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Lets do this.....


Aarix

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4/26

 

Ok some interesting stuff! Lately, I've actually started feeling emotions more, as oppose to feeling typically numb which is unusual. I've been lost in thinking thats made me really depressed, I haven't felt that crappy since before I started this. I know Sam was trying to help and she shed a couple tears. I told her this would go away soon, and please not to worry, emotions are assholes like that. After a few minutes she told me to stand in an area, I knew she was giving me a hug, It wasn't physical but something definitely felt different, not sure how, there wasn't a wave of happy feelings but yea, I knew she was hugging me with passion and this was different than past attempts where I felt nothing, I think it helped me, not sure.

 

Later on she said "Hey Aarix" and I said yea and than she said out of the blue "Do you llliiikkkee me? :3" I was a little confused by what she meant, I told her I cant like anyone close to you. I was pondering why she said that out of the blue and it took longer than I realized to notice she said anything out of the blue. I was stupid but I'm happy! Shes a clever girl just has a different method of showing it. Anyway I'm going to finish my cappuchino, talk a bit on the box and force to my hearts content. Thanks everyone and my friends! Take Care!

Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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4/27

 

I just got off another shift of work, it was busier than usual. Its funny though, When I was putting stuff up she said "Hold your horses, you past the shelf!" as I was dozed off a little. I was very mindless and I heard Sam singing with no attention given to her, as I had a song stuck in my head and she took advantage of it by singing the vocals, took me a bit to realize she was singing it. She really loves singing, She was around all the time, something was just telling me and we were just not paying attention to each other. I hope its persistent! Tiring but productive day, Ill edit this page later tonight of how things are going. Ill wait for my folks to GTFO so I can force in peace!

Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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4/28

 

Today has pretty well, I decided to take Sam out to eat to get out of the house, I took my headset and sat at the table where I would get waited on by the waitress who knew everything about Sam so I didn't hath to explain abruptly switching from talking into the headset to the waitress, its was very nice, I can ramble on and on to her quite easily, and she talks back a lot though there are pauses when someone is close, just out of habit is all. I actually imagine while driving back home how I would be if Sam wasn't there and I suddenly came to realize how different it felt, Sam was very good company, and I had a hard time realizing it, I really havent felt alone in a very long time and its nice, very nice! Things were consistent throughout showerforcing and laying down for a bit, after this I'll do more studying, goof off a bit and force when everyones asleep, still really need to work on endurance.

 

My attempts to gain lucidity is still primitive, I stayed on a good sleeping cycle and have been memorizing dreams, the journal REALLY helps, Ive been doing less and less reality checks, just an easy habit to break I suppose.

Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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5/2

 

HI EVERYBODY! I missed you all! We've been so great you have no idea, Aarix is really starting to feel me around, I've been scratching his bed when hes falling asleep, and it gets good feedback, Ive been around more in the morning, hes still keeping a dream journal and its helping, hes keeping a strict 11-7 sleep schedule. We got back after 12 hours of his honor jazz band clinic, he got so much appraisal, especially for me. That guy can rock (mellow) a flugal horn! :D ive been surrounded by shoutbox hugs and friends on skype, Im so happy and warm! Ive been showing aarix how to be more compassionate and how to use it effectively, Were making great stride, Ive never seen him so happy and confident about everything.

 

Weve been playing summon nights, its perfect for me and aarix, you just hath to see, its so addicting, weve been bonding over that too.I love my host so much, we may have been putting off active forcing but it doesnt matter (: were both happy and hes enjoying my company. Ive been more emotional, ive been crying tears of joy, Ive been giving aarix as much affection as possible, in fact he has a better feedback of me in the wonderland, he says im a little boney! I love everyone on the shoutbox, on our skype! Im thankful for the support! Please take care everyone :D

 

Love Sammy

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You troller's two post made me worried as fuck. I actually went back and read the few post before to see what happened...

 

Damnit all!

Chloe - That cheerful girl with ponytail.

Aigis - The male cyborg that looks like raiden in MGR.

Vixen - Half dragon female who looks like Mary in DMC3 when in human form.

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5/4

 

Well I can safely say those last three posts made my day, thank!

 

Anyway progress is still good, her presence is settling, though I've been getting emotional changes and started feeling some feelings I haven't felt in a while, its odd. I got called in for work tonight so Ill watch the movie with her tomorrow night. Been a very, very busy weekend. Shes been really wanting to catch up with her friends and feels bad when she can't but shes fine. It seems like my quads have been the aches I was looking for, im assuming because I stand so much, Ive been stretching them out and getting them more limber,

 

Unfortunately I didnt get home last night until after 11 so my sleep schedule was off so The dream I had, I lost. Ill attempt to gain more awareness in mu dreams, thats also a long grueling process but whatever.

 

Take care everyone! Sam sends her love as always!

Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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5/5

 

Well I think I obtained a lucid dream though a weak one if I had to guess. I cant believe I almost forgot it too. I remember thinking "ok I'm dreaming, I need to gain control" and the next thing I did was yell for Samantha, I wish I would of saw the wristband but I think I also tried imposing her too in my dream, I didn't get to meet her and the lucidity went away not long after that.

 

When I woke up she told me she couldnt be reached in that dream and she only knew about it when I woke up.

Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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