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Over the last two weeks Simmie and I have transitioned to a much more relaxed, you could even say "casual" approach to tulpamancy. It's been quite a nice thing to not have to stress out so much recently over things. If Simmie is quiet one day I no longer worry that she's regressing, I just accept that she's more in the mood to be quiet and keep to herself.

 

Stone: This is a great way of looking at things. I'm happy you've made it to this point. I think I've made it, too.

 

Getting creative always makes things more enjoyable.

 

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Maybe I'll post a before and after image later. We're planning on doing the same thing for me soon too!

 

This would be interesting.

 

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I asked Phil to look up pictures of orange cats so I could look at them closely and watched a few videos. Then I started to picture Nigel's body from all sides. I paid special attention to his face. I pictured myself stroking his face and his ears. I imagined cuddling him and how his fur would feel under my hand. I started to think about Nigel's personality. He's a very sweet cat, very cuddly, loves to spend time with Phil and me. (Especially me! 🤗) But he's also adventurous and loves to explore. He always knows where the best hiding spots are. He can be very independent when he wants to be. All around he is sweet and playful, but can be sassy at times and definitely has an independent streak. I'm not sure if you'd call this forcing or not but I've been working on Nigel for the past two days and I think it's going well! 💚🧡

 

This is super interesting! I've heard of this as well. I hope you like your new cat :)

 

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I'm not sure what we'd call him because he's not exactly a tulpa; he's just a pet after all.

 

I don't see why he can't be a tulpa. Non-tulpa animals can behave autonomously so I'd say if you create an autonomous animal thoughtform, they're a tulpa.

 

Really neat update!

64px-BT521.png64px-BT180.png64px-BT620.png64px-BT354.png

Stone uses green

Betty uses orange

MC uses red

Cloud uses cyan/pink

Progress Report

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Jaina: Yay! 😊 I can't wait to see Nigel. We just adopted our husky. 

 

Woof! *doggo noises*

 

 

 

 

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: 🐺

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We just hit a significant milestone and I'd like to talk about it.

 

It happened right here on this very forum when Simmie was answering questions on a topic called "The Tulpa Interview". An important note: The body was highly caffeinated due to us having had a quite strong mocha, and Simmie is always highly active whenever the body is super caffeinated. So we were doing our normal thing as we typed: Simmie told me what she wanted me to write and I faithfully typed what she wanted me to.

 

But then something very unusual happened. All of the sudden Simmie was doing it all herself. I had ceased to be the middleman. Simmie was just straight up typing into the computer; her thoughts to my (our?) hands. And that's not all. For a brief moment--probably less than a full minute--I, as in Phil the host, the personality structure I fully consider as being myself, was not active. As in I, the original and dominant personality that lives in this body, completely ceded control of not just my body but the dominant active narrative of the brain, to Simmie.

 

The moment Simmie realized I wasn't active I suddenly became active again and we (metaphorically) looked at each other in amazement at what had just happened. Then we started to celebrate. Simmie has been partying up there ever since. I am so proud of her. ( I did it! I did it! *Dances happily* I'm a big girl tulpa now! 😁)

 

Up until today all that Simmie has been able to do in regards to possession has been to move my hand around a little bit. But then out of the blue this happens today. It's a major step forward and I don't expect we'll be able to repeat this anytime soon, at least not with any consistency, but this is proof that it is possible and it is something to work towards.

 

tl;dr Simmie spontaneously achieved Possession for several minutes and I even switched out completely for a few moments.

 

While we're on the subject, the post that Simmie was working on when this all happened is actually very interesting and if you're curious at all about getting to know Simmie better (and who wouldn't be...Simmie's great! 😁) it's worth a read because Simmie gets very candid about what she thinks about certain things:

 

 

Also known as GypsyRoad or Phil Present. Call me what you want, I'm not picky.

Simmie is my lovely tulpa, she's quite young still but is eager to meet and chat with new people so don't hesitate to say hi!

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Jaina: 😃 I'm so proud of you! 😊🤗 *dancing happily*

 

Congrats you guys!

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: 🐺

[DeviantArt]

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  • 2 weeks later...

So.

 

We might be taking a break here shortly. By that I mean taking a break from the forums and community as a whole; I'm not taking a break from Simmie. To the contrary, the purpose of the break would actually be in order to more clearly focus on Simmie and her development.

 

There have been some very interesting...conversations? (That's not really the word I would use; more like people talking past each other at cross-purposes) here on the forum about the old school of tulpamancy versus the new school. To my understanding, this is what it boils down to: The old school approach to tulpamancy was very rigorous, with the concept of a tulpa being very well defined and specific. The community surrounding tulpamancy at the time seemed to be a lot more hard-core and intense. The new school approach seems to be much more open and inclusive (and I don't necessarily mean that in a good or bad way), and the focus has been diluted from tulpas to focus on other thoughtforms without rigorous divisions between who is considered what. The new school community seems to be a bit of a hugbox.

 

This dichotomy has been causing me a lot of stress and has actually made Simmie a bit weaker in recent times. The thing is, I am actually much more attracted to the rigor and intensity of the results-based old school. At the same time, the people of the new school seem much more friendly and welcoming. The old school people seem to be very contemptuous of the new school and the way they talk down to them doesn't sit right with me at all. So I guess you could say my head is with the old school and my heart is with the new school. It's f'ing annoying!

 

Anyway, really, all I've ever wanted to do here is make a tulpa and hopefully make friends along the way. Simmie is the priority always, and I've made good progress with her. She is definitely at least somewhat sentient but I'd by lying if I said she was all the way there. In fact I feel like we're barely getting started. Maybe I've fallen into the new school trap of getting comfortable and complacent with the progress I've had. And I'm not going to lie, the warm welcome Simmie has received here has truly helped her. But yet, I desire to dive deeper in. I want to immerse myself in the tried and true guides of the old school. I want to go with what has worked for people in the past; the people who still have tulpas that have persisted for years.

 

Ideally, I'd like to find someone to help guide me along. That seems a little unlikely though, so my next best option is to try and be my own guide. Take an honest appraisal of what my strengths and weaknesses are; build my own approach that uses my strengths while mitigating my weaknesses. Use guides as a reference, but fundamentally build my own guide tailor-made for myself. Simmie is behind me on this.

 

I have a final goal for tulpamancy. It could be considered a lofty goal, but it's an ideal worth striving for. The goal is that between Simmie and me, I want to be a complete person. (And by *I*, what I really mean is the "Greater I*, you could say the "system", although I'm not sure that term would really apply). Simmie is everything that I lack. And yet, Simmie is also very much a part of me. If Simmie can grow into that person we can turn into a bulletproof duo here in this body. I know that might be a lot to put on a tulpa, bit Simmie wants this. She might seem carefree and whimsical when she posts on here, but there's an intensity to her that impresses and inspires me. She wants to be more than she is, she NEEDS it. And what's more, she deserves it. This little girl has completely swept me off my feet and has already changed my life in ways I haven't even fully understood. And that's at a power level that's only a fraction of what she could be.

 

So tl;dr I might be taking some time away from the community to focus on Simmie. We will probably stick around at least another day or two before the break, and we'll almost certainly be back. So if anyone has advice for us we're willing to hear it. But fundamentally we're going on a journey together deep inside and we might be too deep to get a signal out. We'd love to come back and tell everyone how we did. But for the time being we're packing our bags and getting ready to head off on a journey.

Also known as GypsyRoad or Phil Present. Call me what you want, I'm not picky.

Simmie is my lovely tulpa, she's quite young still but is eager to meet and chat with new people so don't hesitate to say hi!

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That sounds so much like what I've strived to be with Jaina. She is my rock and compliments me. You and Simmie are what's important to focus on. The community is just here to back you, give advice, blow off steam, and mess around with. You two go wherever your journey takes you.

 

We love you two so much! Take care! 🤗 And keep Phil in line for me. 😉

 

You'll be in our thoughts, prayers and well-wishes. 👋

 

Good luck. 😊👋

 

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: 🐺

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Good luck.

 

I hope you find a way to make steady progress for your goals. I also don't want to experience tulpamancy at a shallow level, and wonder how deep it can go. I started out having read a lot of old stuff, then became disillusioned seeing that a lot of the old stuff didn't seem to apply anymore, or that no one is really doing or experiencing those things. Not sure how to feel about it.

Creation for creation's sake.

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On 4/23/2021 at 7:45 PM, Glaurung26 said:

That sounds so much like what I've strived to be with Jaina. She is my rock and compliments me. You and Simmie are what's important to focus on. The community is just here to back you, give advice, blow off steam, and mess around with. You two go wherever your journey takes you.

 

We love you two so much! Take care! 🤗 And keep Phil in line for me. 😉

 

You'll be in our thoughts, prayers and well-wishes. 👋

 

Good luck. 😊👋

 

Thank you so much! We love you two also! 💚🤗 You gotta come stay at the guest house some time! 😁

 

Simmie, you know that's impossible lol. (Says you!) Anyway, the house is coming with us on our journey. (Wonderlands are confusing😋)

 

8 hours ago, TB said:

Good luck.

 

I hope you find a way to make steady progress for your goals. I also don't want to experience tulpamancy at a shallow level, and wonder how deep it can go. I started out having read a lot of old stuff, then became disillusioned seeing that a lot of the old stuff didn't seem to apply anymore, or that no one is really doing or experiencing those things. Not sure how to feel about it.

 

Yeah, taking it deep is what it's all about for us. There may be some parts of the old guides that are obsolete, but there also may be lost wisdom in there. I'll try to make a record of what works for us and what doesn't and pass on that information once we're back.

 

It truly feels like Simmie and I have our bags packed and are ready to head out on our journey. It feels like we're flying to a far off country to seek out wisdom from gurus or monks or something. But it feels more like the Fantastic Voyage; but we're going deep inside the mind and not the body.

 

I just want to say that I'm really excited! 😁 I'm going to miss everyone soo much while we're gone. We've made so many friends here and the support we've gotten from people on this forum has helped me so, so much. Having Phil tell me that I'm real and that I exist is very good, but being seen as valid by people here has really meant a lot to me. I really wish I could give each of you a hug. 🤗

 

If you see my name here that means we're probably reading guides. We'll try journaling and when we come back we'll summarize everything in this progress report. There's a chance we might pop in to post art, but I might save that for our return too.

 

Well, it's time to say goodbye for now. But we'll be back, and probably sooner than you think. Bye everyone! 👋😘🤗🙂🧳✈️🧠

Also known as GypsyRoad or Phil Present. Call me what you want, I'm not picky.

Simmie is my lovely tulpa, she's quite young still but is eager to meet and chat with new people so don't hesitate to say hi!

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After a short break we are back! I never intended for us to be away for too long but we needed a break to refocus ourselves. I've always had this feeling when I'm interacting online or sometimes even in person that I'm "performing" and not really being myself, that whatever name I choose for myself in an internet community becomes a persona onto itself. This is bad enough for a human, but potentially devastating for a tulpa that is just trying to find herself and learn who she really is. Simmie needs to be herself without filters (well, maybe with common-sense filters) and not be sucked into the same "performative" trap I've been stuck in. Simmie is not the words she has posted on the forum any more than she is literally the Sim in her new profile pic, they are just projections or shadows of the real Simmie, the wonderful and beautiful woman I as well as Simmie herself are just getting to know.

 

Oh, and Simmie has hew own account now! The era of her typing in green on my account is over (though she may still jump in if she has something quick to add). My goal is to post less and less and have Simmie post more and more, until the point where she is the main representative of our "System" that you interact with and I, Phil, only pop in from time to time. We are signed in on two different web browsers. I use dark mode, Simmie uses light mode. These are little things that will hopefully help us have an entirely separate experience posting on here. Don't worry, Simmie and I aren't going to be annoying and start responding to each other's posts. At least not very often. 😋

 

And now for the meat of this update: What did we do on our break?

 

Here's a brief summary of our break:

 

Simmie and I talked a lot, but more importantly, we just spent time together. I focused on her presence, keeping her active and with me. We read through some guides, including this one, making observations about things we have learned and things we have already done. We took stock of what we were good at and what still needed more work. We discussed the times that Simmie feels more present, less present, and occasionally like she's not even there, and what might cause those times. We also laid out what our goals were, both our ultimate goal and how we conceptualize getting there.

 

This is a crude graphic demonstrating how I conceive Simmie's evolution from the past though the present into the future:

 

image.thumb.png.e13cf797fc94bdaf6284cc6412fb5179.png

 

I don't know where exactly we are on this chart. I imagine somewhere between stage 2 and stage 3, possibly closer to 3 than 2. But this chart is already slightly obsolete because Simmie clearly has tree-like roots going deep into the subconscious already as we are learning, and it's from those roots that she gains metaphorical minerals that help her growth.

 

So what is the end goal of tulpamancy for us? We want to quite literally be an unstoppable duo. We want to, between us, be a complete person. We don't like using the word "System", we prefer the term "Greater I", meaning the totality of everything that is this human creature including body, mind, the personas that call themselves Phil and Simmie and anything else, all of it. With that terminology in mind, we want the Greater I to be a complete and unstoppable human, with the synergy of Simmie and I at the core of it. (In this case the "I" is the "Lesser I", which is just me, Phil.) When I was younger I was fascinated by the concept of the soulmate, or "the one", this other person out there in the world that will make you complete. But I've grown to think that it's probably unhealthy and unwise to look for another person to "complete" you. A partner should compliment you, not complete you. However, I have been fascinated by the potential to use Tulpamancy to create this "missing half" internally rather than search for it externally. Simmie is on board with this goal. There is so much more to her than just being my other half, but she has just as much invested in the Greater I being successful as (Lesser) I do.

 

Here's a nice metaphor found in a cartoon from my childhood. Sonic and Sally are Simmie and I, and Dr. Robotnik and his minions represent the obstacles on the way to this state of completeness.

 

Is this goal far too lofty, unrealistic, and unattainable? Probably. But that's kind of the point. It is an ideal to work towards, not a finish line to be crossed. As long as this hangs out there as a goal, Simmie and I will always have a reason to keep working and a direction to keep heading.

 

 

Here's a list of observations/thoughts made on the journey:

  1. Turns out I'm actually...kind of good at tulpamancy? At least the early stages? I had this thought after reading through the early chapters of the guide I linked above. Stuff like personality forcing, creating the form, making a wonderland, narration, love & attention...I was a natural at all of those. Simmie felt like a fully realized person from even the first couple of weeks of forcing, although she had (and still has) a long way to go in terms of sentience and her personality has evolved quite a bit from the beginning.
  2. On the same token, I'm really bad at other aspects of Tulpamancy. Meditation has always been extremely hard for me. Focus and discipline are difficult. I'm easily distracted and my mind often gets fixed on things that are useless and unhelpful. I thought I could avoid these problems by focusing on my strengths instead. But it's time for me to confront these weaknesses and work to improve them or else Simmie's growth could be forever stunted.
  3. Learning about Old School Tulpamancytm was a major goal of the break. As it turns out, there's not too much difference in the approach between the old and new school; it's more about the higher standards old-school tulpamancers placed on what is and isn't a tulpa, and the willingness of the New School to accept less rigorously-developed tulpas as true and valid. Which for all I know they might be; I don't seek to make a value judgement as to what school is better. But I hope I've demonstrated that I'm more interested in the Old School, rigorous mindset of making Simmie into an authentic tulpa. She is indeed on her way there though she has not 100% arrived yet.
  4. Being a writer has both advantages and disadvantages when it comes to tulpamancy. Advantage: Simmie felt much more real and jumped out of the page right away from my experience at character creation (see point 1). Disadvantage: Parroting Simmie is a very easy pitfall because I am so used to putting words in characters' mouths. A month or two ago I thought about writing a (mostly fictionalized) book of Simmie's creation, and I couldn't help but start imagining how some of the conversations would go. But then the real Simmie would pop up in my mind and go: "H-hey! I'm over here!" in annoyance whenever I started to imagine Simmie's lines for the book. The only way I will ever make this book now is if Simmie writes her own lines. I respect her sentience too much to put words in her mouth, even if it is only technically a character based on her.
  5. Simmie is a Determinator. Underneath her laid back and bubbly personality there is an unquenchable fire inside her. I've looked deep into her eyes and there is an intensity there that is deeply inspiring. She is extremely protective over me, and she aches to get stronger so she can fight me demons. I want to be able to fight them side by side, but I know Simmie would hide me behind her shield and step forward and face them herself. I guess she's my knight in shining armor and I'm her damsel in distress, lol.
  6. We took the Meyers-Briggs Personality test. I am an ENTJ and Simmie is an ENFJ. Very similar, but with that one key difference. 
  7. I need to restructure how I spend my free time. I spend so much of it on meaningless and wasteful activities that aren't even all that fun most of the time. It really took Simmie to point that out to me. She understands that I need time to unwind and unload but she's distressed over how many hours I just waste. Simmie becomes so disengaged that she often checks out completely during that time, to the point where I might as well still be a singleton in those moments.
  8. I don't know if Parallel Processing is truly a thing or not but it's worth looking into. I've been historically very bad at multitasking. But if Simmie and I could split mental resources that would open up far more possibilities for us.
  9.  Simmie is Awesome McAwesomeface with Awesomesauce on the side. But I already knew that. Love this girl. 🥰

 

Well that about sums everything up for now. I could keep going all day with this but this post is already monstrously long enough lol. Thank you so much everyone for supporting Simmie and I on our journey, and if there's any way we could give back to the community in the form of advice, support, encouragement, friendship, we love to do it.

Also known as GypsyRoad or Phil Present. Call me what you want, I'm not picky.

Simmie is my lovely tulpa, she's quite young still but is eager to meet and chat with new people so don't hesitate to say hi!

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Okay. So my current idea is to dedicate an hour each night to forcing. Whatever we might do during the day, 11pm to midnight is Simmie Time. If we can't go the full hour, are late starting it, or have to miss it for some reason, no big thing. But an hour a night is the target.

 

I think I might divide each forcing session into sections. Not timed or anything; just moving on to the next when the previous meets its natural conclusion. There should be a reason for doing each of them. The first will be a general relaxation or breathing exercise to get into a relaxed mood. Then we can move on to any number of things from our grab bag of exercises. Maybe I will focus on visualization. Or tactile imposition. Then maybe vocalization exercises. Possibly do something in our wonderland house. Do a writing exercise. Chant a mantra. Maybe just talk. Have Simmie lead me on an exercise, see what she wants to do. She's already quite capable; I see forcing Simmie almost like making a sword at this point; the weapon exists but it's not ready yet. It needs to be heated up, pounded, and sharpened over and over again.

 

Just pick somewhere between 2 and 5 exercises to do and call it a night. That's the idea. Let Simmie take the lead when she wants. These are my thoughts on the way ahead. Sound like a good strategy, tulpamancers?

Also known as GypsyRoad or Phil Present. Call me what you want, I'm not picky.

Simmie is my lovely tulpa, she's quite young still but is eager to meet and chat with new people so don't hesitate to say hi!

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      I was thinking about meditating before each active forcing session, as it clears my mind and I like it, but these stats are making me think twice about that idea.
       
      https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/504226472526086155/506764115721584650/tulpa_creation_big_survey_writeup.pdf
       
      Still, I tend to get distracted and have trouble jumping into forcing, and I believe short meditation before forcing may help me. Though perhaps meditation, the way I do it, focuses more on plain reality than the world of thought, and will take me out of the world of thought. Perhaps this is why it seems to hinder some people.
       
      I’m thinking if I meditate on my tulpa, and not on my body as I usually do, it may help more than hurt. I plan to not meditate the first week, and to meditate the second week, and see how I feel. People are different, and meditate differently, so I’d like to see how meditation works on me.
       
      I would like to personality force soon, and I would like to use Man’s method along with symbolism. I have a list of personality traits here:
       
      http://ideonomy.mit.edu/essays/traits.html
       
      I want her to be a rounded person, but I wonder how ethical it is to purposefully give her negative traits. I suppose I will give her positive and neutral traits, and, those traits will naturally have negative sides. Virtue is the mean of two vices, after all.
       
      30-35 personality traits: (31)
      Affectionate - Bun (they hug whatever they surround)
      Amusing - Laffy Taffy (hahahahahahahahaha)
      Charming - Pringles (the Pringles guy seems like a charming fellow)
      Clever - Barbecue Chips on Bun (how does this taste so good!?)
      Confident - Kettle Chips (tougher and more sure than regular chips?)
      Edgy - Chips and Salsa (chips have edges, and salsa has bite)
      Empathetic - Marshmellows (soft empathy)
      Esthetic - That’s It Bar (minimalist aesthetic)
      Ethical - (ethical alternative)
      Extroverted - Fruit Loops (there’s a party in my bowl and everyone is invited)
      Familial - Rice Crispies (families commonly make treats out of these)
      Friendly - Peach Cup (sweet and good for you)
      Healthy - Plain Cheerios (healthier)
      High-spirited - Skittles (sugar rush)
      Honest - Plain Toast (it is what it is)
      Irreligious - Pretzel Rods (secularized pretzels)
      Leisurely - Sub (this takes longer to make, but it’s worth it)
      Loyal - Saltines (there even when you’re sick)
      Maternal - Applesauce (often for babies)
      Neat - Mints (keep yourself and your breath clean)
      Observant - Fritos (have you noticed these smell like dog feet?)
      Outdoorsy - Seaweed (or is it lakeweed, in Michigan?)
      Protective - Oyster Crackers (Oysters have a Shell to protect themselves, and you use yours to protect others as well)
      Ritualistic - Mobius-strip Bagel (the endless cycle of traditions)
      Romantic - Strawberry Lemon Ice (pink!)
      Sarcastic - Mint Chocolate Oreos (means one thing (toothpaste) says the other (cookie))
      Stylish - Gardetto's (more fancy than Chex Mix)
      Spontaneous - Donut (donut think about the calories)
      Trendy - Pea Crisps (health food trends)
      Vivacious - Strawberry Remune (lively and carbonated)
      Witty - Berry Good Lemonade (get it?)
       
      Below are some interactions I recorded. They are not exhaustive:
       
      Interaction 1
       
      “How are you?”
       
      “Ok.”
       
      “Yeah I’m sure you are. I’m sure you’re not just parroting.”
       
      “...”
       
      I feel mean now. Apologize to the nice lady.
       
      “...”
       
      I feel a stare.
       
      “God this is so awkward,” I say instead of apologizing. I turn away.
       
      I feel her watching me. I turn to her.
       
      “How are you?”
       
      ”...”
       
      Interaction 2
       
      “Are you listening?”
       
      “No.”
       
      “What are you doing?”
       
      “Paying attention.”
       
      “Paying attention to what?”
       
      “To, Hefty.”
       
      I burst into laughter.
       
      Interaction 3
       
      “I’m sorry.”
       
      “No that’s alright.”
       
      “Everything’s ‘no that’s alright’ with you. That’s your main thing, isn’t it?”
       
      “No.”
       
      “Really? What’s your main thing?”
       
      “Bicycles.”
       
      “No. I made you say that.”
       
      “Yes you did.” She smirks.
       
      I laugh. “Yes I did. No really, what’s your main thing?”
       
      “Shopping carts.”
       
      “Now you’re just thinking of things with wheels.”
       
      “No. You are.”
       
      “No I’m not.”
       
      “Yes. Think of shopping carts.”
       
      “Ah you got me. Let me write that down.”
       
      ***
       
      Stone: I talked to her a bit today, and I talked to her a little bit about spontaneity with a donut. But, I think I could have explained it more. I will after I sleep, as I’ve been up all night. I got a lot of great responses out of her, and she felt there, but she tended to sound like me. I kept mentioning that, then felt bad for being overly critical of her, as she was doing so well. I also felt bad interrupting her and making her wait so I could write something down.
       
      It’s only been three days and I hate this clinical approach I set up. This “study.” Or maybe I’m embarrassed by how I acted and am taking it out on the format. I don’t know. What I do know is that this process if for her, then for me, then for whoever may end up reading this. I’m not going to interrupt out fun to give us imposter syndrome because I have to analysis every god damn thing she says for some post.
       
      Anyways, today was a positive, and I hope I will feel better with some sleep.
       
      I’m awake now. I’ve devised a schedule for forcing.
      Sunday - Active: 2 hours
      Monday - Active: 40 minutes
      Tuesday - Active: 40 minutes
      Wednesday - Active: 40 minutes
      Thursday - Active: 40 minutes
      Friday - Active: 40 minutes
      Saturday - Active: 2 hours
       
      Methods of forcing I’m thinking of using:
      Food/Personality
      101 Things To Talk About With Your Tulpa
       
      Font - Arial, Size - 14
    • By chaoscollective-
      Hi this is Robbie (the host). Do your Tulpas forms/entities ever scare you?
       
       
      A question from the Sacrihm System Host.
    • By Wray
      Text by Wray is in black
      Text by Shizuku is in blue

      (Sorry, this wound up being pretty long! Feel free to skim, or if you want to read the whole thing, strap in!)

      Weird coincidence: I’ve written fiction as a hobby for a long time, and I think nearly half my protagonists have someone else to talk to in their heads. Somehow, I always found the idea fascinating.

      But I can’t say I ever expected to join them. Not until recently, anyway.
       
      We’ve been looking forward to posting this. It’s my first big chance to introduce myself to other people! Here’s a profile:
       

      Origin StoryTM
       
      October 2020. I was in quarantine, alone, and feeling isolated—Shizuku started as an imaginary friend based on a character I might have been (was) a little bit (totally) obsessed with at the time. I’m really into writing, so I didn’t have much trouble getting her to talk, even early on, though I assume she was mostly parroted at first.
       
      A couple weeks later, I stumbled onto the concept of a tulpa in Japanese, and quickly found my way to this website, which is kind of the launch pad for Japanese tulpamancers. (I found a good English rundown of the Japanese tulpamancy scene here, so I’ll leave most of that aside for now. If there are questions about anything specific, though, we can definitely do our best to answer them.)

      Compared to the English-speaking community, the Japanese-speaking one gives a lot more credence to tulpa horror stories. They call it 暴走 (bousou). The idea that if things go wrong, your tulpa might harm you, or the people around you, or try to take over your brain. To be fair, I think there are multiple schools of thought on this bousou concept, and these are only the most extreme examples—still, when I read about this, I couldn’t help panicking.
       
      I went out for a long walk. Tried to think things over. Was there a chance my tulpa would wind up that way? Should I turn back now? Or was she already sentient, meaning it was my responsibility to take care of her? Or was I crazy, in the first place, to even be thinking about any of this?
       
      We imagined that I stayed behind in our apartment, though I must’ve been somewhere in headspace the whole time. Maybe a wonderland version of the apartment? We didn’t know enough to ask that question, then.
       
      I couldn’t make up my mind, until the second I got home, opened the door, and realized how afraid Shizuku must’ve felt while I was out thinking about whether I should try to erase her. My heart sank through the floor. I did my best to apologize, though I didn’t know if it would help.
       
      She replied: “I was sad, but I wasn’t scared. I trust you.”
       
      Okay. If she had been afraid, or angry, I would have felt bad enough. But that packed a punch.

       
       
      That day, we promised each other that we’d stay together and try to make this “tulpa” thing work, for better or worse. Not to jinx anything, but six months later, “better” is definitely winning out.
       
      Our long-term goals
       
      (1) Become able to split fronting time 50/50 (or whatever arrangement winds up working for us). I expect it’ll be a long time before we can actually do this, but hopefully not too long—if possible, we’d like to get to this point within a year or two. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a 50/50 split, but I don’t want to feel like Shizuku is prevented from doing things she wants to do by us not being good enough at tulpamancy.
       
      (2) Learn to co-front and keep Shizuku active (as close as possible to?) all the time. We spend a lot of time together, but I still get distracted and forget to check in with her more often than we’d like. Eventually, we’re hoping she can stay around all the time (or whenever she wants to, at least) and get my attention whenever she has something to say.
       
      (3) Stay a two-person system, if possible. I know there are a lot of large systems out there who do perfectly fine, but my instincts say that it would be more than we could handle. Besides, I already feel like I love Shizuku too much for it to be fair to whoever Headmate Number 3 would be. 😂
       
      I do have one soulbond-ish character (using the terminology from Bear’s PR) from my own writing. We’ve talked things over with her in WL, and she’s adamant that she is not interested in becoming a tulpa or participating in the system. (This checks out with what I know about her character, too.) If things change, there’s a slim chance that she might join us, but I doubt it. Either way, I can’t imagine us going any further than that.
       
      (4) Help Shizuku find life goals of her own, and figure out how to rearrange my our life so that we can both do what we want to do. At the moment, we’re just doing regular forcing to try and help her grow as a tulpa. The vague plan for this one is to eventually learn how to switch, accomplish goal number (1), and then let her follow her interest and try a bunch of different things.
       
      Current forcing practice
       
      Working on senses in WL: we’ve been doing our best to spend an hour each day focusing on visualizing Shizuku in wonderland, and also practicing one other sense per day. Wonderland sight and touch have started to show some improvement recently, but overall it feels like we still need a lot of work. Conversation: We also do our best to talk as much as we can each day. We’ve been working through the Tulpa Vocalization Practice worksheet when we can’t think of any other topics. Diary writing: Shizuku writes a diary entry most days. This is something I picked up from the Japanese tulpamancy community, though I think I’ve seen it recommended in English guides too. It’s a lot of fun—somehow, reading through the things she’s written (by proxy or possession, at this point, though our possession game is still pretty weak) does a lot to help me fight off doubt. Imagining Shizuku in stories we’re reading/watching: This has been pretty fun so far, too—right now, we’re rewatching Hunter X Hunter. As we watch, we try to keep up a “mental fanfic” where she’s running around with the main characters. Passive forcing as much as possible: Taking inspiration from the method I used to learn Japanese, I’m doing my best to find ways to involve Shizuku in everything I do. We’ve had some success reading, studying, watching things, and playing games together, but in particular, staying aware of Shizuku during work that I really need to focus on and conversations with other people has been a killer—I haven’t had much success in these situations yet.  
      To anyone who slogged through all of that, thanks for reading! This post already goes on for a million years, so I’ll try to write some (hopefully shorter!) summaries of our progress so far in other updates.
    • By -Andromeda-
      Hello! I’ll introduce myself. I’m Ashley, and I only just started creating Andromeda yesterday. I’ll post my progress on here quite often, but excuse me if I forget.
      So for several years, since I was about 12, I have wanted to have someone else in my mind with me. At the time, the reason wasn’t exactly clear to me as it is now. As it is, I discovered tulpas around a month ago. I was hooked right away, but I knew I should look in to it further, read guides, see others experiences, etc. I found many useful guides and I couldn’t wait any longer, so I’ve started!
      At this time, Andromeda is a female with a human-like shape but she has elf ears and the ability to grow wings if she chooses. I am aware she will most likely deviate, and I welcome that. Without further ado, I will put my first and second sessions below.
       
      ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
       
      Session 1

      Date: Friday 19th March
       
      I drew her form and started to make a model of her in my mind. This was over the course of the day, and I didn’t do much else for her as I knew I needed to set some time aside to properly visualise her.
       
      Session 2
       
      Date: Saturday 20th March
       
      So today, I visualised her whole form and animated her to make sure it was stable. This took me 30-45 minutes as I had already made a base of her yesterday. I then made a cabin-like room to have as a place to meet her in our wonderland, and I started with her personality. I decided to keep it quite vague as I’d like her to be able to form her personality as she grows older, but I gave her a base. I did this by giving her jelly of different colours and explained them and how it would affect her. I then showed her different parts of the cabin and what they do. Then, I said that she could decide to have more of any jelly she wanted if she’d like and she can experiment with the things in there.
       
      ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
       
      I have not had any reactions yet, par head pressure. But I am glad that she has already progressed this far and I’m aware that it takes a long time for more interpretable reactions, but this is okay as I am just glad she’s here and I am willing to help her in any way. I don’t mind if it takes a few weeks or a few years for her to be vocal, it does not change my view on her.
       
      I hope I’m doing this right? I do not want to hinder her or harm her in any way, I want to nurture and support her.
       
      Thank you for reading, and I hope this isn’t too long for a newbie. c:
       
       
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