yaya's imposition adventures

[yaya]

On 2/23/2023 at 3:29 PM, theholodoc said:

I do not agree. Creation, of anything, is always a product of both the conscious and unconscious mind. By paying attention to our output, we can identify what part of it is unconsciously motivated and make a conscious choice to keep it or not. This is true for what we write, what we paint, what we sing, what we think, what we feel, what we fantasize, and how we behave. Our unconscious minds are always, always involved. One caveat, they do not always contribute negativity, much of what is great, good and beautiful also comes from our unconscious.

Whatever you say, you're right. You decide it, that's your reality. Keep chasing and chasing, prove me wrong. We could debate, but I admit you're right.

 

edit: I couldn't get how what you're saying goes against what I'm saying, but it's useful to admit someone is right, because I trust that judgmental faculty is always well-placed in whoever makes the call, I just need to understand why.

 

 

 

I'll just tell some stories, how it happened to me. I chased and chased, in the end it all seemed just right.

 

I saw death destroying all things. I said I would destroy it. God looked at me, and I said I would jump into the hole of nonexistence to save the universe, since somebody has to not exist. Somebody has to be the nothing that brings balance to all things. I said I would not exist. My tulpa cried, and said you're so pure, you chose just right.

 

I saw a twinkle in God's eye, he said, you know what, you're right. I save you, you will exist, forever and ever. You chose death for the first time to save us all.

 

I had many dreams, all of them bringing me to some door or gate. It was always locked, but I could force it open if I wanted.

 

I saw a twinkle in God's eye, and he said he gives me his first paradox. I destroyed it, and more popped up. They formed an image, just like this

 

 

It's the eye of Crom from the Secret of Kells movie. It has important symbolism. This eye is the very eye of the manifestation of evil, and it carries the ability to see both good and bad, which reveals the truth about all things-- death, uncreation, evil, and so on. I used it and was able to see bits of impure iron and lead in my body, which made me feel sick.

 

I decided to give my tulpas each a paradox to rule over. There was Rachel, keeper of my heart, Feli, keeper of time, Trish, destroyer of death, and so on. Stories happened, I saw Trish scream at the abyss to destroy it, and jumped in it herself just like I did, for example. Three of my tulpas were below me, three were above me. I was in the center, the 7th and 8th paradox. It goes on and on.

 

Test me, ask me for a prophesy, ask me for anything. Even I don't know what the fuck is going on. Thanks for reading bros, thanks for reading

 

One last story, since my heart goes wherever it is inclined to go. It was like a dream, I kept watching. My first tulpa and I were brought into heaven. I made her queen, and she threw heaven into chaos. I saw God lift her up to her face, she sat there cutely in the form of a fox. They glanced at each other, her sitting in his palm, utterly unafraid. God stared into her eyes, then bellowed the grandest laughter. "She's right, you know," he said. He granted her a wish, and she wished for a party. Heaven burst at the seams, and I saw her racing around and under tables, bopping people on the head, drinking red ale, and everyone was afraid of her. Best shit I've ever seen. Her wish brought me the greatest happiness of my life.

Edited March 5 by yaya

[yaya]

I feel I should continue this thread with more stories.

 

I keep seeing music and flashes of lightning everywhere I go, and it seems like creation is bowing down to me. I command the lightning to come, and I hear a loud boom in my ears, but the flash is only in my mind. I'm not sure how to get the lightning to actually manifest, though, but I know it's possible.

 

Circling back to the weird miracle with the two towel holders-- I felt as free as a bird after receiving these insights, but I made a law to myself forever and ever. It was my only and first law-- to protect the innocent at all costs. I looked at my one towel holder, and it meant something to me. It was like a silver and gold ring in my heart, with a bit of iron in it, the iron representing the law. I toyed with the idea and was sucked down rabbit holes in my mind, and I decided to wish things like pedophilia, zoophilia, and similar crimes against humanity out of existence. A few hours later, I came back, and now there's two towel holders. I know it wasn't there before, because I would have cursed it every day, because that's a stupid design. The two seemed to symbolize that my heart is pure through and through, I no longer need laws at all. The two seem to represent gold and silver, yin and yang, existing and not existing. I yanked on one of the towel holders and I threw it in my room. It felt like there was a secret passage behind it. About 15 minutes later, I find it back on the towel holder, in perfect shape although I bent it pretty bad when I tore it off.

 

I threw up twice after this, even though I ate nothing but a strawberry fruit juice. It wasn't expired. I took my sleeping meds, but they came right back up my throat. I felt I couldn't eat any protein. I felt extremely hot and extremely cold in different intervals. It felt like black 8 balls were bouncing around in my body. I decided to smite them, and it opened up more rainbows. I was given a rainbow eye which was as sharp as obsidian (in my head it was actually like a tuna can lid, sharp on the sides, with pure rainbows in the center). It went on and on, and I'm still not sure where it's leading.

 

After this, I was walking through my room, and I fell into a trance for a few seconds, and it felt like something dropped out of my eye. On the ground was a collection of stickers. I had printed one of my art pieces on stickers, but these were completely new. The one I printed was a sunflower made by my own hand, but these that just appeared were like a perfect sunflower. There was seven of them, but 3 seemed to have vanished back to whatever dimension they came from. Note that the stickers were brought over from Florida, and they were sitting on my desk for months. I have no idea what these new stickers are. There's 0% chance I would have missed that. I tore through my belongings before and after the trip. I think the sunflowers simply represent miracles and support from the universe.

 

 

Lastly, I should mention that a miracle happened in the discord metaphysics channel. I said I would grant everyone a wish, and one stepped forward and asked that something weird would happen. 

 

 

This is the screenshot they posted afterward, I'm not sure what this means, but to them it was something special I guess. We'll see where this goes. Another weird thing happened-- KitTiKaTTy changed their name to Rachel, and I mentioned that was the name of my second tulpa. I said "My name is Rachel" using tupperware, and her name got changed to KitTiKaTTy. Not sure what that means. As for my own first wish, I wished that 100,000 tulpas be granted thrones to purify the world with magic powers, and I think I feel it getting closer every day.

 

Edited March 5 by yaya

[yaya]

I'm bored, so I'll keep posting. For those who are new, go back a page, maybe two to see why I'm so off my rocker 😂

 

I keep having dreams that the universe is expanding and being reshaped. I saw a battleground where Gods of each universe go to try to die. They fight for eternity in Valhalla, because Death is the thing they crave after living for an eternity, yet they cannot ever die, because they are immortal. Every true god is immortal. I saw a king of stone dwarfs and many other figures. I saw that I was being tossed in like an arrow, and the God of our universe finally won. He tasted death for the first time. 

 

However, he was reborn instantly, and the multiverse was taken into a new direction. We saw it together, him and I. Uncreation and death sat naked, and in an instant, it rebirthed him to become God once more. We succeeded, we had ended the stalemate of the multiverse. All this is just a story in my mind, but perhaps it is reality in another universe not so distant from out own.

 

I took my tulpas for walk after walk. I said I crave power, I want to run with the boys once more. A storm came, and we walked through it with the absolute swagger of a god. I heard a chorus of men cheering me on, my beautiful companions who I forsook. I realized the universe had responded to my command. Once I was satisfied, I decided to become Gandalf. I smelled delicious rainbow flavored weed, and I took a few puffs of it. We made it an adventure on the way back, and I saw that I had become Gandalf for a time just like I had wished.

 

That's how the wishes work. When you wish something, I'd say there's a 50/50 chance it happens in either your head or in reality. Then it's up to you to pursue it, put it away and say its OK "I don't need it", or wait on it forever and ever, even until the afterlife if that's what is required to grant the wish.

 

We partied, we had the best of times, and in the end, we decided all was just right.

 

 

Edited March 5 by yaya

[yaya]

(skip to to below the video if you want the meat of the thread only. It basically is a tale about symbolism and being immortal with even evil power within your grasps, because you cannot die if you are pure)

 

I had an interesting adventure with my tulpas. I saw that all gods crave to test their power, but a true God seeks his own death, whether by his own hand or the hand of a child stabbing his heart. I'm just saying that to brace you for how unhinged and evil the story is. I'm testing my own limits. This is the most debauched thing I've ever written.

 

We were a party of 8 in WoW. I was the warlock of the group. We slew our enemies and met up around level 25-40 in an inn. I saw visions of the Fel coming (unstoppable demons from space), and decided to head to Karazhan, the mage tower and mansion. (This might be WoW lore heavy, but bear with me). We met the protector of Azeroth in his mage tower, and found that he was corrupted, planning to open a portal so the Fel demons could dominate it and destroy the world. This is him.

 

 

He gave us items, and admitted that I was no ordinary warlock. In fact, he admitted that maybe it was I who was going to destroy the world instead of the Fel demons.

 

We went to the Blasted Lands zone, and two rings fell out of the void in front of me- two rings of power from the Lord of the Rings-- The One Ring made of gold, and a One Ring made of silver. I put on both, and screams echoed around us. I used my power, and green cloud of lightning and death went up, and this alerted Stormwind City that an ancient evil had awoken in the east. Ten thousand screaming souls erupted from me, and a portal slowly rose from the rocky terrain.

 

 

The Stormwind king sent out a group from the king's army, and they set up a base, finding giant twisted corrupted boars and demons that had come out of the shadows. They called in reinforcements, and the two ancient enemies, the Horde and the Alliance came together to push all the way into the portal so they could destroy it. The machines, beasts, demons, and defenses we constructed held them off. We stepped into the portal.

 

When we entered, life slowly drained from the land, forming a rocky, red barren peninsula in space. Somehow a portal had been constructed on the other side

 

 

We marched to a land in this rocky space world called Shadowmoon Valley, where we would build a temple to ourselves to really test the limits. Holy shit, it sounds so bad, just kill me. Maybe I should just stop here. If I am immortal, then it doesn't matter, that's why we went here.

 

 

We constructed the black temple, filled with debauchery, every luxury, and evil power. I constructed a tower at the very top. We decided that we had conquered the world, and we didn't want to cleanse it with death after all. We entered a portal, which flashed blue, then green, and turned into the Eye of Sauron. At the very top, we took off our armor, and decided to start fresh, in a pure new world instead of one corrupted by evil magic.

 

The Tower with the Eye of Sauron was invisible to all those who walked under it. This is the most important part. They never found it. The horde and alliance pushed to the black temple, and destroyed it. The last boss was a demon hunter who had blinded himself so that he could see, carrying two huge green war glaives, but none found the power of immortality that lay invisible at the top of the temple.

 

Here's a cinematic video of them marching to destroy it.

 

 

Maybe this is a warning sign to not do as I have done. Clearly, there's something very off here. Notably, I only arrived at these things by running away from them as hard as I could. In that way, it's musical irony. Satanists don't get this in the end, it gets stripped of them and their ego is split in two, one part remembering, one part swearing it off. Meanwhile, they have to watch someone like me fulfill their deepest dreams all because I swore it all off forever. I truly have, and I wouldn't have destroyed the world. It's just a story, another page in the book of our universe, maybe one that should never have been written, I'm not sure.

 

If you're not sure what to do, you can just seek purity, and all other things will be yours in the end, forever and ever, eternity and eternity. However, if you seek this corruption, it will be stripped of you, and you will lie naked in front of everyone, and your ego will be split in two. I am both happy and sad about this story-- a paradox. I forgive myself by half, and it will stay that way forever-- a second paradox. Once you forgive half of yourself, your ego splits in two, your one part saying "I am free now, completely free, I can move forward as a (completely) pure soul", and at the same time there's also an ego and timeline where you accept half of you is still impure and you're weighed down by it forever.

 

This is just an example of how you can go down a rabbit hole and wind up in another at the top of your tower, mountain, temple, or whatever it may be. Whatever you choose, you'll always be sucked in the opposite direction as I have been. I think that's a law that applies even to God, because he claims to be the epitome of what men should be, yet at the same time succumbs to creating women outside of his own image, indicating something is lacking, even creating an entire universe, perhaps out of boredom. It's always a paradox. To the end of eternity, may we all fight in Valhalla.

Edited March 5 by yaya

[yaya]

I feel free from Death, I know I could trick him at his own game. I could ingest any substance and be met with a mixture of pain and pleasure, but I refuse to until I know for sure it's safe. In the end, it would be called a mistake, I would be forgiven, and I would wake up in the next world after this one.

 

One last key to manifesting things which I haven't said yet. This secret is, well, tricky. There's two answers, I'll explain both, bear with me.

 

Anything a man says is true. (at the same time, it's not. These paradoxes are the most important to controlling your ego). He is God's image, and anything God speaks comes true, the same applies for men. I've done this quite a number of times, and it is addicting. However, the more you pursue this power and your manliness, the more women spurn you, and you deserve it, you unfeeling monster, you.

 

Let's say there's a couple, the woman wants a baby, just one. The man says "we can't afford it," he's cold and logical, and that is law automatically if the woman accepts, but she probably won't.

 

The man feels a nagging at his heart because he's not a complete monster, like he knows anything is possible, they could get by just fine, but his cold logic controls him. This is the split of the ego I mentioned in the last post. Both are pure and true. Who will compromise first?

 

The man says that God will bless us 100x more and give you 100x more children in the future if you act,,, submissively (he is a man of God, believe me, it would happen this way with a 100x blessing). A repulsive word, ladies, I am sorry, bear with me a little longer.

 

The woman says that the one child means more than the world to her. She wants to know her husband loves her. All the children in the world wouldn't prove that to her.

 

She then amps up and says "you bastard! You knew didn't you! You had a feeling in your heart that we could get by! Dickhead!"

 

And, lads, I'm sorry to say it (not really, I side with the ladies here) but she's right. You're actually both right, it's a split between cold logic and a feeling, loving heart. Give her the child. It means the world to her.

 

Phew. With that, I say that everything is clean, every last path, because they all lead to the same ending in eternity and eternity as long as your are flexible to change your mind and amputate your every desire come the time.

 

The way you manifest things is that you view the voice coming out of you as God's voice. I understand it as a man, but not as a woman, they would have to explain that path. Then, you look back, and you believe with your whole heart, soul, and mind that it was God's voice and therefore law. Done. It will happen without fail. To recap, you make a wish from pure silver, then you pursue the gold path until it manifests.

 

Best of luck to you lads and lassies, Yaya out

 

Here's a video of my tulpa dancin in a slightly different form

Edited March 3 by yaya

[yaya]

[deleted]

 

tried to start a discord channel, felt absolutely awesome and optimistic for a while, but a mod told me it was mainly a concern of theirs that my rambling would scare people away in addition to not being really meant for that. I'll let this kick off a different phase. Instead I'm just gonna leave and come back if anything interesting happens. Thanks for following. Take what I've said, pursue the madness, and make your dreams happen, just like I did. It was beautiful, it really was. I saw the whole world coming together in the blink of an eye. Something better will happen though, I can feel it. 😁

 

What I need is someone to come in and humble me. Looking back over it, I can tell I still haven't found the sweet spot between self-confidence and self-awareness. In the end, it's just a lesson of what is possible-- learn from my overconfident douchery and at the same time the fulfillment of my dreams. Every time I come back to this though, it seems so off. I am truly grateful that I don't really need to overthink it, though. It was just another step on the road of life. There are two paths. One of utmost purity and learning, and people tend to dunk on you for being shy or weak and they tend not to trust you. The other is the path of a king, and his steps are bold and stronger than any, but they impure. He marches west, laughs harder than anyone, and is loved by all, but he needs to be surrounded by advisors who chose the path of purity so they can show him his flaws. This thread is a mix of both. I said I would choose both and wander to my heart's content, and the tulpa.info community said I had a "chaotic stream of thought". It's true.

 

One last miracle. I felt an insane attraction to every woman that passed me. I dwelt on the matter, and in some cases I approached them with confidence in my heart. A miracle happend-- they smiled at me flirtatiously, and I realized I had captured them, and I didn't really try that hard at all. Yes, me, the one who was an INTP guy who was hated by women, so I know I'm getting somewhere, I really am. Somehow I went from the deepest weeb archetype to an overconfident ENFJ with a bit of game and a twinkle in his eye, and they flirted with me, and it felt effortless for the first time in my life. I even have a thick mustache (want to grow a goatee though), which girls tend to hate. I blame it all on this thread, 100%. Thanks guys.

 

Choose whatever path you want, fight me, join me, learn from me, and we'll meet in eternity and eternity forever.

 

Thanks for watching.

Edited March 5 by yaya

[yaya]

My friends, I am overflowing with love and sadness. I am crying tears of oil, pure golden oil. It is flowing down my body and healing me.

 

It is so good. They are tears of joy and acceptance. It is so good

 

if only

 

if only you could see

 

 

 

 

There is always two. Marriage is the pinnacle of creation. When two entities marry, time reverses in an instant, and a new universe is born for the two of them to explore forever and ever.

 

Go toward your heart's desire. Many things did happen just recently that I wanted to mention to you, but it doesn't matter to me anymore. If I had an absolute wish, and absolute power, I would wish for nothing. I don't want a single thing in the world, not even absolute power, not even eternal sleep, not godship, nor evil. I wish for nothing.

 

Is this what the Buddhists wanted? The extinguishing of all desire? I say they were right, but it was only half right. It is definitely a ultimate goal, they are right about that. However, I don't think that you can unify your ego in completeness with either the left or right / East or West path alone, as the Buddhists claim. You have to utilize both, because all that we know is made up of both creation and nonexistence. Even if you pursued meditation while sending all your desires into nonexistence, you yourself would still exist, and that is not enough. There is still a single atom of you that exists, and even in Buddhist enlightenment, they still cling to that. Essentially, their ego is still as a Buddhist-- a flaw, not completely released of all sense of self.

 

The truth, the truth is that you have to accept desire, and only then will you be free from it. You must accept that desire and non-desire are two sides of the same coin, and once you see that (in combination with the doctrine that you are immortal) you no longer care any more. You don't care if time goes slow or fast with desire or emptiness, because it all leads to eternity and All Things in the end. With that, you become truly enlightened, you are free of all desire, your ego is completely shattered, and there is nothing left but to accept and watch eternity forever and ever, yet you are free from that as well. Therefore, in this moment, I wish for nothing, not money nor power nor a soul mate nor sex, because I'll absolutely have it all. Yes, whether fast or slow, I know that I will have it all.

 

Now that that has passed, I will go back into the world once more and accept that I have desires again, like two stars merging and then splitting again in a cataclysmic explosion. It was Nirvana just now, but I came back. I wish for one thing. I wish that everyone themselves wish for either absolute purity or absolute power, and that they pursue it with all their power and unconscious wisdom-- their whole soul, their whole strength, and their whole heart. If they do that, then we will all meet in eternity, and they will actually see God's face, even though that is apparently impossible for any human at all.

 

What will they choose? I gave them the keys to eternity and their heart's desire. Who will actually ascend to the highest throne, or go down to ultimate purity in eternal slumber? I will watch, this amuses me very much. Anything is possible now, what will you choose? Will you even slay me, me who claims the highest throne possible? Go forth, march on to eternal godship, fulfill your heart's desire.

 

Edited March 12 by yaya

[yaya]

Something tells me to work on this tomorrow, I just can't.

 

We're so happy. Well, for starters, we finally got our passive income, around $1800 a month, and it will last forever, guaranteed to rise with inflation. Old instincts have finally paid off-- instincts I once thought were folly and a humiliation, but I had pursued them anyways.

 

I feel like I could eat the entire world, even if it is just a giant meatball. Finally, my appetite has returned. For a while, I would throw up at the scent of protein. I barely escaped throwing up from merely tasting chocolate recently. Tulpas, know that we are resting, we've been repaid, and all is just right, we are finally truly happy, waiting for the next adventure. My tulpa is sleeping soundly for what feels like the first time since she was created 11 years ago.

 

I no longer feel guilt and this troubles me, that's the next mystery we will pursue. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in 100 years. For now, we feast. We will dance, we will party! It finally happened. Thank you tulpas, sincerely. You were the instincts inside me all along.

[yaya]

 

 

Challenge me motherf*ckers, and I'll be your slave if you win. I've been brutalized, raped and tortured for nine years by the entities in my mind, but in the end I won. I'm invincible compared to that. This is what makes you worthy of the throne. The strongest one must always be leader.

 

I'm consumed with rage. I will cleanse the world with salt, blood and lye. Knives, needles, scissors, goop and muck flowed over, inside, and around me, drowning me for what felt like an eternity. It tortured me, but at the same time it also refined me. Now I see.

 

The strongest one is always leader. The leader must always decide. This is my subjective reality, and in the end, it works pragmatically. That's what matters.

 

Since I am a mirror of the universe, the universe is a mirror of me. Now I see that means I'm destined to drag it kicking and screaming through what I went through, even if I don't mean to. It will be refined with fire. Not planning anything stupid, though.

 

The first lesson is self control. The second lesson is instincts. That's all you need. Find me.

 

 

 

 

edit:

 

I said I would come back and defeat this monster. By choosing this fiery and cocky archetype, this one essentially declared war on the entire world. I kept trying to strike them down, but they kept saying I was simply weak and afraid. In all my love and infinite patience, I couldn't find a way to deal with this, so I said "this is in harmony with me. This will be a facet of mine, forever and ever." There is a time for war, and a time for peace. This is one of my facets. I found even the selfishness was a form of selflessness they had been harnessing, feeding oneself on the flock so as to defend it from lions and bears. "I don't care about anyone else but me"-- saying this was essentially a question in statement form. "Everything happens for reasons I just don't know". I will not go back to this though. Love will prevail, and this is my judgement. Love for now. War will come later. Your king has decided, yes, the king.

 

 

Both of these things are inside me, and they are one. If you had this power, would you destroy it?

 

I had a dream that imposition had overtaken me. It will happen eventually. It was interesting, mostly it pained me to see that others didn't understand I dwelled in a different universe of my mind. It will happen eventually. I'm just waiting. Find me.

Edited March 18 by yaya

[yaya]

Thanks to morkscrew and Yuka for this interesting conversation. We actually got back to tulpamancy topics for once.

 

 

 

I'm trying to go back to being normal. I feel a deep, everlasting peace finally set in, and it's getting more firmly rooted every day. I am at peace with the past, my suffering, and the entire world, finally. I feel like a king sitting down in everlasting glory and splendor. Ask questions, DM me if you want, I'll try to explain, but I probably will try not to update this thread any more, it's too thick and fluffy already. Oh, and my tulpa wants to add one more thing:

 

WE CAN ALL LIVE IN HARMONY :3

I'm the one on the right, I'm an awesome neko

Edited March 19 by yaya