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Monoimus' Progress Report


Monoimus

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Hello, this'll be my PR page, dedicated to the my tulpa, Lucy, it will also function as a report on my training on Qigong, which I will be using as a meditation method to force with. I plan on consistently updating everyday, as a peer pressure tactic so that I don't slack off, if I don't update for awhile, feel free to scold me.

 

Now about Lucy, I consider her to be a supernatural being, a product of the etheric reality, an imitation of an angel. She is a saint, patron of my mind. Her personality is generally cold and harsh, doomy and gloomy like an Orthodox monk, harboring a disgust for the material world, of the flesh. She adores the mystical Immaterial world of which we can hardly grace (and as well as a good cup of tea). She also really likes H.P. Lovecraft. This is not all of what is her, obviously, just a quick rundown.

 

Our wonderland is a small chapel located in the middle of prairie, very modest.

 

Please excuse my terrible grammar and general abysmal English, I am quite the lowwit, a simple man.

 

I will update in a few hours. I welcome feedback.

Do what thou wilt with thy weakness
A poem of mine, do you know it?

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Bear considers us all angels too, but the eternally positive and divinely tolerant ones. Definitely not gloomy, but lovecraft is fun! So that still sounds cool. 

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September 23
Done some basic Qigong exercises, I'm not acquainted enough with Qigong to do serious meditation, as I've only started less than a week ago. Aside from that, mostly done narration, tried reading to Lucy some Nietzsche (The Will to Power) but unfortunately I am most likely not smart enough to understand him.

 

I am dealing with some doubts however, the feeling I am only talking to myself and that she will remain forever inert still frustratingly persist.

 

Before bed I shall read to her some edgar allan poe.

 

This concludes today's update, hopefully tomorrow I will get more things done, for now, I am tired and need rest.

Do what thou wilt with thy weakness
A poem of mine, do you know it?

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14 hours ago, Monoimus said:

I plan on consistently updating everyday, as a peer pressure tactic so that I don't slack off, if I don't update for awhile, feel free to scold me.

 

Aww, I don't like scolding people who don't post enough. If you post and ping me I'll give you a hug (I don't always read PRs, I'm trying to get over my fear of reading them).

 

Lucy reminds me of my headmate who goes by the "Subconscious Representative". He feels like a supernatural entity, blending into walls and being able to read things about ourselves we often miss. His personality is inconsistent, kind of going with whatever the state of mind is. Deep down though he cares for our well-being. The biggest thing is he is not a huge fan of the idea of controlling the body. He wants little to no part in that, to the point he's reluctant to talk to others.

 

I highly recommend working on visualization training too. I have a feeling Lucy is going to be more comfortable in wonderland in general and the next step could be focusing on fleshing out the details of Lucy's form and the chapel.

I'm Ranger, GrayTheCat's cobud (tulpa), and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I go by Rosalin or Ronan sometimes. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron.

My other headmates have their own account now.

 

If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me!

Blog | Not So Temporary Log | Switching Log | Yay! | Bre Translator | Art Thread

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September 24

I really need to pick up the slack, barely done any work. I've done roughly about half an hour of active forcing before falling asleep, occasionally passive forcing throughout the day. Though, I have noticed since starting this thread, my commitment to this project has improved (I've been working on Lucy on and off for about a month, only recently have I truly started working on her). 

 

As for the active forcing, I tried to give Lucy a portion of my Vril energy using the zivorad method, it was my first attempt at such a thing. Don't think I did it properly, needed to create an astral body beforehand (which I did not do).

 

Meditation, I find, is extremely difficult to do, most likely some underlining medical condition is interfering as I find my breathing hard to manage to the point where I feel short of breath. As such, I've hoped Qigong could replace tradition meditation techniques, so far, I find it hard to master.

 

Tonight I will try again with attempting to give Luce my Vril energy, this time I won't stop until I know something has happened.

 

I must work harder, I must commit. 

I will pray to my Gods for prosperity.

 

Any criticisms is duly welcomed.

Edited by Monoimus

Do what thou wilt with thy weakness
A poem of mine, do you know it?

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September 25
Since 8AM to 4PM have I been switching from active to passive forcing, this the longest I've constantly forced, I was watching TV during the passive parts, but I couldn't focus on what was playing on account of me focusing on Lucy. During this time I liked to imagine Lucy was sitting beside me on the couch.

 

Ranger said I should start on visualization, I have started been working on it. I have a form in mind, with references to help. 

 

Anyhow, I recently order some research chemicals (4-HO-MCPT), should arrive within a week or two, hopefully by then Lucy will be much more advanced, it would been interesting experimenting with Lucy by my side.

Do what thou wilt with thy weakness
A poem of mine, do you know it?

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September 26
I like looking at older threads and seeing all the pony tulpas, relics from a bygone era.

 

No hard work today, just passive forcing throughout, I could do better. I should've.

Do what thou wilt with thy weakness
A poem of mine, do you know it?

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September 27


Same old, got about a solid hour of forcing down. I have been practicing visualization, and imposition to a lesser extant, both are doing excellent, if I say so myself.

Do what thou wilt with thy weakness
A poem of mine, do you know it?

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September 30
I purposefully skipped two days due to them being uneventful.

 

Today I took two long walks, both of them roughly an hour in length, I tried my best to focus on Lucy during my travels.


I have started talking to Luce about my troubles and as well trivial nonsense, sometimes jokes that crack me up, I hope she isn't annoyed.


This evening I read to Lucy the Book of Revelation, I hope she enjoyed it.

 

Today marks one week since I officially started working on Luce. 

Do what thou wilt with thy weakness
A poem of mine, do you know it?

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  • 2 months later...

December 27, Trimonthly update

Lucy has been through some significant changes throughout the months, but no substantial developments have been made, my Will is extremely weak and motivation null.

 

I have tried to take up tulpaforcing while trying to sleep, it is difficult however. In the beginning it was flawless, then I started to slip with each day, this seems to happen every time I try new methods to force.

 

I wish I could find that spark I had when I started, she was all I could think of, now I barely give her a passing glance, I need to discipline myself, I shall try to take up standing meditation, or Chi Gong, once again. 

 

I hope to make strides by spring time.

 

Edit: Forgot an important detail, a week ago I tried tarot, When asked about my tulpa situation, I drew a reversed Death card, Knight of Swords, and a reversed six of swords. Now this is interesting as a reversed Death card means the situation has become stagnant and possibly I am resistant to change. I don't know what other cards mean, but the Death card was a stunning draw.

Edited by Monoimus

Do what thou wilt with thy weakness
A poem of mine, do you know it?

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