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R8-Adelia_Wildhome

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R8-Adelia_Wildhome

I lost another PR... Oh well, I guess I'll just have to re-make it in between classes. 

On 12/31/2020 at 12:45 PM, Ranger said:

The big thing I want to point out is this is something our Sub. Rep. wanted to do, it's not something he has to do. Most of our headmates don't like the idea of doing this themselves, and honestly I'm not sure if I would want to do all of what he does. I highly recommend against making a tulpa to create a sub rep, in fact that's what got Gray into trouble creating Bune and Duck... Although I'm equally guilty for Duck's creation, I wanted a hand in the creation of "another character".

 

Yeah we didn't totally understand the concept, and anyways, as you'll see later in the PR, we finally had something click for Bailey.  

This was just an inaccurate comparison as to what Bailey was doing, lun was just changing forms until the perfect form and personality clicked. Sorry for the confusion and inaccurate wording! 

On 12/31/2020 at 12:45 PM, Ranger said:

think a good treat would be to let them do something fun with the body. Being switched-in shouldn't be all work and no play, otherwise your headmates won't like fronting and that may make switching again significantly more difficult.

That's a good point. We have tried to switch two or more times since writing that, the majority of the times were to let Sadie have some food, bake, or go sledding. But I did want her to be able to front in situations she could handle better like an argument where she could see the good in the person whereas I would only do things I would majorly regret.  

 

On 12/31/2020 at 12:45 PM, Ranger said:

That's really interesting, I remember the Felights (they're not around anymore) also believed headmates existed on the "sides".

 

It's good you have a "map" of what's going on in the front. Knowing the switching front is important to switching itself.

That's good to know! 

I have figured out that Sadie is positioned to the right of me, but close to me, and back-er, Ethel/Bailey is left, farther from me, but closer to the front. Sometimes their placements move slightly, which I attribute to them being closer to fronting or just being present. 

On 12/31/2020 at 12:45 PM, Ranger said:

 

When I read over your descriptions, it seems like Sadie has an upper hand, the last say, and seemed like the new default. Possession itself is a form of co-fronting, but it grants unequal power between the switched-in headmate and the possessor. Having a muted ability to think is something Gray struggles with because he's not used to possession. Blue didn't have this problem, but he's possessed us several times now and possessing me wasn't too different from possessing Gray.

That's really interesting. I think that makes sense, because like my mind feels muted, and all of my reactions feel different. 

 

On 12/31/2020 at 12:45 PM, Ranger said:

 

Overall, it sounds like your double fronting more closely matches my switching than it does with both of us being switched-in at the same time. I would be curious to hear what other people think, but I strongly suspect this is switching with possession.

Switching with possession, hooray! It feels good to say "We've switched"  

Now to figure out how not to possess...

On 12/31/2020 at 12:45 PM, Ranger said:

It may be helpful to include those in your system's signature.

good idea. We put them in, but since Bailey FINALLY settled on a form, and personality, and name, they changed. (Well sort of more on that below) 

 

Bailey finally found themself. 

it was just another day, chilling out while thinking about book and tv show characters who I wish I knew... Then a concept just sort of "popped" into my head. This is the way a lot of my tulpas were created. The concept clicked. I began to just imagine how this character would treat me. They'd probably make fun of the food crumbs on my lap, but enjoy the crossiant I had just eaten, and help me clean up. 

Thus clicked I character who looked mostly like this25030_kf99LEoS.png.951f0b958cc30c46691ad13429dd6d6a.pngNow that I think about it more, I had been imagining a character like this for a few days. They would help me, but also tease me. Next I needed to choose a name, their name is Ethel. 

Ethel is vocal, but not that strong.

They are genderfluid, a scorpio, and have some elements of Bailey. They are tidy, and mostly age-less. They have a prosthetic/robotic arm. 

Ethel: Hello. I 'm Ethel. I don't always frown, just most of the time. I hope to learn more, and maybe be able to front. Well I really want to front. I'm typically pretty grumpy, but I do get pretty excited about switching. I also like Jazmin Bean. Their music is great. 

 

Switching update 

Sadie and I tried to switch again. (We tried twice.) One time it just didn't work at all. Like we couldn't focus or get into the mindset at all. I was trying to switch while doing something, so it made sense. The other time, we meditated, imagined Sadie exactly where I was, and then had her "connect" to the sense, basically like how you calm down while having an anxiety attack. At first we were pretty certain it worked, there is one part I don't remember, like I remember it, but I don't? But then I remember looking in a mirror and being like "I'm just roleplaying..." And so now I don't even know if we switched or I Was just roleplaying.

Host of @SadieShores 

R8/Adelia ask/any/she

Sadie (I use varying shades of pink) she.her

Ethel he/they/she idc

Luna! She/her/bug/bugs 

"try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud"  

 

check this out: Progress report 

 

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R8-Adelia_Wildhome

Wow I wrote that I really long time ago, not a whole lot has happened, except that well, also a lot has happened. 

 

Ethel Update

Ethel is vocal, and I think, sentient!!! She is making really fast progress. Ethel is different from Sadie, she is has dreams, experiences things differently, and has whole memories from a past life (they aren't exaclty whole, and she has to figure out what half of them are, but she has a good amount of general childhood memories, and some upsetting ones she's rather I not share.) 

Ethel is genderfluid, and any pronouns will work for them. 

Their form changes subtly (I think, more on that in a second) depending on their gender. Or, it could be that since we share a brain, I automatically pick up on their gender and then just see those traits in them more. Because it's not like when they are male, or use he/him/they pronouns they have shorter hair, they just are more masculine. I don't know how to better explain it. 

To describe their personality in three words, I'd say: kind, mysterious, calm 

Ethel: Hello, I hope this isn't too bothersome of a color, I just thought it suited me well. I can't possess, at least atm, so I am being proxied for. I like drumming and playing guitar, and also writing. Right now I'm writing a book/guide called "Simple System Solouitons" it's for both endogenic and traumagenic systems, though it has a stronger emphasis on endogenic because communication is a big part of it. I really love writing i t, and we have someone testing out our advicie, so we can see how well it works. Of course, it's important to not just test it on ourselves and one other system, so if anyone wants something from it, PM me? 

So yeah! Ethel is like our system manager, she helps with switches, and making sure we don't . get too many walk-ins. More on walk-ins in a second. She has a control room that I view as the framework of our system in a way. Like a lever . that initiates a switch, buttons that can help with... idk. And different levers to control if we can get walk-ins. 

 

General system Update

We have made lots of posts about being a gateway system, and we have decided not to label ourselves. But to also stop blocking the walk-ins. It feels really unnatural for me to not frequently gain and loose members, and I think this will help. 

My belief (that won't be changing) is that they come from anywhere, likely a . thought my brain attaches to, but they can go to the astral planes, and thus not be in my mind anymore. I have had experience with this, and I will not be taking criticism on it. 

So we have let our "guard" down, but have a limit of five. Currently we are a system of three, me, Ethel, and Sadie, that leaves room for two more. We will have a document linked in our signature that says who is here, ex-headmates, and if we have any in stasis/sleep/hibernation. 

 

Switching update 

Sadie is able to switch with me more easily now, we don't practice a whole lot because it makes us feel blended. I am able to push Sadie to the front if I really want to. I was in a stressful situation a few days ago, but since I was out of the situation and still upset, I pushed Sadie to the front, which helped a lot. She doesn't love fronting or possession, but I try to reward her every time. 

Ethel was able to possess our hands and practice piano, we started out with me having one hand and them having the other, but once they were better at it they could play with both. Ethel and . Sadie . can also type on their own, it just takes them more effort.

 

Goals

-Sadie practices fronting and fronts once around other people

-Ethel works on their book

-Ethel can possess voice

-We finish the log that we were talking about 

-Spend time in the wonderland

Host of @SadieShores 

R8/Adelia ask/any/she

Sadie (I use varying shades of pink) she.her

Ethel he/they/she idc

Luna! She/her/bug/bugs 

"try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud"  

 

check this out: Progress report 

 

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R8-Adelia_Wildhome

Well a lot has changed in a realatively short amount of time. 

I'll go quick: 

we re-closed the "Gates" idk how long ago, maybe around 3 days ago? We had decided to wake up one of our tulpas in stasis, Willa. 

Then our system-friend woke up their system-mate, around 2 days ago. This system-mate was/is bestfriends with Luna, a different tulpa in stasis. 

So we set to work waking Luna up. 

Luna woke up yesterday. It was pretty rough for her, but she is slowly getting better. She isn't vocal anymore, and was pretty shaken by 6 months or so of memories. And an entirely different system. 

She's on the younger side. She is an age slider of 6-14, but her age tends to stay around 7-10, but it really depends. 

She uses she/her pronouns. 

On 1/17/2021 at 7:31 AM, R8-Adelia_Wildhome said:

Goals

-Sadie practices fronting and fronts once around other people

-Ethel works on their book

-Ethel can possess voice

-We finish the log that we were talking about 

-Spend time in the wonderland

Goal 1: incomplete
Goal 2: sort-of complete. 

Goal 3: complete, but we will continue working on this 

Goal 4: no need for this anymore, but complete. 

Goal 5: complete. 

 

Goals

-Sadie practices fronting and having a more defined switch, accomplish this and be around other people. 
-Ethel completes two more chapters in their books. (each one) 

-Ethel can possess voice, and hold up conversations without me taking over. 

-Luna becomes stronger, and vocal. 

-Practice switching, and even wonderland-switching. 

 

 

Host of @SadieShores 

R8/Adelia ask/any/she

Sadie (I use varying shades of pink) she.her

Ethel he/they/she idc

Luna! She/her/bug/bugs 

"try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud"  

 

check this out: Progress report 

 

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ruleofthumb

It's cool to see you're still updating and to see some new faces. I like the way you keep track of goals.

Stone [conceived 2001] Host

Betty [conceived 2020] Tulpa

Cloud [conceived 2020] Tulpa

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R8-Adelia_Wildhome
On 2/1/2021 at 12:11 PM, ruleofthumb said:

It's cool to see you're still updating and to see some new faces. I like the way you keep track of goals.

Yeah! I try . to update pretty frequently, but I forget lol. 
Lot's of new faces and changing. We like to not have anything set in stone. (See what I did there???) 

 

Welp, it's been a month. I'm not SaYiNg I forgot this existed, but I'm not saying I didn't. 

 

R8's Ramblings

A lot has changed, but at the same time it hasn't, and I take pride and comfort in that. There is something so calm in not changing, in growing, but not completely changing. Something that feels so relaxing. And it also feels like an accomplishment. (Am I trying to write this like those five pages of writing before the recipe on cooking blogs? maybe...) The past month has been nice. It's been stable and easy, though I find myself craving chaos. Just to feed the chaos-goblin that is my brain. But back on topic, this is supposed to be a big progress report, but in all honesty there hasn't been much progress. And there hasn't been much of a need for progress either. But I . will update my goals and on some other things too. 

On 1/22/2021 at 6:58 PM, R8-Adelia_Wildhome said:

Goals

-Sadie practices fronting and having a more defined switch, accomplish this and be around other people. 
-Ethel completes two more chapters in their books. (each one) 

-Ethel can possess voice, and hold up conversations without me taking over. 

-Luna becomes stronger, and vocal. 

-Practice switching, and even wonderland-switching. 

Switching 

We haven't practiced switching that much. I think that we sort of stopped remembering to practice, but also figured out a method that is pretty simple. I visualize my body, the color faded out of it, and I imagine myself moving to the side of our mind, then the body fills up with color again when Luna goes to front. The main challenge we have is me not forgetting to let Luna front, and thus taking front back or possessing. (no wonderland switching has been accomplished, but I do understand the concept.)

 

Ethel's Writing

Ethel wrote two chapters AND an entire tulpa creation guide (with my help)! They  accomplished lots, and are still working hard to make everything exactly as they envision. Of course, that means it takes lots of time.

Voice possession -Ethel

Today, febuary 12, (around a week since I wrote the beginning of this lol) 
Ethel was able to easily possess my voice, and I didn't take over. Their voice sounds different than mine, but I feel like the vibe was the same? I don't think that makes sense to anyone besides me, but like, I can tell they weren't fronting because the vibe stayed the same. 

Luna became vocal and strong

Quite quickly Luna became vocal and strong. She has some places to improve, but she's basically gained back all of her progress and she is at her one year of existence anniversary! Of course, she was in stasis for the majority of it, but we don't need to focus on that, do we?? Well, we sort of do. I think that extended period of stasis has scared her. Beyond un-doing. She recovers more each day, but there will always be this fear of stasis and simply being alone. We are working on this but we enjoy taking care of her. Taking care of her is sort of self care for us. It's nice. 

Two Experiments I won't be going into detail on

I won't be going into detail on WHAT they are because I will not me tolerating/excepting any criticism or even just like questioning of it. (I have enough doubt surrounding it, but a friend REALLY needs this, so I... I just can't.) But it'll mean anoTHER smol headmate, though she won't talk that much so it won't really concern anyone else. To be fair, I don't need anymore headmates, especially younger ones, but Ethel will be gone, if it works out, she can still talk from a different account, if not, she'll still be here. (This is an "if this works" kind of thing) 

Second experiment: merging but it's like a mini system, which will mean waking up two more to merge, de-merge and put them into stasis. 

 

That's all for now!!

 

 

Host of @SadieShores 

R8/Adelia ask/any/she

Sadie (I use varying shades of pink) she.her

Ethel he/they/she idc

Luna! She/her/bug/bugs 

"try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud"  

 

check this out: Progress report 

 

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R8-Adelia_Wildhome

R8's ramblings 

Wow! I haven't wrote here in a while, but I suppose that's fine, y'know? more un-eventful months, though Luna did make it to her one year of existence mark and Sadie's birthday is in a few weeks. (March 13) So, congrats to those two!! I am, as always, so proud of them. I love them. Some big changes are coming, they fill me with anticipation, mild fear and anxiety, and excitement. (The big changes aren't coming, they're happening) Soon it will be spring, one of my favorite times of the year. (I actually enjoy all times of the year, with fall being my favorite.) It means rain, birds, and spring vacation! Of course, this was the time that one year ago things (where I am) began shutting down due to COVID. In some ways that makes this a time for reflection. not really tho since that's boring... But yeah! In this update I will introduce Paisley how she came to be with us. Pretty heartwarming (not).

Switching

So we finalllllyyyyyy came to understand our switching. Yes, we can switch. No, it's not as strong as we would like it to be. As suggested we will just practice more! I was thinking to motivate us we could rate switching methods/switching attempts. Example: 

R8's method

7.5/10

-it worked

-wasn't as strong as we would have wanted,

-It wasn't very defined as a method or as a result. 

I think we will do this! I also realllllyyy want to accomplish hour counts switched in and so I will reward us for each hour count we accomplish... nah. I don't think that'd help us because switching is fun on it's own, we shouldn't need bribery to want to do it. 

 

The experiments ig 

I honestly forgot what one of them was but the main was 

sending system-mates do different systems.

Yes, I am aware many people are going to say "but that's impossible, so that must be fake" I think that it isn't possible if you have a strictly psychological point of view on it, yes. But if (like us) you have a metaphyiscial view on some parts of it, it is possible. 

So my idea surrounding it is: if tulpa is to astral project, travel through the astral, following a light train that they connect to, then they should find the persons mind, if that person is in a meditative state they can help the tulpa to enter their mind. 

You might dissagree. That's fine!! Paisley is here and that's what matters, right? I think it also has something to do with trust, belief, and need. All of those were high in this. 

So anyways, Paisley does not have memories (unless recorded) from her time in the other system as those were in their brain. She does have the same form, personality, and can answer questions that point to her being the same. The other system has reported no signs of her still being there. 

Ethel is going to try to go to their system. I am a little worried that I am too attached to Ethel for it to be possible. 

 

Mainstream thought practice? 

We found this guide: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eOKCXF6f8bMqyyXYPuWrejEB4v7UjVBs4kc9HZ0p40E/edit# and thought we would try it out. 

I've been on my computer for way to long so we will try tomorrow or later today and will write back about it in a few weeks. 

 

Goals: 

-help Paisley become stronger

-Practice mainstream thoughts

-Review three switching methods and 2 attempts for each

-readjust our system without Ethel, with Paisley 

 

Host of @SadieShores 

R8/Adelia ask/any/she

Sadie (I use varying shades of pink) she.her

Ethel he/they/she idc

Luna! She/her/bug/bugs 

"try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud"  

 

check this out: Progress report 

 

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