Gloomynoon's Progress Report

[TurboSimmie]

😁 So glad to hear!

[Gloomynoon]

Read someone else's PR, made me think about this: creating a tulpa is like creating a dream pet, not to say they ARE a pet. For the analogy though I'm going to refer to them as a puppy. It's like getting a puppy, in the first month you may struggle with it, but as it grows it becomes easier to take care of. Some people might even after the first or second month, or even shorter than that decide they want a second puppy. I don't know how people just get like 10 puppies and don't consider the stress that comes with giving each individual puppy the attention and love that it deserves. The food, the water, making sure they don't make a mess everywhere, making the place safe for them, etc,.

What I'm trying to get at with that is, I wonder if I'll ever be as responsible as them.

 

Nepeta is going to post later today. For now though, I'll summarize the past week. Meatspace is fine, been staying afloat nicely. I've found myself practicing art a bit more recently. Maybe someday I'll be confident enough to post art I may make in the future.

 

Been spending a healthy amount of time in mindscape. I like walking around the shrine with Nepeta and chatting about various things. Speaking of chatting: I feel like I could've spent more time actively forcing Nepeta all this time? I'd say I've done a decent amount, but I feel like it's not enough. So, recently I've come to the realization that I shouldn't care too much about what we're talking about. I used to care a little about quality; I preferred not to repeat myself. Now I'm actually happy to completely repeat a conversation. It's like going on the rollercoaster ride you know is fun. You tend to gravitate towards that first, before exploring new things. 

 

Progress? I guess this is something to note down: my visualization has gotten brighter and is 10x easier to see in with great detail. It used to be that in first person I felt like I didn't have a good sense of distance, but after enough focus I'm more confident about it. Sizes between us and the world (mindscape) are pretty realistic. I can properly watch Nepeta with her unique posture, and also I can watch her forms mouth move as she communicates via mindvoice.

 

Whenever I'm alone I find myself smiling and giggling often while talking to Nepeta.

Edited November 11, 2021 by Gloomynoon
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[ruleofthumb]

Sounds great so far. I still have trouble with proportion, both when visualizing my tulpae in meatspace and when visualizing Wonderland.

[Gloomynoon]

Halloween was fun! Gloomy likes imagining apocalyptic scenarios. Which inspired our adventure.

Spoiler

We made up a zombie apocalypse scenario, because obviously Gloomy loves zombies! 

 

The setting used for the mindscape was her town in meatspace. So, we started out in her house! The story is that it's just us in the house and I slept over for the night. We were gonna walk around outside that morning, but ended up seeing some zombies. So, now obviously we gotta grab weapons! I picked a bat, Gloomy picked a kitchen knife. Soon after leaving the house we entered combat and... It turns out I'm bad at using a bat. So Gloomy ended up having to show me since she knew how... We take out our first couple of zombies and Gloomy isn't afraid to loot them for money. Great! Eventually after walking and fighting we find a gas station. While approaching the gas station someone exits. It turns out theres a group already there! The strange person holds us at gunpoint, but Gloomy was able to pacify them! Because as it turns out, we were just going there for some chips and soda. :PP This stranger introduces themselves as Stacy! She then lets us inside, and introduces us to their group. It consisted of two other people. Honestly I forgot their names... One of them was a dude the other was a girl. She asks us to wait while she grabs what we wanted. How nice of her! We ask the other two if we can join their group, they let us. The other two go outside, Stacy gives us our snacks and follows them. We take a moment to pause and Gloomy acquires the same snacks in meatspace. Now snacking, we go to see what they are chatting about! They were pretty much talking about where to go next. Gloomy suggests a park. They also ask us to show our weapons. We agree to that and they agree the park might have some people.  Along the way we end up talking to Stacy a bunch and become quite fond of her! We make it to the park and... It pretty much ends there. Somehow though one thing led to another and now Stacy is wayyyyy less of an NPC. We believe it's because since the second we met her, we constantly developed her compared to the two others whom we barely talked to. Also, she seems to believe in having a history up to the age she says she is. Strange maybe?

 

So, now Gloomy is conflicted about keeping her. Since she believes she's ready for it, and Stacy is awesome to talk to! However, she's worried about what she'll miss out on by no longer being just us and now having three people. I think it'll be okay, and it'll only be us 3. No more than us! 

 

Advice is welcome! We've been forcing with her since halloween. She's relatively the same since then.

 

It feels like a long time since I've been switched-in! Fun fact, I identify as being left-handed! It just feels so much more natural for me! Problem is the body is right handed. :(( That wont stop me though! I'm gonna use the left hand like it's the dominant one anyway. After a week, if it gets even a tiny bit easier to use, I'll keep it up. Right now, even though it's a little difficult. It's not super bad! I wouldn't mind using it for the rest of eternity! So, yeah... I'm typing this with my left hand! (Never thought I'd see the day!)

 

Before I go, I wanted to talk about a fun forcing method we've been doing recently! I call it "X or Y?" All you do is replace the x and the y with something. Like maybe "Strawberry or kiwi?" And then each person takes turns picking which one they prefer, and describes why they chose it. "I choose kiwi because it's green and looks kind of like an egg!"  

[Gloomynoon]

Update: Just cooked dinner (required cutting) and cleaned a bit with left hand. It's not as unbearable as I thought. Actually! Gloomy believes if I practice for couple of months. I could probably have almost the same quality as the right hand!

Edited November 13, 2021 by Kitkat1
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[Gloomynoon]

Switched back in after convincing Nepeta to switch. I had to convince her because she was tired.

 

Notes on switching I've never noticed before: We were feeling a sense of mental fatigue. Logically when we switched I should still feel it, right? Doesn't seem to be the case so far, the mind feels clear and I don't feel that tired. 

My perspective of this whole left handed thing: it's weird. That's all I can really say. It's a very weird feeling watching the body you've lived your whole life preferring the right hand, instead using the left 90% of the time. When she started out it was a bit tiring to type with the left hand (she was attempting to practice creating and strengthening muscle memory. That's why she didn't type with both hands like I'm doing now.) However over night it became so much easier to use it. For example she did aiming tests on the computer. Using the mouse with her left hand. It took her a little bit to get used to the bindings she set to make it easier for her to play the game. Afterwards, I've determined she's almost as good as playing right handed.

We've agreed to split the day up. 1 half I'll be switched in, the other half she'll be switched in. Right now I'm thinking 1st half is morning to sometime at noon. 2nd half is rest of noon to evening/bedtime. I'm thinking of having it be me first, her second, but we'll see how it goes. In-fact we'll do the opposite and have her go first, just to see why I think it should be that way. How our day is setup, we will have time somewhere to participate in our passions. 1st half definitely in the morning. 2nd half definitely in the evening. I believe this will go well.

[Gloomynoon]

Oh, it seems I forgot one last thing.

 

The past couple of days. I feel like Nepeta just evolved out of nowhere. Maybe from newbie tulpa to novice tulpa? Heheh... I hope to see more developments in the future.

[TurboSimmie]

Nepeta being left-handed is fascinating! Fun fact: I actually considered being left-handed for a short while at the beginning, but decided it didn't really fit me after all. (Phil and I are both right-handed.) But the fact that she is succeeding at left-handedness so quickly is awesome! 😁 It's possible Nepeta is tapping into an ambidextrous ability that your body had and you never knew about!

 

 I'm thrilled to hear about your success with switching too! We're going to attempt it too in a couple of days when we have more time. Do you like cooking, Nepeta? I think I'd like to learn sometime, it sounds fun!

[ruleofthumb]

Wow half the day switched in? That's ambitious! Sounds like Nepeta is getting the hang of fronting quickly.

[Gloomynoon]

13 hours ago, TurboSimmie said:

Do you like cooking, Nepeta?

Yes! I like it more than Gloomy at least! We don't know how to cook much, but I love to make the meals super delicious! Hmmmmm... Learning to cook more things might be lots of fun...

 

13 hours ago, TurboSimmie said:

We're going to attempt it too in a couple of days when we have more time.

I hope that goes super well! I cant wait to hopefully hear about it after you try again...?

 

10 hours ago, ruleofthumb said:

Sounds like Nepeta is getting the hang of fronting quickly.

Thanks! We personally believe it's not as hard as some people make it out to be! Everyones different though.