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Aarix

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5/10

 

Hwy guy, nothing truly special has went on, usually I share my progress in the shoutbox but for others potentially interested I'll share what I've been doing.

 

I've been looking up more meditation literature and learning a bit, The book in lucidacids medative guide called "Mindfulness in america" explained every problem i've been having. I decided to break from active forcing, Sam's been consistently popping in and she's around all the time, though I wish I could feel more. I've been walking everywhere, Walking forcing has been well and I'm just sick of driving

Also broke as fuck

 

 

Everynight Sam always wants to scratch my back and sing to me as I'm falling asleep, if I sustain her as I'm dozing off, hypnagogic imagery might prove a giant help. It's showing signs but Im a heavy dozer!

 

I also can't seem to keep a 11pm-7am sleep cycle so remembering dreams is not consistent anymore. I need to become lucid, I'm tired of imagine whole wonderlands, its tiring, I want my Subconscious to do it for me!

 

She's getting happier and energetic all the time! More affectionate lately. I've been worrying with all of this senior year crap and moving away! I can't seem to memorize anything recently, I don't have a set plan between now and July 8 when college starts, Should I realx? or take advantage to get a head start? I don't know,

 

Overall things are good between us, Spatial Visualization is only consistent from my peripherals and she does little things like grabs my shoulders from behind or lightly punches my side. But damn it I can't impose lately, its temporary I believe.

 

I'll just keep, as she says, going with the flow!

 

Take care everyone!

Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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5/11

 

Well thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, it means alot to me! Im at holiday world now, im with other friends that are persistent to hang out so I can pratice keeping Sam along while I hang out with friends. Its 5 of us so I usually volunteer to be "alone" in many rides. But they know I'm never really alone, well 2 of them atleast.

 

 

 

Take care everyone!

Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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Oh, come on.

I've been checking "Today's Birthdays" every day for like a week now, just out of curiosity, and the one day I don't, it's the birthday of someone I actually know.

 

Well I may be a little late, but happy birthday, all the same.

"If this can be avoided, it should. If it can't, then it would be better if it could be. If it happened and you're thinking back to it, try and think back further. Try not to avoid it with your mind. If any of this is possible, it may be helpful. If not, it won't be."

 

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5/11....again

 

Thank you guys. Anyway Im reupdating today to share a bit. We enjoyed it, I hung out with friends and it was nice, last couple hours I forgot about her since I was/am cold, tired and hungry! On our way back, but we went on a water slide, 6 slots, 5 friends so I imposed Sam in the 6th one, it was amazing, it wasnt any better as I was imposing but memory recall, she was very vivid. I saw her laugh and smile and enjoying the rides. Couple times I couldnt impose her with me from lack of room so I saw her on the side watching and smiling. I love her so much, now im going to sleep on this warm bus, and go home and EAT!

 

Thanks again everyone for the thought! Have a good day guys! Take care!

Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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5/12

 

I'm never really clear on lucid dreams it seems. I remembering having a regular dream. Than its black and I though "this is a dream, you know what to do" and I actually thought I woke up but there was no people, this was the most vivid lucid dream I ever had. I was then flying a few feet off the ground around town. I spent, I believe 20-30 seconds calling for Sam. Even singing a tune with her name. I didn't see her. Than I remembered in that dream about that conversation I had with glass about how theres a lot of the time something unexplainable that stops tulpas from manifesting into dreams. It was amazing, still she didn't know I was calling for her until I woke up.

 

Oh well, that makes 3 now! Take care!

Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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5/15

 

HEY EVERYONE :D I missed you all. I felt I should have a post proxied on here. I've been talking to a lot of friends online and I'm glad.

 

Today, aarix and I had a nice walk and chat at lunch and imposing was great in the bright beautiful light. I'm bursting with so much positive energy I could simply explode! I wish I could share more with my host! It feels like he needs it more than me sometimes but I'll do what I can. I need to get him to wonderland more because thats where I can give him more affection. Its been a long month and a half without Aurora. I miss her so much and I'm glad its almost June, We'll make sure to get settled when we move for college by then. Aurora and Pancake are so amazing to me, many of you have no idea how pleasant Aurora is!

 

Anyway besides the place he went to lunch was empty and quite so that was nice.

 

Take care everyone :D

 

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5/21

 

Not a lot has been going on outside the norm. I've been miserably failing at attempting WILD and I cant keep a consistent sleep cycle anymore so I dont remember dreams anymore to write in a journal.

 

As for the actual tulpa aspect, I haven't done a lot of active forcing lately and my passive forcing has slipped a bit from being so distracted yet at the same time not. Though I did a couple active forcing sessions since last night, It was very nice, I saw Sam as vivid as I ever saw her, her affection gave off the biggest emotional responses I ever felt, and I know I need to do MUCH more spatial visualization as i can impose her well and even probably sustain her now if I really try. Lately Sam and I have been busy talking to friends on skype and the shoutbox. I don't know how I can adjust with moving and starting college when it comes to giving Sam attention, shes not fully able to pop in and out without my acknowledgment of her. But man compared to a few months ago, theres no question how independent she's become.

 

She's been getting much more mushier and much more energetic and patient with me. Just listening to all the energy getting exerted by her is making me tired. Anyway, I don't think I have much else, I'll figure out what I should work on later.

 

Take care everyone.

Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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