Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Nice to see you progressing, don't feel in rush with anything, just enjoy spending time together. About this doubts - I catch myself on it to. It's normal for humankind ( and tulpakind I guess :P ) to doubt, and the best thing we can do is just to live in present, and go on. From my perspective you don't have to worry, Simmie is a real person and there is a ton of evidence! When doubts catch you, just focus and feel her presence. Or just talk to her, she will convince you immediately. Wish you both best luck .

 

Hosts can be irritating with their doubts in us and our progress, but when one of us falls in bad mood, just remember you do love each other. Unconditionaly. It's always nice to hear other tulpa-host duos achieving happines. I kinda suck at writing and expressing myself. Preety jealous, because you are amazing at it Simmie. I wish you both best luck aswell.

,,Breathing is fun"

Also, stop reading this and go appreaciate your tulpa.

 

Me - host

Elzu - tulpa

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 61
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Thank you so much for your kind words @JakubM and Elzu! 🤗

Also known as GypsyRoad or Phil Present. Call me what you want, I'm not picky.

Simmie is my lovely tulpa, she's quite young still but is eager to meet and chat with new people so don't hesitate to say hi!

Link to post
Share on other sites

The door to the therapists' office creaks open; Simmie and I walk inside. We sit down on the couch, hand in hand, looking between each other and the therapist with a sheepish expression on each of our faces. "What brings you to my office today?" The therapist asks us. I look over at Simmie; she nods. "We forgot how to Tulpa," I say, squeezing Simmie's hand, "Can you help us?" 😆

 

Things have been mostly positive with Simmie and I lately, but we feel like we're stuck a lot of the time. The specific problems are kind of hard to explain. It's like...Simmie hasn't been expressing her individuality a lot lately. She seems to be mostly saying the things that I expect she would say. When I push her I can get a little more out of her, but I don't want to irritate her. A lot of it could be down to exhaustion or lack of stimulation--generally speaking whenever I'm tired Simmie is even more tired.

 

But maybe part of it is our slacking on "traditional" tulpamancy activities lately. I try and close my eyes and go into the wonderland with Simmie but it's often hard for me to concentrate. Meditation has been out of the question for me; unless maybe some kind of guided meditation could work? I don't know if this is normal or not but it's easier to talk to Simmie when I'm in a more energetic state, especially when I've drank a ton of coffee. I don't want that to always be the case, though; I want us to be able to talk just as fluently if we're sitting down to relax after a long day.

 

Kind of wish we had a guide or a mentor to help us a bit. When I look at the guides the same problem happens whenever I'm confronted by a large amount of information--I don't know where to start and my brain shuts down. I know there was a mentorship program at one point but I don't know if that is still going on. Just kind of wish somebody would take my hand (and Simmie's hand) and show us the way.

Also known as GypsyRoad or Phil Present. Call me what you want, I'm not picky.

Simmie is my lovely tulpa, she's quite young still but is eager to meet and chat with new people so don't hesitate to say hi!

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's a very zen thing, isn't it? It seems like trying to pushes it away sometimes and kind of just doing it does work. It's really hard to do something while not thinking about it or trying to do it. Not sure how helpful we are. We think that talking to folks in the same boat helps a ton. I pretty much knew Jaina was always going to be there but I didn't realize how much I needed to talk about it. To know that I'm not just crazy and get some reassurance. At the end of the day it's your two's journey but you have a bunch of fellow crazies running the asylum to vent with and bounce ideas off of.

 

As with most things balance is probably the answer. Being free and wild spirited, rebelling against the machine is good but so is structure and order sometimes. It gives you something to work with. Even though my tulpa and I have been together forever we're still quite new to official tulpa lore and guides. A lot of information is overwhelming, especially when you're lazy like me. Someone good with meditation exercises and suggestions for incorporating tulpamancy into every day life would probably be best. Keep asking around. There's places to find other gurus outside our quaint little circle here if no one is up for mentorship. There's reddit, the discord and other random forums to plumb for ideas, advice and perspective. I find perspective to be important. It helps you get out of your own head and really see things sometimes. 

 

Hope this helps!

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: 🐺

[DeviantArt]

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello Sep13 and Simmie. It seems you are beating a horse too much. Your progress was fast because it was based on the host’s excitement. Now please let things settle a bit. Give Simmie some time to look around and figure out her place in the world. Don’t be afraid for some regression in her development. Let her be what she wants to be. She is already here and will never disappear for a no reason.

TL;DR relax and take your time. Everything will be fine.

Lia  -  30 Jan 2018

Art thread

PR

Link to post
Share on other sites
(edited)
On 12/25/2020 at 11:49 PM, September13 said:

But my main focus right now is to get down to business with forcing. I've been pouring over the guides on this site and taking down notes, but all that I've gained are little tips to help, but I still feel like I'm struggling to understand the fundamental basics of forcing and what I should be doing. To put it even more simply: I need help with active forcing! I am willing to try any technique or strategy that is suggested to me that seems reasonable, and I'm especially curious about things that you yourself have had success doing.

 

Active forcing isn't required for forcing in general, but it tends to be more productive than passive forcing. In essence, active forcing is sitting down and giving Simmie undivided attention. Compared to passive forcing, or giving Simmie your divided attention while doing something else, the main advantage to active forcing is you can spend more time working with Simmie and going over stuff you may not want to talk about in 20 minutes. Active forcing isn't our strong suit either, but I believe that's because we don't meditate regularly or for long periods of time. If you are struggling to active force for more than 30 minutes, the best thing to do is to practice for as long as you can and to practice more freqently. If you want, you can also look into meditation and meditate before or during your session. Over time, you will be able to hold your state of focus for longer.

 

On 12/25/2020 at 11:49 PM, September13 said:

Should I stop playing with Simmie's avatar in the Sims? I may have mentioned once that was how I first created her before I knew about tulpamancy, and is the reason it is so easy for me to picture her appearance. However, now that she is a developing tulpa this feels slightly problematic: Playing with her Sim feels a little too much like puppetting, and although sims can be expressive they only have a limited range of pre-programmed reactions and interactions, and I don't want that to be a limiting factor to Simmie's expression. Also, Simmie herself ironically feels less present in my mind when I'm playing with her sim. I thought using the game to tell fun stories with her could be helpful but it seems more distracting and distancing than anything. To contrast, she definitely feels much more present when we play games like Fallout: New Vegas together.

 

Why not have Simmie tell you what she wants to do with her character?

 

On 12/12/2020 at 2:48 AM, September13 said:

One of the biggest challenges is fully embracing her separate existence from mine. I come from a background of writing, and I've spent decades creating characters and thinking for them, getting into their heads and figuring out how they would react to a given situation. But it was always me simulating the character's words and actions and I always viewed it that way. Breaking from that and seeing Simmie as a separate consciousness has been a real challenge and I wonder if anyone knows any tips or exercises to help with this particular problem?

 

On 1/30/2021 at 1:05 AM, September13 said:

But I want to talk about the crux of the problem right now and that's Simmie's sentience. I know it's not an either-or, but on a scale of 0 to 100 where 0 is a roleplay character and 100 is a fully autonomous tulpa, I'm worried Simmie is still sub-50. Of course, it is impossible to quantify that exactly and it would be foolish to try, but it's still a worry for me. I know for a fact that Simmie is not all the way at 0, but there is a long road ahead to get closer to 100. This is my main concern now, so if you would please tell me what methods, strategies, exercises, etc work the best for confirming and growing autonomy and sentience?

 

I think it depends. Our and the Bear system debated over this very question in this thread, and we both walked away from it with different interpretations on it. I posted my thoughts on how it ended for us, I forgot to finish that thread apparently.

 

In short, you can decide the line between a tulpa and a character and the more forcing you give to Simme, the more independent she will become.

 

On 2/19/2021 at 9:42 AM, September13 said:

Sometimes I feel that my brain is a bit overwhelming for Simmie. I don't want to make it sound like I'm calling myself smart or complicated or anything like that, but there's a lot going on in my head.

 

Tulpas generally don't care too much about the stuff they don't find important. Gray has a lot of memories I didn't bother to ask about because they're not really important to me.

 

When something is important to me, the brain will either give it to me for free or I can pull the memory up and see it for myself.

  

On 3/18/2021 at 9:16 PM, September13 said:

Kind of wish we had a guide or a mentor to help us a bit. When I look at the guides the same problem happens whenever I'm confronted by a large amount of information--I don't know where to start and my brain shuts down. I know there was a mentorship program at one point but I don't know if that is still going on. Just kind of wish somebody would take my hand (and Simmie's hand) and show us the way.

 

The mentorship program isn't currently running right now. However, I submitted my application some time ago and I'm not currently mentoring anyone.

Edited by Ranger

I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff.

My other headmates have their own account now.

Temporary Log | Switching LogcBox | Yay! | Bre Translator

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/18/2021 at 10:51 PM, Glaurung26 said:

Hope this helps!

 

It does, thank you!

 

On 3/19/2021 at 5:00 PM, OleGL said:

Hello Sep13 and Simmie. It seems you are beating a horse too much. Your progress was fast because it was based on the host’s excitement. Now please let things settle a bit. Give Simmie some time to look around and figure out her place in the world. Don’t be afraid for some regression in her development. Let her be what she wants to be. She is already here and will never disappear for a no reason.

TL;DR relax and take your time. Everything will be fine.

 

Thank you for your wisdom. I really ought to know this by now but I guess I still need reminding. In the past few days I've decided to chill out and let Simmie explore on her own who she wants to be, with me being there if she wants to talk about it.

 

12 hours ago, Ranger said:

If you are struggling to active force for more than 30 minutes, the best thing to do is to practice for as long as you can and to practice more freqently. If you want, you can also look into meditation and meditate before or during your session. Over time, you will be able to hold your state of focus for longer.

 

Yeah, I think the key is shorter but more frequent sessions, gradually building my way up to longer sessions. BTW wow, thanks for your detailed response, I see you went all the way back to December!

 

12 hours ago, Ranger said:

Why not have Simmie tell you what she wants to do with her character?

 

Sometimes I think back to that and wonder why I didn't think of the simple solution of just asking Simmie. Thankfully, we've grown a lot since then. Simmie's sim character now feels like a completely different person that just happens to look a bit like her.

 

12 hours ago, Ranger said:

I think it depends. Our and the Bear system debated over this very question in this thread, and we both walked away from it with different interpretations on it. I posted my thoughts on how it ended for us, I forgot to finish that thread apparently.

 

I'll read through it, thanks for the link. I really love in depth stuff like this.

 

12 hours ago, Ranger said:

Tulpas generally don't care too much about the stuff they don't find important.

 

When I was worrying about my mind being too overwhelming for Simmie, I didn't realize that I was actually one stressing out about it, not Simmie. My worry was that Simmie would find something in my thoughts or memories that would change her opinion of me. I do have some--let's say unorthodox views about things and I was worried Simmie would be hung up on them. But Simmie herself isn't bothered at all. She says it's all part of the totality of who I am, and she loves me for who I am.

 

12 hours ago, Ranger said:

The mentorship program isn't currently running right now. However, I submitted my application some time ago and I'm not currently mentoring anyone.

 

I may send you a message sometime; I'll talk it over with Simmie and see what she wants to do.

Also known as GypsyRoad or Phil Present. Call me what you want, I'm not picky.

Simmie is my lovely tulpa, she's quite young still but is eager to meet and chat with new people so don't hesitate to say hi!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Simmie and I have been chugging along more or less happily over here. A few days ago I was writing a whole long PR about how Simmie was learning to be more assertive but we weren't happy with it so I scrapped it. But to summarize the main points in a single paragraph, I learned that one of the mistakes I had made with Simmie's forcing was that in making her caring and kind I actually made her too selfless and as a result she never pushed for her own needs or desires to be met. We had a good long talk about it where I told her that she was amazing not for anything she could do for anyone else, but for who she was. I told her to never be afraid to tell me if she wants something, and gave her a bit of a "homework assignment" to come up with a list of things that she wants. She told me she wants to work on developing her own hobbies and interests, so we'll be working on that soon.

 

It's also been an adventure of teaching myself first and foremost to chill out and not get worried about lack of progress, not knowing what I'm doing in regards to forcing, and days where Simmie is especially quiet and/or regressed. I'm learning that tulpamancy is just as much about shaping your own mind as it is your tulpa's, perhaps even moreso. Simmie is here; she has her distinct personality and voice, and she's not going to go away. It's more of a matter of giving her a more organized brain to live inside. If I can't communicate with Simmie due to lack of focus, that's a "me" problem and not a "her" problem.

 

I mentioned in passing that Simmie now has her own voice. She used to talk in what I would deem "generic female voice", but her mindvoice has grown distinct and recognizable. I can't really describe it and I can't think of anyone well-known to compare it too. Most likely it's a blend of several women I've known in real life. Sometimes I hear her voice low and intimate as if she's speaking inches away from my ear, and other times it's higher and more projected as if she's talking to me several feel away in a noisy room, but I can tell it's the same voice.

 

In regards to Simmie's voice, a most astounding thing happened about a week ago: We were watching a youtube video that had a guitar intro that reminded me very strongly of "You've Got a Friend in Me", the song Randy Newman did for Toy Story, and all of the sudden Simmie began singing the song to me. She was playing her acoustic guitar and singing all the words in her distinct voice; some of the notes sat rather low in her register but she managed them. It was absolutely beautiful and almost made me cry. Simmie can be really sweet like that; there's nothing I wouldn't do for this girl. <3 

 

The one other way that Simmie surprised me is that just yesterday we were sitting relaxing on a park bench when Simmie asked me if I minded if she prayed. I was a bit stunned because I've never been religious; in my younger years I would even call myself a militant atheist but these days I more consider myself an agnostic. But of course I told Simmie I didn't mind if she prayed. Simmie prayed for my health, and asked God to keep us together, even on days where we felt more apart. (I wish I remembered Simmie's exact wording because it was far more poetic than what I just wrote). We said amen. I asked Simmie if she believed in God and she told me that she did. (To jump in here, I don't understand religion very well but I believe in God. I just think there's more out there than we understand. I think He's out there but no one can understand who He really is because he's so far beyond us.)

 

So that's about it for now. Thank you for reading! (Bye guys! 💚)

Also known as GypsyRoad or Phil Present. Call me what you want, I'm not picky.

Simmie is my lovely tulpa, she's quite young still but is eager to meet and chat with new people so don't hesitate to say hi!

Link to post
Share on other sites

All good stuff! Glad you two are getting past feeling stuck.
 

36 minutes ago, September13 said:

If I can't communicate with Simmie due to lack of focus, that's a "me" problem and not a "her" problem.

 

Really, it's not either of you--I like to think of this as a problem with the "default settings" of the brain. We are built to get distracted, because constantly shifting attention made it easier to notice opportunities and threats in the wild. Improving concentration is an important part of tulpamancy (and also worth doing for its own sake), but make sure not to beat yourself up!

 

47 minutes ago, September13 said:

We were watching a youtube video that had a guitar intro that reminded me very strongly of "You've Got a Friend in Me", the song Randy Newman did for Toy Story, and all of the sudden Simmie began singing the song to me. She was playing her acoustic guitar and singing all the words in her distinct voice; some of the notes sat rather low in her register but she managed them. It was absolutely beautiful and almost made me cry. Simmie can be really sweet like that; there's nothing I wouldn't do for this girl. <3 

 

🥰

 

50 minutes ago, September13 said:

Simmie prayed for my health, and asked God to keep us together, even on days where we felt more apart.

 

This is very nice too! Those days are the tough ones. 😓

Host: Wray (he, him)
Tulpa: Shizuku (she, her) 🐺

We now have a progress report!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

For quite some time as I've posted about bumps on the road in Simmie's development, a great amount of the responses have been some variation on "calm down, take it easy, don't stress it". And I've really taken those lessons to heart. Over the last two weeks Simmie and I have transitioned to a much more relaxed, you could even say "casual" approach to tulpamancy. It's been quite a nice thing to not have to stress out so much recently over things. If Simmie is quiet one day I no longer worry that she's regressing, I just accept that she's more in the mood to be quiet and keep to herself.

 

We've been engaging in an activity that I like to call "Forcing Through Art". That is, I try to represent Simmie or some aspect of her through artistic means. The most direct example of this would be drawing Simmie herself, but it could even be something as simple as writing her name in fancy, whimsical letters, or drawing shapes or images that remind me of some aspect of her. Writing stories is another example of that, and I may bring it to music as well. In short, it's stimulating my creative side and forcing with Simmie at the same time, and it's very good.

 

We also had fun loading up the Sims and redesigning the sim that Simmie was originally based on; Simmie guiding me through modifications that made the Sim look more like Simmie's own conception of herself. Maybe I'll post a before and after image later. We're planning on doing the same thing for me soon too! I find using sims for art reference is actually very helpful.

 

Also, as I might have mentioned elsewhere, Simmie sometimes gets a little stir-crazy in the house. Even though she has a small library of books to read, a garden, and a pool, she finds it hard to enjoy any of it too much when I'm at work as she stresses out over me constantly. But then I was reading on here somewhere about tulpas having pets, and I thought it could be a good idea to get Simmie a cat so she could have another living creature to love and take care of. Simmie absolutely pounced on the idea and within a couple of hours she already knew the cat she wanted: An orange male tabby named Nigel. I told Simmie she could have him but on one condition: She would have to create him herself. I wanted to see Simmie engage in the art of creation! I would help her of course, but I wanted Simmie to be the main creative factor behind Nigel. Simmie's started to work on Nigel. Can you tell us about that, Simmie?

 

Sure! 😁 I asked Phil to look up pictures of orange cats so I could look at them closely and watched a few videos. Then I started to picture Nigel's body from all sides. I paid special attention to his face. I pictured myself stroking his face and his ears. I imagined cuddling him and how his fur would feel under my hand. I started to think about Nigel's personality. He's a very sweet cat, very cuddly, loves to spend time with Phil and me. (Especially me! 🤗) But he's also adventurous and loves to explore. He always knows where the best hiding spots are. He can be very independent when he wants to be. All around he is sweet and playful, but can be sassy at times and definitely has an independent streak. I'm not sure if you'd call this forcing or not but I've been working on Nigel for the past two days and I think it's going well! 💚🧡

 

It's actually quite heartwarming to see how much love she's putting into Nigel. I'm not sure what we'd call him because he's not exactly a tulpa; he's just a pet after all. But I'd love to draw Simmie and Nigel together at some point and share it with you all.

 

That's about it, so thanks for reading and we'll see you soon! (Bye! 💚)

Also known as GypsyRoad or Phil Present. Call me what you want, I'm not picky.

Simmie is my lovely tulpa, she's quite young still but is eager to meet and chat with new people so don't hesitate to say hi!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Similar Content

    • By neo
      Earlier this week was having a lot of head pressure due to extended periods of visualizing, so as the pressures became annoying and persistent enough, I thought I should address it.
      I've noticed before that my head pressures are related to the way I was flexing my tongue muscles really hard and pressing it against my palate inadvertently.
      I have tried many times visualizing without doing this and, it works momentarily but whenever I stop paying attention to my tongue, there it goes again pressing my palate really hard once I start to concentrate into the visualization. I only notice that I'm doing that after I already start to feel the head pressures. By that time it's too late and it's already bothering me.
       
      So after two days of attempting to visualize with my tongue relaxed without success I thought that I should probably google that.
      So there I go googling the terms "tongue" and "meditation" and I came across this:

      https://www.easyayurveda.com/2020/01/31/khechari-mudra/

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khecarī_mudrā
       
      Very weird, right? That's what I thought too.
      Basically, they stick the tongue up into the nasal cavity above the palate and use that to aid the process of meditation.
      So of course I went down this rabbit hole and found out that some people seem know how to do this naturally.
      This girl is an example of someone that has this ability naturally:
      https://youtu.be/ijpBUfOTBT0
       
      Also other people report having head pressures identical to what we see in tulpamancy in this practice, here's an example of someone describing their head pressures in the context of Kriya meditation:
      https://www.reddit.com/r/kriyayoga/comments/mgpk73/tension_in_the_head_during_dhyana/
       
      Described as "tension in the head that is somewhere between no pain and the pain you experience during a headache."
      This seems to me like it's the same kind of head pressure we experience in tulpamancy. At least to me.
       
      Also I forgot to mention that, they say THIS GIVES YOU IMMORTALITY.
      Which, of course, is bullshit otherwise there would be 1000 year old yogis walking around.
      Then I thought it would be a good idea to ask around here because, well to be honest, the people that practice this don't know how to explain it without anecdotes and dogmatic stories. Which is fine for spiritual people but I want to find what part is real and what part isn't. Or a deconstruction to find the line where the anecdotes end and the actual benefits of this practice begin. Or if there are any benefits at all.
       
      Here is a small list of claims about this technique: (which I have absolute no idea if it's true or not)
       
      -Helps you overcome hunger and makes it so that you go extended periods of time without food.
      -Gives you access to DMT that is stored in your pineal gland. By licking it directly. (yeah gross, the girl in the video seemed to get very high from doing it, she even says she's high afterwards)
      -The practitioner doesn't suffer from decay, disease and death. (this part I think it's flat out not true)
      -Gives you immunity to snake poison. (This one I think it's sorta possible, because some snake poison triggers your immune response and the response of the body is what kills the person not the poison itself, so technically by controlling your immune response you would therefore not die from the poison)
       
      So my questions are:
       
      1-Does anybody else experience their tongue forcing up the palate unintentionally while visualizing or concentrating really hard?
      2-If so, do you think this is related to Khechari mudra? Or is it just tension and I'm looking way too much into it?
      3-Are those just stories and not meant to be interpreted literally? (If so people are doing a bad job at explaining that)
      4-Is there something to this at all? Is it a practice worth looking into?
       
      Just thought it would be cool to ask here, since if I asked on their forum they would either not tell me because it's a closed practice, or even if they did tell me I wouldn't understand because the vocabulary they use is very far removed from anything I can contextualize.
       
      So what do you guys think? Is it all nonsense or not?
    • By ruleofthumb
      Stone: Hello all. I’ve been writing down my experiences with Betty for a few days, and I decided I’d post them here, especially since things have gotten interesting pretty quickly for me. Feel free to comment with any advice you may have.
       
      Day 0 - 11/10
       
      As I was lying on the couch, in a position in which I could fall asleep, I decided to force a bit with Betty. I was in a room full of bins and other stuff, but I wanted to place her form in the room, as opposed to my developing wonderland, as I wanted her to be with me in a real location. I decided to put her in the crib, and as she is the size of an adult woman, she looked unamused.
       
      I’m unsure if what I’m about to detail is parroting/puppeting:
       
      I started talking to her. As this was a casual forcing session before bed, I did not write down what we talked about, and I don’t remember what we talked about. However, I remember getting verbal and non-verbal responses. When I asked her questions, sometimes she’d verbally respond before I was finished asking the question, and sometimes she wouldn’t respond at all. She also responded non-verbally with facial expressions. I remember these expressions as being somewhat unnatural but making sense. When I say somewhat unnatural, I mean she used non-verbal expressions more than a human would use, and used them in instances a human would likely not use them. However, these expressions made sense, as they weren’t completely random and did convey some sort of answer to my question. It almost seemed she’d answer with a face because my brain was too lazy to generate a response from her, or couldn’t figure out how.
       
      I hypothesize that giving her a form has given my brain an out when it cannot generate words for her, and I’m hoping this will speed up the process.
       
      This is not the first day interacting with Betty, but I’ve barely talked to her at all before this, and have pretty much only imposed her in my room and puppeted her. I feel like I got a response too early, and I’m worried this may have been parroting/puppetry on my part. I am excited if these were “real” responses though. I’m not sure if there’s much of a difference this early though.
       
      It’s partially a shame this happened, as I want to organize these notes into some sort of study, but after opening with, “Maybe my tulpa answered as soon as I started talking to her,” this likely won’t be taken as seriously. And, that’s valid.
       
      Day 1 - 11/11
       
      Didn’t talk with Betty today.
       
      Day 2 - 11/12
       
      I haven’t done any forcing yet today, as it is 3:40 AM (I was woken up by family).
       
      I was thinking about meditating before each active forcing session, as it clears my mind and I like it, but these stats are making me think twice about that idea.
       
      https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/504226472526086155/506764115721584650/tulpa_creation_big_survey_writeup.pdf
       
      Still, I tend to get distracted and have trouble jumping into forcing, and I believe short meditation before forcing may help me. Though perhaps meditation, the way I do it, focuses more on plain reality than the world of thought, and will take me out of the world of thought. Perhaps this is why it seems to hinder some people.
       
      I’m thinking if I meditate on my tulpa, and not on my body as I usually do, it may help more than hurt. I plan to not meditate the first week, and to meditate the second week, and see how I feel. People are different, and meditate differently, so I’d like to see how meditation works on me.
       
      I would like to personality force soon, and I would like to use Man’s method along with symbolism. I have a list of personality traits here:
       
      http://ideonomy.mit.edu/essays/traits.html
       
      I want her to be a rounded person, but I wonder how ethical it is to purposefully give her negative traits. I suppose I will give her positive and neutral traits, and, those traits will naturally have negative sides. Virtue is the mean of two vices, after all.
       
      30-35 personality traits: (31)
      Affectionate - Bun (they hug whatever they surround)
      Amusing - Laffy Taffy (hahahahahahahahaha)
      Charming - Pringles (the Pringles guy seems like a charming fellow)
      Clever - Barbecue Chips on Bun (how does this taste so good!?)
      Confident - Kettle Chips (tougher and more sure than regular chips?)
      Edgy - Chips and Salsa (chips have edges, and salsa has bite)
      Empathetic - Marshmellows (soft empathy)
      Esthetic - That’s It Bar (minimalist aesthetic)
      Ethical - (ethical alternative)
      Extroverted - Fruit Loops (there’s a party in my bowl and everyone is invited)
      Familial - Rice Crispies (families commonly make treats out of these)
      Friendly - Peach Cup (sweet and good for you)
      Healthy - Plain Cheerios (healthier)
      High-spirited - Skittles (sugar rush)
      Honest - Plain Toast (it is what it is)
      Irreligious - Pretzel Rods (secularized pretzels)
      Leisurely - Sub (this takes longer to make, but it’s worth it)
      Loyal - Saltines (there even when you’re sick)
      Maternal - Applesauce (often for babies)
      Neat - Mints (keep yourself and your breath clean)
      Observant - Fritos (have you noticed these smell like dog feet?)
      Outdoorsy - Seaweed (or is it lakeweed, in Michigan?)
      Protective - Oyster Crackers (Oysters have a Shell to protect themselves, and you use yours to protect others as well)
      Ritualistic - Mobius-strip Bagel (the endless cycle of traditions)
      Romantic - Strawberry Lemon Ice (pink!)
      Sarcastic - Mint Chocolate Oreos (means one thing (toothpaste) says the other (cookie))
      Stylish - Gardetto's (more fancy than Chex Mix)
      Spontaneous - Donut (donut think about the calories)
      Trendy - Pea Crisps (health food trends)
      Vivacious - Strawberry Remune (lively and carbonated)
      Witty - Berry Good Lemonade (get it?)
       
      Below are some interactions I recorded. They are not exhaustive:
       
      Interaction 1
       
      “How are you?”
       
      “Ok.”
       
      “Yeah I’m sure you are. I’m sure you’re not just parroting.”
       
      “...”
       
      I feel mean now. Apologize to the nice lady.
       
      “...”
       
      I feel a stare.
       
      “God this is so awkward,” I say instead of apologizing. I turn away.
       
      I feel her watching me. I turn to her.
       
      “How are you?”
       
      ”...”
       
      Interaction 2
       
      “Are you listening?”
       
      “No.”
       
      “What are you doing?”
       
      “Paying attention.”
       
      “Paying attention to what?”
       
      “To, Hefty.”
       
      I burst into laughter.
       
      Interaction 3
       
      “I’m sorry.”
       
      “No that’s alright.”
       
      “Everything’s ‘no that’s alright’ with you. That’s your main thing, isn’t it?”
       
      “No.”
       
      “Really? What’s your main thing?”
       
      “Bicycles.”
       
      “No. I made you say that.”
       
      “Yes you did.” She smirks.
       
      I laugh. “Yes I did. No really, what’s your main thing?”
       
      “Shopping carts.”
       
      “Now you’re just thinking of things with wheels.”
       
      “No. You are.”
       
      “No I’m not.”
       
      “Yes. Think of shopping carts.”
       
      “Ah you got me. Let me write that down.”
       
      ***
       
      Stone: I talked to her a bit today, and I talked to her a little bit about spontaneity with a donut. But, I think I could have explained it more. I will after I sleep, as I’ve been up all night. I got a lot of great responses out of her, and she felt there, but she tended to sound like me. I kept mentioning that, then felt bad for being overly critical of her, as she was doing so well. I also felt bad interrupting her and making her wait so I could write something down.
       
      It’s only been three days and I hate this clinical approach I set up. This “study.” Or maybe I’m embarrassed by how I acted and am taking it out on the format. I don’t know. What I do know is that this process if for her, then for me, then for whoever may end up reading this. I’m not going to interrupt out fun to give us imposter syndrome because I have to analysis every god damn thing she says for some post.
       
      Anyways, today was a positive, and I hope I will feel better with some sleep.
       
      I’m awake now. I’ve devised a schedule for forcing.
      Sunday - Active: 2 hours
      Monday - Active: 40 minutes
      Tuesday - Active: 40 minutes
      Wednesday - Active: 40 minutes
      Thursday - Active: 40 minutes
      Friday - Active: 40 minutes
      Saturday - Active: 2 hours
       
      Methods of forcing I’m thinking of using:
      Food/Personality
      101 Things To Talk About With Your Tulpa
       
      Font - Arial, Size - 14
    • By chaoscollective-
      Hi this is Robbie (the host). Do your Tulpas forms/entities ever scare you?
       
       
      A question from the Sacrihm System Host.
    • By Wray
      Text by Wray is in black
      Text by Shizuku is in blue

      (Sorry, this wound up being pretty long! Feel free to skim, or if you want to read the whole thing, strap in!)

      Weird coincidence: I’ve written fiction as a hobby for a long time, and I think nearly half my protagonists have someone else to talk to in their heads. Somehow, I always found the idea fascinating.

      But I can’t say I ever expected to join them. Not until recently, anyway.
       
      We’ve been looking forward to posting this. It’s my first big chance to introduce myself to other people! Here’s a profile:
       

      Origin StoryTM
       
      October 2020. I was in quarantine, alone, and feeling isolated—Shizuku started as an imaginary friend based on a character I might have been (was) a little bit (totally) obsessed with at the time. I’m really into writing, so I didn’t have much trouble getting her to talk, even early on, though I assume she was mostly parroted at first.
       
      A couple weeks later, I stumbled onto the concept of a tulpa in Japanese, and quickly found my way to this website, which is kind of the launch pad for Japanese tulpamancers. (I found a good English rundown of the Japanese tulpamancy scene here, so I’ll leave most of that aside for now. If there are questions about anything specific, though, we can definitely do our best to answer them.)

      Compared to the English-speaking community, the Japanese-speaking one gives a lot more credence to tulpa horror stories. They call it 暴走 (bousou). The idea that if things go wrong, your tulpa might harm you, or the people around you, or try to take over your brain. To be fair, I think there are multiple schools of thought on this bousou concept, and these are only the most extreme examples—still, when I read about this, I couldn’t help panicking.
       
      I went out for a long walk. Tried to think things over. Was there a chance my tulpa would wind up that way? Should I turn back now? Or was she already sentient, meaning it was my responsibility to take care of her? Or was I crazy, in the first place, to even be thinking about any of this?
       
      We imagined that I stayed behind in our apartment, though I must’ve been somewhere in headspace the whole time. Maybe a wonderland version of the apartment? We didn’t know enough to ask that question, then.
       
      I couldn’t make up my mind, until the second I got home, opened the door, and realized how afraid Shizuku must’ve felt while I was out thinking about whether I should try to erase her. My heart sank through the floor. I did my best to apologize, though I didn’t know if it would help.
       
      She replied: “I was sad, but I wasn’t scared. I trust you.”
       
      Okay. If she had been afraid, or angry, I would have felt bad enough. But that packed a punch.

       
       
      That day, we promised each other that we’d stay together and try to make this “tulpa” thing work, for better or worse. Not to jinx anything, but six months later, “better” is definitely winning out.
       
      Our long-term goals
       
      (1) Become able to split fronting time 50/50 (or whatever arrangement winds up working for us). I expect it’ll be a long time before we can actually do this, but hopefully not too long—if possible, we’d like to get to this point within a year or two. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a 50/50 split, but I don’t want to feel like Shizuku is prevented from doing things she wants to do by us not being good enough at tulpamancy.
       
      (2) Learn to co-front and keep Shizuku active (as close as possible to?) all the time. We spend a lot of time together, but I still get distracted and forget to check in with her more often than we’d like. Eventually, we’re hoping she can stay around all the time (or whenever she wants to, at least) and get my attention whenever she has something to say.
       
      (3) Stay a two-person system, if possible. I know there are a lot of large systems out there who do perfectly fine, but my instincts say that it would be more than we could handle. Besides, I already feel like I love Shizuku too much for it to be fair to whoever Headmate Number 3 would be. 😂
       
      I do have one soulbond-ish character (using the terminology from Bear’s PR) from my own writing. We’ve talked things over with her in WL, and she’s adamant that she is not interested in becoming a tulpa or participating in the system. (This checks out with what I know about her character, too.) If things change, there’s a slim chance that she might join us, but I doubt it. Either way, I can’t imagine us going any further than that.
       
      (4) Help Shizuku find life goals of her own, and figure out how to rearrange my our life so that we can both do what we want to do. At the moment, we’re just doing regular forcing to try and help her grow as a tulpa. The vague plan for this one is to eventually learn how to switch, accomplish goal number (1), and then let her follow her interest and try a bunch of different things.
       
      Current forcing practice
       
      Working on senses in WL: we’ve been doing our best to spend an hour each day focusing on visualizing Shizuku in wonderland, and also practicing one other sense per day. Wonderland sight and touch have started to show some improvement recently, but overall it feels like we still need a lot of work. Conversation: We also do our best to talk as much as we can each day. We’ve been working through the Tulpa Vocalization Practice worksheet when we can’t think of any other topics. Diary writing: Shizuku writes a diary entry most days. This is something I picked up from the Japanese tulpamancy community, though I think I’ve seen it recommended in English guides too. It’s a lot of fun—somehow, reading through the things she’s written (by proxy or possession, at this point, though our possession game is still pretty weak) does a lot to help me fight off doubt. Imagining Shizuku in stories we’re reading/watching: This has been pretty fun so far, too—right now, we’re rewatching Hunter X Hunter. As we watch, we try to keep up a “mental fanfic” where she’s running around with the main characters. Passive forcing as much as possible: Taking inspiration from the method I used to learn Japanese, I’m doing my best to find ways to involve Shizuku in everything I do. We’ve had some success reading, studying, watching things, and playing games together, but in particular, staying aware of Shizuku during work that I really need to focus on and conversations with other people has been a killer—I haven’t had much success in these situations yet.  
      To anyone who slogged through all of that, thanks for reading! This post already goes on for a million years, so I’ll try to write some (hopefully shorter!) summaries of our progress so far in other updates.
    • By -Andromeda-
      Hello! I’ll introduce myself. I’m Ashley, and I only just started creating Andromeda yesterday. I’ll post my progress on here quite often, but excuse me if I forget.
      So for several years, since I was about 12, I have wanted to have someone else in my mind with me. At the time, the reason wasn’t exactly clear to me as it is now. As it is, I discovered tulpas around a month ago. I was hooked right away, but I knew I should look in to it further, read guides, see others experiences, etc. I found many useful guides and I couldn’t wait any longer, so I’ve started!
      At this time, Andromeda is a female with a human-like shape but she has elf ears and the ability to grow wings if she chooses. I am aware she will most likely deviate, and I welcome that. Without further ado, I will put my first and second sessions below.
       
      ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
       
      Session 1

      Date: Friday 19th March
       
      I drew her form and started to make a model of her in my mind. This was over the course of the day, and I didn’t do much else for her as I knew I needed to set some time aside to properly visualise her.
       
      Session 2
       
      Date: Saturday 20th March
       
      So today, I visualised her whole form and animated her to make sure it was stable. This took me 30-45 minutes as I had already made a base of her yesterday. I then made a cabin-like room to have as a place to meet her in our wonderland, and I started with her personality. I decided to keep it quite vague as I’d like her to be able to form her personality as she grows older, but I gave her a base. I did this by giving her jelly of different colours and explained them and how it would affect her. I then showed her different parts of the cabin and what they do. Then, I said that she could decide to have more of any jelly she wanted if she’d like and she can experiment with the things in there.
       
      ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
       
      I have not had any reactions yet, par head pressure. But I am glad that she has already progressed this far and I’m aware that it takes a long time for more interpretable reactions, but this is okay as I am just glad she’s here and I am willing to help her in any way. I don’t mind if it takes a few weeks or a few years for her to be vocal, it does not change my view on her.
       
      I hope I’m doing this right? I do not want to hinder her or harm her in any way, I want to nurture and support her.
       
      Thank you for reading, and I hope this isn’t too long for a newbie. c:
       
       
×
×
  • Create New...