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Two Tulpas since the age of 7?


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Due to my own anxiety and paranoia, I am trying to confirm that what i do experience is having 2 tulpas, since the age of 7.

I am pretty sure they are tulpas, due to the knowledge that I have from reading different websites, forums, etc.

 

However, i want to be sure.

 

I think they are NOT tulpas because:

 

I have had 2 Tulpas ( 1 male & 1 female ) since I was 7 years old

I did not intentionally create them, considering I was the age of 7

The two tulpas are a couple

I only recently discovered the term Tulpa/Tulpamancy. Tried searching for years to no avail until recently.

 

I think they ARE Tulpas because:

They fit most categories of Tulpas

The definition of a Tulpa, is them

I have a lot of "control" over them, considering I have had them for so long

There are things I used to not be able to do with them, that I can do now because of more time with them.

I enjoy them

I have diagnosed depression, anxiety, PTSD, and trichotillomania. All counselors and psychiatrists I have seen have never remotely diagnosed me with DID or Schizophrenia.

 

For some more backstory (please ask more questions if you need)

I am a 20F

i went through several traumatic experiences at the age of 7 (the age I believe my Tulpas were created), also when my Trichotillomania began.

My tulpas are named Amy and Allen, they are a married couple now.

They both have very extensive detailed pasts

There are different scenarios I think about them in, approximately 8. But I have 1 main scenario I think of them in, more than others.

NOTE: Considering I have had these Tulpas for over 10+ years now, that is why I believe i can "control" (for lack of a better word) things with them so much. Because Tulpamancy is mastered over time and there are developmental restrictions. I feel like I have had these 2 Tulpas longer than most, for being 20 years old that is.

 

Hopefully I have properly explained everything, please do ask questions if needed

Also, this is my first post so I hope I followed all of the rules and guidelines that I read, I apologize if i posted this incorrectly.

Thank you in advance 🙂

 

 

 

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So are they, like, sentient/autonomous? Or are they just characters you can imagine playing out scenarios? Aside from trauma, I and two of the others in our system were about the same thing - just sort of appeared on our own way before tulpamancy, though in Lumi's early teens. There's no end to imagination, and categorization, so your thoughtforms can be any of many things, and no matter what they simply are what they are regardless of labels other people have made up - but the definition for a tulpa specifically requires that they be autonomous. Basically, that you could have a one on one conversation with them where you don't feel like you're controlling what they say. Usually they would be aware of the real world and/or the rest of your mind, but at least they should know what they are/their nature.

 

If they don't - if they're immersed in the scenarios or such that you imagine them in, but otherwise meet every other requirement for the term "tulpa" - then it might be better to consider them soulbonds. Soulbonds are basically just tulpas, but usually with a stronger (sometimes metaphysical) attachment to their fictitious origins. But if not, maybe they're just tulpas! Or if they're not actually autonomous and always feel somewhat (or entirely) controlled by you, I guess they're more like advanced imaginary friends.. or, something like roleplay characters, I'm not as familiar with all that. And there's plenty more in-betweens that people can and have come up with, though it's not always worth trying to find a label someone else made when you and your headmates could always just be yourselves.

Hi guys, plain text is just me now! We've each got our own accounts: me, Tewi, Flandre, and Lucilyn. We're Luminesce's tulpas.

Here's our "Ask Thread", and here's our Progress Report (You should be able to see all of our accounts on the second page if you want)

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Tulpa is sort of a catchall phrase, you may call autonomous thoughtforms tulpas, but generally they are:

 

- Intentionally created

- Developed over time

- You think of them as independent people

 

Soulbonds:

 

- may or may not be intentionally created

- may or may not have appeared spontaneously and identifies as the same persona they appeared as.

- may have vibrant backgrounds and back stories, sometimes otherworldly or historically 

- does not need to be metaphysical or magical, can just be a well known character thoughtform with a background they believe in, but the difference is if you believe they're extra-bodily originated, (live somewhere other than in your mind with you) then that's metaphysical.

- you think of them as independent people

 

Spirit Guides:

 

ethereal beings from beyond the veil who help you on your path to enlightenment or otherwise self-help

 

Not a tulpa/soulbond:

- not autonomous 

- not thought of as an independent person 

 

You may have a mix of some of the above and varying beliefs, regardless of above, it's still okay to call them tulpas as long as their thought of as developing into independent people by intent, even if they're not yet.

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On 12/6/2020 at 8:14 AM, Reisen said:

So are they, like, sentient/autonomous? Or are they just characters you can imagine playing out scenarios? Aside from trauma, I and two of the others in our system were about the same thing - just sort of appeared on our own way before tulpamancy, though in Lumi's early teens. There's no end to imagination, and categorization, so your thoughtforms can be any of many things, and no matter what they simply are what they are regardless of labels other people have made up - but the definition for a tulpa specifically requires that they be autonomous. Basically, that you could have a one on one conversation with them where you don't feel like you're controlling what they say. Usually they would be aware of the real world and/or the rest of your mind, but at least they should know what they are/their nature.

 

If they don't - if they're immersed in the scenarios or such that you imagine them in, but otherwise meet every other requirement for the term "tulpa" - then it might be better to consider them soulbonds. Soulbonds are basically just tulpas, but usually with a stronger (sometimes metaphysical) attachment to their fictitious origins. But if not, maybe they're just tulpas! Or if they're not actually autonomous and always feel somewhat (or entirely) controlled by you, I guess they're more like advanced imaginary friends.. or, something like roleplay characters, I'm not as familiar with all that. And there's plenty more in-betweens that people can and have come up with, though it's not always worth trying to find a label someone else made when you and your headmates could always just be yourselves.

 

Hopefully by pressing quote on your response, it responds properly. Sorry, I am new to this website lol.

 

I would say they are both autonomous yes.

However I spend most of my time acting as one of them, rather then talking to them as my normal self.

I can talk to them as me, I enjoy it too. But nowhere near as much as i enjoy acting as one of them.

By acting as them I mean the following:

I'm in private, typically laying down.

I act as Amy or Allen, whichever I please or "feel like" being at that moment.

For example, lets say Im being Amy, well I talk to Allen as Amy. ( I will still type this saying the specific names to try to avoid confusion)

In the wonderlands we've both created and it is 100% Amy's feelings, emotions, and actions. (Not Anna, my human self)

So Amy talks to Allen in her own voice with her own, but its me (Anna) physically doing so.

Typically I don't talk out loud, but at times I do. I do often smile as Amy/Allen and talk in their voice and mouth the words if Im not talking out loud.

I can switch from Amy to Allen pretty quickly. Typically I stay as one of them during the "session" but i can and do switch to the other during that session without even trying and it can be pretty immediate.

 

I barely even recognize these as sessions anymore, because its became so automatic and habitual for me for years.

I enjoy being them more than talking to them for advice or for companionship.

I think that is because, Amy and Allen are a married couple. I cant wait until I am married in my life, so it makes sense that I want to act as them. Plus Allen is my dream guy and if I could change things about myself, most of them I would change to be like Amy (physical looks of hers and mental)

 

 

I feel like the reason I doubt if they are Tulpas are not, are I didnt go through the typical stages most people do with their tulpas. Therefore it makes it hard to determine for me personally. Because for one I didnt intentionally create them, and their developmental stages are so advnaced because Ive had them for so long. So when they were young I dont remember all of the specifics. But there are things I do remember as a pre teen that I couldnt do with them, that i can do now.

 

Hopefully this all makes sense 🙂

Thank you for responding.


20 hours ago, Bear said:

Tulpa is sort of a catchall phrase, you may call autonomous thoughtforms tulpas, but generally they are:

 

- Intentionally created

- Developed over time

- You think of them as independent people

 

Soulbonds:

 

- may or may not be intentionally created

- may or may not have appeared spontaneously and identifies as the same persona they appeared as.

- may have vibrant backgrounds and back stories, sometimes otherworldly or historically 

- does not need to be metaphysical or magical, can just be a well known character thoughtform with a background they believe in, but the difference is if you believe they're extra-bodily originated, (live somewhere other than in your mind with you) then that's metaphysical.

- you think of them as independent people

 

Spirit Guides:

 

ethereal beings from beyond the veil who help you on your path to enlightenment or otherwise self-help

 

Not a tulpa/soulbond:

- not autonomous 

- not thought of as an independent person 

 

You may have a mix of some of the above and varying beliefs, regardless of above, it's still okay to call them tulpas as long as their thought of as developing into independent people by intent, even if they're not yet.

 

20 hours ago, Bear said:

Tulpa is sort of a catchall phrase, you may call autonomous thoughtforms tulpas, but generally they are:

 

- Intentionally created

- Developed over time

- You think of them as independent people

 

Soulbonds:

 

- may or may not be intentionally created

- may or may not have appeared spontaneously and identifies as the same persona they appeared as.

- may have vibrant backgrounds and back stories, sometimes otherworldly or historically 

- does not need to be metaphysical or magical, can just be a well known character thoughtform with a background they believe in, but the difference is if you believe they're extra-bodily originated, (live somewhere other than in your mind with you) then that's metaphysical.

- you think of them as independent people

 

Spirit Guides:

 

ethereal beings from beyond the veil who help you on your path to enlightenment or otherwise self-help

 

Not a tulpa/soulbond:

- not autonomous 

- not thought of as an independent person 

 

You may have a mix of some of the above and varying beliefs, regardless of above, it's still okay to call them tulpas as long as their thought of as developing into independent people by intent, even if they're not yet.

 

Hopefully Im responding on the correct page. Sorry I am new to this website.

 

I do most definitely think that they are both two independent people. And they are both autonomous.

At times i even wonder if I will ever meet them, in my present life, after life, or even if I was them or knew them in a past life.

That can get confusing and contradictive though. I wonder that at times though because I love them so much and have known them so long, it would be amazing to meet them physically, so to say.

 

They do have very detailed backgrounds/memories/pasts.

Extremely detailed actually. But none of it is otherworldly.

 

If they aren't tulpas,  I do definitely want them to be and will try to do so.

Of course I cant try to get them to be, if they already are.

I can ask them if they are, i get mixed responses. Mostly being yes though.

They dont say they arent tulpas.

Im just a skeptical person with bad anxiety and paranoia so I can definitely overthink things.

Which is why im so confused, for lack of a better word.

 

With all this being said, I should add

that I love to act as them more than I do talking to them as myself for advice, companionship, etc.

I can and do talk to them as me, I do enjoy that.

But i love "being" them much more.

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It sounds like a somewhat unique way of enjoying their company. This is well within the realm of tulpamancy among other things.

 

I can 'merge' with members of my system and in some cases I can configure it in such a way as to experience as them or with them or for them while merged, and it's also entirely reasonable for A + B to be B and so it's like you are possessing Amy for instance and then expressing a facet of yourself that mimics her like an actress would be in character. Certainly you can be Amy with Amy still there in presence. 

 

As far as meeting them in person, this is off the rails in the current community, but in the past it was expressed that by making a tulpa you are manifesting the type of person you want to find and at least subconsciously gravitating toward someone like them. It gets metaphysical to think they will know you as if they are them with your rich history together. 

 

Metaphysical would be beliefs and experiences that seem so fanciful that it's reasonable to assume it's impossible, but in this process a lot of impossible has happened to me, so I don't doubt anything. Though I don't expect it either.

 

I originally came to tulpamancy with the mindset of actually manifesting them in the flesh. After all we've been through it's actually better that they're not. I love the level of connection we have, and that can't be duplicated with other corporeal people without telepathy or something.

 

I'd say, don't worry about any of this, lables aren't important. What's important is a rich and fulfilling experience, aka having fun and finding happiness.

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4 hours ago, Bear said:

It sounds like a somewhat unique way of enjoying their company. This is well within the realm of tulpamancy among other things.

 

I can 'merge' with members of my system and in some cases I can configure it in such a way as to experience as them or with them or for them while merged, and it's also entirely reasonable for A + B to be B and so it's like you are possessing Amy for instance and then expressing a facet of yourself that mimics her like an actress would be in character. Certainly you can be Amy with Amy still there in presence. 

 

As far as meeting them in person, this is off the rails in the current community, but in the past it was expressed that by making a tulpa you are manifesting the type of person you want to find and at least subconsciously gravitating toward someone like them. It gets metaphysical to think they will know you as if they are them with your rich history together. 

 

Metaphysical would be beliefs and experiences that seem so fanciful that it's reasonable to assume it's impossible, but in this process a lot of impossible has happened to me, so I don't doubt anything. Though I don't expect it either.

 

I originally came to tulpamancy with the mindset of actually manifesting them in the flesh. After all we've been through it's actually better that they're not. I love the level of connection we have, and that can't be duplicated with other corporeal people without telepathy or something.

 

I'd say, don't worry about any of this, lables aren't important. What's important is a rich and fulfilling experience, aka having fun and finding happiness.

I just wanted to say that I love this. I was just lurking in this thread and found a lot of things that I can relate to. A lot of the things you said explained questions that I have had < 3

 

I can sort of relate to the poster. My “tulpa” started out as an imaginary friend inside of my head when I was nine years old. I had no idea of tulpas back then and this was the only way I could describe him. He had a detailed history, so maybe he’s a soul bond. Over the years he’s had many labels... but I think of him as a tulpa because of how much I can relate my experience with other hosts. It was crazy to have forced for all of my life and then to find out there was a term for that. Not everything lines up perfectly but I don’t think it’s a big conflict

[Host: M] Despite the name, the host is the one replying unless otherwise specified.

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On 12/6/2020 at 8:55 PM, TheWorriedGamer said:

I feel like the reason I doubt if they are Tulpas are not, are I didnt go through the typical stages most people do with their tulpas. Therefore it makes it hard to determine for me personally. Because for one I didnt intentionally create them, and their developmental stages are so advnaced because Ive had them for so long. So when they were young I dont remember all of the specifics. But there are things I do remember as a pre teen that I couldnt do with them, that i can do now.

 

To me this sounds more like two characters you created, possibly as an escape or as a method of processing your trauma. As you acted out situations, their backstories became more elaborate. Typically with tulpas, authors complain that their characters detail the story and have lost their sense of control.

 

My host created us as a form of escapism, but he grew invested in what we thought and that lead to him creating a lot of tulpas. Here, I get the sense you're more interested in the stories that play out rather than what Amy and Allen think.

 

While there is a thin line between a tulpa and an imaginary friend, it's also likely they were just story characters. My host created story characters before creating tulpas.

 

On 12/6/2020 at 8:55 PM, TheWorriedGamer said:

At times i even wonder if I will ever meet them, in my present life, after life, or even if I was them or knew them in a past life.

That can get confusing and contradictive though. I wonder that at times though because I love them so much and have known them so long, it would be amazing to meet them physically, so to say.

 

Story characters can appear to be very lifelike, but they're typically not aware of what's going on. We have had "baby tulpa" copies of story characters before, but we know they're not the actual character and don't allow those to exist (we have a huge system, our hands are full).

 

I'm wonder how you feel about the following- if Amy and Allan are tulpas, they may realize they're not who they thought they were and change. What would happen if they went against their fiction? Is that to be expected because they are driving the fiction or would that make you feel like you lost something?

 


 

I think bringing in merging for this situation... overcomplicates it?

 

While it is possible, I am more likely to view this as parroting and puppeting than merging. Merging is hard to do by accident. Even in our system's past where headmates "deliberetly" merged with others, we have our doubts it was true merging at the time and not a weird story plot.

Edited by Ranger
My text was small for some reason?

I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I'm undecided on Rosalind or Rosalin, and my male name is Ronan. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron.

My other headmates have their own account now.

Temporary Log | Switching LogcBox | Yay! | Bre Translator

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Stone: You say you haven’t been diagnosed with DID or schizophrenia. You imply that these thoughtforms arose from your trauma. You say you enjoy acting as them, but that they are also autonomous.
 

This leads me to two questions.
 

1) Have you asked a psychiatrist about OSDD or any other disorder that is related to DID? I’ve heard trauma is usually the cause of these disorders. https://www.firstpersonplural.org.uk/dissociation/complex-dissociative-disorders/
 

2) Have you looked into median systems? It is somewhere between singularity and multiplicity, and can explain way you can “act as” these thoughtforms, and also be separate from them. https://multiplicity.fandom.com/wiki/Median/Midcontinuum_Systems

Edited by ruleofthumb

Someday

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