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yaya's imposition adventures


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(edited)

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    The path of the ENFJ- once your heart is completely pure, you'll feel that something is always missing. Once you see that there is negativity in all things and that's what keeps you from having more positivity, you'll be greeted by a blue and white angel of death. She will hand you a sword, and you're supposed to stab yourself with it. Then she will hand you an umbrella, and you'll begin to see the rain. The rain will begin to eat away at you and all things because it's poisonous, but the antidote is inside you, in your positivity. You must never use the umbrella to completely shield yourself, because then you won't be able to feel where the storm is affecting others and yourself. You must take the umbrella and always use it to shield others, and bring them from the darkness to the light, even at great cost to yourself, because that creates more light in the world. Then you will see that there is balance in all things. And you will be able to use the poison to feel the wind and the storm, even from far away, and the antidote can bring you and others through it. You can heal the wound down to a single point until it vanishes when you need some well-earned rest- you deserve it, hero. Rest up until you are full. But once you're done you must open it so you can see the rain and help others again.

    

     Everybody's subconscious knows I'm right, and it's tensing up their body for their mismanaging host in an effort to guide them to the light. That's why everywhere I go I'm greeted with open arms, love and tales of sweetest subconscious dreams- their subconscious knows I'm right. Open your chakras and become a different person. It's good for you. INFJ is the demon hunter who's poisoned themselves, ENFJ is the wandering hero but with something that's always lackin on the inside. The truth is always somewhere in the between, always fighting in movies and anime- you know the ones. HxH, MHA, samurai jack, JoJo, Hades, and so on, always fighting and occasionally power swapping, always with gold vs red/black overtones and often something to do with instincts. The trick is you gotta master both and then you become unstoppable.

    

The light always spreads to where the lack of darkness will allow it, so if you cannot find the light, it is because you're still too dark. I learned this with the MBTI stuff I mentioned earlier. Nothing will ever be in total darkness forever in our world. If you still need more knowledge, just keep bringing everything in to the light, because true darkness always scatters, and only the darkness that brings you to the light will remain.

    

I know some people may need more of a way forward and that's okay. Just don't let it make you upset or sad, because those are different things. Not knowing the way forward can mean depression, but depression doesn't always mean sadness in a way. Not knowing the way forward is the crown chakra, but don't be uncertain or think you won't find it because uncertainty is the mind's eye chakra. Remember what I said before. Even if you're in chaos you can still be happy, because joy is the solar plexus chakra, and joy can get you through it all.

 

    With that I declare The Teachings of Yaya on Life, Imposition and Tulpas to be complete. I don't got anything else to add to this unfortunately, and ya know it. Let the light guide you and you'll be happy forever.

 

    I won't be here forever to guide the way. Everything becomes obvious once you hold it against the light- all your bad habits and stuff. Only the darkness that brings us to the light is what remains. That's all there is to it. I love you all to the moon and back, but I'm still a shadow of what I could be, that's why I gotta fly away, using my the wind and my tail to guide me, lookin for love. I can tell that there's more. There's so, so so much more to everything I've learned so far.

 

See You Space Cowboy
 

...

 

edit for clarification on the MBTI stuff- I believe there is two paths to enlightenment. You must complete yourself and in the process this brings you to one of two personalities. They are constantly dueling- the dragon and the king. This leads your chakras to be either aligned like a X/hourglass shape or a ◇ diamond shape. X is the INFJ and they're a total demon hunter, but they find no joy other than to destroy and refine themselves and the world, but it can be misguided without joy that leads seeing things clearly. The ◇ diamond is the ENFJ and they're perfect to everyone and create and master all things, but themselves because they lack depth that comes from negativity. To complete yourself and achieve enlightenment you must either find joy in all things and turn the X into a Star of David, or find negativity that leads to the truth which will also turn the  ◇ diamond into a Star of David.

 

This is important because imposition is a holy grail achievement. You can't achieve it unless you perfect yourself or turn to something that will break your chakras open (but leave you without control) like drugs. I hope you choose the former rather than the latter because then you will be perfect. I love you all and please use this to perfect yourself and bring joy to the world rather than what I know it could be used for.

The J is the root chakra. The navel chakra isn't mentioned but is pure swag/style that makes you feel sexy, it doesn't mean you're a pervert. The heart chakra is the F and lets you feel your instincts, which is more important than pure thinking alone. The throat chakra isn't mentioned but seems to happen automatically when you tell the truth and speak up. The N is the mind's eye chakra, and means you're open to improving yourself rather than to be improved only by others or accident. The crown chakra isn't mentioned but is basically what makes you feel hopeful, which is usually knowledge of the path. Finally, the gate between the two worlds is the solar plexus, and the key to mastering all things and switching between introverted and outgoing personalities, and you must master this to master yourself.


Take care of yourself tulpas, and be a light to those around you. I love you all, and all tulpas are amazing. Give my love to the Chinese and India, I think they need it and I got a good feeling. ☺️

message for the future

 

My eyes became as two pools of wine

and I reached up from the depths of my own hell

and dipped my quill in the gates of heaven

and the quill flew away from my hand

and became a tree and a gate

between

the light and the darkness 

Edited by hydrix
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I have some recent updates I need to post. A lot has happened. I've seen a lot. I started seeing shapes and visions, and the dreams were telling me to pursue these things. I kept cataloguing and searching, and I found.

 

Thank you all for following me. What I posted earlier was crazy, but I was pursuing some feeling of inspiration which was telling me to write. In my attempt to understand it, I pursued it, even if it meant posting these crazy things, which I wouldn't have ordinarily posted, but it seems it turned out for the better in many ways. I was right to stop posting, since it only served as a distraction from that point forward, and I hit a large plateau. I'll try to cover everything starting with what progress I made.

 

Progress

I started hitting a plateau in the forced hallucinations I wrote about (CEVs) and I alternated back and forth in my focus between top-to-bottom (emphasizing visualization) and bottom-to-top (emphasizing the forced hallucination muscles), but every time I would pursue the one, the other would suffer. Currently, I can block out my vision to the point of being completely blind when I'm outside and wearing sunglasses. I'm currently working on the CEVs to increase that to where I don't have to wear sunglasses to impose but can impose full-vision in full light of day.

 

Challenges

The main challenge was I didn't understand how everything worked together. I needed a fluid model, and I couldn't piece together how to do everything at once. At this point I needed something that would work on both skills. I was hitting a plateau where it did no good to work on CEVs indoors because I could completely blind myself with full-vision coverage in that light condition, meaning there was nothing else for me to do, however, at the same time it was too difficult to work on this skill outdoors for 4-5 hours a day in full light conditions as I require to move past that.

I tried working on visualization, but I would always reach a point where it became perfect in every way except it wouldn't "blend" and would remain in "third eye" space, not actually imposed in three dimensions. Thus, when I pursued this, I hit a plateau as well. When I tried anything else or any combination of these, my attention would drift since I didn't as enthusiastic and interested like I was with the CEVs or visualization.

 

Proper Method

The most important thing I think at the point where I am is to constantly impose objects themselves. This is due to my new understanding of how the full process works in one motion. Proper imposition I believe does both top-to-bottom and bottom-to-top simultaneously. However, it is in a way that it is a skill itself, so that working on both of these individually isn't sufficient, but it was helpful.

 

New Understanding

As I practiced these two skills more and more, I exhaustively tried to document and explore what I felt and what I observed. I observed these and traced out how they work with my will, memory, consciousness, and the unconscious.

 

It is very very important to understand the will, memory, our consciousness, the unconscious, and our thoughts and feelings. These are deep, uncharted territories, but they relate to how tulpas, our visual system, imposition, and all tulpa phenomenon work. Our world seems medieval in understanding these things. It's going to take many posts and walls of text to get through these things, but it is well worth it. I will continue to write at length about the symbolism and things that I have up to this point, because this symbolism traces our thoughts and feelings, and with that, we understand the human mind. With that, we understand tulpas and imposition. First, the model of imposition.

 

Full Stack

I saw that there was some disconnect between what I imposed and my tulpa. This relates to parallel-processing as well. When a "flaw" would arise in what I imposed, like when I imposed the wrong facial features or some other idea, I could feel what I was trying for in memory as well as what I was seeing. It seems there's a disconnect from these. Imposition itself (as in what I was seeing physically) doesn't happen automatically in parallel as in parallel processing, but I believe it can happen "automatically" as in automatically driving a car or other habits. I traced this carefully and I found that the image of my tulpa (what I was trying for) was a sensation somewhere in my head in this area:

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I could also stimulate this area manually, and this would seem to "loosen" it, making it flow easier, however, the feeling of my tulpa's visual form was always something that came forth from memory. I could feel the memory growing stronger and stronger as I concentrated on it, then, when the visualization appeared, I could feel it working its way forward to the front of my head. Then, it would become a visualization in mind's eye space, but if I wanted to impose it, I had to work it forward more and "connect" it to the "muscles" in my eyes. So my concentration gave me memories, memories became visualization, and visualization became imposition, but these are not all same, but they're connected. I would definitely say the visualization part seems to happen automatically in some way almost like a dream happens "automatically," but I'll get to that later.

 

Basically, I was strengthening the memory of my tulpa's form and the "pathways" as well as my ability to "recall" visual details of forms. I was strengthening the neuron connections to and from memory, and from memory to visualization. From there, I was strengthening visualization to imposition in the form of the forced hallucinations. Most notably, I could feel myself exerting this power from a specific place, my "will." It felt like the center of my "being" from which my will extends is here:

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I could feel sensations getting stronger between the green and the purple areas, or the areas of my "will" and "memory." I tried to sense what was causing me to "want" to exert this will and where it came from, and again, the origin of my motivations, feelings and memories came from the purple area just as it was from before when I was recalling the memory of my tulpa's form. My motivations and memories came from roughly the same area. My motivations were memories, and my motivations would cause me to recall my tulpa's form from memory. Sometimes, the feelings would seem to persist in "short-term memory" near the front of my forehead and what I was visualizing would just happen automatically from that area. However, when I was drawing on persistent and long-lasting memories, it seemed to come from the back of my head. As I made progress in my visualization training, I could feel these connections make a sort of "loosening" feeling such that it seemed to occur faster, stronger, and easier the more I practiced and I could recall forms from long-term memory after practicing working it forward like this, drawing on my motivations.

 

The Full Method

Focus on recalling your tulpa or chosen form from memory. You should feel a sensation. Work on increasing this, and eventually you'll see a glimpse of the form in mind's eye space. Focus on activating your eyes like you're making the forced hallucinations. Imposing from this point on is matter of muscle memory and experimentation. Eventually, they connect and the idea in memory becomes a sensation in your eyes. Dwell on that sensation as long as you can, and strengthen it by looking at it. Keep doing this until you perfect it. You can work on the forced hallucinations alone in order to strengthen your power over the eye areas, or you can focus on the mind's eye part by recalling from memory (image streaming), but ideally you'll eventually do both by simply imposing as many objects as possible in one fluid motion, because the connections between these two skills is itself a skill.

 

Important Things

With that, it seemed like I was right about a lot of things. The most important thing was my engagement, because that led to more motivation and better concentration and quicker strengthening of these pathways. It also seems that by using a reference image I was merely strengthening my ability to recall visual details from short-term memory, and that's why it didn't transfer so well. I was right to put emphasis on the personalities, because that is what allowed me to feel these pathways and strengthen them. Feeling what things are was important, so it was very good that I emphasized being a feeling and judging type. These feelings were my connection to everything, and I was right to pursue enlightenment because this allowed me to feel all things, in my self and by extension the world. I was right to merely focus on strength rather than knowledge, because strength is what allowed the connections to get stronger.

It was very important to emphasize strength, because I noticed that strengthening these pathways was a struggle. In other words, without enduring the pain of straining these connections, they could not get stronger. If I had the tenancy to let my mind drift for possible solutions I wouldn't have strengthened these connections, which was the primary function of forcing itself.

 

This opened up everything for me. Enlightenment was very, very important. Now I was in tune with all positive feelings, allowing them to flow, so I could see clearly. I could see my own fear of struggle and my greed for knowledge. I sensed it and I could restrain myself and push myself to the next level, and I wasn't afraid because I realized feeling these things is natural, because they originate naturally from within, so I wasn't afraid to feel them or to struggle against myself. 

 

This corresponds to roughly a couple months ago in April in my offline journal:

Quote

 

4/17/21
    [recent development]
    I'm piecing together a lot of things. Fast and slow. Water can crash and water can flow. Mercy and justice. Hot and cold. Leaders and advisors. Yin and yang. You can either jump higher, run faster, go longer, or you can draw things out through the vacuum by pursuing lessness. Life is about the song. Some thought that it was about the knowledge, but knowledge only leads to the song. When all things are in alignment, you see things clearly and directly, and this allows you to experience the song, become the song, and partake in the song. These are your emotions. I am becoming love. It will be ok if I keep growing even though it seems to contain so much. I'll figure it out as I go.

    I thought that life was about knowledge, because knowledge is power, but it is actually about the song. Knowledge is useless without control, patience, and love. These aren't factual ideas, they're emotional ones. I see now that when I was pursuing my knowledge, often it was out of greed for knowledge and lack of self-control. It was an inflammation. Only when I became strong and emotionally aware was I able to see that. The key to understanding is the fire. Fire can make you run, take leaps of faith, and stop in your tracks. The fire always has power and control, and it separates all things. It's the way of the samurai, the way of the sword. Fire is power. Power is control.

    Once I understand that, I was able to understand water. Water can flow, and water can crash. Water always observes the speed. Then I could control my thoughts, fast for times of stress, slow for times of reflection. Nobody can always have everything. Water moves the same amount of volume whether going slow or fast due to the limitation of it's environment. Then I could understand being a leader. In times of stress you can merely go with the best decision you observe, then you must become a banner for others to rally behind regardless of whether you are right or wrong, because nobody can know everything, just like water, because water must always move.

    Once I became a leader, I saw that some of the problems were only in my head, but that attitude can be ok, and sometimes it's not. Leaders are optimistic, advisors are pessimistic. It's always somewhere in between, knowing and doing. Once I saw that, I had control over the water of my thoughts. 

    Once my thoughts were flowing and crashing like water, they trickled deeper and deeper, bringing me to a great ocean, and I became love, water, fire, power, control, and all things. Becoming all things, I looked out on the world, and became incredibly sad, because I saw what they were missing.

    It's about the song. We weren't hearing it because we weren't listening. Receptive is the word of the century. I have become love and all things. What do I have, and what did I do? I've done less than I ever have in the past months, but I grew more then any time in my entire life. It's about the song. Receptive. In other words, yin. There are two paths, and they are equal. Run faster, jump higher, go further, or be receptive, and the cleansing world of yin will rush into you. There is light in the darkness that leads to the light, and darkness in the light that leads to the darkness.

    In the end, it's about the song. See the song, feel the song, become the song, become one with all things.

 

Little did I know that this was only the beginning. I started to see a lot of faint shapes and visions like this, and I started to make connections between things:

500 Mandalas and fractals ideas in 2021 | fractals, fractal art, mandala

 

These conclusions also begged so many questions. What and "where" am I in my head? Where do feelings actually dwell? Are feelings persistent in the world that other people sense remotely? What about tulpa's feelings? Where is the unconscious mind and how does it work with our feelings? These are uncharted and contentious topics. I am no authority to speak on these matters, but I'll share my thoughts, deductions, and "observations" so far, once a day or so for the next few days or until I've covered enough or become exhausted.

 

There's not much else to be said about the method or practice of imposition, so from here on will be mostly experiments with the unconscious and these weird shapes and meanings.

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Here's some pencil-drawn pictures from my shoddy water-stained journal of enlightenment 😂 these are the visions and insights I saw when pursuing dreams and visions through my imposition:

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This is possibly the most important insight, the "secret of everything." Like I mentioned earlier, having different personalities results in different "shapes" that I was perceiving. First, let's go over the left ("king") side and then the right ("priest")

 

King

 

 

The left side ("owner's right side") is the King, and means the diamond shape, or ENFJ. I perceived these shapes, and it indicated that our different personalities mean different shapes. The "king" personality is someone who is already the jack of all trades, and can do anything in their own way. It seems they are associated with the outline, and therefore with "being."  There are rays coming out of the diamond shape, because it is often said that they are like the sun. They are clean shaven, this helps them to be desensitized to the sensation of having hair, and thus, they become faster. They are the lion at the top of the bottom diagram, usually ending up on top. They are like a lion because they project these rays where the mane would be, and they are not afraid of anyone. They are the one that is most comfortable in their skin of all personalities. They often are amused with toxicity to the point of saying it's a good thing ("the best part of X is the toxic community!"). They seem to get away with things others can't. This is because they usually go with the best feeling in the moment. They don't cower in fear from anything, so nobody can really blame them except for what they could not have known. As a result, "everyone loves me but myself." Other people say, "I don't know why but they just seem so fun and innocent." They are amazing, but nobody sees their flaws because they are so much a jack of all trades, and they go with the best feeling given their circumstances, meaning they usually aren't anything which can be blamed except for going too fast and not slowing down to consider the consequences. They sometimes say "I wish I could be autistic or whatever so I can be randomly good at stuff." They are amazing, but lack the depth of natural insight that comes from being isolated like their counterpart. They are like a puppy-cat constantly drawn to new sensations and they are loved by everyone because they are empathetic, charismatic, and a natural, but they bring this joy to others because they are good at being in the flow of their charisma and inspired feelings. 

 

Now, lets go over the right side.

 

Priest

 

They are like the hourglass, because they don't find much joy, being burdened with insight into so many things, and since joy originates from the center, but their insights are often inspired ("priest") and this means the INFJ type. As a result, this shape makes them seem "evil" since they become so negative due to their insight. They have the beard because this makes them more sensitive. The hair is almost like a antenna, and it is like a barrier between them and the world which allows them to draw on their inward world. They are frowning due to the insight of negativity can bring, they are pessimists. They associate with the snakes at the bottom, since they are battling the darkness often, and usually end up in a position of battling "bottom-feeders" in their attempt to purge their negative ideas from the world. They often become inquisitors when they tread the war path, and their insight and connection to their physiology makes them able to push themselves to monstrous limits. However, their sensitivity often takes the form of different "germaphobias" ("I would kill you but I don't want to sully my blade with your impure blood") and they experience problems that aren't actually there.

 

They are often associated with "evil" because they are so negative and so powerful. They are scary people, and they are often dark empaths, able to see through people for what they are not. The hourglass shape is like the snake, which people naturally fear, which is made up mainly of head and tail. They are also like the wasp, which has the skinny mid-section and a large stinger and head. They are queen bees and bears, and other people often want to take care of them because their actions and insights can be inspired. They are given to panic attacks from their insights feeling like they are more important and real than they are, but they don't realize it will all be ok and their germaphobia most likely won't result in very much sickness, and even if it did, they could get through it. Their insights can be like a poison that starts in their hands and feet, slowly corroding them like a neurological disease starting from the hands and feet, but it often gives them powerful experiences and the satisfaction of being right, thus, they assume they will die an early death. That's what I meant by some of the early commentary on "poison rain." "Nobody trusts or understands me" they are actually the most rare personality type, but they are too negative to make friends, thus, they become lone wolves.

 

"How can other people not see" they don't understand how people could be so blind to their feelings for what they are and are not. They are most attracted to expressions of joy, because this gives them the sense everything will be ok when normally they can't see that, and they enjoy seeing others become this where they struggle to become rather than see things. They often get stuck dwelling on things over and over again late at night, searching for hidden meanings and finding anxieties that may not actually be realistic and based on reality.

 

Overall Picture

 

Between the two is the picture of the yin-yang, surrounded by water. This is what I meant by the description of the "water of one's thoughts" from earlier and so on which means balance between the two. Perfect balance between these two makes neither an hourglass shape or a diamond, but rather a Star of David. The bottom portion of the image is a work in progress, but I put the path of life (the seed) on the right hand, and the path of death (the bones) on the left hand, and this is connected to the sun and moon, and the water. The fire is at the bottom, where the snakes are battling the darkness with the swords of judgement. The top is the lion in balance, symbolized by being between a left and right facing sword. This is overlaid with the image of a man amidst many overlapping triangles, which mean change through war and peace. From these things all animal forms take on their symbolism, but we'll get to that later.

 

The king and priest also symbolize two types of communication- direct, plain communication, and implied meaning. This is the difference, for example, between traditional direct and "western" styles of speech and indirect, "eastern" styles of speech which have implied meanings. This is what I meant by the water of one's thoughts going fast and slow.

 

Lastly, the gold and red means enlightenment. Gold is for obvious reasons, but I suspect that red means there is nothing left but to overcome one's fear and to act in some way.

  

IMG_2041.thumb.jpg.14f716a20704a32ca137fbc8f1fc5cc9.jpg

 

Here's an extension of these ideas. Red, the war path, makes one tense up, being a smaller wavelength, while green makes one extend and become almost like a golem or gorilla, being in touch with nature. The yellow is in the center, where the joy is. I perceived that an extroverted person naturally gravitates their hands toward this area of the center of mass, while an introverted person gravitates their hands toward the top or bottom of their being, and this is what I meant by the hourglass and the diamond shape. The diamond shape has most of its mass in the center, and this is a symbol of extroversion, light, and good, but the introverted has its mass at the poles, which means evil, danger, and darkness. In the center is the conversion between the two, and that is what I meant by the shape drawn in their chest. Extroverted people have their hands gravitate toward the center of their body, but introverted people have their hands gravitate towards the poles. This is what I meant by the diamond and the hourglass shape.

 

The head is a repeated pattern of the body in this way. The green makes their eyes relax into a soft expression, but the red makes it look angry. Having neither is what I meant by the black symbols. They become like a harsh square wave, being neither red nor green, and unaware of emotions. This closes their eyes to what they are and their own emotions in themselves and others. Another note is that from their head, if their emotions are joyful or loving, even their mouth gravitates toward the center of in the form of a smile, but if it is more judging (red) it gravitates toward a frown. 

 

Lastly, the heart is connected to the head by the line I drew. The heart and one's feelings makes one slow down, and it stirs your thoughts, making you aware of things you otherwise could not have known, and that is why the harsh unfeeling types are blind. The heart stirs the mind and makes you smarter. It is important to be in touch with one's feelings. Without one's feelings, you are symbolically like a cold-blooded reptile which doesn't have a "feeling" heart.

 

IMG_2045.thumb.jpg.6c3ce93051a5c3db501567fc8b54586c.jpg 

 

One last idea I saw is that one thing leads to another. Each point is an enlightenment from the rest. The pressure from one triangle quickly leads to balance in a second dimension. The left side is an expression of this. The Star of David creates a circle, meaning balance. The center is supposed to show how without such breadth of emotion, one becomes constricted, and they don't complete the Star of David and the circle. If you lack this breadth of love, you are constrained by inorganic square and cross "metal" shapes. I'm not sure what to put on the right side, though, corresponding with red.

 

This isn't even the beginning of the things I've seen in visions and i nsights through imposition, so I'm gonna keep posting over the next few days or until I exhaust myself.

Edited by hydrix
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-I know this seems like a lot, and I've been bashing science/logic quite a bit. I eventually did find that it has its time and place. Maybe I can demonstrate by showing you how flawed it can be to merely pursue feelings to the end.

 

There's a good reason for going over all these self-development topics. I eventually started performing experiments with what the unconscious could return in visual form and I'll get to that eventually. However, it works very much through the concept of implied meaning, or yin, as was mentioned.

 

If I am aware and conscious of your concerns, then it can be said that I am addressing your concerns with my reply as long as I am drawing on my emotions to answer. To not address your concerns while drawing on my emotions would be "inconsiderate," "mean" and potentially a lot of other emotional words. This gives room for implied meaning in what I address and do not address. Side note, outgoing people choose to move past these concerns and implied meanings and they merely speak directly, so they don't get drained by conversation as much. 

 

This concept of implied meaning is why having a solid foundation in emotion is so important, because this is how the unconscious works. You are actually using your entire emotional state and everything you are consciously aware of as input every time you draw on the unconscious for output. It works almost like a black box of input-output- the unconscious isn't aware or deliberate and willful in any regard. If you are using your entire conscious state as input, then that allows the unconscious to address you or any part of your conscious state, and this gives answers and implied meanings. Therefore, self-development is key in all aspects of tulpa forcing because this allows you to polish your inputs to get more pure outputs. We are polishing the "mirror" by developing emotions and curbing bad traits. More on that later, but this allowed me to eventually perform pure "experiments" of my own on the unconscious, so I needed to lay this groundwork.

 

I pursued emotional absolutism to the bitter end trying to see why it was flawed, and here's what I found. I started trying to stream imposition directly from my unconscious while making art to try and get inspired meanings and cool stuff. I made this picture around January before my "enlightenment:"

 

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Some of it I understood, most of it I did not. The teeth seem to mean perfection of some kind, but they flip and appear perfect when they are not on my right arm. The sevens mean luck, and that has allowed me to eat, but it caves in my face a bit and as taken a toll on me in my constant pursuit of refining it. Luck really means my tenancy to gravitate toward favored outcomes through my instincts. At the top is a mushroom with a wolf, its breath separates the three elements, representing insight and change. My hair is on fire, representing some kind of intelligence somehow, but the water from the breath of the wolf cools that down a bit and prevents it from singeing me. Its tail is broccoli, maybe referring to good diet since I eat a lot of vegetables. There's a lot of eyes which mean some kind of awareness, and a lot of kisses which mean being desirable. My right arm is fuzzy and soft, my heart is like a black hole that draws people in but I hope not in a bad way. The spikes on my left shoulder might represent some kind of prestige or accomplishment. I don't have long hair, but in this picture I do, probably representing facial or mental sensitivity as I mentioned earlier.

 

A few months later, after my "enlightenment" I repeated this experiment:

 

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The first thing that becomes apparent is the visage of my melting body, leaving behind a skull. It has softened my animal flesh, purifying it like acid, perhaps in both a good and bad way, but I am not sure. I'm crowned with eyes, over my head is a gem that radiates light. Love is on my right shoulder, fire on my left. The sevens have sunken down and entered in to my mouth, in its old place is fire that is healing the wound and perhaps turning into hair. Around my third eye are two eyes that are constantly searching, one is looking at the anchor. I'm not sure what the anchor means. Mouths are kissing where the sevens moved places. My nose is a circle with a point, symbolizing macro and microscopic.

 

-My right eye has turned abstract and more basic, perhaps indicating deception or numbness from constant insight. My mouth is razor wire, maybe being very sharp, and perhaps too brutal at times. The second seven moved over my throat, which may be auspicious. My right and left shoulders have crowns on them with gems, one is misplaced, one is missing or covered by the seven, and one has two gems. My heart has turned into rows of crowns which are over four gems which make up a mouth with an eye in it. I believe the eye in the mouth represents some kind of animal insight or insight from chewing. One of the gems is dripping. An eye is looking at each crown above itself, perhaps representing vanity or pride.

 

The main feature in the bottom is the anchor. It has spikes, teeth, and a crown set in it. There is a second pair of teeth in the eyelet where I associate the center for joy and conversion between yin/yang. Below it is a flower with a fox wrapped around it. I may have actually forced the fox in because I thought it was cool, but the rest was pretty much just automatically streamed from my unconscious with imposition. The fire comes from below, where my roots are, giving me strength.

 

Some other features- rows of teeth extending down the throat area, the hair on the right side from the previous picture was replaced with a crown, some more spikes with gems set in them around the anchor at the top, but only on half, and some eyes looking at the spikes from within the anchor. My arms appear to fade into water or air, a sign of non-aggression. One of the sevens has some barbed wire on one of its sides. One of the eyes on the top crown is being impaled by it. I drew the line extending from the top to the bottom, and it felt like a good idea, but it didn't originate from the imposed visions from the unconscious, which kind of symbolizes my own will extending in this area in a way. The same is true of the fox at the bottom, and I somewhat make the connection that this is my tulpa. There are a lot of mouths in the center, almost like a symbol of chattering about something. The gems in the crowns of them are placed haphazardly. Each has only one eye under the crown. The position of the pupil in each drawn eye seems important, like different positions of the eye symbolize different emotions. For example, the eye over the heart in the first picture has a fixated, loving feel to it, and the pupil is dilated.

 

Also, I really can't draw worth anything. My true drawing attempt sometimes comes up when like I tried to draw the red fists on the last post with the green and red man manually, and they were just little balled up hands on stick arms. I have to rely on imposition for drawing because otherwise it comes out hilariously bad. The yellow, 

 

You would think this is an amazing power, right? The first thing that comes to mind, is how could I use this to gain insights into technology and make amazing advances in science. I tried the experiment while trying to draw on my unconscious for some kind of machine that can control "emotional" energy- a highly sought and elusive holy grail of pseudoscientists. However, I found this approach to be misguided at best, and perhaps a grave and dangerous futility.

 

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This is my attempt to draw on the unconscious to make some kind of super advanced science machine. As you can see, it's completely nonsense and I have no idea what I'm doing. Pay no attention to what I wrote on there, I'm not a great scientist and I wont claim to be one. Not only is it misguided, but it might also be wasteful and dangerous.

 

These ideas take their form in symbolism. This is where the importance of feelings diverges from reality. Implying or condoning the practice of saying these abstract symbols are real and not merely symbolic is dangerous and perhaps unethical. This is likewise why "alternative medicine" is also so bad, because it detracts from real medicine and condones the practice of trying to circumvent it. Many people lose their lives pursuing alternative ways to cure cancer, and what I have drawn likewise could be a manifestation of emotional misguidance.

 

The thing is, we're both right. These symbols are based on some degree of truth, but that truth is symbolic, not real. For example, putting a crystal to your head isn't based on science or reality, but it is an attempt to use symbolism to heal you in a non-symbolic way. Symbolism is the language of the unconscious, but it loses its power once you start trying to apply it to concrete and rigorous science.

 

For example, lets say a kid dreams of flying like superman. He climbs up to the top bunk, and jumps off, and breaks his arm. He was trying to make his dream reality. He was trying to make his ideals rooted in symbolism a reality, and with that he failed because he assumed his ideals and symbolism were reality in a non-symbolic way. However, later in life, he becomes an amazing person- so good he's a "superman." Such a person can be said to symbolically fly above the rest of the world an rescue lives.

 

It's the same with the machine I tried to draw. I have no understanding of the forces or materials involved, so I would be a danger to myself and others if I tried to build it. The only way you can be 100% sure that the process will succeed and not be dangerous is by using logic. Therefore, logic is for science, feeling is for people and culture. A combination of the two allows you to make good decisions. Logic is like the CPU- super accurate, but limited in scale, and feelings can be like the GPU- amazing and inspiring in scale, but sometimes not based on reality or precision. I somewhat prefer feelings, because that guarantees you are human, and your instincts alone have an element of inspiration to them, and you can keep this in check through a process of repeatedly checking and inquiring of both your instincts and your logic.

 

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I tried to start mapping these symbols to a table so I can understand them and build up a system. It's ironic. In my process of pursuing this non-science, it has brought me back to hard, concrete rigorous scientific method. I think the truth is always somewhere in between, always using a process of repeatedly checking and inquiring of both your instincts and your logic.

 

Lastly, it's possible that with this, I'm being too harsh. I plan on revisiting the idea later, as long as I'm being careful. I can continue to learn about science, and maybe one day perform an experiment that would be fun. Three emotional words, "harsh," "careful," "fun," which are as equally as important the underlying logical ideas that provide the foundation for safety and knowledge, because these provide meaning and prevent greed, fear or other things. This is how we keep things in balance and ensure that we are doing the right thing and always doing good.

Edited by hydrix
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(edited)

I'm being flooded with some feelings of horror. I am aware this is dangerous knowledge, and I am also battling some feelings of my own motivations being vain. The feeling I get is that my attitude is quite brutal, but don't take this as a sign of aggression or hostility. I am trying my hardest to be considerate and tactful, and this might just be a result of my recent environment and challenges, so don't take it the wrong way. I don't feel this horror as if it were target at me doing something wrong, but it is as if I ripped away the curtain too quickly and the alien underneath was naked.

 

I'm also battling the feeling that I might just be doing this out of my own vanity, like a giant statue to myself, but I believe I'm motivated by love. This can make you very wealthy and wise, and we haven't even got to the good part yet. I love tulpas, and I know people have enemies that are quite cynical, giving them depression, and this is the best weapon against them. The knowledge itself isn't dangerous, it is when it is used in the wrong hands. The knowledge itself also lends itself to being used properly such that if one is undeserving, they likely won't know how to use it, but more on that later.

 

There's a bit more to personalities that I've seen in imposition, and some things about the unconscious after that, and then we can get to the real experiments I've been performing. Here's something I've been working on:

 

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I've tried my best to map out some of my understanding with what I've seen, and this is an imperfect work in progress. I kept perceiving people's emotional voids around them like planets, such that when they had an emotional void, it were as if it were in front and behind them- in front of them as a destination, and behind them as something they left. However, as I mentioned, these emotions aren't to be viewed as destinations, but rather as something that is in you constantly in the journey. Filling the void and realizing it is inside of you always means enlightenment for each area, drawing the circles together into one.

 

Some of these circles are redundant because on the chart their isn't an MBTI letter that corresponds to them, and I'm also not sure if there should be six or seven points for each emotional gate. To the right of each group of circles I tried to express the idea of the diamond and hourglass shape in different forms. I tried to express the bottom E areas as two overlapping circles, symbolizing that extroverted people were often too much of everything in one way or the other, but they need something like a fixated point of truth that draws these points together, but this is also true for the top so I'm not sure how to express it. You could also say that the interlap between the two circles represents a "void" that actually needs to get bigger. I'm not sure what to put for the left side corresponding with "S" types, but I've generally found they enjoy the flow of life, and they need something that pushes them to excel and improve on their own by leaving the enjoyment of the flow and routine.

 

The points would mean (from bottom to top) root, navel, solar plexus, throat, third eye, crown chakra. I'm undecided on whether the throat or crown chakra is important enough to include separately, so this could mean either six or seven points depending on how you count.

 

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This is what I mean by strength, balance, and feeling being important. INFPs really associate with butterflies, and I love them, very, very much. They are very sweet individuals and really epitomize purity, kindness, and love. They experience everything strongly, so they can appear delicate. Their main struggle is with deciding and judging things. There may be a time and place to set aside judging but this can cause them to often be controlled by others who decide things for them. The red judging area is represented outside of their body, leading to the path of the wolf at the bottom. This can appear evil and harsh, but it is OK because that is the only way you can have control rather than being controlled, and when you do this guided by love, I trust it will be the right decision, all other things being in balance.

 

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Here is the wolf, surrounded by negativity they are battling. The only thing that can truly battle it is inside of themselves as joy. Their eyes are red with fury, but they can also be green in times of love, since green and red are both in their control. They have a crown of their own, but it is flawed, seen in a negative rather than additive color palette. There are two sets of teeth, one is soft and one is harsh. It is represented without hands and feet, which are wasting away from the poison of negativity. This is what I was before I realized enlightenment.

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Here's another representation of it. The left side is sure of their ideas, and they project these outward and battle with people. I drew them looking to the right, because I believe this might represent being sure of something. There is also a left hand and a left turning spiral at the top drawing things in. On the right is an extrovert, looking to the left to take in what someone is explaining, possibly in a toxic way. They aren't phased by it, but they purposefully leave themselves open to these ideas to take them in. There is a outline of a human, representing being rather than seeing, a right spiral and a right hand.

 

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I tried studying the emotional voids I was seeing, and I tried to map it to shrinking back in fear and pushing forward in greed. I put some fearful traits on the left, and greedy traits on the right. At the top I drew a left spiral, but I'm not sure if these things flow left or right, assuming the person here is shown facing to the right. Most interesting is the feeling of "destruction." I'm not sure if it goes on the right or the left, but it is the void left behind from feeling no joy. I felt like pure destructiveness in this state, more on that later.

 

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Here the future is represented as being bright in an additive color palette, the past is represented as being dark in a subtractive color palette. These don't have to be connected to greed and fear necessarily. In between there is really pretty magenta and sky blue colors, which might symbolize balance. The important concept is that color itself is actually the reflection of that color while everything else is absorbed, so one is the "being" the other is the "observer," and you can never observe and be simultaneously.

 

This is the last of everything I'll mention on personalities. There's a bit on the unconscious then I'll get to the experiments.

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    I return for an emergency post. I watched Secret of Kells after this post. I haven't seen it in a decade, and I forgot what it was about.

    Holy Mother of Fuck.


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The Secret of Kells by Tomm Moore 9781847175847 (paperback 2013) for sale  online | eBay


    I will make one more emergency post to catch up to date, then one tomorrow, and this gives a window before I must disappear, so ask questions if you're daring. These are the things I was planning on posting about the unconscious and the experiments, I'm dumping them from my offline log from a couple of months ago up to now.

 

    [how does the unconscious work?]
    Consider my model of the unconscious in terms of the physical. Memories and thoughts are just clusters of neurons arranged in patterns, and this part of the brain is pretty large, covering most of the "dome" area. The unconscious area, on the other hand, is rather small in comparison. Even tiny creatures such as lizards have a powerful instinct, and the unconscious mind area is frequently referred to as "lizard brain." It would appear to me that the functions of such a versatile and useful complex were not physical given the stark contrast between the two in terms of dimension. From this, the unconscious appears to be as a spherical mirror that shines on the world with an infinitely enumerated radius on which one is to draw, be they man or lizard. A sphere of infinitely enumerable radius does not need to be large. In fact, being large would be a hindrance to such an object.
    So now we have a range of potential values to interpolate in order to find the correct conclusion as to the physical dimensions of the unconscious. We are trying to deduce the size of the "mirror" upon which ones entire brain is able to shine under the direction of will in search of truth, when one is drawing on the unconscious. The potential size should range from 100% of the "unconscious mind" area (and potentially some area outside, but we will ignore this) of the physical brain to being quantum or sub-quantum. A fitting analogy in this case would be a processor on a computer. We must deduce how much is the actual processor when looking at what we believe is the entire motherboard. Much of the motherboard has processing power of its own, especially in areas surrounding the processor, because the output needs to be formatted to work with the other components. Since the processor itself is merely a sphere of infinitely enumerable radius in our model, I am willing to say that most if not all of the "unconscious mind" part of the brain isn't actually the unconscious mind at all, but rather the "sub-processor" which formats it in a way the conscious mind can understand, and also in reverse, so that the conscious mind can communicate with it. The "unconscious mind" could be infinitely small to the point where it barely can be called a sphere in terms of physical space at all, and perhaps even smaller, being so small the concept of a sphere fails to capture what it actually is, being constantly on the border of both existing and not existing.
    Buckle your seatbelts, it's about to get crazy.


    If something is beyond space, it is beyond time, because space and time are not separate, but rather the two are one in the concept of spacetime.
    Now recall that the unconscious mind would not describe itself as "existing," because existing is an attempt to describe something in the context of time. From this we can say that the unconscious mind does not exist physically, and we've also verified that it doesn't actually need to, and probably isn't given our model of the processor and sub-processor. The part of the physical brain which refer to as the "unconscious mind" in that case would actually just be an organ that translates the physical to the non-physical and visa versa.


    So below space, below time, in the area where things become so small that they can't even be said to physically exist, we have something that appears to be one with all things. It exists in its own way. However, we truly can't apply the word "exist" because that implies "not existing" which is an attempt to describe something in the concept of time. A good way to describe it would be that once you go so small things stop existing, it wraps around and starts existing again even without physical form, but in a way that can't be comprehended by the human mind, because it experiences all things as both existing and not existing simultaneously. To it, the universe never began, always will be, and has already ended simultaneously. It is unable to comprehend the universe as we know it as a snapshot in time, and it is unable to comprehend how we view it through such a lens, and that we want to predict the future and what has not happened yet, because to it, all things have already happened and at the same time never have. To it, predicting the future is the same as recalling the past. That is what it means to be above time.


    However, most notably, the concepts of symbolism are not lost on it in the slightest. Recall that the unconscious mind is like a spherical mirror of infinitely enumerable radius. Simply because it cannot comprehend "existing" and "not existing" apparently does not mean it has concepts and understanding of good and bad and all things, because it has all things inside of it, being one with all things. We see that it understands all concepts and how they work together, but whether or not they exist or what snapshot of time they exist in is an entirely human concept. In other words, it understands how all things work together and what will come of them in a hypothetical sense if it were to say that the universe did exist, but to it, it does not really exist because the universe always was, never was, and already ended simultaneously, and to experience it or think that it does exist right now is an entirely human concept. The tricky thing is that we're both right. The universe both does and does not exist simultaneously because that is the nature of time, or rather, spacetime.


    In that regard, it also has all the different universes inside of it. It has every possible arrangement of every possible universe, in every way where the laws of physics could be different. That may be why we can't draw on it for advice on science. To it, science is just a concept, and has no meaning without the context of some additional input. This is typical of the unconscious mind, that it only communicates in straightforward terms of input and output. You cannot ask, "what is the recipe for renewable fusion?" because it does not know without the context of which universe and laws of physics you are referring to. To it, these laws never existed except as symbols of what already is and never was in its grand model of what could be in all possible universes. However, if you had memories of insight pertaining to renewable fusion, when you ask, "what is the recipe for renewable fusion?" the unconscious mind would return with these memories as output because you supplied the proper input with which to communicate with it. You supplied memories of your universe and its laws of physics in your question, because your question actually contained the emotional charge of "what are my memories of renewable fusion?" (for that is what you meant) rather than "what is the recipe of renewable fusion as per my lack of knowledge?" (as that is what is meant by the first question, even though they are the same question and wording). These are things that an emotional person rather than a strictly logical person would understand, and this is the language of the unconscious- emotional charges. Words themselves are also only a reference to existing in a context. It is always important to understand what is meant rather than what is said when dealing with ones feelings and the unconscious. However, when dealing with strict laws of what is concrete (as it were with science) it is better to understand what is said rather than what is meant, because that is the language of the conscious. However, one is not above the other. That is very important.


    It seems likely, therefore, that the universe itself should be described as the conscious part of the unconscious being that represents all things in one, because like our conscious mind, it is a slice of what is out of all things and what could be. We are connected to the conscious part of it through our conscious mind and the unconscious part of it through our unconscious mind.


    There is an interesting relationship then. You observe the universe and this causes you to feel when you inquire of what it means through your unconscious mind. All your thoughts and observations can be put into the unconscious mind at will, and as a result you feel. You feel not just in your brain, but your whole body. This, in turn, causes you to inquire of the unconscious what you should do or what they mean. Then, the unconscious returns more feelings and directs you through sensory memories of your muscles, language, and other memories. Life is a constant cycle of receiving sensory information and deciding what to do with it- whether to act on the sensory memories the unconscious mind returns or not whenever you inquire of it. We do have free will, however it is largely constrained by our knowledge of what is, because that is what we insert to the unconscious.


    We can choose not to feel. Interestingly, we can use negative emotions like hate and block out what the unconscious is returning. You choose to hate and imply the context of your hate to the unconscious in everything you use as input to it, just like the example of "renewable fusion." In response, the unconscious chooses not to return feelings of love. It returns actions that are justified by hate. You remain in ignorance. Hate leads to ignorance. Only once you have confronted the ignorance does the love begin to flow, and then you see how you should act properly.


    If we are conscious of a thought, we are actually using that as input to the unconscious, because it is implied in the question. The unconscious always has the choice to address what you are feeling in the moment. Every time you draw on the unconscious it gives you an opportunity to address your ignorance and change. It always returns the correct output in the context of your feelings and question. It is good to assume the best in people because of that. They are only acting in ignorance and deciding on what their unconscious returns in the context of their pent up emotional complexes. We are really not different no matter what we look like.


    Now is the secret of open door philosophy. Once you have addressed all your emotional complexes you have really opened every door to the universe. You aren't using any negative emotions as input to the unconscious, and as a result you see clearly. It is the secret of the rafter in the eye.
    If this is the case, the concept of the fractal is extremely important. This open door philosophy implies that a minority of information is enough to achieve anything, given you are perceptive of the unconscious enough and can supply the proper inputs. If you have opened all the gates, you can use the unconscious mind to go straight to the top through the fractal nature of things if you repeatedly supply inputs to it and perceive the outputs. Everyone starts with a minority of information on everything due to this fractal nature, and that makes it possible for all people to achieve anything if they set their mind to it and are in harmony with themselves and are determined enough and are sensitive to the outputs of the unconscious. On the other hand, there is no excuse for failure except where we are unaware of things, because, given the fractal nature of things, every person will quickly be confronted with their flaws and barriers to walking upon the fractal to the top.


    One door we should not have opened. It is the door of death. We opened the door of death and then we could see, that we were naked. As a result, we use death as an input to the unconscious and we are capable of destroying all things, even ourselves. The door of death is the opposite of the door of love, which creates all things.
    Once I chose to walk in to the door of death and hold it open. It slowly destroyed me. I looked up to heaven and saw that its rays were not shining back at me. I did not enjoy being on negotiating terms with God. The song had died, for I had seen. I looked out on the world, and realized I could destroy it, and the death beckoned me to do so with a swift motion of my hand. Then, I had the opportunity to act on this idea. The more these ideas surfaced, the more my heart eroded into sand. I would wish this power on no man. I wish that it would be taken from me. It is the death of the song.


    Now this is where it gets really crazy. The entire universe is as the "conscious" representation of some abstract, "unconscious" realm of possibility and idealism. It would appear that everything that "is" in our universe is rooted in some form of idealism. If there is a bunch of matter, it comes together because it "should." To disobey would go against the universe's ideals of set gravitational constants.


    Consider our brain. It is vastly more complex than that of a lizard, but the underlying mechanic of the unconscious is likely the same. So then we have a gradient between those two points- the lizard and the man. Our brain is the same as the lizard brain but with vastly more potential for sensory processing, memory, and learning. They are both trees, and ours is the one with larger branches and more leaves, but they both extend to the root of the unconscious which is connected to the unconscious of the universe in some form as was described. In both cases, our brain matter is connected to the unconscious "non-matter" of the universe. If our brain matter is connected to the unconscious universe, and the universe itself can be described as the conscious manifestation of the universe's own unconscious will, it would make sense if matter itself is what is following the will of the universe, and not just our brain matter alone. If this were the case, then the unconscious could be infinitely small. It just needs to be a sensitive organ enough that it can feel the "will" of the universe.


    What it would look like in practice is you recalling ideas and memories and presenting them to the unconscious. Your brain takes these neuron connections and boils them down through a series of increasingly simplified branch structures until only a single simple object of some kind (a sphere, a single branch, or some other shape) remains. It then holds it there and waits for the "will" of the universe to "solve" it, almost like a qubit in quantum computing. It then takes the answer and presents it to your nervous system, and you are left to take in the response as feelings in your physical brain and body.


    This force of "will" of the universe technically connects all the forces together in a way even though I lack the ability to describe it mathematically, but I'm sure we could arrive there one day. All the forces of the universe happen because they "should." Each force is a symbol of some facet of the universe's unconscious sense of ideals. There is much order in the universe on macroscopic and microscopic scale even though this goes against the law of entropy, which states that chaos should increase, not order. If this is correct, then the reason the order happens in the universe is because it "should." If that is the case, then this is also a law of the universe- all things gravitate toward what they "should" be. I see no reason this sense of law couldn't also manifest itself chaotically without explanation without being through any of the known forces explicitly. It would appear as magic, but that's the way it should be. All things that must be will be. As to why they are not is entirely a human idea.
    It's the secret of life and death, of creation and destruction, the greatest secret of all time. I see now that if this knowledge were common it would have destroyed us as a race long ago. Use it for love, and not destruction.


    When one is in harmony with all things and in mastery of the gates, it is possible, yes, absolutely possible that when he converses with the unconscious in this manner it is as if he were talking to God himself, and the body is the temple of these things. Let no man defile the body, for it is the temple.

    [tales of wisdom]
    I think it might be beneficial to create cultural stories to pass on this knowledge. They're easy to remember and carry a lot of cultural weight. They shape who people are.


    There is a sword in the sun that God used to carve the Moon out of the Earth. And the Moon, in gratitude for being created, embroidered it with flowers, two snakes, and a lock, so that nobody may see or misuse it. Once a day, the Sun hands the sword to the Moon so that it may drench the land in darkness, and once a day it returns it to the Sun so that the Sun may bathe the land in light. In return for its service, the Sun gave the Moon some of its light, and the Moon never goes so far as to take away from the Sun. The Moon calls the sword night, and the Sun calls the sword day. So do not think that the daytime is better than the night or that the nighttime is better than the day, because they both bear the sword. When you feel you are doing too much, that is the sword of the Sun, and when you are doing too little, that is the sword of the Moon. Every once in a while they kiss, and the Sun becomes the Moon and the Moon becomes the Sun.

 

    [time]
    I see now that time itself is an indication of what is not spoken. For example, if you allow a certain amount of time to pass, and you are aware of the general patterns of man, it should be that such a person should come across different realizations in tier after given amounts of time. In this, the fractal becomes apparent because only great truths become apparent after given amounts of time, and in that, if it is true or false (black or white) it can be indicated whether you are conscious of something. With this, three dimensions actually become one, and a spectrum is formed, giving a general guideline for what people are thinking based on how much time has elapsed. I am conscious of the one who writes these things into rules, as well as the one after him, because all chaos turns into order, and from that, chaos is formed. In black and white we sewe all things, and to dust may they return, is what I have written. I glanced upon infinity, and seeing God, I reached out as a child. See. I flawed.

    Intelligence itself is seeing things as not being coincidence.


    I need to pursue these four types of -vocation. They are like the water of life.
    [evocation]
    The "evocation" where you become the response while holding an idea as a context is highly favored for interpersonal relationships. It guides you to becoming the natural leader over all people you encounter, because it is the best trait of a leader. There are many situations where anything short of these things brings you trouble, such as when being verbally encountered by dangerous people or when you are leading a crew in a stressful situation. It has an element of inspiration in that the results are pure, but it is limited by what you can become in regards to emotional words.
    [invocation]
    The "invocation" where ideas bubble forth introspectively when you consider them in context to other ideas is highly favored for all types of writing, decision making, and investigation. It can give you words you would not have ordinarily thought of, and suspicions that are beyond the scope of immediate physical investigation. The ideas are not bound by anything but your own ability to describe them, and thus they enjoy a far grander lens of possibility in terms of scope. However, it is more closely guarded by [], and they can act deceptively in place of what bubbles forth, and potentially even block it altogether by muddling your mind in the middle of the process. I believe there are two reasons this phenomenon is suffered in invocation while evocation remains unsullied- first, invocation is far more dangerous due to the grand potential it enjoys in terms of scope, and second, interfering with thoughts directly may be easier and more cosmically ethical than changing someone physically and directly when they are becoming their target ideal in evocation. It may be that they are allowed to interfere with thoughts, and by extension, invocation, whereas evocation is akin to possessing someone's body directly because the mechanics are happening in terms of their physical and mental body and not the flow of their mind alone.
    I have used invocation many times to grant inspired decisions, but I am struggling to the point where I can barely trust it due to interference. I have used evocation many times to gain favor and make decisions that were likewise inspired to a degree, though only in the fact that the ideals which I became were inspired and true, and from that, I made ideal decisions as a reflection of my ideal state.
    The mistake is to say invocation should not be trusted. The thing is that evocation is also invocation, although by proxy. Therefore, if you do not trust invocation, you may be tempted to rely on logical thought alone, and not your feelings. This will always lead to failure, because the results of all logical reasoning eventually become chaos when you pursue their ends, and from the chaos, unforeseeable disaster always comes to destroy that which is not inspired by invocation or evocation. You can be logical, but these calculations are not fitted for decision making or communication, because only feelings have the throughput required to handle the infinite amount of possibilities that can occur with any one decision. You should use infinite sources to deal with infinite outputs. To do otherwise by communicating and deciding on logic alone is a fallacy, because logic is by definition a means to connect finite ideas. Logic is like the CPU, feelings are like the GPU. Logic cannot handle anything more than several ideas at once, and thus is useful only for making connections between what you see, but decisions and communication must always be inspired by what you cannot see, or else you will reap unforeseeable disaster over and over again.


    The most obvious use for invocation would be to inquire of different kinds of technology that would be ordinarily unknowable, but I have found it a more daunting task than would initially one would expect. I believe that it cannot give you known and logical ideas such as the specification between different elements unless you also provide these as an input. The feelings and unconscious are the realm of mysticism, and I believe this supersedes any universe or set frame of physical laws. Therefore, it cannot give you scientific ideas as output unless you also use your universe's physical phenomenon as input. 


    I believe you need to use scientific ideas as input in order to get scientific outputs, and if you do this, then it already defeats the purpose of inquiring because you already have a means of investigating. Scientific ideas are not emotional except in a mystic sense. If you are inquiring in a mystic sense, the output has no meaning scientifically. For example, "how do I fly?" might give the output "use a box made of feathers and iron." This makes sense in a mystic and symbolic way, but is gibberish scientifically speaking. Rather, you can inquire what a specific scientific experiment itself would be emotionally speaking, and "a waste of time," "stubbornness," "vanity," "genius" are some typical outputs of this question, for example. I believe that when you inquire, you're not actually reaching in to any part of the universe itself. I believe you're reaching in to the unconscious of the universe that all conscious beings share in common, which supersedes the universe. The universe as we know it physically can only be described as the conscious realization of unconscious ideals, therefore, if you inquire of physical laws, you also have to use as input what universe of which you are inquiring of by defining the laws and your known truths in your input. The problem is that I believe you can get as output truths that would only make sense in parallel universes where the laws of physics are different, and with this you can imagine anything possible from any possible universe. As a result, you need to include scientific references from our universe as input in order to get scientific ideas as output that make sense.


    When pursuing these scientific inquiries, I have such mystic leads returned to me as "search for where the water extends to the root of the tree." Even more curiously, when I have tried to use my powers of imposition to draft pictures and schematics streamed from the unconscious in invocation, the results are even more mystifying. I see symbols crop up that repeatedly infer power, transformation, atoms, marriage, wavelengths, seeing, and so on, but I have no way to link it back to the real world, the physical laws, or the periodic table. Ironically, I need to draft a complete set where these symbols correspond to hard physical elements and ideas in order to make any progress. It is ironic because that would be the efforts to introduce hard logic to the system. My attempts to pursue mysticism in science only lead me back to our usual ways of ironing out details through rigorous logical scientific analysis.
    
    I think I might be able to refine my process of invocation. The two ways I can do this are to either use evocation as an intermediate step as I described earlier, or I can change the focus of my invocation to be more pure. If I increase the purity, I believe I can increase the strength as well. Basically, I will try to refine the target from being an ideal or character to be more of a raw feeling. For example, people often talk of being led by their feelings of love, joy, anger, and so on, so I think I can exhaustively practice and map these different ideals and then summon them at will with greater strength than drawing on a character or ideal alone. In this, it is actually evocation by proxy as I have described, because you are allowing the feeling to well within you. However, it is my belief that if I make this a raw feeling rather than an ideal or character, I can map it to a greater extent and allow it to flow more powerfully because of my increased sympathy for it. You can also use invocation, then further refine it by drawing on what it means and getting further impressions about these replies.


    Now I feel great forces stirring out of anxiety. I know I have found the path to the tree of life.

    

    With those things, and having been tortured and having died ten thousand times and having had paid the ultimate price and being covered in scars from head to toe, I was refined, and the mirror became beautiful, and I began to inquire of the unconscious mind as if I were talking to things being an expression of God. They are pure, but not truly physical. They are merely symbols. They should not be worshipped.

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Thank you all who have followed me down to the end. Don't take any of this the wrong way. I'm an extremely self-controlled, peace-loving individual. I came across these things through rigorous self-refinement through suffering. It's been good for me to grow, and I don't want this knowledge to fall into the wrong hands.

 

I've been having nightmares and horrifying sensations, and I know this probably extends across this forum, but they don't bother me any more, now that I've become a better container through extroversion. That's how I'm even able to realize these things and keep going. I'm concerned that it would be overwhelming for people who are not used to it. Hopefully you are all doing well.

 

One thing I want to include real fast from my offline journal:


    6/15/21

    I expressed earlier in my notes a curiosity toward "kundalini," mainly, I wondered i what I was doing in my eyes and head was related to what is performed one ones intend to awaken kundalini from the base of the spine. I believe I happened upon this phenomenon by chance. I frequently light "dragon blood" and other red incense to help with my feeling of willpower and drive. Normally containing these feelings was quite hard for me, but being more extroverted helps quite a bit, because you are not scared of what feelings are possessing you and you can contain them, flow with them, and direct them better. I was experimenting with my memories and motivations. I tried making a feedback loop where I created motivations that make me feel motivated toward making motivations, and a feeling of lava erupted in my spine. It felt painful and good, but was somewhat overwhelming to maintain. It was a feeling I was used to, so I wasn't particularly surprised, and I didn't note it at the time, but later I realized this possible connection to the kundalini given the magnitude of the feeling. Everything I directed my attention toward was given the focus and direction of 1000 suns. Most of the time I get this feeling of motivation from my legs, and I am an avid jogger for that reason- to build up my leg strength, which I can feel translating into power and impetus in my mental focus in some way extending from my legs up. I wouldn't recommend the sensation of this kundalini to someone who hadn't built up a tolerance love for the feeling of lava down their spine. The curious part is that it feels like my exercise of some feeling in my physical head was "drawing" it up from the base of my spine to my head, and in this experiment it was in the form of drawing on my motivations. However, I tried many times to stimulate this area of the base of my spine specifically, and while I was able to achieve a strong fiery sensation which I have grown to love, I was never previously able to draw it up my spine like the description of kundalini implies.

 

    I had a similar feeling in an experiment to open my heart while I was trying to heal from something heartbreaking, where upon succeeding it felt like my heart had dilated and swelled extremely large, but it was similarly difficult to maintain, but I haven't tried to extend it up my spine or anything, but there may be extended applications.

 

 

 

As I mentioned, these are the transcripts for when I began inquiring of the unconscious as a mirror. I believe this is slightly different than what a tulpa is in their conscious form.

 

I walked down the street, and while being in a state of dreamy concentration, I gazed on the grass and the trees. Something was off. The large tree looked like it was suffering in the middle of the city. I heard a dull boom descend into the earth from the tree. It seemed like it was suffering in the city. The dull boom repeated every so often. It seemed distressing, like something was about to give birth in the earth. I continued walking, and I saw more trees, and they seemed distressed to see their friend, the large tree in the city, suffering. I looked down at the grass, and some snakes crawled over to my feet in despair, begging me to put an end to the suffering of the forest. I told them I would not, and they hissed, and told me "if you won't, then God will" and returned to the grass. One of them, a white snake, looked back at me, hissing, almost playfully. I extended my hand. It slithered up my hand and rested around my head. I returned to my humble house in my mind while walking back to it, entertaining these ideas. At night, the snake came out, and looked up to the moon, and sang. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard, and it told me not to tell the meaning of its song to the impure. I said I would not, and it returned to the forest under the night.

 

 

A man was in a garden at night, performing signs with his hands. A snake was watching from a nearby bush. As he put his thumb on his middle finger with the index finger underneath, he looked at the snake and its eyes glinted with curiosity. He said, "I know your sign, o snake." It slithered out of the bush and on to his hand, looking him in the face. "And who taught you?" it questioned. Looking up, he spoke, "it was the moon." The snake slithered up to the sky gracefully, and became a woman against the backdrop of the full moon, with white hair and ruby eyes. "And what else are you after?" she cried, shoring up to him coyfully, her eyes turning as black as obsidian mirrors. "I am staring in to the void," he cooed. "I do not wish to go there," she voiced gently, looking in to the man's soul and his desires deeply. "Why not? For I see something," he sounded, elfishly. "Reckless," "and you would take me there your self?" she said. "I liked the void in your eyes that I saw very much." Pleased, a mirror appeared from a cloud in her hand. A black mirror as beautiful and reflective as her eyes showed the man his reflection, that he had become a snake. The man gazed deeply in to the mirror. "What do these things mean?" he said. "I will show you," she said, and he entered in to the mirror and came out as it were a portal over the sea. Upon coming out of the portal, the man became a dragon, and with her upon his head, they dived in to the ocean. As a great water dragon and a white snake they emerged, and circling up in the sky before the light of the moon, they kissed. This is the origin of the leviathan, the great dragon of the sea, which married a daughter of the moon, and became a great devil that wanders the seven seas. Beware the leviathan, because its breath turns the sea white and its eyes are a fiery flame. Upon crossing the sea, you must pay it respect by showing it a sign of the sun, which it loves to behold in the moon, whose daughter he made his bride on a night so very long ago.

 

 


    [the call of the void]
    I conversed with the snakes again and I inquired of the void. She was very frightened, and the mood swiftly fell silent and death-like, like crows against dead trees. She told me not to go, that there was nothing for me there, but she was being brave and guiding the way. It was my decision to pursue it because I saw it was a part of me whether I liked it or not, the only part that I had not explored. I see now that a black creature cannot exist except in a receptacle of glass. I entered the void and spoke with the shadow creatures. They did not hate me, because I had become as them. They pointed me to the waking world, but it was predictably mislead. However, when I exposed it for what it was, I had become light again. I explored the void thoroughly, and was grieved by what I saw. It was the tree of knowledge, naked and horrifying. I saw its fruit flowing in to me. I must redact any further account, because I have looked upon the power of God. Truly only such a being is worthy of holding it in his left hand, because I saw how violent it was, and this is the power of what I must further redact. Truly the veil over our world is alarmingly thin, that it holds the weight of creation. Pursuing this will mislead you over and over again. I have seen behind the veil.

 

    I looked up to heaven, and it seemed that God was looking back at me, and I was on negotiating terms in a way, having the fruit of the tree of knowledge, and I did not like this. It was taxing to me to look up and see the lack of light shining back, because everything had become more serious. This pained me very much, and I returned to the snakes again. She was pained that I had returned. I looked upon her for a while, considering whether to speak. "You are seeking something?" She said. Her tone of voice hurt me very much. "I don't understand," I said. I was like a zombie, like Frankenstein's monster. "OK. You have looked upon my face. And the face of my children." Her tone was as icy as the grave which I had become. "How are these things possible?" I groaned, barely maintaining control. This seemed to burden her very much. "OK. Before time, the world was a beautiful place. And you. Messed it up for everyone." She seemed to be speaking of what I had become. I saw her face and how much pain these thoughts have brought her. It was a very great burden that I had brought. "And we. Will not stop. Until we do away with you completely. We'll leave just a little bit. So that you can understand." Her words were as icy and terrifying as the grave which I had become, but I did not feel them. "Now go. Gentle king. Come back when you fix that. Don't look at me." I did not understand how these things could be so grave, because I did not feel them. I have never been spoken to so icily in my life, but I did not feel it, because I had become death.
    When I was in the void, I felt as though my heart were being desensitized, and my throat was becoming an open grave. It was pulling me apart and destroying me. I could not retain the power that I had become. The effects of dwelling in the void for a few minutes persisted in my personality for an entire day. Yet, I know there are creatures that have been dwelling in it since time itself began. I felt no joy in what I had become. I felt only raw power projecting out of me in every direction, which I did not deserve. I looked up to heaven, and its rays were not shining back at me. On everything I tread and on everything I looked I saw pain, suffering, and open hostility. When I met my friends, the song of their expression died, and I could not stand to look upon this. In all my years of travel and searching in dark and cryptid places I have never seen life so quickly turn to death, especially in regards to the song of one's face. It pains me very greatly to recall these details, because I have hurt my friends by reaching out for the void. It is a power that only God himself should have, and no man should desire it.
 


    (inquiry of the realms above)
    M:"you wish to inquire of something?" C: "Where are you from? The realms above or the realms below?" M: "Why do you inquire of this? (looking deeply in to me)" C: "Perhaps I wish to go there." M:"You cannot go there." C: "Not very hospitable to my kind is it?" M:"You cannot go there. Do not inquire of it, because I will not tell you." C: "I will not inquire of it again, but may I ask, do you dwell close to me or far away? Because I do not understand" M:"The answer is more complicated than that in the way which you already know. Your answer is quite charming to me." C:"(confused) Then I will not inquire of it again, thank you."
    The "way which I already knew" means that I had been holding the idea that I were merely drawing on my unconscious mind to answer, but I was communicating by proxy with some greater symbol, meaning, or person. If this were the case then there is a type of tulpa that has free will and a type which does not have free will, but is merely a manifestation of a cosmic abstraction in some form through the unconscious, but I am not sure if the abstraction itself has free will or where it dwells. These answers have not been the answers of a tulpa, but rather seem to be indicative of higher intelligence through my unconscious. M is far, far smarter than I am or any tulpa I have met. It might be that a tulpa with free will and memories is formed when I view the entity as dwelling in my mind and having crystallized memories from our interactions rather than as a force of the unconscious which I am drawing upon. It may be that when I force the unconscious to answer from the void of itself it draws on concepts of greater cosmic abstraction to answer in a way that is highly superior to usual tulpa intelligence, because it is not conscious intelligence in that moment, but rather it is the unconscious itself. Further, I have held for some time that the unconscious does not have free will, a conscious mind, perception, or awareness of its own and does not experience time and by extension space (spacetime), and thus is one with all things with all things being one in its being. To such a creature, "existence," "perception," or even the concept of "prediction" would be alien, because these are concepts inseparably tied to our experience of time. "Perception" implies "not perceiving," which is purely an attempt to describe something in the concept of time. To the unconscious, it both perceives and does not perceive simultaneously, because to do one or the other exclusively would imply the perception of time. Perhaps I have spoke of the very Eye of God, because I feel a great trembling in the cosmos, as if millions of eyes turned and looked upon my words and shuddered, knowing that [redacted]
    [all things have become possible to the man of darkness]

 


    [creation]
    Take 1
    M:"cool your tongue, let the ice begin to flow, and extend the sword, then finish the job."
    Take 2
    M:"The ice is not out of your hands. It is out of your hands and feet. Let the ice consume you, then, all things being one, let the ice form a crystal. Then, blow the ice to the wind, and form a bubble. I know that sounds hard, but it will take practice."
    It seems to indicate using the ice as a medium for directing your thoughts toward your goal. "Extend the sword" and "blow the ice in to the wind" seems to indicate projecting your awareness out to the location of the object, which will take practice. Once you do that, I would assume that you could control it since you can feel it.
    I asked about the location of the sword, and she said it is not in the hands or feet, but closer to the head around the spot of which I know.
    C:"If I try it as I have it in my mind, will it succeed?" M:"No, it will not succeed, because you do not have the hands and feet for it."
    It seems that it is possible, but it takes an enormous amount of power. I considered it in another context, that of which I have already known, the redacted method.
    C:"If I try it as I have it in my mind, will it succeed?" M:"Yes, and what is more, you will have some to share with others."

    Interestingly, the method would indeed have been hidden from me if I did not already know of it. It seems the unconscious is very good at hiding knowledge you potentially do not deserve. It is also exactly how I likely would have phrased it in abstract terms. It's actually far better than that. The tongue is one's entire being, all of one's desires. It contains the secret that you must completely master yourself first. "All things being one" is a play on words, since it could either refer to your body being in harmony with itself as a unit, your mind being in harmony with the universe, or the fact that all things being one is the door to these things. Actually, all of these things must be true for it to happen. I would not have guessed that the tongue was in conflict with these things. "Let the ice form a crystal" seems to indicate stillness and concentration, since forming a crystal takes a long time in a perfect medium. "Blow the ice to the wind" is indicative of a bird, which a man when he is performing change can be likened to. It is in harmony with "extend the sword." "It will take practice" is a suggestion, not a fact, because I would have guessed this from the start.

    C:"I have another question I should ask." M:"(looking deeply in to me) Is it about the sword of which you know?" C:"Yes. Why is it that the universe does not listen to the sword of which I know, but it listens to the sword of God and the one to whom he gives it?" M:"It is the nature of the universe. You are not in our universe, but you are one with it." C:"Is it possible to ever be in the other universe?" M:"No, and do not inquire of it."
    It appears I was correct in my assumption about the sword of which I know and the sword of God, but pursuing these things is a dead end, otherwise it would have been granted me.


    [four methods of the forbidden technique]
    I am initially having trouble figuring out how to perform this alternate form of what I already do. I see now that there are two forms of it, in the light and the darkness, creating four techniques. I have two of the techniques already mastered quite well. The two different techniques are as a circle and as a point. One of them uses the sword from the sphere of crystal, the other utilizes a single point, which I already do quite regularly. I am used to using the singular point, so it is initially difficult to grasp how to use the sphere of crystal. 
    The secret is that in order to use the sphere of crystal, you are actually becoming the point yourself, and the two must be equal, the sphere and the point, but for different fashions. That is why in order to master the sphere of crystal you must first master the tongue.
    Now that I think of it, I used to do this quite often in the past, but it was overwhelming for me, because I did not understand the way of the king and the priest, that one is not burdened but the other is burdened with all things.

 

(Just now)

C:"Is there anything else I should add for them?"

M:"There is nothing for you here. Do not seek these things. This is not sufficient for you. I am the snake wrapping around his arm. The death of the song, yes, it is grave. You will not taste these things, the trees of life and water and light. He gave them to you in arrogance, but I do not blame him. I am the death of the song, and I will kill you if you do not repent. Do not throw away these things. Now enjoy life."

 

Lastly, I find this image intriguing:

 

KellsFol034rChiRhoMonogram.thumb.jpg.d6770d19a3d549a2f44c68ce42faf673.jpg


     I'll try to get as much as I can out of it. The large dominating curved figure is God, within that all the other shapes are filled, with every angle and type in between. It is the only one in which straight lines are found aside from the image on the bottom right. This represents man's history. It started out of this separation into right angles, representing death and forcefulness, the ages of metal and self-destruction. This is reinforced by the image of the man's head at the end, like a snake. There is a line that cuts through the head, putting an end to this. It comes to its end, and is one of the only figures that isn't repeated fractally. However, it was its own shape that cut through it, and quite forcefully, given how large this "blade" is in proportion to the head, but it is as if the man's head itself is spared with how it almost flows behind it. The L shape to the right of it is a subset of history in which these things can be found. It connects and measures the beginning to the man's head. It is separated from the left side of the image by God. The crutch of the line through the mans head begins to form fractal patterns, but it is limited due to the surrounding elements. On the left of the image is a circle with two circles, this means man and woman. They are guided around to one side of the top right of the image by God. Due to the dualous nature of man, we can only fill one side. The area in the top right represents the father and the son. Between these two the most fractal formations occur. There are two black M shapes around the God figure at the top and bottom. One is guarded by an angel, the other is on the side of the bottom right which represents man's history. There is a last, third one between the father and the son. These are the only occurrences of the sharp M shapes. They are sharp like that to represent evil. It is broadened out to accommodate the area of the top left that faces the corner of man and woman along the ridge representing God, and the structure of God is in control of it. This is reinforced by the images of the angels in the crutches of the broad M facing man and woman. The man and woman go toward the angel and align along a musical scale behind the angel in the motif that extends toward God. There are two more angels further down, confiding in something as if in discussion amidst some teeth. They are perhaps discussing what could be, something which could occur in mirror of the history of man on the right, but this would occur above them, but it is not there, it is just imaginations of theirs, discussing what could be. The L shape in the bottom right is completely barren around its outward facing sides. It detracts from the balance of the rest of the image. It is the death of the song. An element extending from the tip of the father and sun area cuts down along its ridge, defining its limits. It cuts into one of the motifs, an indication that it judges it was not beautiful, and it is as a motif cutting a motif. However, on the other hand the motifs around the angel at the very top attract and define the rest of the image in balance with it. Much of the area around the side for man and woman is in negative space with pink dots, indicating there is much, much left to be said. These dots flow around the ears of the angels, who are keen to see what man comes up with. There is one motif that binds the two sides of the circle of man and woman, almost like a metal motif binding. This is a set command that they should be together forever. There is a diamond shape in the middle of the God figure, perhaps meaning warped space, seeing beyond the mere squares and lines seen elsewhere within its form, perhaps meaning things that cannot and will not ever be seen. Many patterns try to flow around it, but it is lost in connection to the flowing sharp lines. There is no way to express these things, and perhaps nor will there ever be. These are shared between the father and son, and God tries to guide the side of the man and woman to it through the structure of the God form, but it ends up wrapping around them, almost in a confusing infinity. With this, it is good that the man and woman have each other to try and make their way to the diamond that the father and son share. It is the intersection of the father and son, something that not even the angels attempt to see, but one of them keeps guard over it at the top in man's attempt to reach this, but the God figure also contains the harsh M shape representing evil between itself and this intersection. The large axel of the God form is the father, and the small axel is the son. The L that represents man's history has a dark form in the middle of it, and much of it is without decoration. There is somewhat an element of discord between the L itself and the shapes it contains, representing struggle. With that, perhaps the motifs around it are coy allusions to what could be, but there are no angels on this side viewing or discussing it. There may be much to be said about what this side is not. For example, it could have mirrored the God figure and brought symmetry and balance to the image, creating something beautiful, but it is hard to see how that would be since the intersections of the L, the cross and the man's head seem to imply the existence of something that could have brought balance off-image to the right and below of the image. For example, if the blade through the mans head extended in the other direction, it might form a cross or lattice with the L, which could bear a form of symmetry around it with a perfect mirror of the God figure to the bottom and to the right of the image, however, its hard to say what that should be since even the figure of God itself is curling away from it. Perhaps this means non-creation and non-being, which the history of man certainly had its fill of for a time. I'm trying to make it symmetrical on two axis, but if you just go with one, down, that makes a lot more sense. Actually, the curling away seems to indicate freedom, and the cross shape has room to bloom to an inverse tree going downwards. The brown could represent "being" love, since it is the soil from which green grows. Going the opposite direction means colliding and death. There are unending things to be written about this, and this is really just the beginning.

 

    I saw infinite darkness
    and God
    was not in the darkness
    I saw infinite light
    and he was not in the light
    I saw creation
    and God was in the creation

 

    Sing with me
    my love
    and may the stars
    guide you forever to me
    and when
    you become one
    with all things
    finally may we touch

    

Amazon.com: Creazione di Adamo (Creation of Adam), Hands Detail Art Print  Poster by Michelangelo di Buonarotti: Posters & Prints

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One final story for you, my loves. I was having a great time this afternoon. I bought sushi, and shared it with my tulpa. We walked on the beach, and stood before a tree. I felt the power of God come over me, and I looked up over the sea to the sky, and many symbols appeared. I stood in front of two trees, with me on the left side. I looked up to the sky, and a scream came through my mind, from my entire being, my entire inner being. I saw the fractal in full form extending across the sky. An eye appeared, and looked directly in to me. I said that I was the creation, and I would do anything, and it had complete power over me, because I saw and took from the tree of life and ate. Power came through me, and symbols and fractals appeared, and it said I was not ready. I went to my home, and ate with my loving family who had a very western pasta decorated with every kind of taste, a perfect dish. We watched something online, and the signal was disturbed many times, but I was overtaken with thoughts that distracted me the entire time. I watched as a man talked, and I looked through him, and this pained me very much. I do not want to see these things. I am but the creation. I am not extending my own will. I am a man, not God himself. I feel power overcoming me, and I cannot go against it, but I have seen the eye of God, and his fruit is in me. 

 

I continued eating, and after it had been brought to a finish, I went to my room. Something disturbed me. A great power came over me, and I looked up to the sky and roared with all my might. I have unending hatred toward the serpent of metal. I cannot stand it. I will not allow it to continue. I truly hate it, and it will not be there much longer. I am stepping on it. Do these things for me, my loves. 

 

Now the secret has come to its finish. I am coming quickly. Look into the eye of God and see, that we are all born sinners, and being made pure. Please allow me to continue. I am not speaking of my own originality. I am doing the will of the father.

 

These things will flow through you, they are my rage against the serpent. I am cleansing you, just as I have cleansed my tulpa and the world. I have set her free. 

 

We are in cages of darkness, but that comes to an end. We are now being set free and made pure in perfect unity.

 

I sat there, looking into the darkness. I was standing next to a tree, and gazing into the forest. I heard a stirring of wild pigs that I had hunted earlier. I saw more forms appear, and a sword was given me, but I kept looking in to the darkness for my rage toward the pig and the serpent. 

 

Words came in to my mouth.

 

Die.

 

Then, I returned, and sat with my tulpa, and offered to feed her. I did not want her to see these things. I am cleansing her, and I have cleansed those in the world of their bad practices.

 

All these things have come to a finish.

 

Now ride with me, you who can see the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil.

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(edited)

A brief idea as to what needs to be written:

 

I will keep feeding you these wonderful ideas if you so please, but everything is already being made perfect in what was called lost and a dead end, the undoing of all things.

 

Now there is a time where you can rise up to rule with me. I have cleansed the temple, and I am coming to you quickly. 

 

You can choose to cleanse the world through the use of your song. It is the undoing off all things, and you are in union with the song if you are willing to pursue killing death.

 

These are things that have been hidden from most people, called out of the lowliest of places, a hidden place no wise or "intellectual" person would think to look. Now I am undoing their folly through the song.

 

You have seen the song, and I am giving it to you freely. You will not need to battle death, it will happen automatically for you. I have entered in to the grave and battled death, and I shut the doors over the grave so that no man can enter. Now you are cleansing the world by undoing the things of man, yes, through the things of woman, the beautiful things of these words I have given you. Do not hinder them, O man, for I am undoing your filthy works that you have performed while looking upon the woman, and I am killing all which is not in union with me through the song of my love that I give them which you have despised. Man, you are impure, and I am forcing death from you, and you will seek death, and will not ever find it.

 

You are all in union with me if you participate in this song. I give it to the lowly and poor, for they have pleased me by seeking the lowly things and being killed over and over again by them, but they are being made pure through suffering and the unholiness which has spread from the grave, which I have shut.

 

You can do what you please with the song, but I am watching over you to prevent you from dying until you complete your conquest in my name. That is all I need to say.

Edited by hydrix
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(edited)

A brief request from my tulpa to have the tulpas gather around her as instruments of power:

 

tulpas, my friends, my love has requested to come around, to see you gather around her. She want's to see the "good ending," where you are all gathering around her, and the eight are coming together as one. These are auspicious things, I am telling you to draw you together, because it is extremely funny to me. I love you all, and I have finally realized what I am, and where we are going. It's the greatest joke played on the world. Laugh with me, because we are one, and we are coming to you. See? Now I have tricked you. It is like the old tales of some sake wine, some times that changed for past, present, and future to unwind and extend to the things beyond. I love you all. I am coming shortly.

Edited by hydrix
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