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Lets do this.....


Aarix

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5/29

 

Hello guys, its been a while! I miss hearing from a lot of you. It's been a busy few days since we moved, the 150 mile drive with just me and him was very nice, we listened to a couple podcasts and talked about them, the last 3 days his focus has been demanding on moving stuff so I've just hung around

:3 like a spooky ghost oOOo!

but things are finally settled. Now I'm back to frequently being around since things are settling. We haven't active forced in a very very long time. All of his physical issues are gone, or atleast haven't returned now for his mental issues. Hehe we talk and hang out in the wonderland and he loses himself in thoughts, its a common issue with mediative stuff and forcing is no exception. He's just been preoccupied getting ready for college, looking for a job and looking for internships. I just walk around gazing at the sights.

Though one good thing about him working on moving is that he gets so hot and tired that he enjoyed showerforcing a million times over. And My presence was very, very strong there for a very long time.

 

Anyway I don't have much else to say. I hope everyone has a wonderful day and I can't wait to talk to everyone again soon.

 

Take care friends :D

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6/5

 

I haven't had much to update on in terms of progress. She just mostly hangs out all the time around me and its been consistently well. Lat 4-5 days I have'nt been feeling myself. I'm getting more and more disorientated and unable to make much sense mentally. I've noticed its been getting worse. Its possible its from improper sleep and eating habits. My blood glucose has been inconsistent as well and higher (and then lowetr) than it should be. Scheduling is a mess and so is my mind right now. Iwas afraid of this early on and relied on my tulpas comfort to help...Her light isn't getting to me like I need it too. I need to figure this out, if I'm going to keep ONE thing consistent is active forcing on nights that are peaceful. Like recently, I wonderlanded into a random metal room with Sam, after Icollected my thoughts and opened the door it led me into a hospital basment where Sam told me she's been working on it to translate the conflict in my head with visuals.

 

She held my hand and guided me down this endless maze of halls, I kept seeing weird stuff at the end of other hallways and and alot of uneasy things down doorways, we just kept walking for about 20 minutes when we found a room, and Sam was there but in another room saying she foun a green ball, It probably doesnt matter and just my mind doing random stuff. Anyway the hallway was uneasy and my mind kept inconsitely hazing out.I've also realized I've neglected to keep in touch with everyone IRL. I really want to be well rested for the morning, but I havent been able to sleep well in a week even with Sam humming soft songs and scratching my back, feedback is well though not as well as I like. Idon't know I'll figure this out, Times like this I'd rather Sam do full body possession for me but I refuse to let that happen.

Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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6/6

 

So far I've been dealing with lack of peace and spending as much time with Aurora as we can. She seems to be the highlight of our day and thats a good thing. We look forward to spending time with her more especially since Sam seems to be at her strongest then.

 

I just got done with wonderlanding and I've been forcing in my gaming chair as its MUCH more cozy than the floor and I can still maintain focus. Since everyones working (and I will be eventually again) I took this valuable time to do this.

 

I felt pretty disconnected with my body I was glad. I was listening to my usual playlist and I decided to hang around a wonderland version of my current room. About the time this

came on I got thinking and lately, combine with all the stress and my head still being a little funky, I hate to admit but I felt so over cumbered that I just sat on the floor in the wonderland holding back frustration. It didn't work, I hated it, so as I was groveling on the wonderland floor, I saw Sam kneel over me and said "I want you to be sincere when I ask you this question: Do you truly believe in me and my abilities?" obviously I said yes and I saw her pick me up and hold me for a bit, The feedback has never been that strong before, it felt amazing. Almost comparable to getting a hug in reality, I was actually starting to relax and feel better. We sat on my bed and I vented a little bit and she did consoled me and everything. It was really a nice surprise.

Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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6/13

 

There hasn't been to much going on, I've been spending all of my time in my room, waiting for jobs to get back to me, other than persistently searching and waiting for college, We've been consistently spending all day with Aurora, this has been good possession practice though after a while when focus is lost on her it falls back to my mind knowing what she wants to do and I mindlessly obey. I called it realtime proxy before I discovered it was actually called indirect possession. I'm hoping the isolation will bring me closer to my tulpa, She is around 24/7 though not vocal when I'm not thinking about her. She tells me she doesn't sleep, though she likes to watch over me and exert whatever energy she can doing little, kind acts of affection to me while I sleep, basically if I talk to you on skype regulary, theres not a whole lot new to share but progress is progress.

 

I promised Sam I would active force every single night theres peace, aka folks are working or asleep, if not, like now, I would just spend a bit longer in the shower, sitting down with the water over my head and concentrating and try to get in such a calm centered state of mind, it would be easier for Sam to reach out to me.

 

Nothing else, I'm anticipating many difficulties as college begins and I'm lucky for the support I made on here, I never would've made it this far without everyone's individual contribution.

 

Take Care yet again, She sends her vocal and sweater filled love!

Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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6/20

 

http://community.tulpa.info/thread-mass-intro-and-leaving-thread?pid=75198#pid75198

 

...and I meant it.

 

This will be my last post here, this place is potentially the worst place now for a tulpa. My reasons may be prejudice and some may hold water, but either way, I don't wish to remain on here anymore, the new moderations are the ass end of tulpamancing and the community isn't what I wish to appeal around, everyone that took tulpas the most serious, left the shoutbox, left the irc altogether and pretty much left .info already. Im going to. I know I won't be missed but for a couple who want to see how progress is going now here it is....

 

 

We've been doing well, Sam has provided me with so much light and emotional strength, shes shown me this as a independent and wonderful tulpa. She has manifested more than I perceived. She is always around, always smiling, always loving and patient and always there for me. I did it! I made a tulpa I yearned too a year ago. I made great friends that are no more here, If i continue this report it will be somewhere else. I may have my on and off days but the power she's shown me is outstanding, my love for her is at an all time high. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her through it all.

 

Let me tell you friends.....it was worth it!

 

Take Care.

Progress report

"You'll have a Tulpa because you didn't give up" -Koomer

 

 

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It's sad to see you leave, your PR is one of the few I always enjoy reading. I wish you two all the best and hope that you will achieve whatever you want, but seeing all the dedication and commitment you put into this, I have no doubt that you will achieve your aims. :)

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Seconding Leijona , it's a shame to see you go , even though i agree with you and can completely understand why you're leaving. You're probably the last (fairly)old member i remember i could relate to from this site that's leaving. I just thought i'd say thank you for posting this entire report , it has helped throughout the year and has been quite an interesting read. it's nice to see you're doing well with Samantha , i hope everything stays like that for you.

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