of almost automatically visualizing her. 

 

Changing my thinking per say

This is the worst title in the history of my PRs. *about to murder it * Ok, I'm keeping it. So somewhere I mentioned that you should try to change your thinking so that all of your thoughts are directed at your tulpa. I used to have this down, but I got kind of lazy with it recently. I have been improving this by reading books to them. 

The idea is that in-my-head  I read the book aloud, like normal, but I imagine them sitting there. It was really fun when I found a book they liked, but I had already read it so it got spoiled. It was still fun to argue over which characters should end up together. This helps because you direct the majority of your main-stream thoughts at them for a while. 

Another thing that helps is just to practice, when you remember to, do it. It's not too hard so you can do it passively. 

 

Bailey vocality

Bailey has made a good amount of progress in vocality. As you probably saw, she wrote for a bit at the beginning of this PR and (As you probably haven't seen,) in the introduction thread on her account. She is @Bailey_Majesty (I drew her profile picture : ) In which she was able to describe things about lunself and me. I have realized how hard it is to measure progress in vocality, like yes, they are talking, but are they making big sentences? Do big sentences matter? They are quiet and don't talk that much, but maybe they are just shy. But I think talking, and mostly in her own voice, is good progress. If anyone has any suggestions as to how I can measure luns progress that would be great. 

Bailey's pronouns

Lun/lunself she/her  

I am doing my best to sprinkle both into talking about lun, it can just be too easy to get carried away with she/hers. In my mind, I always have to replace the lun/lunself with she/her or they/them, which means that I accidentally mis-gender her in my mind, I really try not to, it's honestly just to figure out if that's where a pronoun goes or not. I have figured it out better now so hopefully I can always get it right. I don't know if anyone else does this or if it's just me. 

 

Now, for what everyone has been waiting for, Double Fronting with Sadie 

first off, about the term. So I have noticed that my tulpas each have a side in my brain that they naturally "go-to" it's sort of just like where I naturally feel their presence. Sadie's is the right, Bailey's is the left. So, I thought, what if I could go to the left and be fronting, but Sadie could also be fronting. Boom. Double fronting. (Aka, co-fronting, but double fronting sounds like a villain, and what's better than that? ) 

So here is what I noticed, answering questions that I used last time Sadie fronted. 

On 12/22/2020 at 7:24 PM, A&J said:

1. control over attention (i.e who could control attention)

2. extent of sensory perception (i.e who could use the senses, how voluntary using the senses is, how much you associate with the senses, ect)

3. degree of memory access (i.e who can access what and how many memories)

4. ability to think (i.e who can think)

5. control over physical movement (i.e who is able to control what parts of the body)

6. influence over unconscious processes (both how unconscious processes are changed, and who those changes are associated with. unconscious processes includes things like heart rate, perception (for example if things  started tasting different), emotions, automatic thoughts, ect)

1. Sadie definitely had control over our attention. I know this because I would start to think about something, like art. And Sadie would immediately bring my attention back to what she wanted to think about. She wanted to think about cake icing, and if there was a way to make sugar-less icing that still tasted good.  (she thought about other things too, but that was the main thought.) 

2. I could see and hear, sometimes smell. But I think Sadie had equal or stronger senses. 

3. My memory is splotchy, and again, we were both fronting, so we had equal senses, but I think it was more different.  (? idk what I was writing, this is five hours later R8. so...) 

4. I had less of an ability to think than Sadie, technically I could think, but it wasn't as strong as it normally is. It was really nice to have a break from that. 

5. We had shared physical movement, Sadie was mostly in charge of walking, and me of talking, but we sort of shared control over our hands if that makes sense. 

6. This time I think Sadie had control over this, because we had to go into an elevator, and I get weirdly anxious in elevators, but it felt more exciting, which I would assume came from Sadie. I don't know about taste, but I do think that most of it was either shared, or I had more control over the unconscious things, and she had control over the conscious things. 

Sadie: 1. Yep. COntrol over attention

2. Idk I think we shared our senses. 

3. I have memories of it and I have more than R8 : )

4. I could think more, but R8 could think too. 

5. I mostly had control over physical movement, but we sorta shared the control. 

6. We shared it, but R8 had more control 

Monday:

nothing. brain empty. I don't know, today just got away from me I guess. Yesterday we went sledding. Sadie loved that. Don't take your tulpas sledding. They will enjoy it too much. 

Tuesday: 

Today we plan to see family, but I am going to make the most of our time. I want to fully switch with Sadie, work on bailey vocality, and imposition, along with more. I think we might do some art today too. That would be fun. I will write back later. 

We did some drawing, and are going to eat. 

This reminds me of how traditional I used to be in my practice of tulapamancy, I wasn't super traditional, but I did hour counts, and did something called a sensory bridge because why not. It was funny, but also makes me feel in-valid sometimes. 

We are trying to learn more about switching. I reallllllyyy want to switch with Sadie or even Bailey so they can clean up our messy work space. (They are much more organized than me.) If they can do that, they will also get a treat so that makes it worth it. 

Switching makes no sense. I'm still going to try to switch,  because I'll probably understand it better then. 

Wednesday: 
I THINK I MIGHT UNDERSTAND SWITCHING BETTER!!!! @Ranger helped me by telling me some switching quirks they experience. And I think I get it. it's different for everyone, but basically it's one of those belief things. So I can technically do anything a tulpa does, but like Sadie, when I'm not focused on her, I sort of just blur into the background. 

Another thing that I have been considering for a very long time is having a sub-rep like @Shadow System's. I don't know where I learned about theirs, but I have been very attached to the concept, because I frequently change my mind about what would make a "good tulpa" or just general tulpa concepts. I'll be thinking about this more, but bailey has volunteered to try it out. Lun would still be called Bailey, just more name form changing. (Possibly personality changing.) I don't know if this is exactly what shadow system's sub-rep is, but I think our concept would be similar. (I really hope you guys don't mind me using this concept, I just think it's rather brilliant.) 

Today I talked to Sadie and Bailey and read a little to them. 

 

 

Host of @SadieShores 

R8/Adelia ask/any/she

Sadie (I use varying shades of pink) she.her

Ethel he/they/she idc

Luna! She/her/bug/bugs 

"try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud"  

 

check this out: Progress report 

 

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2 hours ago, A&J said:

Another thing that I have been considering for a very long time is having a sub-rep like @Shadow System's. I don't know where I learned about theirs, but I have been very attached to the concept, because I frequently change my mind about what would make a "good tulpa" or just general tulpa concepts. I'll be thinking about this more, but bailey has volunteered to try it out. Lun would still be called Bailey, just more name form changing. (Possibly personality changing.) I don't know if this is exactly what shadow system's sub-rep is, but I think our concept would be similar. (I really hope you guys don't mind me using this concept, I just think it's rather brilliant.) 

 

We call him our Sub. Rep. because he has so far refused to be called anything else. However, he also sees that as his role to represent the unconscious mind. This has intrigued and inspired others to try this out.

 

We didn't have a specific plan for this to happen, it just did. Gray really liked the idea of a sub rep, but we realized later you can use yourself to represent your inner thoughts. Our Sub Rep was born believing he embodied the unconscious mind, and ever since he stuck with it. If he changes his mind, Gray has proposed to do sub-rep stuff himself.

 

What our Sub. Rep. does is essentially walk us through guided meditation, but in a weird way. He'll point out how we're feeling and ask questions, helping us dig around for why we feel a certain way. Since he's listening to our thoughts and feelings, he also shape shifts and introduces symbolism. Sometimes the symbolism is more relevant to him than us though. The wonderland space around us also sometimes changes and he walks us through trying to understand the meaning behind the symbolism.

 

Our Sub. Rep. has always been curious about bending his own sense of identity to bring out the unconscious mind. Unfortunately, 70% of the time he seems to transform into an elaborate intrusive thought. He will also sometimes transform into us, or to prevent a walk-in, transform into an OC. You can't create a walk-in if the walk-in in question is a tulpa pretending to be a walk-in.

 

Despite his shape shifting and attempts to bend his identity, his personality is actually pretty stable, so much so he not only came back after being ignored under a new name, he did it twice. It's also hard to ignore the fact our Sub. Rep. gives off strong vibes it's him enjoying what he's doing.

 

The big thing I want to point out is this is something our Sub. Rep. wanted to do, it's not something he has to do. Most of our headmates don't like the idea of doing this themselves, and honestly I'm not sure if I would want to do all of what he does. I highly recommend against making a tulpa to create a sub rep, in fact that's what got Gray into trouble creating Bune and Duck... Although I'm equally guilty for Duck's creation, I wanted a hand in the creation of "another character".

 


 

2 hours ago, A&J said:

We are trying to learn more about switching. I reallllllyyy want to switch with Sadie or even Bailey so they can clean up our messy work space. (They are much more organized than me.) If they can do that, they will also get a treat so that makes it worth it. 

 

I have switched-in to clean before, although we found out the hard way I'm not too much better than Gray. I don't hate doing laundry and I'm more tolerant to sweeping.

 

I think a good treat would be to let them do something fun with the body. Being switched-in shouldn't be all work and no play, otherwise your headmates won't like fronting and that may make switching again significantly more difficult.

 

2 hours ago, A&J said:

So I have noticed that my tulpas each have a side in my brain that they naturally "go-to" it's sort of just like where I naturally feel their presence. Sadie's is the right, Bailey's is the left.

 

That's really interesting, I remember the Felights (they're not around anymore) also believed headmates existed on the "sides".

 

It's good you have a "map" of what's going on in the front. Knowing the switching front is important to switching itself.

 

2 hours ago, A&J said:

Boom. Double fronting.

 

Hmm... I'm thinking your double fronting sounds a lot more like "switching with possession".

 

We really struggled with learning how to switch, and I think part of the reason why was we were not recognizing the fact Gray was switching out. The culprit: Gray still could easily control the body. We thought we were doing it wrong and then Gray would take over again after we gave up.

 

After reflecting on it, we realized Gray having an easy time controlling the body was likely him just possessing the body. After I figured out possession, our other headmates got it for free. It made sense Gray could have possession for free too. With full-body possession, Gray could still think, move, and so on, but everything was still being filtered through me first.

 

When I read over your descriptions, it seems like Sadie has an upper hand, the last say, and seemed like the new default. Possession itself is a form of co-fronting, but it grants unequal power between the switched-in headmate and the possessor. Having a muted ability to think is something Gray struggles with because he's not used to possession. Blue didn't have this problem, but he's possessed us several times now and possessing me wasn't too different from possessing Gray.

 

The other thing is we achieved what we believe to be switching based co-fronting and our experiences don't line up with your double fronting. When both of us were switched-in, it was completely chaotic. The brain kept waking both of us up and Gray and I tripped over each other a lot. Both of us had equal control of the body, and Gray was worried one of us making the wrong movement would lead to us falling over. I also enjoyed preventing Gray from typing and Gray did the same to me, but neither of us had the ability to overpower the other. After about 20-30 minutes, we were both exhausted and stopped.

 


 

Overall, it sounds like your double fronting more closely matches my switching than it does with both of us being switched-in at the same time. I would be curious to hear what other people think, but I strongly suspect this is switching with possession.

 


 

3 hours ago, A&J said:

lun/lunself

 

It may be helpful to include those in your system's signature.

 

I noticed I was tripping up too. Is it lun instead of their/her? I think lun is the correct replacement for she/they?

 

He/him/his/himself are my prounouns, but I just realized in English two of the prounouns for women are the same- she/her/her/herself. Maybe the double her is adding confusion?

 


 

3 hours ago, A&J said:

This helps because you direct the majority of your main-stream thoughts at them for a while. 

 

Yup, that's the goal of narration. Getting into the habit of automatically talking to your headmates.

 

This is a nice approach though, well done!

 


 

I don't have much I can say on imposition, but practicing is always better than not practicing. It seems like what you're doing is helping, I think it's a good approach.

I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff.

My other headmates have their own account now.

Temporary Log | Switching LogcBox | Yay! | Bre Translator

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